Pristine
by BrittzandTana
Summary: Repost from Ao3. Clarke's 21, about to get her associates degree in art. She's comfortable with herself, and ready for this next stage of her life. Lexa is 17, starting her last year of high school and not so comfortable with herself. When Lexa nearly hooks up with an older guy during her "rebellious phase", she finds herself swept up in the life she'd rather be living. CLEXA AU!
1. Chapter 1

_**Full Original Summary:**_ Clarke's twenty-one, about to get her associates degree in art, and she and her friends just pitched their cash together to pay for an old, nearly abandoned warehouse to be their ultimate hangout zone. She's comfortable with herself, pretty sure she's more than a little gay, though not entirely, and ready for this next stage of her life. Lexa, on the other hand, is seventeen, starting her last year of high school and feeling not so comfortable with herself. She's not sure if she likes boys, she's not sure who she wants to be... Sure, she's smart and her future is pretty set, but where's the fun in that? When Lexa nearly hooks up with an older guy during what everyone seems to be calling her "rebellious phase", she finds herself swept up in the life she'd rather be living, with a girl she'd very much like to be with. (Don't worry fam, Lexa is gay AF)

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 **A/N: Hello beautiful humans! This Pristine, a story that I wrote like a crazy person in the span on a month and posted on Ao3. Since it's finished and its sequel is now going up on Ao3, I'm gonna post this story on here, 2 chapters a day. Assuming I don't miss any days, the full thing will be up in 14 days total! :D**

 **So yes, it is entirely finished, and I won't be putting up A/Ns for every chapter :P However, reviews and whatnot are always appreciated 3 and please remember that you can follow me on Twitter at BrittzandTana and if you tweet me that you read this, I'll follow you back!**

 **Here's chapter one, chapter two will be up immediately after, and then two more will be up tomorrow! :D xx**

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Clarke stomped up to the warehouse, really not in the mood to deal with what she thought she was about to have to deal with. She couldn't find any of her friends, and they were supposed to help her set up her space in the warehouse, but after half an hour of trying to figure out where the fuck they were, it turns out that they were already there. And that meant that they either started without her, in which case they'd definitely messed something up by now, or they were doing some other shit that was not acceptable. It was her damn turn to get her space set up – they all had theirs.

"Are you guys here?" Clarke demanded, shouting through the building as she pushed open the large sliding door. The front room, which they had yet to decorate, was empty, but she heard voices from the room to the right. Octavia's space. She took a right and entered into the room to see her friends sprawled across the floor, each with beers in their hands.

"Aye, Clarke!" Octavia exclaimed, grinning. "We were waiting for you!"

"And you're all drunk as fuck, of course," Clarke growled, rolling her eyes. "You do realize I've waited the longest to get my space set up, because I was helping all you imbeciles with yours?"

"Yours is the easiest to set up," Jasper insisted, snorting as he broke into laughter for some reason, but then he quickly went calm again and continued, "I mean, it's just a bunch of easels and stuff."

"Tell me that again when you've carried all those damn easels," Clarke snapped, kicking at his leg lightly and then huffing. "Get up you guys, you have to help me. Where the fuck is Finn?"

"He brought a girl," Bellamy answered, and he, Raven and Monty began laughing like it was the funniest thing.

Octavia groaned. "Yeah, he brought a girl. I thought we had a no dates policy here?"

"I thought so too," Raven agreed, "but Finn thinks that because he's slept with us girls by now, that it's somehow okay for him to bring more in there for him to ruin."

"He's in his shop right now if you wanna go kick his ass," Bellamy said, hopping up and offering Clarke a wide smile. "C'mon guys, let's go get Clarke's shit."

"Thank you," Clarke muttered, stepping around Jasper and Monty on the floor in order to continue on through the warehouse. It was disorganized and actually kind of confusing to get through, but she'd stepped through it enough times to know which room was what and how to get to one place the quickest. Finn's shop room was in the back, filled with tools and wood and other things you'd expect to see in a workshop. His was the first room set up, and he'd added a sofa into the small space about a week after it got set up, and since then, he'd brought at least five girls back to the warehouse to have sex on that disgusting sofa.

Clarke just wanted her space in the place to be hers, and she didn't really appreciate that Finn couldn't even care to try to help her. She reached his shop easily and banged forcefully on the wooden sliding door he'd set up in the entrance. At least he'd had the sensibility to do that much. "Finn, get the fuck out here and help me get my shit out of my car and into my room!"

"I'm a little busy, Clarke!" Finn called, and she heard the stifled moan of a girl at the same time.

"I don't give a fuck, Finn!" she yelled angrily. "This is a no date zone."

"Not a date!"

"Sex counts!"

"Not sex... yet!"

Clarke rolled her eyes, grabbing the handle of the door and sliding it open without a care, unsurprised as a pretty little brunette thing hopped up from the couch, tripping and nearly falling – her shirt almost off of her body. Finn was now sitting up straight on the couch, glaring daggers at Clarke. "Get your ass out to my car," she said in the overly sweet tone that she knew could piss him off so easily.

"Couldn't wait five fucking minutes, Clarke?" Finn demanded, standing up and pushing past her angrily.

Not hesitating, she shouted over her shoulder at him, "We were supposed to start ten minutes ago, you asshole!" She looked back into Finn's shop and saw that the girl was not longer sprawled across the floor, but rather standing up straight and staring at her.

"I'm really sorry," she squeaked suddenly, her voice sounding all too innocent for a guy like Finn to have been touching her. It actually made Clarke cringe.

"Yeah, it's fine. You should go."

"Um... I don't really remember how to get out of here..."

Clarke sighed, gesturing with her head for the girl to follow her, and she did instantly. "Do you have your car here?"

"Uh, no, but I can have someone come and pick me up," the girl muttered quickly, fumbling over her words a little. She immediately grabbed her phone from her back pocket and began texting away at it. "I uh... didn't know that I wasn't supposed to be over here."

"It's fine, seriously. Finn's the asshole here. You haven't slept with him, have you?"

The girl blinked. "No."

"Good, don't," Clarke advised, rolling her eyes. She passed by her space and glanced at it, noticing that it was still empty. "If those damn idiots broke my fucking easel..."

The girl was smart enough not to question the seething blonde as they exited the warehouse. Luckily, Clarke realized, her buffoons of friends hadn't broken anything. Rather, they were apparently just arguing over who would carry what.

"You idiots could be done by now if you just started carrying shit!" Clarke yelled at them across the dirt paved area. It was a big area, surrounded by trees and some other abandoned building type things. Their cars were lined neatly on one side of the dirt clearing, where her friends were right now, and the entrance to the warehouse was on the other side, where Clarke was now. She looked to the brunette girl and raised an eyebrow. "Does your friend know where to go to get here?"

"Yeah, I told her," the girl answered quietly, looking maybe ashamed or just bashful in general. "She'll... be a few minutes, though. Or like... fifteen tops. But it's fine, I'll just sit out here. I don't want to intrude at all."

"Mkay," Clarke agreed, stepping away from the girl and realizing that green eyes were settled on her back as she turned around. She didn't take the time to question why the girl kept staring at her. Clarke wasn't particularly social when it came to people other than her friends. She preferred to stick to herself and her art, which was what she'd been wanting to do for the weeks that she'd been waiting to set up her space in the warehouse.

She made her way over to her friends, seeing that Bellamy and Jasper had already started inside with two of her easels. There was only one more, and she grabbed it, refusing Finn's help when he offered. He could grab some of her other shit, she was done dealing with him. Clarke still felt the girl's eyes on her as she lugged the easel into the warehouse, and she was finally free of the burning gaze once she was inside. She let out a relieved sigh, but she wasn't sure why she was relieved in the first place.

She weaved through the rooms until she reached hers. It was the biggest in the warehouse. No one had argued with her when she claimed it, considering that she'd contributed the most money and effort to the place. She had taped on the floor already where everything was meant to go, and she was pleased to see that Bellamy and Jasper had so far placed her easels correctly.

"Is there anything else that's big?" Bellamy asked, as Clarke placed her third easel exactly on the designated tape.

"No, but tomorrow or Monday I'm heading to Ikea and I'll be back with a huge shelf in shambles. I don't know who's busy, I can probably deal with it myself," Clarke replied, shrugging. Bellamy was always the most helpful, and that made Clarke always shy away from accepting his help. It was probably the weirdest thing about her – she longed for people to care about her and offer to help her, but she hated to accept it. She'd given up trying to figure herself out though.

"Alright well, if I'm around, holler and I'll give you a hand," he said. "Not sure when I'll be in here Monday, though. I have some classes."

"I have some Monday as well," Clarke answered, nodding and sighing. "I'm glad it's almost over."

"You really not going past your Associates Degree?" Bellamy asked. They were both standing in the middle of her space now, and Jasper had left the room to go grab more stuff. Clarke realized that she probably should be too, she started walking and talking, her friend moving to join her immediately.

"No, I don't think so," Clarke answered. "I'm kind of done with college, you know? School in general. Now that I have this place... I want to just spent my time doing art."

"What about money?"

"I've got The Bean."

"That you do," Bellamy agreed, and they emerged from the warehouse and headed back toward the car, passing Finn, Raven, Octavia and Monty carrying Clarke's boxes of art supplies into the building. Clarke's gaze caught on the girl who was now leaning against Finn's truck, clearly waiting for her ride. Her eyes were now focused on her phone, probably trying to seem preoccupied while the rest of them were actually busy doing things.

Clarke couldn't help but briefly wonder what her story was – how had she ended up nearly hooking up with Finn on a Saturday? She looked like a girl who should have more of an interesting life than that, even if it was just hanging out with friends. Clarke couldn't pinpoint her age either. She figured that she was probably twenty or so, but whatever her age was, she was definitely under twenty-one. If she was older than everyone in their group, Clarke was sure that she would've been able to notice. Plus, it didn't seem like she'd been intoxicated at all. As Clarke realized that, though, she wondered why on earth a sober girl would decide to hook up with Finn.

Shaking the thoughts off, Clarke gestured to the things that Bellamy could grab, and then as he headed into the warehouse, she grabbed the last of them. As she stepped away from her car, her arms full, she used her hip to close the back of her car. It was times like these that she was glad that she had decided to buy a RAM ProMaster City instead of a smaller car. A cargo van was definitely something that she needed. Not to mention that she loved the dark, metallic blue of it. Honestly, she just loved her car.

Glancing over at the girl standing alone by Finn's car, Clarke decided to lock her own car... just in case. Fumbling to reach her keys in her pockets, one of the tupperwares she was holding slid off the stack and fell onto the ground with a crash, hitting Clarke's foot slightly and causing her to squeal rather uncharacteristically. "Fuck," she grumbled, kneeling down and setting the stack of tupperwares down while she grabbed for her keys. As she looked up and made to lock her car, she realized that the brunette was headed over to her. She tried not to roll her eyes.

"Do you need help?"

"No," Clarke answered, shoving her keys back into her pocket and then leaning down to pick up the stack. She did so swiftly and easily, purposefully looking away from the girl as she stood back up with the items in hand.

As she started back into the warehouse, she heard feet following her. "This place is cool. Is it yours?"

"It's all of ours," Clarke answered, rolling her eyes now without hesitating, because the brunette couldn't see her face.

"But you act like the boss."

"Yeah, well, someone has to," Clarke muttered. "Is your friend going to be here soon?" She stopped in front of the entrance and looked to the brunette. A flash of embarrassment passed over the girl's face as she realized that Clarke didn't want her to come back inside the warehouse.

"Uh, yeah. She'll be here pretty quickly now I think," the girl muttered. "Anyway, uh. Thanks for not like... killing me or something. I'm sorry about causing any drama."

"It's fine. This isn't Finn's first time bringing girls here anyway," Clarke answered, unaware of the reason she was even giving this girl any time of day. "I should probably get to my room and make sure those assholes didn't mess it up."

"Yeah, I'm just gonna... wait for my friend. Um... have a good day." The girl turned around, grabbing her phone out of her back pocket, and then hurried back off to wait by Finn's car. Clarke didn't stare after her, instead immediately turning and heading back inside. She really did need to make sure that her friends hadn't messed anything up.

"What took you so long? We don't know where to put this shit," Raven huffed out, glaring at Clarke.

"I was dealing with Finn's pretty little brunette," Clarke muttered, rolling her eyes.

"She's hot as fuck, don't tell me she's not," Finn argued angrily, crossing his arms. "C'mon, you can't admit that you find her attractive, too, Clarke?"

"Whether or not I do," Clarke growled, "we agreed that this was a no significant other zone. No making out, no sex, none of that. We agreed, all of us. Plus, you treat girls like toys, Finn, and if I could, I'd ban you from being able to have sex with every girl ever."

"She has a point," Octavia agreed.

"As for the stuff," Clarke continued, glancing around the room, "I still have to get my whole shelf up, so the tupperwares can go over here..." She set her own tupperwares down against once wall where there was tape on the floor labeled **shelf** , "and all of the cardboard boxes can go against that wall."

"Hey," Monty said suddenly, furrowing his eyebrows, "weren't you going to bring in that paint stained table you have at your apartment? And those comfy chairs?"

"Fuck, yeah I was," Clarke remembered, groaning. "That explains why there's a big empty space here. I forgot the tape."

"I'll help you get it," Finn offered, hopping up and looking like a kicked puppy – clearly, he wanted Clarke to forgive him. As always, of course.

She let out a puff of air. "Okay, fine, let's go. Thanks guys, you are dismissed." She gave her friends a playful smile for the first time all afternoon, and they returned it eagerly and reminded her that beer would be available when she got back.

Clarke and Finn walked through the warehouse, and Finn scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Um, so I've been meaning to ask... because I know you like girls because there was that one girl a few months back with the... yeah, but... are you like bi, or like, full on lesbian? Because doesn't that make a difference with like – "

Clarke scoffed, interrupting him with a swift, "Shut up, Finn."

"Yeah, okay, I'll do that."

They exited the warehouse, and both she and Finn instantly noticed that the brunette was gone. Clarke frowned a little, surprised that she wasn't still waiting for her friend, and she briefly wondered if something else could've happened to her. She glanced around and quickly decided that she must've just made her friend hurry, which Clarke wouldn't have judged her for anyway.

Finn let out a quiet sigh, and Clarke felt herself soften. Despite Finn being a complete asshole most of the time, she loved him like she loved all of her friends. "By the way, Finn," she said, drawing his attention as they stopped by her car, "I don't know what I am. I really don't know that I care to know what I am. I just wanna do my art, you know?"

"You don't want to have sex at all?" Finn asked, raising his eyebrows.

Clarke huffed and shook her head. "No, of course I want to have sex. I just don't know that I care to figure out whether I'd rather have sex with guys or girls or whether I'd rather be in a relationship with guys or girls. Frankly, all people do stupid shit when they're in relationships anyway, as I've learned, and I'm not sure that I even want one anymore. Not that I owe that explanation to you at all, but... since you wanted to know."

Finn nodded. "Thanks, princess."

"Yeah, whatever," she muttered, turning around and unlocking her car, sliding into the driver's seat happily. Finn followed her movements on the passenger side, and she backed out of where she was parked, ready to make the trip back to her apartment to get her table and chairs for her art space.


	2. Chapter 2

"What the fuck was that place?" Anya demanded, narrowing her eyes at Lexa. Her expression was all judgmental, and Lexa already knew what to expect from her friend.

"A warehouse or workshop or something. A bunch of people own it I guess, and they have it split up into rooms for each of them," Lexa explained, shrugging.

"They live there?"

Lexa shook her head. "No, I think they just hang out there. I don't really know. I was with a guy."

Anya feigned a gag as she drove, and Lexa groaned at the judgment that was already oozing out of her best friend. "What guy? That place makes me think of homeless guys with potbellies."

Lexa scoffed. "Well he didn't look like that," she muttered. "He was alright. Kinda taller, but not like tall. And he had kinda long brown hair and dark eyes."

"Sounds like one of those fake dreamy guys," Anya commented, unreadable as she stared at the road and drove back into town.

"Looks like one too," Lexa admitted. "I met him at The Bean."

"Seriously? You hooked up with a guy you met at a coffee shop an hour ago?" Anya demanded, narrowing her eyes again. "What has gotten into you, Lexa? You need to focus on school. You're starting to remind me of those girls we used to hate two years ago. Didn't we promise each other that getting into college was the goal before everything else?"

Lexa groaned. "I'm bored, Anya. I'm doing fine in school, I'm going to college, period. I already got a scholarship to Polis University, and I haven't even officially applied yet. I'm just tired of doing the same thing all of the time. And Finn was nice... I mean, he was. Until his friend came and busted into the room while we were making out and then he started acting like an ass."

Anya flashed her a side glance. "What's that look?"

"What look?"

"The look that took over your face when you mentioned Finn's friend," Anya said, wiggling her eyebrows. "Was he hotter or something?"

"He was a she, actually," Lexa stated, crossing her arms. "She was interesting. Kind of terrifying actually."

"How old were these people, by the way?" Anya asked. Her eyebrows were raised in concern, and Lexa knew that she already knew the answer to the question.

"Um. I don't know for sure."

"So give me a range?"

"Between twenty and twenty-five?" Lexa answered, wincing preemptively and for good reason, because Anya let out a frustrated groan as soon as the brunette had answered.

"Are you serious? Lexa, seriously. This summer you've gotten me really nervous. And your mom is worried about you too, you know? She keeps texting me, asking if you're with me or not, because apparently you keep leaving in the middle of the day and not telling her where you're going. And you don't answer her texts often enough," Anya stated, as if Lexa didn't already know that she was doing these things.

"I go to the same places every day," Lexa huffed out, her eyes narrowed now. "I go either to The Bean, or down to the lake with Luna, or I'm with you at your place. And she should know that."

"Well, she doesn't, because you don't answer her damn text messages, Lexa!"

"Would you please just drive? I didn't call you for judgment!"

"No, you didn't, but you called me because you can't call your mom, because then you'd have to tell her that your intention for this lovely Saturday afternoon was to go get laid by someone who is already legally an adult while you are still a minor!" Anya exclaimed angrily.

"I'm almost eighteen!" Lexa growled, shooting her best friend a glare. "And don't act like you've never been interested in older boys."

"Interested, sure. But I've never gone and had sex with one," Anya snapped. "Look, Lexa. I get it, you're bored because it's summer vacation and you're used to the same old same old. But the same old is what's going to get you into college and going to get you a decent life. Not to mention, you sleeping with that guy could've ruined his life if anyone had found out and reported it. Think about what you're doing, would you?"

Lexa lowered her gaze. "Alright, fine. Whatever. Can you please just take me home?"

* * *

Lexa did her best to lay low for the next few days, staying at home mostly, until her mom finally started to act less concerned around her. It was those eyes that frustrated her the most – the questioning look that was full of nervousness and fear, like her mom thought that she might explode. Lexa wasn't so sure what gave off that impression. She hadn't changed too much, at least she didn't like to think that she had.

But she knew, at the same time, that she had indeed changed a bit. She was tired of being the boring person that she always was. She didn't mind being educated and the fact that she did enjoy school and wanted to go to college, but she didn't have to be boring and smart. She could at least be smart and interesting, right?

It was Wednesday afternoon when she finally felt able to leave her house again without setting her mom off like an alarm. She even bothered to shoot her mom a text to let her know that she'd be at The Bean.

But that wasn't where she went – in fact, she took her car rather than just walking from her neighborhood to the town center like she usually did. She lived pretty close to the middle of town, yes, but the more grungy area of town was her favorite. It was the area of town nearer to Polis University, which was actually a decent school despite its location. Actually, Polis was generally considered to be a university town because of it. While the school and its campus was quite nice, as well as the dorms on its campus from what Lexa had heard, its direct surroundings were much more rundown and small, like the rest of the town.

Lexa loved it, though, and as she passed some old apartment buildings and small shops, her attention was finally caught on a place that interested her. It was a sketchy looking hair styling place – definitely not as nice and pretty looking as the one in town. It made Lexa grin, and found herself pulling her car into one of the parking spaces in front of it and hopping out of her car with her wallet in hand.

A girl with probably about twenty piercings and a couple of tattoos up and down her arms looked at her in amusement as she entered. "You in the wrong place, sweetie?"

"No. I'd like streaks, please."

The girl shrugged, and extended her hand to the brunette. "Fifty bucks if it's a natural color, seventy if it's not."

Lexa procured a fifty and a twenty from her wallet, handing it over to the hair stylist, who then nodded toward one of the seats in the little building. Lexa sat down in it and stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't think she looked seventeen – she hoped that she looked older. She wondered if purple streaks would make her look younger or older.

"What color?" the hair stylist asked.

"Purple."

"You sure about this, kid? You don't have a rich mom or dad sitting around somewhere who's gonna come hunt me down for messing with her precious daughter's hair?"

Lexa shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'm sure about this."

"Whatever you say," the woman muttered, going into the back of the salon for a moment and returning with her supplies.

By the time Lexa left the place, with obvious purple strips streaking her hair, it was well into the evening. Around seven. She knew that she was hungry, but since she didn't want to spend the last of her allowance on a huge meal, considering that she'd just coughed up seventy dollars for a spontaneous hair change, she opted to go instead to The Bean. She drove directly there, rather than go home first and chance that her mom might be home. She'd rather wait at day or so before she let her mom catch a glimpse of her new hair. It might scare her less that way.

She walked into The Bean confidently and looked around the coffee shop. She caught sight of a lot of university kids, which was expected, as well a lot of high school kids chilling with their friends. She didn't see anyone she knew particularly well, so she decided that she'd sit by herself in the back table that she usually went to when she was by herself. First, though, she needed to order a drink.

She didn't usually come to The Bean at night, because coffee was generally more of a morning thing anyway, and so maybe that was why she'd never seen her here before. The blonde friend of Finn – Clarke – who apparently worked at the coffee shop that Lexa went to nearly every day.

"What can I get you?" Clarke asked, her blue eyes trained on the computer screen in front of her as she waited for an answer, rather than at the customer she'd be sure to recognize.

"Just a black coffee please," Lexa answered, wondering if Clarke would recognize her voice. The blonde did seem to, looking up with curiosity as she spoke.

"Well hello again."

"Hi," Lexa returned, wondering if Clarke would ask her what her name was. That's one of the things she'd been waiting for on Saturday, but it had never happened. She couldn't even remember if she'd told Finn her name.

"You have a name?" Clarke asked suddenly, before adding, "So I know who to call?"

"Uh," Lexa blinked, "Lexa."

"Alexa?" Clarke asked, looking confused, and Lexa realized her vocal mishap.

"No, sorry. Just Lexa."

Clarke smirked. "Well, Just Lexa, I'll get you your boring coffee."

"It's not boring," Lexa argued, narrowing her eyebrows.

"Mmhmm." Clarke hummed. She began making the coffee, and Lexa waited somewhat awkwardly with her cash in hand. A few moments later, Clarke had the coffee ready. "Dollar fifty," she said. Lexa nodded and handed her the cash and change in her hand.

"You didn't even have to call my name," Lexa commented, narrowing her eyes.

"Only because you got lucky and no one was in line behind you," Clarke justified, setting Lexa's receipt next to the drink.

Lexa rolled her eyes, taking both her coffee and receipt, and began to head off to her corner. She sat herself down at the back table and took a sip of her coffee, propping her legs up on the adjacent seat.

It was about fifteen minutes later when a wallet was suddenly being set down rather harshly in front of her, and Lexa jumped, taking a moment to realize that it was her wallet and that Clarke was setting it in front of her. "You left your wallet at the counter. Thought it was someone else's, but as I saw by the driver's license inside, it's yours." Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, wondering why Clarke sounded as harsh as she had on Saturday, when she was yelling at Finn. She found out only a moment later, when Clarke scoffed and asked, "You're seventeen? And you were going to sleep with Finn? What the fuck? Was there some manipulating or something I need to know about?"

Lexa was aware that she must've looked incredibly embarrassed for a moment, but she shook her head. "No, he didn't know."

"What?" Clarke demanded, her eyes wide. "You didn't tell him, who is obviously over eighteen, that you are a minor? And you were going to let him sleep with you?"

Lexa winced. "Um. Yeah."

Clarke was definitely not happy. "Look, Finn might be an asshole and I think he's an idiot for sleeping with so many randoms all the time – mostly because he really treats them all like trash, but I don't appreciate you not telling him that sleeping with you could've ended with him in jail. Got it?"

Lexa swallowed thickly. "Yeah, I've got it."

"Good."

Clarke turned and was back at the register in a moment, and Lexa let out a nervous breath that she hadn't realized she'd sucked in, let along been holding in. Clarke was actually pretty terrifying, and Lexa didn't really know how to react to it.

Mostly, though, she couldn't figure out why it made her cheeks warm and her entire body warm and aching for something that it totally shouldn't be.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke was sprawled across the floor of her space in the warehouse, trying for the life of her to put together the huge Ikea shelf she'd finally gotten. It had taken far too long to get a hold of it. She'd driven the hour drive to the nearest Ikea on Sunday with the intention of returning with her shelf, but the one she found on display, which was perfect, had been out of stock. She'd driven back up to it on Thursday, finally picking up the huge box and needing help from an employee to get it into the back of her car.

She hadn't had time to bring it back to the warehouse until today, Friday, because of work. Now, she was quite glad that she had no Friday classes, because it seemed that putting the shelf together was going to take a long ass time.

When she heard the shuffling of someone walking past her room, she stopped and dropped what she was doing, hopping to her feet. "Finn? That you?"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm alone, don't worry," he called, his voice getting quieter as he made his way back to his shop. Clarke hurried out of her space and headed toward his.

"Wait up, Finn, I need to talk to you." Finn didn't stop, though, so Clarke finally caught him once he'd entered his area.

Finn coughed awkwardly. "The middle school in town is putting on a play and they need sets built, so I've gotta get my stuff and head over there. What's up?"

"Speaking of underage people," Clarke muttered, furrowing her eyebrows, "were you aware that the girl you almost slept with on Friday, Lexa, is seventeen?"

Finn's eyes widened. "What? Seriously? No, I had no idea, I thought she was at least eighteen..."

"You thought wrong, and you need to start asking girls that if there's a chance you might get arrested for hooking up with them," Clarke chided, crossing her arms.

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"She left her wallet at the counter at The Bean on Wednesday. I peeked," Clarke admitted, dropping her hands to her sides now.

"Didn't she know that I'm over eighteen?"

Clarke nodded. "She knew, but you're the one who would be held responsible either way if something had happened and someone had found out. So just... next time you're about to hook up with someone who are aren't sure is in college, could you just ask them? None of us want you to end up in jail, even though you are kind of a prick."

"Gee, thanks," Finn said, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, sure, I won't get arrested. Anyway, I gotta get to work if I'm gonna finish the sets today and tomorrow. They need them done by Monday, when school starts for them."

"They're lucky you're fast and cheap then," Clarke stated, snickering. "See you later." She turned and quickly made her way back to her room. She set back up next to the shelf, or rather the pieces of it that were strewn about.

She was finally starting to get a feel for how it was supposed to be put together when Octavia suddenly popped her head into the room. "You know whose Mercedes is outside?"

"None of us own a Mercedes," Clarke said, raising her eyebrows at her friend.

"Precisely why I'm asking." Octavia looked pointedly at the blonde and asked, "You gonna go out or should I?"

"I'll go," Clarke muttered, setting down the screwdriver she'd been using and getting up. Brushing her hands off on her pants, she left the room and headed back toward the entrance of the warehouse. After her space was set up, she wanted to start making the entrance at least look sort of nice. It was currently the most abandoned looking part of the whole thing. On the bright side, she supposed that it might make the rest of the warehouse seem pretty damn impressive.

The Mercedes that was parked a few feet from her car made her eyebrows knit together in confusion. She didn't recognize the car at all, or the license plate, and as she got closer, she realized that she couldn't see through the tinted window either. Letting out a frustrated breath, she went up to the driver's window and tapped on it.

As it rolled down, her eyes widened as she saw Lexa. "Can I help you?" Clarke asked, somewhat harshly, and she noticed that Lexa hardly flinched.

"I came to apologize –"

Clarke let out a groan, turning around and starting back toward the entrance of the warehouse. She heard the door of the car open and then close, and feet tracking through the dirt clearing behind her.

"Not to you, but to Finn! Since I'm assuming you told him that I'm..."

"Seventeen?"

"Yeah."

"Cool, well," Clarke started, walking into the warehouse and not expecting the brunette to follow her, "he's not here. Left about fifteen minutes ago. Looks like you're out of luck." As she made her way into and through Octavia's space, she became aware of the sound of feet following her, padding across the concrete, and Clarke stopped spinning around. "Did you hear me when I said that he's not here?"

"Yes."

"So what are you still doing here?"

"Why are you so mad at me?" Lexa demanded, crossing her arms. "I didn't do anything to you, and I didn't even have sex with Finn."

"Because I happened to stop it from happening," Clarke huffed. "Also, I don't know you, and you don't know me, and I'm really just trying to figure out why you're in my warehouse."

"Our warehouse," Octavia corrected, from where she was apparently seated at her desk across the room. "And what's this about Finn? Oh, you're the girl from Saturday. Nice hair."

"She's the seventeen year old girl from Saturday," Clarke corrected, crossing her arms.

Octavia smirked. "Wow, nice. You fooled Finn, that's pretty funny actually."

"Octavia!"

Lexa just glanced between the two of them, and then she took a step back. "Fine, I'll leave." Clarke watched as she walked back through Octavia's area and through the entrance, right out the front door. She didn't move or say anything until she heard the Mercedes start up and drive away.

"So that's weird," Octavia stated, breaking the silence.

"She came into The Bean on Wednesday and I saw her ID with her age," Clarke muttered, shaking her head. "And it's not funny, O. Finn could've been arrested if they'd had sex."

"Well they didn't, so just forget about it, Clarke," Octavia pressed. "It's not worth it to stress. Now, do you want help with your shelf over there?"

"You're not busy?"

"Nah."

"That would be much appreciated then."

* * *

"So, where you been all day?" Anya asked, looking up from her book to where Lexa was sprawled across her bed, staring at the ceiling. "And when the fuck did you dye your hair?"

"Wednesday," Lexa answered, sighing. "You like?"

"Looks fine, I guess. What did your mom think?"

"I've been avoiding her," Lexa admitted, her eyes flickering closed. "So she hasn't seen it yet."

"Wait, have you not gone home?"

"No, I have," Lexa insisted, shaking her head. "I just run straight up to my room and leave really early in the morning, and I only eat while she's gone or asleep."

"That's a lot of effort to hide some purple hair," Anya said slowly, and Lexa glanced curiously over at her. "Unless you're doing something else you don't want your mom to know about... like sleeping with overage guys?"

"I haven't slept with any overage guys, thank you very much," Lexa snapped, sitting up and leaning against the headboard of the bed.

"So how come I saw your car driving back from that sketchy warehouse again?"

Lexa crossed her arms over her chest. "Yesterday? I went to apologize to them, because the friend of that guy I almost slept with found out that I'm seventeen and she got pissed."

"Rightly so."

"Can't you give me a break, Anya?"

"Whatever."

Lexa sighed, looking back up at the ceiling. "I only went back yesterday, anyway."

"Alright, I thought you wanted to drop it?"

Lexa went silent again, her gaze dropping down onto her best friend. "Okay, well, I'm going to The Bean."

"It's like nine at night, Lexa," Anya objected instantly, her words sharp as Lexa got off of the bed and grabbed her phone. "Lexa!"

"See you at school on Monday," Lexa muttered, shoving her phone into her pocket and checking that her wallet was in the other as she exited Anya's room. Anya's parents were out, so no one was there to question her scowl as she stormed out of the house. It was only two streets down from Lexa's, but she turned the direction that would bring her to The Bean. She didn't really care that it was probably too late for coffee.

Lexa was relieved to see that Clarke wasn't working that night when she walked into The Bean. Some other college age girl was, and she gave Lexa her black coffee without a word, with an additional little muffin that the brunette had decided to get as well. She settled into the corner of the shop, aware that it would be closing at ten, and nibbled on the muffin in between sips of her coffee. She didn't go on her phone, rather she stared at a spot on the wall and tried to clear her mind. There were only two other people sitting down, both at one table together and talking quietly. Lexa was glad that she didn't recognize them.

When the door to the coffee shop opened, Lexa's gaze involuntarily drifted over to the woman who had just entered. Immediately, she identified the woman as Clarke. She wasn't wearing her work outfit, though, and Lexa confirmed that she was here only to buy a drink as she greeted the barista quietly and produced her wallet from her back pocket.

Lexa watched her, aware that her heart rate was slightly increased. She couldn't explain why the girl triggered that reaction in her. No boy had ever done that to her just by her looking at them. Biting down on her lower lip, she did her best to look away from the blonde. Her gaze drifted back with every attempt.

When Clarke received her coffee and turned around, blue eyes settled on Lexa. The younger girl's eyes widened and she glanced down at her coffee, hoping that Clarke would ignore her and leave. She got no such luck, though, as a shadow was soon looming over her.

But when she looked up at Clarke, the girl didn't appear so threatening. "You like coming to get coffee late at night or something?"

"I'm avoiding someone," Lexa admitted, watching carefully as Clarke seated herself across from Lexa at the little table. "How about you? I thought you worked nights?"

"You've seen me here once."

"And it was the first time I'd ever come here at night."

Clarke hummed quietly. "I have a late night tonight. I'm finishing my workshop, in the warehouse. Octavia tried to help me yesterday, but we only finished half of the shit that needed to be done. And I got too held up today to actually get any of it done."

"Oh."

"Are you out of high school?"

"No," Lexa answered quietly, though she knew that Clarke probably already figured as much. Few people in town graduated when they were seventeen. "I start my senior year on Monday."

"Exciting," Clarke said sarcastically, sipping her coffee as Lexa watched her intently. "You stare a lot, did you know that?"

"Yes."

Clarke smirked, and Lexa felt her body relax a little as the blonde showed a sign that she wasn't royally pissed off.

"I'm sorry for coming to the warehouse yesterday," Lexa said quietly, looking down at her now half empty cup of coffee. "It was stupid."

"It's whatever."

"What... what's it for?" Lexa's green eyes were looking up again, at Clarke's suddenly slightly happier expression.

"It's for... us, me and my friends. It's a place for us. We each get a room," Clarke explained. "Mine's for my art."

"That's cool."

"Yeah, except we've had the place for a month and I only just got any of it set up this week. I'm too damn nice to my fucking friends," Clarke muttered, taking down a long gulp of her coffee.

Lexa's eyes flashed between Clarke's, and her heart pounded as she debated whether or not to ask the question that was bubbling up inside of her. Before she could decide, her body was forcing it out anyway. "Do you need any help? I mean... do you want any?"

Clarke looked surprised, and also extremely confused and unsure. Her eyes widened, and then narrowed, and Lexa felt like she was suspicious of Lexa. "Why do you want to help me?"

"I told you. I'm avoiding someone. Plus, unlike you about me, I don't hate you."

The blonde smirked a little. "I don't hate you. I met you literally a week ago."

"They say it takes twenty additional interactions to reverse a first impression," Lexa commented, her lips turning up into a smirk of her own.

"Then maybe I just don't hate you a lot," Clarke stated, sounding amused. She took a drink from her coffee cup and then nodded toward Lexa. "Nice hair, by the way. Doesn't really fit you, though."

Lexa narrowed her eyes. "You don't know me."

"You're a good girl," Clarke stated, and Lexa reeled back slightly at the abruptness of the statement. "You're going through a rebellious phase."

"No, I'm not," Lexa denied immediately, her voice dropping as she practically growled.

"You're a good girl," Clarke repeated. Amusement was evident in her expression, and Lexa realized that she was enjoying getting a rise out of the brunette. Setting her jaw, Lexa allowed only her eyes to follow Clarke's movements. The blonde ran a hand through her hair as she turned and started for the exit of The Bean. Lexa finally turned her head to watch her leave, but then Clarke looked over her shoulder. "You coming, cutie?"

Lexa flushed, hopping up from her seat and following Clarke. "Don't call me that." Clarke glanced at her again, looking slightly surprised.

"Alright."

"What'd you look at me like that for?"

"I'm sure whatever Finn called you to get you to follow him into a creepy warehouse was way worse than cutie, so I'm just wondering why on earth someone as smart as you almost slept with him." Lexa didn't know what to say, and her jaw just dropped a little as she realized that Clarke had basically been trying to analyze her this whole time. "Must be the rebellious phase thing."

"I'm not –"

Clarke's laughter cut Lexa's words off, and the brunette found herself suddenly amazed at the sound. Entranced. "Relax, Lexa. You're going to have to be a little calmer if I'm going to let you help me set up my art room without you breaking some shit or something."

Lexa pursed her lips, fighting a smile that suddenly wanted to force its way onto her face. She found herself following Clarke to the car that she recognized as hers, and she forced herself to remain calm as she climbed into its passenger seat.


	4. Chapter 4

"It looks different at night," Lexa said, and Clarke flashed her an amused look as she parked her car in the same, usual spot in the dirt clearing in front of the warehouse. "Kinda scarier."

"I promise there aren't any monsters," Clarke teased, opening the driver's side door and getting out of the car. She heard Lexa scrambling to do the same on the other side of the car, and as she started up toward the warehouse, the brunette hurried to catch up to her.

"So... you guys just bought this place?"

Clarke shrugged. "Yeah. Took forever to figure out who actually owned it before, though. The place was empty and almost run down when we found it. Finn and Bellamy had to rebuild part of the roof before we could actually start setting up rooms."

"Well it's come a long way," Lexa commented quietly. Clarke led Lexa through the nearly pitch black warehouse carefully, through Octavia's area, down a hallway past Raven's, around a corner and finally to hers. She felt along the wall by the entrance and found the large light switch, turning it. Harsh, bright lights came on above them, and through the hallway they'd just come from.

"The windows," Clarke said, nodding across the room, "usually let in enough light to make the lights kind of unnecessary. A couple of the rooms don't even have lights."

"Definitely seems pretty rundown," Lexa murmured.

Clarke hummed in agreement. "So, you know how to put Ikea furniture together?"

"Um, can't say I've ever had to before," Lexa answered, and Clarke wasn't surprised. She felt Lexa's eyes on her as she went and sat amongst the remaining pieces of her shelf. They were the cube sort of shelves, and she and Octavia had managed to build half of the total thing.

"Alright, well. The idea is, we make four of these four cubicle shelf things, and then they all get connected and make a bigger square... if that makes sense?"

Lexa chuckled, and Clarke looked over her shoulder curiously at the brunette. "Don't you have friends who actually know how to build things that could help you with this? Because you seem to have no idea what you're doing."

"Yeah, but we're busy people," Clarke answered, rolling her eyes. "You gonna help or not?"

They were quiet during the half hour that they spent each constructing another fourth of the huge shelf. Clarke wasn't sure how she felt about Lexa. The girl was clearly going through a rebellious stage – Clarke herself had done that when she was in high school, and it had involved her hair becoming an unnaturally bright shade of pink – but she wasn't as annoying and insufferable as Clarke figured that she should be.

Not to mention, despite Clarke's initial frustration toward the brunette after finding out that she'd intentionally not told Finn that she was underage, Lexa seemed actually like a relatively honest and decent person.

Either way, Clarke could understand Finn's initial attraction to the younger girl. She was pretty, pretty charming, and surprisingly intriguing.

When they'd finished the other two fourths, Clarke let out a pleased exhale. "Okay, well, my upper body strength fucking sucks, so I might have to wait and get Bellamy or Finn to help me stack these tomorrow."

Lexa shrugged. "I bet we could do it."

"You a secret body builder or something?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but there are two of us," Lexa stated, tilting her head. "Might as well try, right?"

"Don't drop it on me," Clarke muttered in resignation. She quickly positioned the bottom half of the shelves correctly against the wall, and then she and Lexa both lifted and stacked the second half on top of it. It required a bit of struggling, but they managed to do it successfully. It left Clarke slightly winded, though. She knew that she should probably exercise more, but the fact was that she hardly had enough time.

Lexa grinned at Clarke when the shelf was fully constructed. "Told you."

"Whatever," Clarke muttered, scoffing. She moved over to where her cardboard boxes were stacked, and heard Lexa pull one of the chairs out from under the paint covered table sitting in the room. Clarke didn't bother to glance over at her, but when she did turn around with a box in hand, she saw the brunette seated happily in the seat and looking around the room.

"You didn't wanna paint the room first? I mean, you're an artist, right?"

Clarke shrugged. "Kinda just want to cover the walls with my art, you know? That way I don't have to paint it all, but it will still be decorated. Plus, I'm the worst at choosing colors for walls, because I change my mind about what I want it to be like every day. Better I just hang things up."

Lexa hummed in response, but said nothing as Clarke set down the box and began to go through it. They were like that for a few minutes, completely silent as Clarke began filling up her shelves with all of her art supplies. It was weird, how calm the atmosphere was between them, despite having only met a week ago and not really knowing each other at all. Not to mention, they were incredibly different people.

"Did you go to high school here?" Lexa asked suddenly, and Clarke glanced over her shoulder at the girl.

"Yeah," she answered, standing and making her way over to the rest of the boxes to get another of them. "But I didn't grow up here. Moved in my sophomore year of high school. Can't say it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Oh. I've lived here forever," Lexa admitted.

"But not on the university side of town?"

Lexa shrugged. "The whole town is overridden by university students and faculty. I'm pretty sure all of Polis is the university side of town. Anyway, Ido live across town from the university, but my mom is an English professor there."

"Mm, well that explains it," Clarke murmured, smirking a little as she felt the air fill slightly with tension.

"Explains what?"

"Nothing."

"Clarke."

Clarke wasn't sure if it was the first time she'd heard Lexa say her name or not – she was pretty sure that it was – but whether or not, Clarke was not expecting it to sound so... intense. She involuntarily sucked in a breath as she heard it, but she quickly covered up her reaction by snickering a little. Deciding that she would try to figure herself out later, she relented and said, "It explains the whole rebellious thing."

Lexa let out a a frustrated puff of air. "Could you stop pretending like you know everything about me, please?"

"Mm, sure, whatever," Clarke agreed, still smirking. "So you just gonna sit there, or actually help me with this?"

* * *

It was nearing eleven at night when Lexa's phone started ringing. She and Clarke actually hadn't spoken very much at all after Lexa had started helping her fill up her new shelves with all of the strange art tools and supplies. Some of them the brunette recognized, of course, but she felt like the blonde must definitely be in school for art based on all of the funky looking tools she owned.

Lexa glanced at the caller ID on her phone and immediately frowned. It was Anya. She had maybe expected a call from her mom, but she had assumed that her best friend would've just given her some space after earlier. She answered it anyway, however. "Hey," she said carefully.

"Hey, Lexa, where are you? I wanted to apologize for earlier – because you really don't deserve me judging you or anything. I just... feel like you're making some bad decisions and I think you'll regret them later. But I'll stop giving you shit for them, since it's obviously getting to you. Anyway, since The Bean's closed, I went by your house and your mom let me in. I'm assuming that she thinks you're here or something, but you are mostly definitely not."

Lexa glanced up at the ceiling nervously. "Yeah, I'm with Luna."

"Where?"

"The lake." Lexa could feel Clarke's curious gaze now settled on her, but she avoiding meeting it at all costs.

"Is there a bonfire or something?"

"Ah, no, she just called about an hour ago and, well, you know Luna. I should probably be heading home, though. I'll be back soon."

Anya coughed awkwardly. "You have a ride, right? Like... has Luna been drinking? I mean, I saw your car here so she picked you up, right?"

"Yeah no, I'll be fine," Lexa insisted. "See you soon." Hanging up the phone quickly, Lexa let out a relieved exhale.

Clarke chuckled. "Who was that?"

"My best friend," Lexa answered, stepping away from the shelf and Clarke and stretching her arms out to her side. "I should... um, get going."

"So you said."

"I... kind of need a ride." Clarke smirked, clearly having not forgotten that she'd driven Lexa from The Bean. "You don't... have to take me all the way to my place. I can walk from The Bean just fine."

"Alright, I guess it's the least I could do anyway, considering that you helped me set up all of this," Clarke agreed, softening a little. "I should probably give myself a break, too. Thanks for the help."

"No problem," Lexa returned, wondering slightly why Clarke hadn't questioned her lying to Anya about where she was. It occurred to her, though, that it was pretty sketchy what she was actually doing. Hanging out with a random twenty-one year old at a creepy warehouse that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, even though it was decently close to town.

Lexa silently followed Clarke through and out of the warehouse, after the blonde had shut off the lights. It was even harder to get through the blackness of the building at that point, but they'd both switched on their phone flashlights in order to do so. It was very dark outside as well, but Lexa found herself not so crept out by the place anymore.

She found herself seated in the passenger seat of Clarke's car again, and feeling slightly disappointed by the fact that she was having to go home when she could be helping Clarke still with her room. When Clarke's car stopped in front of The Bean, Lexa found herself having to suppress a sigh.

The blonde looked at her with an intrigued look in her eye, and Lexa gave her a somewhat bashful smile. "Thanks. I guess... I'll see you... sometime?"

"I guess," Clarke replied, a small smile forming on her face. "You better get home before your bestie realizes you lied to her."

Lexa flushed at the mention of her lie, but she was glad that it didn't come with an interrogation of any sort. "Yeah. Bye, Clarke."

"Bye," Clarke returned as Lexa opened the passenger door and climbed out of the car. She gave the blonde a sheepish smile and then started off along the sidewalk toward her neighborhood. Clarke's car started off a moment later, and Lexa let out a breath, feeling some tension drain from her body now that the blonde was gone.

She wasn't an idiot – she knew what she was feeling for Clarke. It was she should've been feeling for all of these years about boys – at least by society's standards, and her family's and friends' standards. It's what she pretended to feel when she'd dated that one guy the year before, and what she'd promised herself she felt when she let him take her virginity. It's what she tried again to feel when Finn approached her, and the thought that it would be the perfect way to get out of her comfort zone had crossed her mind.

But no, none of those times had she actually felt it. But Clarke was something else, and Lexa wanted to figure her out, no matter what.

So as she walked home, her hands shoved into her pockets and a small smile playing on her face, she planned out the next time she would be able to slip away from her life once school started and make it somehow to the warehouse. And, of course, how she would somehow get Clarke to not see her as some rebellious teenager.

Maybe that's what she was, essentially, but what she was feeling for Clarke went far beyond that, she was already sure of that.


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh hey," Bellamy said, causing Clarke to look up and notice his surprised expression. "When did you finish all this?"

"Last night," Clarke answered, feeling a little bit of heat creeping up to her cheeks. She wouldn't admit that Lexa had been here with her, even though that name wouldn't mean anything to Bellamy. She felt somewhat bad that she'd let the girl that Finn almost slept with – against Clarke's no date policy – come into the warehouse again and actually do stuff. "I had some time, so I stayed up a while and finished."

"Looks good," Bellamy commented. He nodded in approval as he looked at the well organized room. It was Sunday afternoon, and Clarke had just brought over all of her completed paintings and drawings. They were currently stacked on the table, and Clarke had every intention of hanging them up as soon as she needed a break from the painting she was currently working on. As she spoke to Bellamy, she was standing poised like any artist, her paintbrush in hand and with stray paint surely covering parts of her face and clothes. "And you're clearly already comfortable with this place."

Clarke grinned, nodding. "Yeah, I quite like it. Did you need something, by the way?"

"Oh, yeah," Bellamy recalled. "Actually I wanted to know if you wanted to take a break and have a beer? Raven and Jasper are in my room right now, and we're chilling."

Clarke nodded, despite herself, and dropped her paintbrush into her water bucket. "Yeah, sure." As she stepped away from the easel, she smiled at the start of her next piece. She'd gotten into abstract paintings lately, so she wasn't quite sure what was going to happen with it, but she was sure she'd figure it out at some point during the process.

She followed Bellamy through the warehouse to his room. It was set up like a lounge, and no one had really been surprised when he picked this setup. There was a flat screen TV against one wall, with a relatively large couch facing it, and a mini fridge in the corner. "Clarke!" Raven exclaimed, a wide grin on her face. "Happy Sunday!"

Clarke smirked, dropping onto the couch next to her brunette friend as Bellamy grabbed her a beer. "When do your classes start again, Rae? You've been entirely too happy recently."

"Ugh, a week after tomorrow," Raven answered, sighing. "But you know, I can't say that I wish I was like you, taking classes all fucking year round."

"At least I'm graduating in November."

"With a half degree."

Clarke scoffed, graciously accepting the beer that was being handed to her. "An associates degree is not half of a degree."

Jasper laughed and shrugged. "It kinda is, I mean, it takes half of the time to get it as it does to get a bachelor's degree."

"Shut up," Clarke huffed in annoyance, her lips falling into a pout. "I'll get my half degree if I want to, and I don't need you asses judging me."

Bellamy grinned. "You guys got her to lighten up, wow, I'm impressed."

"I'm not rigid, Bell," Clarke snapped, taking a swig of her beer. "I'm loads of fun."

"Clarke, in our little band of misfits, you are most definitely the most responsible and well... yeah, you could stand to loosen up every now and then," Raven admitted, shrugging.

Jasper nodded. "Finn says it's because you haven't gotten laid since that hot chick you dated a few months back."

"Finn's an asshole," Clarke snapped, taking a drink of her beer in order to partially hide the scowl appearing on her face.

"An asshole who's right," Raven argued, her eyebrows raised. "There's no way that you somehow have secretly been getting yourself laid since then. You have gotten way more boring since then."

"You should at least give yourself some self love," Jasper stated insistently, and Bellamy snorted with laughter as Clarke's face flushed dark red. "Maybe then you wouldn't get all worked up at the mention of sex."

"You guys are assholes," Clarke muttered, sipping her beer again dejectedly.

Raven patted her on the shoulder, stifling her laughs. "It's okay, Clarke, we understand. Maybe take a night off and go back to your apartment..."

"Run a warm shower..."

"You guys are going to make her explode," Bellamy said, and they all laughed as Clarke rolled her eyes, aware that her face must be very bright red. She took practically chugged down the last of her beer, and then stood up.

"You know," she said thoughtfully, only slightly sarcastic, tossing the bottle into the trashcan Bellamy had sitting by the door, "I think might actually do that. See you guys tomorrow."

She heard Jasper whistle as she exited the room, and she smirked and shook her head as she headed back to her own room. Her friends were ridiculous.

But maybe they were right.

* * *

"I'm already tired of this," Lexa huffed out in annoyance, glancing at her best friend as they entered their high school. The school wasn't bad by any means, and it actually offered quite a few advanced courses and a lot of opportunities to take classes at Polis University. However, since Lexa's mother worked at the university, she'd more than once turned down the opportunity to do so. Instead, she was ending her high school career by taking almost every advanced course available to her, and she could already tell that she was going to breeze through it.

"It's only the second day of school, Lexa," Anya reminded her, scoffing. "You used to like school."

"I don't mind the classes. I just mind the time it takes up, and the fact that I'm going to breeze through it at the pace they're going to be going."

"Yeah yeah, we get it, Lex. You're a genius."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Your GPA is higher than mine, you weirdo. You're the one who's going to finish as valedictorian."

"Yeah, and not by seeing school as just a waste of time and assuming that I'm going to be amazing at all of my new classes this year," Anya snapped, looking pointedly at the brunette. "You need a reality check."

"No, I don't," Lexa argued, furrowing her eyebrows. "I'll see you later."

"Hope so."

Lexa split off from her friend's path, and started toward her first period, a frown stuck on her face. She felt ready to be out of high school – ready for college. Weren't colleges just judging her off of what her previous schooling had been like, anyway? She wanted to relax this year – especially now, considering where her thoughts had been for all of the previous day and where they would be for all of today.

She couldn't stop thinking about Saturday night. About the college aged blonde who kept causing Lexa's insides to twist and turn through different emotions. On one hand, Lexa found herself somewhat intimidated by her, but also entranced. She was also intensely aware of the gravity of her feelings – it was confirming thing that had once or twice popped up into her thoughts. She was definitely having feelings for Clarke, and she was nearly sure by now that she wasn't straight. She'd first considered that possibility after she lost her virginity, when she realized how not into it she'd been. Never before, however, had she met someone who actually made her feel like she could be interested in girls that way instead.

She was captivated by Clarke – she was confident and funny and insanely attractive.

Lexa blinked, realizing that she was already seated in her first period, and class had just started. Yes, her thoughts would be very displaced today. Once she let herself accept this, she fell into her new daily routine.

When school finally let out, Lexa rushed to her car in relief. She buckled herself in and drove out of the school, unsure of where exactly she was going until she pulled up to The Bean. Coffee after school wasn't her usual, and it took her only a second to realize that really what she was here for was to see whether or not Clarke was working. What she would say when she saw the blonde, she wasn't sure, but at least she could make up some lie about being tired and needing coffee if Clarke was indeed working.

Upon entering the place, Lexa let out a disappointed sigh when she saw no familiar blonde. Put off, she found herself in line anyway and ordered her usual, plain, black coffee. When was back in her car a few moments later, she hadn't made a decision on what to do for the rest of the day when she started driving. Apparently, though, her subconscious had.

She was suddenly driving on the bumpy road that would take her a bit out of town, and directly to a certain not so abandoned warehouse. She considered turning back the whole time she drove closer to it, but finally she arrived and gave up on fighting with herself.

Clarke's car wasn't there, she recognized immediately, and was about to abort this ridiculous mission when there was suddenly a tap on her passenger car window. Brown eyes peered into her car – ones that she recognized – and she realized that there was probably something that could at least be accomplished while she was here.

Lexa took in a deep breath and opened her door, closing it only when she was standing on the dirt and looked over her car at Finn. Of course she would run into him when she was here to see Clarke, like she'd run into Clarke when she'd been there to see Finn.

"What are you doing here?"

Lexa took in a deep breath. "I have to apologize to you, Finn. I... shouldn't have not told you that I'm underage."

"Yeah, you're right," Finn agreed, "but it's fine. I'm not sure how much Clarke grilled you about it, but I'm just thankful that it didn't happen. You don't have to apologize."

Coughing awkwardly, Lexa nodded. "Ah, sorry for just... showing up here. I should... probably just go."

"Wait, is that all you came here for?" Finn asked, looking confused now. "You seem like there's something else."

Lexa swallowed thickly. "Ah, I was just looking for..." Before she said it, she realized how stupid it felt to say that she was looking for Clarke.

"Looking for what?" Finn pressed her, raising his eyebrows.

She was already shaking her head. "Nothing. No, I should, um, go."

Still looking confused, Finn shrugged. "Well alright, whatever. Thanks for the apology, I appreciate it." Lexa nodded, but before she could move to get back in her car, a loud honk was heard from behind it, causing the brunette to jump as her eyes widened. She turned her head and saw Clarke's car, the blonde seated in the driver's seat with a puzzled look on her face, topped with annoyance. It took Lexa a second to realize that her car was in the middle of the entrance to the warehouse – she hadn't gone to park it completely before Finn had tapped on her window.

"Oh, shit," Lexa murmured, opening her car door and climbing in. She had to pull further into the area in front of the warehouse in order to let Clarke in before she could turn around and leave herself, but by the time she was about to pull out of where she'd temporarily just parked her car, Clarke was knocking on her window. Lexa swallowed thickly, opening the door and climbing out again.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke asked, sounding more confused and curious than angry, which Lexa took as a good sign.

"I, uh..." She blinked, her gaze flashing over to Finn, who was giving the two of them a puzzled look as he disappeared into the warehouse. Once she was gone, she relaxed slightly. "Um. I wanted to make sure that you... got to finish your art room, and everything."

Clarke didn't look like she bought it, because a smirk suddenly appeared on her face. "Oh really?"

Lexa nodded, too terrified that her voice would fail her should she try to use it.

"Well, since you ask, I actually have two last boxes of shit to lug into the place. They're in my car. Wanna make yourself useful?" Clarke's blue eyes were bright, and Lexa found that the smile that made her way to her face didn't make her feel self conscious.

"Yeah, sure."

Clarke turned around, walking over to her car with Lexa on her heel. She opened the back doors of the trunk, revealing two boxes that needed to be carried in. Clarke grabbed one of them, and Lexa took the second, following the blonde into the warehouse without a word after she closed the back doors.

When they walked into the warehouse, Lexa was hardly surprised that there were multiple people around. They passed one of the girls that Lexa didn't know the name of, but the girl's eyebrows shot up. "Hey, what the fuck, isn't that Finn's girl from two Saturdays ago?"

Lexa scoffed, and Clarke shouted, "Shut the fuck up, Raven."

"Hey, I'm genuinely asking! They all blur in my mind!"

"Ignore her, she's awful," Clarke said, rolling her eyes as they reached her art room. Lexa said nothing as she mimicked Clarke's movements and set the box on the table in her room. "Thanks. That's the last of everything from my apartment that needed to be here. I forgot it somehow last time."

"No problem," Lexa said, shy all of the sudden.

A male voice suddenly interrupted them, and Clarke and Lexa both looked to the entrance to her room as he asked, "Hey Clarke, do you – oh. Hi. Aren't you –"

"Lexa," the brunette interrupted quickly, not wanting to be referred to once again as Finn's girl. The phrase not only made her feel queasy, but it was in no way true, and it never would be.

The guy nodded slowly, still looking confused. "Right..."

"You need something, Jasper?"

Jasper scowled. "Bell put a padlock on his fucking fridge. You know the code?"

"No, but I have an idea," Clarke said, widening her eyes slightly as if for dramatic effect.

"What?"

"Stay the fuck out of his beer?" Clarke finished, rolling her eyes. Lexa smirked a little, ducking her head in order to not draw attention to herself.

Jasper let out an annoyed puff of air. "Like we told you Sunday, you are no fun."

"Ooh, Jasper!" Raven suddenly called out from somewhere. "O just got here! She might know the pass code!" Jasper's eyes suddenly lit up and he disappeared, leaving Clarke chuckling and shaking her head.

"Your friends are weird," Lexa commented, leaning against the table as she watched Clarke open up one of the boxes.

"Mm, yeah," Clarke agreed, grabbing some things out of the box and bringing them to her shelf. So as to not stare at inappropriate places, Lexa averted her gaze and instead began to look at the walls. She realized with a start that they were covered in artwork, and her jaw dropped.

"Holy shit, did you do all of that?"

She felt blue eyes land on her green ones, before following her gaze to the wall. "Oh, the art. Yeah. Some of it is old, though."

"It's amazing," Lexa admitted, letting out a long breath as she scanned the walls. "You're really good. I don't really know if I expected anything else, considering how much stuff you have for all of your art."

"Yeah, I've been collecting art supplies over the years. I could probably do any sort of art or craft that anyone needed with just the stuff in this shelf," Clarke joked, chuckling. "Though as you can see, I prefer painting."

"You're really good at it," Lexa insisted.

The laugh that Clarke let out was enough for Lexa to snap out of her gaze, her green eyes shifting back over to look at the stunning blonde. "Thanks. You didn't think that I was planning to sit up here for hours just to paint shit, did you?"

Lexa couldn't help but smile. "I guess not."

"Clarke," Finn's voice said suddenly, and the guy was suddenly coming into the room, freezing and looking between the two of them weirdly. "Oh, sorry. I thought Lexa left."

"I was about to," Lexa said quickly. "Clarke needed help with a box. But I have... stuff to do, so I'll go."

Clarke's gaze lingered on Lexa for a moment, before it moved over to Finn. "Yeah." She glanced back at the younger girl. "Bye."

"Bye," Lexa returned, quickly slipping past Finn and hurrying out of the warehouse before anything other awkward encounters could occur.

* * *

"You and her getting close, or something?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean? I've run into her a couple of times at The Bean, which was how I found out she's seventeen originally anyway, like I told you."

"Yeah, but isn't there a rule here about no dates?"

"Last I checked, she and I aren't dating, having sex, or any of those things," Clarke stated, narrowing her eyes.

Finn scoffed. "Yeah, but I almost did."

"And that's over, right?" Clarke quirked up an eyebrow, and Finn nodded. "So she's allowed to be in here – if there's a reason. And she was helping me move a box."

"Because there weren't enough people to do that already?"

"Could you chill out, Finn?" Clarke asked, her eyebrows shooting up at his biting remark. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me is that you've got this little twinkle in your eye, which makes me think that she's been here before. And it makes me think that you think she's a little more than just some girl I almost slept with, which definitely makes me think that you should rethink whether or not there's a possibility of you two hooking up," Finn stated.

Clarke's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"Your face doesn't ever look that nice and soft when you look at anyone, what's so different about her?"

"My face wasn't nice and soft."

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Uh, what are you two fighting about?" Octavia asked suddenly, raising her eyebrows as she appeared behind Finn. "And what was the purple haired girl doing here again?"

"What do you mean again?" Finn asked immediately.

Clarke scoffed. "She came by last Friday to apologize to you, but you weren't here."

"Wait, is that what she was doing here now?" Octavia asked, confused.

Finn shook her head. "Ask Clarke. Because Lexa had already apologized to me whenever Clarke showed up, but she somehow stuck around."

"Nothing is going on with me and Lexa!" Clarke growled. "She's seventeen!"

"Both of you," Raven said suddenly, appearing as well, "shut up. This place echos, you know? If you're gonna fight like kids, go to Finn's room at least since he's got that door."

Clarke narrowed her eyebrows. "Don't worry, I just needed to drop off these boxes anyway. I'll see you guys... sometime." She pushed past Finn, and Octavia and Raven stepped out of her way.

By the time she stepped out of the warehouse, Lexa and her car were nowhere to be seen.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, sweetie, how was school?" Lexa froze, realizing that her mom had caught her before she could make it upstairs. She had forgotten that her mom's summer classes had just ended, and that she wouldn't be teaching anymore until the following Monday. "And when did you dye your hair like that?"

Lexa coughed awkwardly. "Um. Last week."

"Have you been hiding from me all this time?" her mom asked, crossing her arms over her chest as Lexa sighed and shrugged off her bag, dropping it next to the stairs and leaning against the railing. "So that I wouldn't see?"

"Maybe?"

"Lexa. You need to go get that redone. If you want to go out more, fine, I'll deal with it. You're almost eighteen, anyway. But you look like a delinquent with that purple hair," her mom insisted. "Did you even get it done in the town center?"

"No," Lexa muttered. "But I don't look like a delinquent. Most people have told me it looks pretty cool."

"Is that what this is about?" her mother demanded. "You're trying to be 'cool'? Cool is subjective, you know? I think it's pretty cool to do well in school and go to college."

Lexa let out a loud groan. How come everyone thought that her trying new things and not always talking about school meant that she was suddenly a high school dropout or something? "I'm not doing bad in school – it's only two days back into it, anyway. I've already been promised a scholarship to Polis, and all I have to do is apply, and there's not really a question as to whether or not I'm going to get in. I don't need to worry about school so much, mom. I can do other things."

"Well, as long as you're living here, one of the things you can't do is dye your hair colors like that. We're going to the salon right now to get it undone."

Lexa glanced up at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath. "I can go by myself," she muttered. "Just give me cash."

Her mom gave her an iffy look, before sighing in resignation and turning around, looking for her purse. Lexa waited by the stairs, since it was also by the door, and waited for her mother to bring her a few twenties. "I want whatever is left of it and the receipt back please."

"Sure," Lexa agreed. "See ya."

She climbed into her car a moment later, having pocketed the money, and pulled out of her driveway to head to the salon that was more in the middle of town. As she did, her phone started ringing with a call from Anya, and though she was reluctant to answer it, she did. "Hey, you coming over?"

"Maybe later," Lexa answered. "Mom saw my hair – I'm headed to the salon."

"She only just now saw it? Wait, you've literally managed to avoid her for six days?" Anya demanded. "That's actually impressive. Nice."

"Thanks," Lexa muttered. "She flipped out about the hair, though, so."

"Watch the salon screw up and give you orange hair or something."

Lexa couldn't help but quirk a small smile. "Thanks for the support, Anya, I really appreciate it."

"Where'd you go after school?"

"The Bean."

"That it?"

"Yep."

Anya was silent for a second. "Okay. Well. Good luck with the hair situation. I'll see you tomorrow morning." The call ended, and Lexa gratefully dropped her phone into her lap. She felt bad, lying to Anya, but at the same time, it felt empowering. She felt like she wasn't constricted, and it was exciting, thrilling.

That feeling melted away, though, when she walked into her usual hair salon to hear her stylist gasp at her hair.

* * *

On Friday was Clarke's last summer class. She'd already enrolled in the last semester of work she had, which she would be finishing slightly early due to the hours she'd already gotten. November was going to be her graduation with her associates degree. She'd started college late, after finding herself in a downwards spiral that had to do with her mom leaving her dad. It was complicated, but she was proud of herself for having been able to pull herself back up.

Even if it was only to find that college was really not for her. Art, though, that was. She didn't really want to live in Polis forever, but for now that's what she had to work with. Plus, at least she had her friends here.

The semester started technically on Monday, but Clarke had arranged her last remaining hours in the easiest way she could. She had classes Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, but not even that many due to her cramming in hours during the past two summers. The rest of her week would be filled with working, painting, living. She was happy with the way her life was coming together.

Which is why she wasn't sure why, as she drove off of the university campus and toward The Bean for the evening shift she'd managed to get last minute, she found her thoughts drifting to Lexa. She hadn't seen the younger girl since Tuesday, and she wasn't sure that she ever would.

Lexa was different. Clarke didn't quite understand her. She wondered sometimes if she'd be more like Lexa had she never moved out here, had her parents stayed together and continued to support her emotionally, and not just with a promise of a paid college. She couldn't really grasp why Lexa would want to be something other than a teenager during her last year of high school. Sometimes, Clarke wished that she could have a huge do over of that part of her life. But Lexa wanted it to be over – that much was clear. Whether she wanted to believe it or not, Clarke was bent on the fact that the brunette was going through the typical teenage rebellion thing.

She was just that, a teenager. So why couldn't Clarke stop her from popping up in her head every now and then? None of her friends had brought the girl up since the incident on Tuesday, when Finn had basically blamed her of sleeping with a seventeen year old. Even if he hadn't entirely believed it, he'd seen, apparently, the way that Clarke looked at her. Clarke wasn't quite sure what that way was, but she was sure that it wasn't what Finn had thought.

Somehow, Clarke wasn't surprised when an hour into her evening shift at The Bean, a familiar brunette entered the shop. She really was back to brunette, though, the purple streaks in her hair were gone. Clarke couldn't help but feel disappointed, though she wasn't quite sure why that was.

Green eyes met hers, and Clarke resisted the urge to start making Lexa's boring coffee before she got to the counter. "Black coffee, please," Lexa said, smiling a little at Clarke.

"Your hair is back to normal," Clarke stated, stepping away from the register to make the coffee as the younger girl fumbled with her wallet.

"Yeah. My mom got pissed at me."

Clarke tried not to laugh. "Too bad. I was starting to think that purple might actually fit you."

"I don't know," Lexa admitted thoughtfully. "I think pink may have looked better."

"Ooh, do I need to call your mom and let her know that her rebellious teen is about to strike again?" Clarke teased, grinning as Lexa's eyes narrowed. "Don't do pink. I did pink when I was eighteen. Too predictable."

"You dyed your hair?"

"You're surprised?" Clarke asked back, putting a lid on Lexa's coffee and exchanging it for the bill and change in her hand.

"I guess not," Lexa answered, taking a sip of her coffee. "Well, I better let you get to work... I kind of have some homework to get done anyway." She glanced down at the book bag that was hung over her shoulder.

"Have fun with that." Clarke offered the brunette a smile, and she could've sworn that Lexa blushed a little as she tucked some hair behind her ear and turned around. Clarke tore her eyes away from the teenager as soon as she realized that she was about to be staring, and her gaze fell on the receipt that she had forgotten to give Lexa. She glanced back over at the brunette, watching her set up her little study area. She had a feeling that she knew what kind of student Lexa would be like in college – she'd hole herself up in the library for hours like that, to study. Or maybe she would always prefer coffee shops, since the university library was open to the town as well.

Clarke glanced back at the receipt, and grabbed a pen from the little cup by the register. She neatly wrote out ten numbers across the bottom, blank strip of the paper, topped by her name written out. Then, folding it so that it was obvious, she tucked it into her pocket. She wouldn't deliver it just yet.

Lexa didn't get up to leave at all that evening, and it was coming up to closing time when Clarke saw the brunette look up and realize that she was the last person in the coffee shop, aside from Clarke, who was quietly getting ready to close up. When she heard Lexa begin to shove her things into her bag, she quickly finished what she was doing, made sure the cash register was locked, and then grabbed her things. She managed to catch Lexa just outside the building. "Hey, wait up."

Lexa froze, turning around and watching as Clarke quickly locked up The Bean. "What's up?"

"You forgot your receipt," Clarke answered, digging into her pocket and then extending it to the brunette. Lexa took it slowly, a look of concern written across her face. "It's a pretty important one. See you around."

She turned and headed to her car before she could watch those green eyes search the receipt for what was so important about it.

* * *

Lexa turned the little paper over in her hands again, looking at it as she sat in her bed later that night. She should've been asleep, especially considering how long she'd spent studying. Her brain was worn out, but it was working now at a mile a minute. Clarke had still been in her line of sight when she'd realized that a phone number was written on it. Clarke's.

But it didn't make any sense.

Clarke was in college, Lexa still had a year left of high school.

Clarke had been the one getting onto her for trying to get with Finn, and though Lexa was now very glad that she hadn't, it was for a different reason. Clarke had been so persistent about the age issue – she'd made a big deal about it more than once. And yet, she'd just handed Lexa her number, an invitation to establish endless communication.

Lexa, of course, wanted to save the number into her phone and text it right away. She would be crazy not to, she knew, because Clarke was incredible. Every piece of Lexa was telling her to do something else.

Part of her was telling her to text Clarke now. Another piece was saying to wait a little longer. Then a few pieces of her were shouting that it was a bad idea – she'd get Clarke into trouble, somehow, or she herself would realize that maybe she'd been in over her head to try and be around Clarke. To be someone that she had never been before.

There was one part of her telling her to abandon it all. Everything from the past summer. Abandon the idea that she could be more than what she'd always been. Abandon the thought that she could be break out of a stereotype. Abandon the acceptance that she liked girls, that she liked Clarke.

That part of her made her want to vomit, and she nearly fled to her bathroom as she let those thoughts plague her mind for a moment.

When she cleared them, her hands began working against her will, grabbing her phone off of her nightstand and opening up a new contact field. She wasn't sure of Clarke's last name, but she supposed that it would be better to just have her first name saved anyway. Her fingers shook a little bit, in either fear or thrill or perhaps both, as she typed the number into the correct box.

It saved into her phone, and took in a deep breath, moving to her text message app.

 **To Clarke – Hey.**

The response was fast, maybe too fast.

 **From Clarke – Hey yourself, cutie.**

Lexa blushed, despite herself.

 **To Clarke – This is a bad idea...?**

She had to put it out there, or else she would kick herself later, she could almost feel it. But she wasn't sure what Clarke would say about it, if she would even acknowledge it. Lexa had to know what the blonde was going to say about it, she had to know what to expect from her.

She couldn't figure Clarke out, and she needed to.

Lexa assumed that she'd caught the blonde off guard, because the typing bubble was there for nearly a minute before the short reply came through.

 **From Clarke – What is?**

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. Was Clarke legitimately playing dumb? Lexa suddenly wondered if she would even be able to figure Clarke out at any point in time.

 **To Clarke – Having each other's numbers.**

 **From Clarke – There's no crime in that, silly. And sorry I can't fulfill your rebellious needs, but I'm not into performing crimes or felonies of any kind. ;)**

 **To Clarke – You're ridiculous.**

 **From Clarke – Well, ridiculous me has had a few drinks. Speaking of, Finn is definitely about to get himself arrested. Gotta go be the "un-fun" responsible one.**

 **To Clarke – Good luck with that.**

There was no response after that, and Lexa let out a soft sigh. She really wasn't sure what was going on there. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that it wasn't worth all of the worry. At least, the large part of her that couldn't ever take her eyes off of Clarke was helping her to feel that way.

Plus, wasn't Clarke a sort of representation of the life that Lexa wished she had?

Shaking her head, the brunette set her phone on her nightstand, blocking out her thoughts and wrapping herself up in her blankets snugly.

She had no idea what she was doing.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke woke up on Saturday feeling not so great. It took her less than a handful of seconds to realize that she had consumed possibly a bit too much alcohol the night before. She was just glad that she remembered that Octavia and Bellamy had paid for it, because she definitely didn't need to be blowing her cash on alcohol.

Groaning, she let her memories come flooding back to her as she breathed in slowly. She recalled her friends being assholes, as per usual, but she also remembered that Lexa had texted her sometime before midnight. Her eyes widening, she nearly forgot about the pain in her head as she began searching her body and bed for her phone.

When she grabbed it, she immediately opened up her text messages and saw that she'd saved Lexa's contact as "Lexxa". Rolling her eyes at herself, she quickly fixed it and then opened the conversation. It was pretty tame, which she thanked her drunk self for. She did remember texting most of it anyway, it was just a slightly slurred memory. She'd also made no typos, which was probably only thanks to the fact that she had the keyboard on her phone memorized.

She found herself debating whether or not she should text Lexa again, if only to apologize for her disregarding Lexa's concern. To be honest, Clarke had thought about it herself, whether or not it was okay for the two of them to be texting.

Personally, Clarke was still rather unsure of why she was intrigued by the brunette anyway. Maybe it was her eyes – they were quite ensnaring. She wondered briefly if that was what had distracted Finn enough to not even consider that she might be underage. Though, Clarke hadn't thought that she was under eighteen when she'd seen her for the first time either.

She found herself texting out a message despite herself.

 **To Lexa – Hey, I have to apologize for texting you back last night while I was drunk. My bad.**

Taking a breath, Clarke pushed herself off of her bed and became aware, once again, of her pounding head. She groaned as she forced herself up anyway and pushed out of her bedroom and to her kitchen. She dug around one of the drawers until she found some painkillers, and she quickly took them down. After downing a glass of water and then going to the bathroom, she was already feeling better.

Back in her room, she saw her phone lit up with a new text message.

 **From Lexa – It's okay, I hope you managed to rescue Finn from getting arrested. :P**

 **To Lexa – I hope I did, I really can't remember what exactly he was doing anyway. Oops.**

Suddenly, Clarke's phone began ringing with a call from Bellamy. Frowning and sitting back down on her comfy bed, she answered. "Hey, Bell, what's up?"

"Oh good, you're awake," her friend answered. "Wanted to make sure, because I lugged you home last night and you weren't in the best state. I haven't seen you drink like that in a while. Everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't everything be okay?" Clarke asked, knitting her eyebrows together as she tried to figure out if Bellamy was trying to hint at something.

He coughed awkwardly. "Well, last night when I asked you why you were drinking, just before I dropped you off at your place, you muttered something about being stupid and giving some girl your number."

A groan escaped Clarke's lips before she could consider that she was about to have to talk to Bellamy about this Lexa situation. She didn't think that anyone had told him about her and Finn fighting about the nature of her relationship with Lexa that past Tuesday, which meant that he was probably clueless regarding all of it. "Oh. That."

"What's that?"

"Yeah, I um. I've been talking to this girl named Lexa. She's the girl that Finn had over on the Saturday that we set up my room in the warehouse."

"Oh, wait really? That seems kind of weird. Is she in one of your classes or something?" Bellamy questioned, rightfully confused.

Clarke sighed. "No. She's... ah, she's in high school. She's seventeen. Which I found out after Finn almost slept with her, and I told him, and she apologized and whatnot."

"So... why keep talking to her exactly?" Bellamy questioned. Clarke slid under her blankets, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"I don't know. She's... not awful."

"Okay... but she's four years younger than us."

"She's gotta be eighteen soon," Clarke justified, though for what reason she wasn't sure, "she just started her senior year of high school, so."

"Clarke... please don't tell me that there's something else there besides just talking to this girl," Bellamy pleaded.

"Why does everyone think that?" Clarke demanded, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration. "I'm not an idiot. Talking to someone who's a few years younger than me doesn't equate to wanting to sleep with them. I don't need you and Finn making snap judgments about me or any of this. She helped me set up my art room last weekend, and that's it. She offered, after I saw her at The Bean before I headed over there."

"Calm down," Bellamy insisted. "If you say that nothing's going on, I believe you. It's just... curious, I guess, that you'd be interested in being friends with her, or more than acquaintances, or whatever. You're usually closed off from anyone besides us. You know, because of your parents and everything..."

"Yeah, I do know," Clarke snapped, before letting her eyes flicker closed and taking a deep breath. "Sorry, I shouldn't snap at you Bellamy. You're really the only one who lets me just talk about things these days, I shouldn't be so frustrated with you."

He laughed. "I'm used to it, Clarke. That's just you."

"I wish it wasn't."

"We love you, Clarke, all of us. No matter what. You know that, right? We don't care about the shit that happened with your parents, or what degree you decide to get in college, or what you want to do with the rest of your life. You're like our ringleader, and we're always going to be here for you," Bellamy promised her.

Clarke snorted, though a smile appeared on her face as well. "Some ringleader I am. Thanks, Bell. You gonna be up at the warehouse today?"

"Heading over there now. I thought up an idea of something that might interesting to write. Which is unfortunate, considering that I've been too lazy to set up my desk and computer in the back of my space. I guess that's what I get for wanting the lounge done first," Bellamy said, laughing.

Clarke smiled. "I'll help you set it up before I start my day's worth of painting. Maybe then later you can help me list some of my stuff on etsy or something."

"Sure thing, see you soon."

The call ended, and Clarke didn't even think to check her text messages before hopping up and going to get ready to leave her apartment.

In fact, the thought didn't cross her mind until she was parked in front of the warehouse, grabbing her phone before heading inside. She looked at the device curiously, unlocking it to check if Lexa had texted her back.

 **From Lexa – I guess drinking too much will do that to you. Maybe you should pace yourself next time.**

Smiling, though she wouldn't admit it later, Clarke began to type out a response.

 **To Lexa – Oh yes, and I'll be sure to take the advice of a teenager about my drinking. ;)**

Perhaps the winking face was much, but she knew that Lexa would get annoyed at any mention of her age. It was interesting, Clarke could admit, but every time she told herself she would figure out what was up with the girl, she gave up moments later.

She pocketed her phone and got out of her car, wanting to make good on her promise to help Bellamy with his desk.

Later in the afternoon, hours after Clarke and Bellamy had finished his desk and computer setup, and a couple hours after Monty had shown up with lunch for the three of them who were there, Clarke found herself standing in front of her easel. Paintbrush in hand, she wasn't quite sure what it was that she was creating. She was sort of sticking true to her recent abstract theme, but it was less abstract than her previous ones. Almost like realistic things stuck in an abstract vortex – like they were trying to escape.

She'd had music playing about an hour earlier, but her play list must've ended, because her room was silent. She heard sounds coming from Monty's room, which wasn't far from her own, but it sounded like the typical thing you'd hear from Monty. A bunch of tracks played sporadically while he mixed them and made them into something even cooler. Despite how strange it always sounded in the process, Clarke loved listening to his finished products, as did his pretty large Bandcamp following.

The money he'd started making from the website was actually what had Clarke interested in trying to make some money off of her art. She'd been creating a huge portfolio over the past five or so years, and she figured it was about time that she try to get her skill to actually help her further her financial situation.

She figured that once she finished school, she would end up with a lot more available time to do so. Until then, she was stuck on her school, work, and then do art schedule.

After carefully dragging her paintbrush across the canvas, she stepped back a little to scan over the piece, pushing back a stray piece of hair that had fallen into her face out of her loose bun. She was about to go back at it, but her phone suddenly beeped noisily from the table behind her. Letting out a frustrated breath, Clarke set down the paintbrush and stepped away from the easel.

She saw a notification for a text from Lexa, and she bit the inside of her lower lip as she opened it.

 **From Lexa – You don't happen to have some art room organizing task that an incredibly bored me could help with, do you?**

Before Clarke could even think to respond, another text came through.

 **From Lexa – No payment is required – in fact, I'll bring coffee!**

Clarke heard a quiet laugh escape her lips before she realized it, and she caught herself and bit down on her lower lip to withhold the sound.

Part of her – probably the part of her that most of her friends would agree with – told her to tell Lexa that she actually didn't need help, or to lie and say that she wasn't even at the warehouse, or even just to ignore the text. But a slightly bigger part of her, the one that would always force the younger brunette into her mind, told her to figure out something for the brunette to do, some excuse, to get her to come to the warehouse.

 **To Lexa – Well, my art room is absolutely pristine at the moment, aside from the mess I'm probably making painting. But I will always accept free coffee, and company is not hated either. ;)**

 **From Lexa – Oh good, because in my spare moment of confidence, I bought two coffees...**

Clarke felt a smile grow on her face again, and she set her phone back down on the table. She restarted her music play list, turning the volume down a little bit, and went back to painting while she waited for her coffee to show up. And Lexa.

It was only a few minutes later that she heard the tapping of shoes coming down the hallway, and Clarke set her paintbrush down and looked backwards over her shoulder just as Lexa reached her doorway, slowing tentatively. "Hi," the brunette said, smiling. She took another step into the room and set the second coffee in her hand on the table by Clarke's phone. "I didn't know how you take your coffee, but since you refer to mine as boring, I just had them throw a bunch of sugar and cream into it and figured it'll be fine that way."

Clarke smiled as well. "Thanks!" She stepped over to the table and grabbed the coffee, taking a long drink from it. "So what, your life is so boring that all you have left to do is come hang out with me?" She set the cup down again and moved back over to her easel.

"Ha. My life is the most boring, repetitive thing ever."

"Mm, I'm sure."

Lexa huffed. "Really, it is. I hate high school."

"Everyone hates high school," Clarke insisted, shaking her head as she continued to paint.

"I just want to start college."

Clarke chuckled. "I think you'd like college. I don't, though. I'm glad mine's almost over."

"Oh, ah, how old are you exactly?"

"Twenty-one. I'm getting my associates degree in November. Before you ask – I basically started college late and then crammed it all as much as possible. I did almost a year's worth in two summers, and I'm just finishing my last semester during this next semester. It's kind of complicated," Clarke explained, shrugging. "I just want it to be over."

"What's your degree in?"

"Visual arts," Clarke answered. "As my father would say – it's the 'wasted degree'."

"Your parents don't support you?"

"My dad's relaxed a little about it. But he thinks that if I'd started college on time, I would've realized that what I've decided to do is 'absolutely ridiculous'. As far as my mom goes, well. She really doesn't care, as long as the price is within the bounds of her ever expanding bank account. Considering, anyway, that it's the only support I'm ever going to get from her on anything," Clarke muttered, before freezing as she realized that she'd just began rambling about something so personal to Lexa, who was four years younger than her and who she definitely know well enough to be spewing personal information at. "Sorry, didn't mean to ah, bombard you with that. I'm a little bitter."

"You should be, that sucks," Lexa stated, and Clarke smiled a little at the strokes she was painting across her canvas. "My mom supports me a little too much when it comes to school. She'd like me to pour my everything into it and never anything else. I kinda wanted to go into dance when I was younger, but apparently that would've steered me way from the endgame goal."

"Lame. What about your dad?" Clarke figured that it was fair of her to ask, since she'd spilled her parental issues to Lexa.

Lexa made a small noise that sounded like an uncomfortable hum. "I... don't really know. I've never met him."

Clarke froze, glancing over her shoulder at the brunette. "Oh. I'm... sorry?" Lexa's green eyes weren't looking at her, but rather the artwork that covered the room's walls.

"It's fine, it doesn't really bother me. I mean... sometimes I wonder if I'd be different if he'd stuck around when I was born. Apparently, he kinda just disappeared when my mom was giving birth to me. Maybe he knew I would turn out to be boring like my mom." Lexa's look was faraway, and Clarke felt obliged to look back at her painting, as if she was invading Lexa's space just by looking at her.

"What makes you think you're boring?"

"Um, have you met me?"

Clarke laughed lightly. "I'm pretty sure every time you've spoken to me, you've tried to be anything but yourself."

The response sounded indignant. "What do you mean?"

"Mm. I can't figure you out," Clarke admitted, setting her paintbrush down now and turning around to meet curious green eyes. "So you're good at school, right?"

"I... guess?"

"You are. But you don't really care if anyone knows that – I think you'd rather them not know it. You clearly didn't think Finn was at all special, but you almost slept with him. Your best friend probably picked you up that day, and attacked you with questions about why the fuck you were out at some random warehouse, which would definitely explain why you lied to her last Saturday about where you were when she called. You dyed your hair at the end of summer – which is something I feel like people usually do in the beginning of summer, because of the exact reason that you ended up dying it back to normal afterward. I just..." Clarke stopped abruptly, realizing she'd been babbling again. Lexa was looking at her with intent curiosity, maybe a little confusion, and the blonde realized that it was probably now obvious just how much time she'd spent thinking about the younger girl. "I just don't get you."

"I... started doing a lot of things I don't normally do this summer," Lexa admitted. "Like going out at random times of the day, spending stupid amounts of money on things I don't need – like the hair. I stopped talking to my mom a lot, started hanging out with a few of the people at school that no one would ever have pegged me to be friends with. I wanted to feel like there was something else for me than just school. I hate feeling like I'm a kid trying to get to one cookie jar in my house that everyone's been highlighting like it's so fucking important, when realistically I could walk out of my house and go find a bunch of cookies anywhere else."

"Strange metaphor," Clarke commented, her lips quirking up into a smirk, "but I see the point. To be honest, though, no matter how much time you spend trying to not be you, you're still going to end up being you."

"But I don't know who I am," Lexa argued, her eyebrows furrowing as her voice filled with more intensity. "How am I supposed to know who I am if I haven't been given the chance to figure it out, you know?" Clarke was slightly surprised at the sudden frustration oozing from the brunette, but she nodded in response. "I've already learned a number of things about myself this summer that probably would've taken me at least another year to figure out if I'd just spent all summer focusing on getting ready for my stupid senior year."

Clarke hummed thoughtfully. "Like what?"

Lexa froze, as if she hadn't expected Clarke to be curious. Green eyes suddenly dropped and scanned over Clarke's body, and she felt her cheeks heat up, unsure if she was perceiving the sudden tension in the room correctly. "Um." Lexa's gaze suddenly shifted to anywhere else but the blonde. "Just... things."

"Aw come on!" Clarke said, taking a step forward and raising her eyebrows. "Tell me!"

"It's nothing... important."

Clarke scanned the brunette for a moment, attempting again to figure her out. "Halfway through my senior year," she started suddenly, almost surprising herself, "my mom started packing up all of her shit. She went through every room for a solid week, collecting anything that she deemed was more hers than mine or my dad's. Then, she started disappearing a lot during the week, and I tried to pretend like I didn't know what was happening. My dad told me that she was just working more, and they both pretended like I hadn't noticed her packing everything up. Then, about a month later, she up and left. Which is pretty ironic, considering how on board she'd been with the move here, despite all of my complaining when we first got here. My dad tried to tell me that they were still together, just needing to be in different places for a while. Fucking bullshit. They got a divorce right around the same time as my graduation would've been. But I wasn't graduating, because I flunked that year after spending so much damn time worrying about my parents. Not to mention that I already wasn't the brightest when it came to math. Anyway, I had to take summer school that summer, and I got my diploma right before I would've been starting college. Instead, I took a year off. And most people do a lot of productive shit, or traveling at least, with their years off. Mine was spent with me being holed up in my room at my dad's house, painting and drinking – a lot of drinking."

Lexa was staring at her with wide eyes. "Oh."

"Halfway through the year, I found myself at a college party – I guess since most people who were nineteen at that time were indeed enrolled in Polis University. That's where I met Finn, and I slept with him on the first night that I met him. I slept with him about four other times after that, and by the time that I decided that sex with him was totally satisfactory enough, I'd met his friends. And his friends became my friends, and by the end of that year of college – for everyone else – I'd finally gotten myself together a little bit," Clarke said, letting out a breath.

"Why, ah, are you telling me this?"

Clarke shrugged. "I thought we were spilling out guts? Come on, now you have to tell me what juicy sort of things you've learned about yourself this summer that being a reckless, rebellious teenager helped you discover."

Lexa narrowed her eyes in annoyance, and Clarke grinned at the reaction. The brunette sniffed a little, looking doubtful about saying anything else, but she finally gave in and let out a puff of air. "I think I learned that most guys are disgusting."

"Tell me something I don't know," Clarke said, laughing and shaking her head.

"I mean," Lexa began to clarify, "I don't think I want to date any guys. I don't think I like them the way I... should."

Clarke wasn't sure if she was surprised or not by Lexa's response, but she knew that the right thing to do in the moment was to not seem taken aback at all. "Welcome to the club," she said, feeling her face soften a little. "Fuck what society says you should be anyway. Personally, I don't mind guys some of the time, but I've had a pretty shitty track record with them as it is."

Lexa looked like she didn't know how to react all of the sudden.

"Frankly, Lexa," Clarke began, taking an unconscious step forward, "even though you shouldn't let the world, or your mom, or your friends tell you who to be, you shouldn't try to be somebody else. You'll learn about yourself as you go through life – like everyone does – and hopefully you don't turn out like the majority of the fucking awful world."

The brunette breathed in deeply. "I guess you're right."

Clarke tilted her head a little. "Well. This conversation got a lot deeper than I thought it would when it started."

Lexa let out a quiet laugh. "Yeah, a little bit." Her green eyes jumped up to look at Clarke again, who was now moving over to the table where Lexa was in order to grab her coffee and take another drink of it. She found herself standing right next to the brunette, who didn't shy away at all from the position as she kept her eyes on Clarke.

"You're doing that staring thing again," Clarke said quietly as she set her cup down again, turning her body to face Lexa's directly at a very close proximity.

"Sorry," Lexa breathed out, and Clarke was suddenly very aware of those glowing green eyes focusing on her lips rather than her eyes. The blonde involuntarily bit down on her lower lip, and Lexa's gaze immediately hopped up to her eyes instead, realizing that she'd been caught.

Their faces gravitated closer to one another, but it was Lexa, surprising Clarke, who suddenly tilted her head and joined their lips together. The barrier broken, Clarke pressed into Lexa abruptly, sucking her lower lip in between her own. Lexa whimpered slightly as Clarke's hands were suddenly on her waist, and both of them were lost in each other for just a moment.

Until a voice from down the hallway, just a mere ten seconds away from reaching Clarke's doorway, called, "Hey, Clarke, whose car is out front?"

Clarke pulled away from Lexa in record time, nearly stumbling backward, and took multiple steps backwards just before Bellamy appeared at the threshold of her nonexistent door. Lexa was left next to the table, looking pretty flustered, but running her hand through her hair as if that was somehow calm her down. Maybe it did. "Uh, Lexa's," Clarke answered, nodding toward the brunette, who Bellamy had already been looking at.

"Oh. Nice to meet you," Bellamy said to her, before looking at Clarke with suspicion.

"Ah, yeah, you too," Lexa returned shakily.

Bellamy glanced between her and Clarke for a moment, before his gaze finally settled back on the blonde. "You know where half of my beers went? I feel like they've been slowly disappearing over the whole past week or so."

Clarke smirked. "Ah yeah. If the code to your fridge was anything that Octavia could guess, I'm pretty sure she told it to Jasper and Raven. For what it's worth, I told them to leave it alone."

"You couldn't have picked that moment to be the angry, bossy version of yourself?" Bellamy muttered, stepping out of the room and mumbling in annoyance to himself as he headed back to his room.

"I," Lexa started suddenly, "um, I should go."

Clarke's expression dropped, her gaze falling back on the younger girl. "Okay." Lexa nervously wet her lips, looking the blonde up and down for a moment, before slowly making her way to the door. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Yeah," Lexa replied quickly. "I'll, ah, see you."

Suddenly, she was gone, and Clarke suppressed a sigh before going back to her painting.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, you really are like... friends with her now or something?" Bellamy asked, popping back into Clarke's art room about fifteen minutes after Lexa had left.

Distracted, the blonde took a few seconds to realize that Bellamy was behind her, let alone that he'd said anything. "Oh. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. She wanted to know if I needed any help in here."

"So she just showed up?"

Clarke froze, her gaze leaving her easel as she sighed. Setting down her paintbrush, she forced herself to turn around an face Bellamy. "Yeah."

His brown eyes shifted over to look at Clarke's now empty coffee cup on her table, which sat neatly next to her phone. "So, you don't have her phone number?" Clarke didn't fall for his questioning glance and lunge for her phone, and she let him grab it.

"Nope."

"You wouldn't mind me checking?"

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" she asked back, glad in this moment that she'd never told any of her friends her usual phone password. She turned around to face her work in progress painting again, biting down on her lip nervously as she felt Bellamy's presence behind her.

In retrospect, kissing Lexa back was probably a very bad idea. Sure, it wasn't illegal to kiss someone consensually, but the issue was what the kiss meant, the gravity that it held. Because Clarke and Lexa were in two different worlds, and those worlds couldn't mesh.

But Clarke couldn't help but still feel the warmth of Lexa's lips on hers, and she wondered briefly whether Lexa actually liked her or not. Sure, the kiss was there and also the fact that Lexa seemed to be so persistent on spending time with the blonde, but the younger girl was going through her teenage rebellion. Even if she did think she had feelings for Clarke, and didn't like guys as she had said earlier, it was entirely possible that those feelings stemmed from a lesbian tendency that Lexa had buried into her rebellious phase.

After all, Lexa had nearly agreed to have sex with Finn.

"Your password is your mom's name, really?" Bellamy asked, causing Clarke to slump a little. "Don't you hate her or something?"

"I never talk about her, so hardly anyone knows her name. How'd you know it?" Clarke felt slightly defeated, and she abandoned her work in progress for now and turned to go sit in one of the chairs by her table. Bellamy had sat down by now, and he was probably looking at her text messages. "Could you give me my damn phone?"

"So she texted to ask if she could come over," Bellamy stated, setting the phone down in front of Clarke. The blonde, trying to distract herself from the very person Bellamy wanted to talk about, grabbed for her coffee cup. It took her only a second to remember that it was empty, and she was forced to answer Bellamy, even though he hadn't spoken the statement as a question.

"Yes."

"And she has your number how?"

"I gave it to her."

Bellamy let out a sigh. "Clarke... you said that there's nothing going on."

"Because there's not," Clarke lied. Before, she hadn't been lying. But now... with the kiss... she was officially lying to her best friend. "Like I said, she's been wanting to help me set this place up. And frankly, I needed the help."

"And now?"

"Now... I don't know. I guess we're friends."

"Alright... You just... you're normally so closed off and kinda brash. You don't ever really try to get close to people. You don't even try to get closer to any of us," Bellamy stated.

"What about you?"

"I basically forced you to open up to me years ago, Clarke," Bellamy reminded her, narrowing his eyes at her, "because you need to trust some people."

"So what's the problem?" Clarke demanded, crossing her arms self consciously.

Bellamy pursed his lips. "The problem is that the girl you are now finding yourself friends with isn't even an adult yet. She still has a whole year of high school. And I don't think any of us could deny that she does look a bit older – and she's obviously attractive. And recently, you've had definitely more of a pull to other girls..."

"Bell," Clarke cut him off, feeling her cheeks flush already. "I'm not going to do anything illegal."

"I would never assume that you would," Bellamy told her, and Clarke's eyebrows knit together.

"I don't get it, what are you trying to tell me then?"

"I think you like her, and I don't think it's about sex like it would've been for Finn." Bellamy stood up, towering over Clarke as she remained seated. "And I don't think that's something you should necessarily be getting yourself into."

Clarke remained silent.

"I've gotta head out. See you soon," he said, turning and walking out of the room. Clarke watched him leave, and then she set her arms on the table in front of her and let her head collapse onto them. Of course she liked Lexa – she wasn't an idiot when it came to feelings. She knew what it felt like to like someone.

Bellamy was worried about her opening up to someone and then having no choice but to lose them. At least, she thought that's what he was having a problem with. Little did he know, however, that she'd just about spilled the worst of her past to the very girl that everyone was insinuating she was secretly seeing just half an hour earlier.

But wasn't she doing exactly that?

* * *

Lexa couldn't sleep on Saturday night. After being forced to sit through an impromptu dinner with her mom and another professor once she'd come home, she escaped up to her bedroom and fell into her bed gratefully. Staring at the ceiling was her favorite way to reflect on the what the fuckmoments of life.

Kissing Clarke was definitely one of those moments. She'd been so stupid to kiss her. She still couldn't understand why the blonde had kissed her back, but no matter that reason, it was still wrong of her to kiss Clarke. It'd been in the heat of the moment. She'd just told Clarke about her being pretty sure that she didn't like boys, after the blonde had admitted her past, and it had just felt like the right thing to do.

But it couldn't be, because Lexa was four years younger than Clarke, who was about to be finished with college.

But Clarke had kissed her back...

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut, taking in a deep breath. "Don't think about it," she told herself softly.

It was easier said than done. It kept her up for most of the night – she slept for maybe two hours out of the eight that she laid in her bed.

She spent Sunday with Anya, pretending that she was once again a typical teenage girl hanging out with her best friend, like there weren't a thousand thoughts plaguing her mind. She pretended that Clarke's name on her phone wasn't taunting her, that every time Anya brought up boys it somehow excited her, that the last thing she wanted to do wasn't to be a typical teenage girl.

Luna texted her sometime late in the evening, asking if she wanted to go to the bonfire by the lake.

The bonfires were usually college things, but there were always a handful of teenagers who went. There had been mostly high school bonfires over the summer, but now that a new semester at Polis University was about to start, Lexa knew that the lake would be crawling with college aged people.

A year ago, that would've made her refuse, but lately she'd been going to bonfires with Luna a lot. "Hey," she said to her best friend, "feel like a bonfire?"

"Did Luna invite you?" Anya asked dryly.

"Yeah."

"Then, no. I think I'll pass," Anya answered, standing up and grabbing her things off of Lexa's desk. "We have school tomorrow, you know? Getting wasted is probably a stupid idea."

"I'm not going to get wasted," Lexa insisted, glaring at her friend as she gripped her phone tightly.

"Whatever. See you through your shades tomorrow." Anya abruptly walked out of her bedroom, and Lexa didn't move until she heard her front door open and then slam violently. Sighing, Lexa opened up a text message.

 **To Luna – See you there.**

She showed up at the bonfire about fifteen minutes later, along the side of the beach like area next to the lake. It was her and Luna's usual meet up spot, and sure enough, her friend was waiting for her there. "Hey," she greeted, curious by the devious grin that Luna had spread across her face.

"College bonfires are back," Luna said with excitement. "Did you go to any last year, before summer?"

"No," Lexa admitted, and Luna's wide eyes were enough to tell her that she was about to experience it in full swing. "Why did they have it today instead of yesterday?"

"There was one yesterday," Luna explained, "so most people who have Monday classes probably went to that one. But some idiots just prefer to party all the time, school be damned."

"Why do I get the feeling that that will be you in college?" she asked, smirking a little as Luna grabbed her wrist and started pulling her toward the bonfire. Quite a few people were there already, laughing, talking and drinking as per usual.

"Please, I'll be so responsible," Luna answered with a snicker. "Anyway, not all of us want to go to college for the education like you do, Lexa."

"What do you want to go to college for then?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "The sake of going, I guess? That doesn't matter, though, come on, let's go pretend that we're college girls."

The thought made Lexa somewhat nauseous, all things considered, but she didn't object as Luna pulled her up to a group of college guys and started flirting. She found one of them looking at her and she gave him a shy hello, before turning her attention back to the group. There was no way that she was going to end up in any sort of situation like the one with Finn. Not to mention, she wasn't even remotely interested in the idea of hooking up with any of these people.

She knew exactly why that was.

"Ooh, Lexa," Luna whispered to her all of the sudden, nodding in a certain direction, "that guy is coming over here, and he's looking at you."

Lexa's eyes widened as she saw the guy approaching her, and muttered, "Oh shit."

"What? You know him or something? He's hot."

"Lexa. What are you doing here?" Finn asked her immediately, crossing his arms over his chest like he was somehow in charge of her.

"She's with me," Luna stated, as though that would make more sense than Lexa just being here. "But I wouldn't mind if you stole her... or me."

"Shut up, Luna," Lexa snapped at her friend, who blinked in surprise for a moment before giving up and turning back to the group she'd been chit chatting in before. "I'm just here with my friend, Finn."

"If I ask you a question, could you answer me with complete honesty?" Finn asked, his arms still crossed and looking like he was maybe trying to be intimidating.

"Maybe."

Finn narrowed his eyes, and Lexa held her ground, raising her right eyebrow challengingly. Despite this small act of bravery, her heart was pounding. She'd never been good at social situations, especially not ones like this, but lately she'd been doing her best to face them. So far, that had been going well. It's why she'd forced herself to brave enough to speak with Clarke, it's why she'd spoken to Finn in the first place.

"You going to ask me, or not?" she heard, more than felt, herself ask.

"Is something going on between you and Clarke?"

Lexa was incredibly surprised by the question, but she wouldn't let her face show it. "No? What do you even mean?"

"I mean what you know I mean," Finn snapped, and Lexa jumped in surprise at his vicious tone. "Look, I didn't deserve you not telling me your age. And I know that Clarke knows how old you are, but what she doesn't deserve is being fucked over. And so far, you seem exactly like a person who would do just that."

"What would even give you that impression?" Lexa demanded, actually confused as to why Finn would say that she would be the kind of person to fuck Clarke over.

"You almost slept with me, then proceeded to get told off by Clarke. Somehow you two still started 'hanging out', and I think something's going on between you two, and now you're out here, flirting with older guys again."

"That's not what I'm – I wouldn't – I mean, I didn't..." Lexa couldn't find the words to use. She didn't want to admit to having feelings for Clarke, afraid that it would somehow lead to her admitting that she'd kissed the blonde the previous day. She also didn't want to seem overly defensive, but she didn't want to come off as dismissive. Because she wasn't flirting with anyone right now, and she definitely wasn't trying to hook up with any older guys.

"You may have Clarke fooled with your pretty face and whatever young charm she thinks you have, but you don't fool me, Lexa. In case you haven't noticed, we're a tight group of friends. I won't let her get fucked over."

Lexa saw red for a moment, and she heard herself snap at him, "I didn't do anything wrong, Finn! I didn't sleep with you, and I'm not trying to sleep with anyone else. And I don't know what you think I've been doing to charm Clarke, but whatever it is is definitely wrong. Even if there wassomething going on between me and her, which there definitely isn't, the last thing I would want to do would be the fuck her over. Unlike you, I don't enjoy treating people like dolls."

Finn looked absolutely shocked by her outburst, especially considering how she'd been fumbling over her words a moment ago, but before he could say anything, Luna was placing a hand on Lexa's arm. "Hey, people are staring. Let's get out of here."

"Yeah," Lexa agreed, her rage filled gaze still on Finn as Luna began to pull her away. She heard the conversation between the people they were leaving behind pick up again, though she didn't remember when it had gone silent.

"What the fuck was that?" Luna demanded, though she sounded far more excited than angry. "You been sneaking out to these without me knowing?"

"No," Lexa muttered. "Finn's just... I almost slept with him, which was totally wrong since he's in his twenties. And he really doesn't like me now anyway."

"Did he find out about your age?"

"Yeah," Lexa answered, "but I don't think that's why he dislikes me."

"So why doesn't he?"

Lexa rolled her eyes, trying to induce any other emotion than embarrassment, which was what seemed to be trying to rise as she thought of the real reason. "I think... he thinks I have a thing with one of his friends."

Luna stopped walking, drawing a confused gaze from the other brunette. "Wait, that girl you were yelling about? He thinks you have a thing with a girl?"

Lexa nodded.

"Well... do you? Oh my god, Lexa, you actually have more drama than I do in my life right now. I'm pretty impressed."

For some reason, that didn't make Lexa feel any better. A few weeks ago, maybe. All she'd wanted was for people to see her as cooler than one of the nerds at the top of her class. But she didn't feel cool. She felt stupid. "The girl he's talking about... we don't have a thing going on."

"But?"

"There's not a but, Luna," Lexa lied, starting back up to the parking area, only to have her friend grab her wrist in protest.

"Oh come on, there's definitely a but. Do you like him? Ooh, do you like her? Come on, Lexa, you know I won't tell!"

Lexa knew that Luna wouldn't tell, because she'd heard and witnessed many of Luna's very embarrassing, drunken, and often illegal moments of the past summer. And who else her age could she tell, really? Anya popped into her mind, but she wasn't sure that Anya would understand. Anya had been raised the same way as she'd been, anyway, and she saw most relationships as out of the question until college. She was bound to think that questioning ones sexuality was to be put off even further than college. Closer to never, even.

"I do like her," Lexa admitted, biting the inside of her lower lip as she realized that she'd just admitted it out loud. "I kissed her yesterday. I don't think Finn knows, but I feel so stupid. She's twenty-one."

"Damn, was she into it?"

"I... don't know for sure," Lexa replied, and she was very much aware that Luna was way more excited about the situation than she herself was. "I kind of bolted afterward. One of her friends almost walked in on us. I mean, we just kissed, but still. Her friends don't... really like me... as you just saw."

"Aw, what's there not to like?" Luna asked playfully, a grin spreading over her face as she looped her arm with Lexa's. "You're gorgeous, for one. Second, you know how to have fun. On top of that, you're also seriously smart. Sometimes I don't really get you. But you're actually a pretty good friend too. I'm glad you and I started getting close this summer."

Lexa was surprised by the sudden intimacy. She definitely considered Luna one of her friends, especially this past summer, but she hadn't ever expected the other girl to see her as a friend.

If hanging out with Luna all summer hadn't ended with her feeling as cool as she'd wanted, but rather more of an idiot, at least she'd gotten another friend out of it.

As she and Luna walked back up to the parking lot, Lexa's thoughts drifted back to Clarke, and she was reminded of the pit in her stomach that she'd been trying to not think about. She was glad that she hadn't had anything to drink, because she was sure she'd vomit everywhere right now if that were the case.

"You gonna head home?" Luna asked.

"Yeah," Lexa answered quickly. "Really don't feel like being out anymore."

"Fair enough," Luna agreed. "See you around at school. Oh hey, you should get Anya to come out with us sometime. She went out with me that one time last year and keeps refusing now."

Lexa's eyebrows shot up. "She went out to a party with you once?"

"Yeah, one of the college bonfires. She seemed to have fun, I don't know why won't come again. Ask her?"

Lexa blinked. "Yeah, sure. See you later, Lu."

Baffled, worn out, and still feeling stupid, Lexa climbed into her car and drove back up from the lake as fast as she could.


	9. Chapter 9

"What's with you today?" Anya asked, looking at Lexa with worry. "I mean, you've been weird lately, but you look... I don't know, like a zombie."

Lexa groaned, quite aware of her completely unusual mood. Clarke hadn't texted her at all throughout Sunday, and not at all so far on Monday, and the school day was nearly over. Lexa had thought about texting Clarke herself, but any sort of apology she could muster via phone communication wouldn't be enough to express how stupid she felt. Clarke must be thinking that, right? If she hadn't texted Lexa, it was definitely because she thought that Lexa kissing her had been downright insane? Finn almost may have spoken to her about the previous night.

She'd gotten very little sleep on Sunday night, and so now she had a total of about six hours over a period of three days. "Lexa? Are you stoned or something?"

"What?" she demanded immediately. "Why would I be stoned? I've never done drugs, Anya."

"Can't be sure of anything anymore," the other girl muttered, as their teacher closed the classroom door and began to speak.

Lexa lowered her voice. "Judgmental much?"

"How was your night out with Luna yesterday?" Anya asked, sounding angry despite her whispering. "You and her seem to be hanging out a lot lately."

"If you think I've replaced you with Luna, you're crazy," Lexa hissed. "You and her are totally different people, not at all interchangeable. I can be friends with both of you at once!"

"Miss Woods," their teacher suddenly snapped, causing Lexa to jump in surprise. "Would you like to share your conversation with the rest of us?"

"No, sir."

"Then please do us the favor of shutting your mouth," he continued, narrowing his eyes. Lexa tried not to roll her eyes, and went to say something else to Anya, only to find her best friend giving her full attention to the lesson.

After class, Lexa didn't let Anya escape to leave the school. "We need to talk," she said to her best friend, who looked incredibly unhappy about the statement.

"Clearly, Lexa, you don't want to talk to me lately. You tune me out half of the time, and the other half is when you're trying to justify how weird you've been lately. I don't understand what this whole cool phase is. You're plenty cool the way you are, you know?" Anya insisted, sounding defeated all of the sudden.

Lexa softened, grabbing her best friend's hand and pulling her out of the school and out to the field in the back. Sports teams were meeting up in separate areas of it, but Lexa led Anya back to the treeline, and they sat there. It was their old hangout spot, from freshman year. "I know that I don't need all the weird party shit to be cool."

"What? Wasn't that the whole point of your crazy summer?"

Lexa cringed a little. "Yes. I've since realized that it was stupid – trying to change who I am doesn't make me cool. But this summer is what taughtme that. And the thing is, I haven't changed. I've just realized that there's more to me than what there once was. And personally, I feel much cooler just knowing that about myself. I like having more than one friend – no offense of course, you are my best friend."

"None taken. I have other friends."

"Luna?"

Anya's lip curled. "Hardly. Tristan – you know him? We started talking over the summer. And I mean, Lincoln."

"He's your brother, he hardly counts," Lexa claimed, shaking her head.

"You don't know what it's like to have a sibling, so shut it," Anya insisted playfully. "Anyway, you were saying, about knowing yourself and whatnot?"

"Yeah," Lexa said, sighing. "I just feel like... it's not a bad thing to want to go out and have fun."

"You like going to stupid bonfires with Luna?"

"I like hanging out with Luna," Lexa explained. "She's not a bad friend. And it's not like I go out and get wasted and stuff. It's slightly out of my comfort zone, yeah, but it feels kind of cool to be surrounded by all of the excitement. "Speaking of, Luna, by the way. She told me that you went out to a party with her last year."

Anya's face darkened. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Why didn't you ever talk about it? You act like hanging out with Luna is like catching the plague," Lexa said quietly, aware that her friend must have some serious qualms about what happened the night she went out.

"I don't remember it, Lexa," Anya hissed, before sighing and leaning against one of the trees. "I got so drunk that I don't remember it. I woke up in Luna's car without a shirt on. Found it by the lake, crumpled up and covered with mud. Neither of us know what happened that night. It makes me feel sick when I think about it."

"Luna must remember some of it. She said you had fun."

"I probably did, while I was plastered."

"Going out to a party doesn't have to end that way though, you know?"

"Obviously."

"So why are you so averse to hanging out with Luna again? Or me hanging out with Luna? I'm perfectly responsible, you know," Lexa said surely, a smile on her face as Anya let out a light chuckle.

"I told Lincoln about it," she admitted, "and... well, I don't really want to talk about it. He basically gave me a lot of life advice, and I just kind of decided to stay away from all of that stuff."

"He told you to do that?"

"No. But based on what he said, I decided," Anya repeated, shaking her head. "It's hard to explain, Lexa. But that's why it's been hard for me to watch you go out and act like you have to be someone else to be someone."

"Well... that might be why I started it all," Lexa said quietly, "but I received my some life advice from someone as well, and I've just... realized how stupid it was. But I don't want to go back to being that one dimensional person that I never truly was."

"I don't want you to either," Anya admitted. "Maybe I'll go out with you and Luna next time."

Lexa smiled softly at her friend. She was glad that they could talk through this all, because she'd felt her friendship with Anya straining lately, and her best friend was too important to her to let something like that happen. Suddenly, her thoughts drifted to another person that she probably needed to talk to – someone that she needed to apologize to, actually.

"What are you thinking about?" Anya asked, confusion shining in her dark eyes.

Lexa shook her head. "I have to... go. I need to go talk to someone."

"Wait, who? Luna?"

"No," Lexa answered, before hesitating and remembering what she'd told Luna that her best friend still didn't know about her. "I'll... tell you about it later. I really have to go." And with that, Lexa was hurrying back across the field and to the school parking lot for her car.

* * *

Clarke tucked her phone in between her shoulder and her ear as she made a cup of coffee for someone. The customer was looking at her quite distastefully, but Finn had called her about six times in the last five minutes, and that was somewhat alarming. "What the fuck, Finn? I'm working!"

"You and I need to talk sometime soon. I had classes this morning, or else I would've come to you before, but we really need to talk," he insisted.

"You couldn't have just texted me that?" Clarke demanded. "And what the fuck do we need to talk about?"

"Same thing as last week."

"What did we talk about last week?" Clarke asked, aware that she should probably remember. It wasn't her fault that she was distracted by work.

She put a lid on the cup of coffee and handed it to the customer as Finn began to talk again. "Lexa."

"What about her?" Clarke demanded. She was trying her best to not think about the younger brunette. Lexa had run out after kissing her, which had left Clarke to talk to Bellamy, who clearly disapproved of anything happening there. Not to mention, Lexa hadn't texted her or anything since then, and Clarke thought it might be best that she didn't text at all either.

It was slightly painful, though, as well as hurtful, that there was no texting going on. She couldn't help that she liked Lexa, which she'd definitely stopped denying by now. She'd also tried to tell herself, however, that Lexa was probably just confusing excitement of doing something different with actual feelings.

She knew it was bullshit, though, because of Lexa's pretty downright convincing confession that had taken place very shortly before the kiss. Then again, it might be that whole emotional conversation that had just made Lexa feel like kissing her. It didn't necessarily mean that she was genuinely interested in her.

The way you're interested in her, Clarke's mind told herself, before she shook her head and tried to focus on what Finn was now saying.

"About the fact that there's something going on between you and her," Finn stated. "Look, we'll talk about it when you're off. Can you come by the warehouse tonight? I'll be here until pretty late. No early classes tomorrow."

"Maybe," Clarke said, huffing in annoyance, "but I do have early classes tomorrow morning, in case you forgot."

"Just for a few minutes, Clarke," Finn insisted.

"Yeah. See you later," Clarke said, hanging up the phone and pocketing it. Just as she did, her blue eyes fell on the sight of a certain brunette entering The Bean. Green eyes immediately met hers, and for a second, Lexa looked relieved. Then, she looked tense again. Clarke didn't know how to feel.

She knew that her heart was suddenly beating faster, and their kiss was replaying in her mind, but there was no way that that was what she wassupposed to be feeling. Lexa came up to the counter and asked, "It's not busy much on Monday nights?"

"Are you surprised?" Clarke deadpanned.

"No."

"Alright. Black coffee?"

Lexa shook her head. "I came here to apologize to you."

"You know, there's this thing called a phone..."

"Clarke," Lexa interrupted her, and if it was anyone else, the blonde would've glared the hell out of her. But it wasn't anyone else, it was Lexa, and Clarke found her mouth snapping shut. "I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have kissed you. It was stupid, and I'm sorry. And I thought about everything you said, and you were right about the whole... trying to be someone else, and how I shouldn't do that."

Clarke knew that this was when she was supposed to speak, but she couldn't. She just stared at Lexa, unsure of how this apology made her feel.

"But I want you to know that I haven't... been pretending around you. I spent a lot of summer trying to be someone else, but I think it mostly just made me realize who I actually am, and who I want to be. And I'm sorry for kissing you, but I wasn't... pretending. And I know that you must be pissed off at me. You just... I mean, I just... felt like you were sending me a lot of mixed signals. Because you got mad at me for trying to get with Finn, which is super understandable, and then you gave me your number, a-and I think you kissed me back, and I just didn't understand –"

"I gave you my number," Clarke interrupted suddenly, surprised at herself, "because I wanted you to have my number. And I kissed you back, because I wanted to kiss you."

Lexa blinked. "Oh."

"And then I didn't text you, because it's probably a really bad idea to be kissing you."

Lexa nodded, and neither of them spoke again for a moment. "Um. When do you get off?"

"Soon, I've been working all day. But I have to go to the warehouse to talk to Finn when I do, so if you want to say something, say it now," Clarke stated.

"Talk to Finn about what?" Lexa asked, looking suddenly very concerned.

"You, apparently."

Lexa bit down on her lower lip, but she looked very nervous all of the sudden. "Oh."

"Should I be worried?" Many thoughts were crossing Clarke's mind now, but Lexa was furiously shaking her head.

"Me and my friend Luna went out to the lake last night, and Finn saw me there. He thought... he thought that I was trying to hook up with older guys again. Well, first he demanded to know whether something was going on between you and me, and then he told me that I'm apparently trying to charm you into something, and that I'm going to fuck you over. So, I assume that whatever it is that he wants to talk to you about follows that sort of idea," Lexa answered, her voice quieting at the end of her spiel.

"Ah, I see," Clarke said. Her own voice was pretty soft as well, and she understood how everyone could tell that she liked Lexa. She was softer around the girl.

"But I wasn't. Um, trying to hook up with anyone," Lexa clarified.

Clarke felt a smile come to her face. "Can't say I'm surprised." Lexa's entire body visibly relaxed as soon as Clarke let herself do so. Was she that obvious with how she was feeling?

Lexa averted her gaze for a moment, though, and then murmured, "But yeah, this... is probably a bad idea. I mean, not this. There's not a this, obviously, but I mean. Kissing you. It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it. You're right, it's probably a really bad idea." The dejected look in Lexa's usually bright green eyes left Clarke feeling pained.

"It probably is," Clarke agreed, planning on ending the discussion off there, but despite everything, she continued, "but... what if it's not?"

Lexa looked up again with wide eyes. "What?"

"Kissing isn't illegal, you know?"

"Clarke," Lexa protested, "all of your friends hate me. My best friend doesn't even know that I'm interested in women, let alone one that's over three years older than me. And I... there's no way that I could make you happy, Clarke."

"You don't know me well enough to know what makes me happy, Lexa," Clarke argued.

"So..." Lexa glanced away from the blonde for a moment, and then back at her. "Should we just... continue to get to know each other then? Maybe then I'll know what makes you happy at some point."

Clarke felt a smile come to her face, and she nodded. "I think that sounds like a good idea." A barista suddenly entered into The Bean, and Clarke breathed out a sigh of relief. She'd been working all day.

For a reason unknown to Clarke, Lexa waited for her to gather her things and start to leave the building before beginning to leave as well. "Are you still going to go talk to Finn?"

"I told him I would," Clarke answered. "It'll be fine, though. At least I know what to expect."

Lexa nodded, stopping as she realized that Clarke's car was parked right by the coffee shop. "So... I'll... text you?"

"If you're unsure," Clarke teased, "I'll be sure to text you." Lexa flushed, and the blonde couldn't resist leaning forward a bit and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Lexa's lips. She'd been quite content to leave it there, but the brunette turned her head, once again initiating real kiss. Clarke reciprocated for a moment, before realizing where they were and pulling away. No one was around, though, and she figured that was because it was a late Monday afternoon.

"Bye," Lexa said softly, and Clarke responded with a smile before stepping away and into her car.

At the warehouse, Clarke saw only Finn's truck and steeled herself before even entering the building. "Finn?" she called.

"I'm in the back!" he called back, and she figured that his door must be open if he'd heard her. She padded through the otherwise silent warehouse and made it to Finn's room quickly, finding him sitting on his couch and fiddling his thumbs. "I swear I haven't been doing this since I called you," he promised, chuckling, "just since you walked in."

"I believe you," she said, shaking her head. "What's up?"

"I saw Lexa yesterday. At the bonfire," Finn stated.

"Okay?"

"And she kissed me."

"No, she didn't."

Finn frowned. "You're right, she didn't."

"So what the fuck?"

Crossing his arms, he insisted, "I was trying to see what kind of reaction that would get from you."

"I already spoke to Lexa about what you talked to her about yesterday at the bonfire," Clarke admitted, leaning against the wall of his shop, "and I think that you should just leave her alone. You don't know her."

"No, Clarke, but I know you," Finn said, hopping up from the couch.

"Clearly not well enough."

Spinning on her heel, she began marching back through and out of the warehouse.

She didn't want to hear it.


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke spent Monday night wondering what the fuck she'd been thinking.

Standing in front of Lexa, thinking of abandoning all chances of them having... anything beyond friendship in between them, there hadn't been a clearer option to her than to just roll with it.

Clarke wasn't usually brave, at least she didn't feel brave. She rarely did things outside of her comfort zone – granted, her comfort zone had become rather broad in the time since she finished high school. She thought that maybe now, after talking to Lexa, she might feel brave. It was quite the opposite, though, because something else was dawning on her.

She was twenty-one, with her life only recently starting to be put together, and Lexa was seventeen, with a bright, sparkling future ahead of her. It felt selfish of her to want to try anything with the brunette, and it also felt like any and all consequences would be negative.

Clarke wanted to call Lexa now, and call take backs. She wanted to tell Lexa that she deserved better than someone who had started college years late and then only decided to get her associates degree. She wanted to tell Lexa to not forget the things she'd learned during her rebellious stage, but to not let them dominate who she was. She wanted Lexa to forget about her, finish high school, and live the life that she was meant to live.

But Clarke wouldn't be that person.

Lexa had already expressed the reasoning behind her recent antics, and Clarke wouldn't be the person who did what everyone else in Lexa's life was trying to do – tell her what it was that she wanted, what she needed, and what to do. Clarke wouldn't make a decision that would affect Lexa without talking to the younger girl first.

She just wished that the whole situation didn't feel so wrong. On top of the fact that Clarke's friends, at least the two who were suspicious about her and Lexa in the first place, felt like it was wrong, she was starting to get the idea that pursuing anything with Lexa would just hold the brunette back.

Unlike her friends, she wasn't concerned for herself right now.

It was very late that night when she managed to fall asleep, only to have to wake up a few hours later for her first class of the semester.

She forced any lingering thoughts of Lexa from her mind as she made her way to campus. She'd figure it out.

* * *

Lexa, on the other hand, had slept easily once again. She was relieved that Clarke hadn't been pissed at her for the kiss, if not slightly surprised, and also quite happy that Clarke hadn't dismissed any possibility of them having any sort of relationship. While Lexa felt the same reservation that Clarke had expressed – that it was just a bad idea – she wasn't exactly sure how bad it could be.

It was the first week of September, and Lexa's birthday was in October. She was nearly eighteen, and she liked Clarke. Clarke clearly liked her as well.

But Lexa had always been shy, and despite her tendency to peek out of her shell lately, she'd been way too scared to openly state that she didn't think that it was a bad idea when Clarke had said that it was. Rather, she'd voiced to the blonde that she agreed with her. At least that way, it would've been less embarrassing if Clarke had turned the whole idea down.

It made her feel light, and happy, how it'd worked out.

At school on Tuesday, Anya didn't question how joyful she was, or ask for an explanation as to where Lexa had gone after running off from school the previous day. Maybe she didn't really remember that Lexa had promised an explanation, and Lexa, honestly, was glad. Telling Anya that she was pretty sure that she was gay would be difficult in and of itself, but tacking on that she really liked a girl who was almost four years older than her wouldn't help.

The idea of telling anyone, at the moment, kind of scared her, though that may have come from the fact that the only people she was considering in that 'anyone' was her mom and Anya.

Luna approached her after lunch at school, knocking her elbow into the brunette's. "Did you talk to Anya?"

"About?" Lexa asked, panicked for a moment and wondering how Luna had been reading her recent thoughts.

"Going to a party with us sometime," Luna replied, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah. She said maybe," Lexa said, relieved. Her friend gave her a slightly confused look at her tone, and then realization seemed to come to her.

"Did you think I meant about your little... secret?"

Lexa rolled her eyes. "If you say it that way, it sounds weird."

"Well, you've been smiling and grinning all day like an idiot. So I'd assume that something interesting happened between you and the hot guy's friend."

"Interesting, yes."

"Good?"

"Probably," Lexa answered, aware that another smile was coming to her face. Luna snorted and shook her head.

"Better keep that smile in check if you don't want Anya to get suspicious," Luna teased. "I'll see you later." Lexa nodded, though Luna's words brought got her to frown rather than smile at all. She hated keeping things from her best friend, but it seemed to be something that she was doing a lot more lately.

Silently promising herself that she would tell Anya, at some point, she forced herself to relax and went off to class.

At the end of the school day, Lexa found herself tagging along with Anya to The Bean. They took their separate cars of course, and ended up settled in the corner of the coffee shop nursing their respective drinks as they started doing homework.

Lexa was quickly distracted, however, as a text suddenly came through her phone.

 **From Clarke – Hey, cutie.**

 **To Clarke – Hey! How's your day?**

 **From Clarke – Shit, but what else could you really expect? My last semester of classes started today.**

 **To Clarke – At least it's your last.**

 **From Clarke – True. How about your day?**

 **To Clarke – It's been pretty good. :) I'm doing homework at The Bean right now, with my best friend Anya.**

 **From Clarke – I was thinking about putting up a picture of you behind the register with a note: "If this girl shows up, just make her the most boring coffee ever because for some reason she thinks it tastes good."**

Lexa felt her lips turn up into a small smile.

 **To Clarke – If you want a picture of me, you don't have to come up with some scheme like that, just ask ;)**

The reply took a moment longer than the others had, and Lexa wondered if she'd caught the blonde off guard.

 **From Clarke – Hah, thanks, but I'd rather not get arrested for child pornography before I even get to graduate college. X**

Lexa's jaw dropped.

 **To Clarke – THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.**

 **From Clarke – Watch where you put those winking face then, cutie ;)**

"Who the fuck are you texting?" Anya asked suddenly, and Lexa jumped, having nearly forgotten that her best friend was with her. She felt her face turn bright red as she realized that she'd been smiling like an idiot throughout most of her texting conversation with Clarke.

"Um, a friend."

"A cute friend?" Anya asked, grinning.

"Maybe."

Anya raised an eyebrow. "Does your maybe cute friend have a name?"

"Nope," Lexa answered, biting down on her lower lip and allowing herself to look back back at her phone to type out a response despite Anya.

 **To Clarke – Oh my bad, clearly you are far wiser is the ways of winking faces.**

"Okay, nameless cute friend," Anya muttered, rolling her eyes. "Where'd you meet him?"

"A place."

"Lexa," Anya whined, "come on, tell me."

Lexa felt her phone vibrate again, but she forced herself to not look down at the new text message until she'd gotten Anya's focus on something else. "I don't want to jinx it," she tried, hoping that the reasoning would help. "If I start talking about it, I'm afraid it won't work out."

Anya gave her a careful, thoughtful gaze, and then she sighed. "Okay, fine." Her gaze fell back down onto her homework, and Lexa continued to ignore the papers spread in front of her to look back at her phone.

 **From Clarke – Indeed, I am. Anyway. I've gotta go do some painting to try and forget college and stress and whatnot. Talk later. X**

Lexa frowned at the abruptness of the goodbye, but she didn't linger on it, instead just putting down her phone and trying to focus on her homework.

A couple hours later found Lexa and Anya both in their respective homes, but Lexa didn't say there for very long. She was hyper aware of the fact that Clarke was at the warehouse, and Lexa quite liked being there with her. However, she was slightly scared that Finn might be there as well. She had forgotten to be concerned about it until she was already driving up to the warehouse, though, and was greatly relieved when she saw one car parked in front of the building. Clarke's.

Smiling softly to herself, Lexa parked her own car and clambered out. She'd noticed throughout her visits here that when anyone was at the warehouse, the large, sliding, front door remained open. She thought that it was slightly dangerous to leave it open, but it wasn't like many people came this way anyway, especially not with the intention of robbing a random, seemingly abandoned warehouse.

Lexa tried to walk lightly on her feet as she entered the building. She knew, by now, how to traverse the area fairly well. At least, she knew how to get to Clarke's room and Finn's, since it was just down the same hallway a little ways.

When she made it to the threshold between the hallway and Clarke's art room, Lexa leaned against the wall and gazed at the blonde for a moment. Music was playing, and Clarke hadn't realized that anyone was behind her. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and she was wearing short shorts and a loose t-shirt that Lexa guessed was covered in paint on the front. She was currently more staring at her painting than actually adding to it, so Lexa took it as a perfect time to interject. "Hey," she called, causing the blonde to look over her shoulder in surprise.

"Lexa," Clarke said, sounding quite caught off guard, "hey, what are you doing here?" She set down her paintbrush and went to where her computer was playing music, turning the volume down.

Lexa opened her mouth to answer, before slamming it shut again. What was she doing there? "Ah. I was bored."

Clarke smiled, rolling her eyes and making her way back to the easel. "Am I your only source of entertainment?"

"No, but you're one of my favorites," Lexa answered, her heart pounding in her chest despite the fleeting moment of bravery. Clarke hummed thoughtfully, but said nothing. She was looking at the painting in front of her, but she hadn't picked up her brush again. Lexa suddenly felt concern building up in herself, and she heard herself blurt, "Are you okay?"

"We shouldn't... do this."

Lexa's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I was wrong, and this is a bad idea."

"Why?"

Clarke spun around, looking exasperated. "Lexa, you're seventeen."

"I turn eighteen in less than two months," Lexa argued, thinking that this argument was getting weaker and weaker. All her age meant was that she and Clarke couldn't have sex. And since she wasn't planning on telling her mom anything until she was over eighteen – for various reasons – there wasn't really any legal issue.

"It's not about that, Lexa," Clarke insisted, sounding as though this conversation pained her. "It's about the fact that you have such a good life ahead of you, and being with me at all, in whatever way, is going to hold you back. And you're going to resent me someday if I let that happen."

"If you let that happen?" Lexa demanded, crossing her arms. "Clarke, it's not like you're the only one in this. I'm here too."

"I can't hold you back, Lexa. I won't let myself do that to you."

"You won't. I know what I want out of my life – to some extent – and I wouldn't ever choose to do something that I thought would throw my whole future up to chance. And last I checked, dating you wouldn't do that," Lexa insisted. "Look, Clarke, I get why you think this is a bad idea. There are probably a lot of reasons, actually, but that is not one of them. I haven't known you for very long, but I really like you, and I'm not letting you toss that aside like it doesn't matter because you think that you're somehow holding me back."

Lexa dared a huge step forward, and Clarke looked surprised, her eyes wide.

"Now, if you want to tell me that dating me is a bad idea because your friends really wouldn't like it, or because my being a minor actually really bothers you even though I'm almost eighteen, that's fine, and I'll leave you alone," Lexa breathed out. "Or if you want to say that it's a bad idea because you don't think you like me enough to risk anything... I'll accept that and walk away."

She took another step forward, and she was surprised at how the roles had changed. She'd been intimidated by Clarke a few weeks ago, but now, the blonde was was looking at her with wide eyes. She wasn't quite fearful, which was obviously a good thing, and it was probably mostly surprise shining out of her bright blue eyes. But Lexa thought she looked like she felt smaller all of the sudden.

Lexa definitely felt far more courageous than she ever had, fighting against her fast beating heart and her nerves. She searched Clarke's eyes, waiting for the response. Her nerves began to become a bit more prominent, and she tried her best to swallow them down. The action seemed to break Clarke's attention away from her eyes, and suddenly, blue eyes were gazing at her lips.

Lexa unconsciously wet them, and Clarke made eye contact with her once again for a split second, before taking a step and meeting Lexa's lips with her own. Their lips moved together in sync, both wanting and needing the kiss. Clarke's body leaned into Lexa's a little bit, and the brunette did her best to not let the feeling distract her from the kiss, which was as far as anything could go anyway.

The contact broke slightly for a moment, and Clarke murmured, "Fine, you fucking stubborn teenager."

Lexa grinned, giggling a little bit as Clarke brought their lips back together.


	11. Chapter 11

On Friday, Clarke was more than happy to finally not have any classes. Sure, it meant that she had to work for most of the day, but she didn't mind that as much.

Her week had only gotten better after talking to Lexa on Tuesday. She'd forced herself to relax about everything – for Lexa – and was able to realize that Lexa had made some good points. Plus, Clarke didn't even want to think about what it would be like to see Lexa and have to force the butterflies away.

She wouldn't ever admit it, but she practically melted when she saw the brunette. Her stomach would fill up with butterflies, and then she would see that smile spread across Lexa's face and she would just melt. It didn't bother her, either, that her reaction to the younger girl was so soft. She was even beginning to think that maybe it was a good thing for her to be soft around someone for once – to open herself up. After all, Lexa had done that for her, hadn't she?

She hadn't seen Lexa since Tuesday, however, because Wednesday and Thursday were the busiest days for Clarke when it came to school. She also worked both of those nights, and she was sure that Lexa couldn't go to The Bean every night. She did, after all, have to do schoolwork. Luckily, texting had become a norm for them.

Clarke also had homework for her classes of course, She'd decided that maybe Friday was the best day for it, though, because she had work starting late in the morning and ending late in the evening, which gave her the early morning and the night to knock out her homework and free up some space in her weekend.

She'd done over half of it that morning, and so she was quite content as she worked through the afternoon. Especially when it began to get nearer to the end of her shift, when Lexa got out of school and texted her.

 **From Lexa – Are you painting today?**

 **To Lexa – No :( I have to finish my homework today so I can chill tomorrow and Sunday.**

 **From Lexa – Lame. Can I see you tomorrow?**

 **To Lexa – Yes. And don't act like you don't have homework to do too, cutie. X**

 **From Lexa – It's still lame! Aren't you working right now?**

 **To Lexa – Yes...?**

 **From Lexa – So work, don't text.**

 **To Lexa – You texted me first ;)**

The brunette didn't text again after that, and Clarke rolled her eyes even as a smile appeared on her face. Texting Lexa wasn't as fulfilling as seeing her in person, of course, but it was always nice to at least converse with her in some way.

When she got off work, and had driven herself back to her apartment, she sprawled across her bed with the last of her homework waiting to be done. She thought about texting Lexa again, but knew that doing so would just cause her to not finish her homework, and that would mean more weekend work. So, pushing the brunette out of her thoughts as best as she could, she started finishing her homework.

Saturday morning, she woke up to a new text from Lexa.

 **From Lexa – What time will you be painting today?**

 **To Lexa – Probably just all afternoon.**

 **From Lexa – :D**

Clarke smiled at her phone, something she couldn't remember doing in so long. She wasn't sure how Lexa could get her to smile so easily in person, let alone over a silly text message.

Suddenly, her phone started ringing, and she saw Octavia's name flash across the screen.

"Hey," she said as she answered it.

"You gonna be at the warehouse today? I have a surprise!" Octavia exclaimed, and the blonde could practically hear her grinning.

Clarke climbed off of her bed and started toward her closet. "Yep, I'll be there in an hour probably. Just woke up. What surprise?"

"You'll see it straightaway when you walk in," Octavia said vaguely. "I felt really bad about you doing so much stuff for this place and all of us. And also the fact that Finn's been so mad at you lately – and obviously I don't have to apologize for that asshole, but basically I know you've been really stressed by us lately. So I decorated the front entrance to the warehouse. It looks almost homey now."

Clarke felt herself smile. "Thanks, O, that's really sweet. I'll see it soon. Are you gonna be there for a while?"

"Oh yeah," she replied, "probably all day. Gonna do my homework here and then when Rae gets here later, we're having an Orange Is The New Black marathon in Bell's room? You gonna join?"

"Probably not," Clarke answered, feigning disappointment. "Is Bell not gonna be around?"

"Oh no, he'll be here for most of today as well," Octavia admitted, "but he'll be writing. So he's just gonna stick his headphones on and bust his eardrums with whatever music he's listening to these days. But you're sure you don't want to watch with us?:

"I'm sure, sorry," Clarke insisted. "Okay well, I've gotta get ready, so I'll see you soon."

Sure enough, an hour later, Clarke found herself pulling up in front of the warehouse. She could tell just by the cars parked who was there – Bellamy, Octavia, Jasper and Monty. It was likely that Monty was working on his music stuff and Jasper was just hanging out with him. He and Octavia didn't really have a specific thing that they did in their rooms, aside from chill and do homework occasionally.

Clarke climbed out of her car and as she approached the warehouse, she immediately saw the decorating that Octavia had done to the entrance area. There was a rug across the floor, as well as curtains hanging over the arches that exited either side of the room – into Octavia's space on the right, and Bellamy's on the left. There were a few old beanbag chairs against the wall, next to an old table that was covered in many of their goofy and weird group pictures, as well as Octavia's many selfies, which she'd forced everyone to be in at some point.

Clarke smiled, making her way into Octavia's room. "Hey, O, I really like the entrance. It's cute."

"I know," Octavia agreed, looking up from her homework with a grin on her face. "I figured that it's not too done up and it's chill like all of us."

"I think more than one of us are not very chill," Clarke said, smirking.

Octavia laughed, nodding in agreement. "True. Well, I've got loads of homework. Remind me why I decided to major in journalism instead of something easy like you and Bellamy?"

"No idea," Clarke answered, chuckling and shaking her head. "Have fun with that. See you later." She continued through to her own room, passing Monty's, where he and Jasper were talking about some video game or another. She gave them a brief hello before continuing through, and finally found herself in her familiar art room.

Sighing happily, she got to work.

It was a couple hours later, after Raven had already gotten to the warehouse and begged Clarke once again to binge Orange Is The New Black with her and Octavia, that Clarke began wondering when Lexa was going to show up. She found herself anticipating it, and every time she heard any movement from the warehouse, she glanced over her shoulder. So far, though, no Lexa.

It was probably nearing four in the afternoon when the familiar voice suddenly spoke out behind her, "Hey." Clarke smiled at her easel, setting down her paintbrush and turning around to see Lexa. The brunette had seated herself on Clarke's table, with a cup of coffee in one hand and second cup sitting next to her. "I got you coffee."

"Good, I might've had to turn you away if you hadn't brought me something," Clarke teased, making her way to the table. "You know, I did put chairs at the table for like, sitting purposes."

"Mm, that's weird. Why would you do that?" Lexa asked, smiling bashfully. Clarke rolled her eyes, fighting a grin as she picked up her coffee and took a sip. She really wasn't picky when it came to coffee, and she would drink it black if she had to, but it made her feel good to know that Lexa thought to get her something good. "Have you been here a while?"

"Since eleven I think," Clarke answered. "Octavia called me and wanted me to look at the entrance to the place. Apparently she did that all either last night or this morning."

"It looks nice."

Clarke nodded. "She's very proud of it." She took another drink of her coffee as Lexa's gaze shifted around the room a little bit, landing on Clarke's second easel. She'd started a new painting that morning, though she was nearly finished with the one she'd been working on. The new one was the first one in a while that wasn't abstract. It was an attempt at a landscape, but having never done one before, she wasn't so confident in it.

"Don't you still need to finish that one?" Lexa asked, nodding to the first easel.

"Yeah," Clarke confirmed, sighing a little. "It started to get boring. I'll finish it at some point. I wanted to do something different."

"They both look awesome."

"Mm. The new one isn't very good," Clarke argued, shaking her head, "but I appreciate the flattery."

Lexa flushed a little. "I was being serious, not trying to flatter you."

"Mmhmm," Clarke answered sarcastically, setting her coffee cup down and smiling softly at the brunette, "whatever you say."

"You're literally so ridiculous."

"Literally?"

Lexa narrowed her eyes, attempting to glare at the blonde. "Don't mock me."

"I would never," Clarke denied, grinning now and not trying to hold it back. She pushed herself away from the table and headed back toward her easel.

As she went back to painting, Lexa asked, "It just occurred to me... does this place have a bathroom?"

Clarke snickered. "Yes. Two. Apparently, the old owner had them added in because he had plans to rent the building out as a party place or something. He never really finished any of it other than the bathrooms, but since they've hardly been used, they're actually fairly clean. We don't just sit up here for hours and pee in the bushes."

She could practically see Lexa roll her eyes, despite being turned the other way. "I didn't think you did, which was why I asked."

"Mm."

"Do you always paint?"

"Sometimes I draw, especially with charcoal," Clarke answered. "But lately I've been mostly painting. I guess you can blame the painting class I took last year for that. I sort of fell in love with it."

"Will you ever try to sell any of it?"

"Yeah, actually I'm trying to get Bellamy to help me set up an etsy account and start listing my pieces. He's been busy, though, with school and his own stuff," Clarke admitted. "I'll get around to it at some point. I'm not sure how many people would buy any of it, though."

"I'm sure there would be plenty," Lexa insisted, and Clarke just smiled.

"That would be nice."

They spent about an hour like that, conversation flowing easily between them as Clarke painted and Lexa sat on her table. Every now and then, Clarke would set down her brush to go and take another drink of her coffee, only to end up lingering away from her artwork in order to be near Lexa for a little while.

But after that hour, she got bored of painting while Lexa was in the room, and she cleaned off her paintbrushes for good. She faced Lexa, who was looking at her with wide green eyes, and smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"Possibly," Lexa answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Bellamy has food hidden in his fridge – he gave me permission to steal. You want one?"

"Sure."

"I'll be back then," Clarke said, slipping out of her room and heading to the front of the warehouse. As she entered Bellamy's room, she noted that he wasn't there, but Raven and Octavia were sprawled across his couch, Netflix open on his TV.

"Hey, Clarke! You joining us?"

"Nope," she answered, quickly crouching in front of Bellamy's mini fridge and unlocking it with the little keypad that kept it stuck closed.

"Hey, what the fuck, you know the pass code?" Octavia demanded, hopping off the couch. "He wouldn't even tell me, and I'm his sister."

"Yeah, well, you'd just steal all his beer," Clarke insisted, smirking and shaking her head as she grabbed two of the prepackaged sandwiches out of the fridge. Before Octavia could jump over to the fridge, she shut it and clicked the lock back together purposefully.

"Hey, tell me the code," Octavia whined, her and Raven both on Clarke's heels as she slipped back out of the room. "Please, Clarke? I decorated this whole front area!"

"Yeah, to repay me. So why should I repay you for repaying me? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Clarke asked, rolling her eyes. "Don't you have to some episodes to watch or something?"

"Why do you need two sandwiches?" Raven asked.

"Go watch your show," Clarke huffed out dismissively, approaching her room.

"You should watch with us."

"No."

"Why not?" Raven questioned, just as Clarke turned into her room. Her friends froze in the doorway as they realized that someone else was in the room – Lexa, to be specific. The brunette suddenly looked very shy, and Clarke tried not to snap at her friends to tell them to go away. Instead, she passed one of the packaged sandwiches to Lexa and then looked pointedly at her friends.

"Hey, Lexa," Octavia said, sounding surprised. "Haven't seen you here since... last Tuesday..." Her eyes jumped up to meet Clarke's questioningly, and she knew that she was thinking back to Clarke and Finn arguing about the nature of her relationship with the younger girl.

"She was here this week too actually," Clarke commented, trying to keep Lexa from having to deal with her crazy friends.

"Don't you have like... school?" Raven asked.

Lexa raised an eyebrow, a half smile appearing on her face as she answered, "Not on Saturday, surprisingly enough." Clarke smirked.

"Right..."

"Well, you can both join us watching Orange Is The New Black if you want," Octavia offered, surprising both Clarke and Raven. "C'mon, Clarke, don't you wanna fangirl over hot lesbians with us?"

Clarke saw Lexa's eyebrows raise a little in amusement, and Clarke rolled her eyes. "Maybe later, O."

"At least give us Bellamy's fridge code?" Raven asked hopefully, and Clarke shook her head once again. "Ugh. Fine. Let's go, Octavia." The two of them left, finally, and Clarke let out a breath and sat down at her table, opening her sandwich.

Lexa got off of the table and took a seat in one of the chairs as well.

"See, they don't hate you," Clarke commented, but Lexa rolled her eyes.

"They don't like me, though."

Clarke shrugged. "They don't even know you."

"I'm just glad Finn's not here. I can't figure out what his whole deal is," Lexa muttered, opening her sandwich as well and taking a bite of it.

"Yeah, I'm honestly not sure," Clarke admitted with a sigh. "He's... I really don't know. I think he's trying to be protective, maybe because he feels bad about what almost happened with you and him. But I wouldn't stress about it. He'll get over it, whatever it is."

"I just don't want your friends to hate me."

"They don't, Lexa," Clarke insisted, "and if they did, they'd stop, because I like you, and that's what matters, isn't it?"

Lexa's cheeks turned a little pink as she nodded. Suddenly, the brunette's phone vibrated, and she grabbed it reluctantly. "Apparently, I'm being dragged down to the lake for a bonfire by two of my friends."

"Sounds like fun," Clarke commented, trying not to frown.

"Do you never go to them?" Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head. "I used to, a lot, but not usually anymore. Not unless Bellamy goes, because he doesn't usually get drunk as fuck, and the only time I can force myself to not go crazy with drinking is when someone else is maintaining themselves as well. And I hate getting drunk. You'll probably find Finn there, though."

"Ugh, maybe I won't go then."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "You should go."

"It's weird that I'm going to a college party and you're not," Lexa stated thoughtfully, propping her chin up on her hand.

"Not everyone in college is a party goer you know," Clarke said teasingly, smiling.

"I guess you're right." They continued to make conversation as they finished their sandwiches, and then Lexa sighed and stood up. "I should go, before Anya or Luna start physically looking for me."

"Lame," Clarke muttered, standing as well. "Don't get drunk."

"Who said I was going to drink?" Lexa asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

"You go to college parties and don't drink? C'mon. The first time I got plastered I was seventeen."

Lexa shrugged. "I had a few drinks at a couple of the parties I've been to. But as far as getting drunk... I'm not sure if it would be a good idea, given the company I'm usually with."

Clarke hummed thoughtfully, before shaking her head. "Sometimes I guess I just really don't understand you."

"I'm not that hard to understand."

"Maybe not to you," Clarke said, amused as she took a step closer to the brunette. "Have fun at the bonfire."

"Mm, okay," Lexa said, closing the space in between them with a soft kiss. Clarke hummed contently against Lexa's lips, sliding her tongue through them bravely. Lexa's arms wrapped around Clarke's neck as the kiss deepened, and Clarke wouldn't rather be doing anything else.

When she pulled away from the kiss, she murmured, "Ah, when's your birthday, by the way?"

Lexa's giggle was low, and the blonde nearly groaned in annoyance as the brunette bit her lower lip. "Tenth of October."

"I guess that's not very far away."

"No, it's not," Lexa agreed. "I'll text you later."

"Okay," Clarke agreed, frowning a little when Lexa's arms dropped back to her sides. She leaned in once more, though, surprising the blonde with another quick, sweet kiss, and then finally took a step backwards.

"Bye."

"Bye," Clarke returned, smiling sweetly at the brunette as she backed out of the room, before turning and walking out.


	12. Chapter 12

"Alright, Clarke. Spill," Octavia demanded, interrupting Clarke's painting about twenty minutes after Lexa left. "Is something going on between you and Lexa?"

"Maybe."

"Clarke," Octavia huffed out, "are you serious? She's seventeen."

"I'm well aware," Clarke snapped, spinning around. "I'm not an idiot, you know? I'm not going to do something that's going to get me arrested."

"You may not be sleeping with her, but if her parents find out that you guys are seeing each other, they could get you into big trouble anyway," Octavia insisted. "C'mon, you were all over Finn about her being underage, and suddenly it's not a problem?"

"He was going to sleep with her!" Clarke exclaimed. "I have no intention of doing so until she's no longer underage, firstly. Secondly, I highly doubt that Lexa's going to mention me to her mother at all, at least not before she turns eighteen. Which, by the way, is not very far from now. I know what I'm doing."

"Do you, though?" Octavia demanded, crossing her arms.

"What's going on here?" Bellamy suddenly interrupted, appearing behind his sister.

Clarke's eyes flickered closed, and she sighed as Octavia replied with, "Oh, we're just discussing Clarke apparent new relationship with a teenager."

"Wait, I thought you said nothing was going on between you and Lexa?"

"Nothing was going on!" Clarke exclaimed.

Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows. "And a week later, something is?"

"Look, you guys. I like Lexa. Period. I'm not going to not date her just because she's under eighteen. She'll be eighteen in less than two months, and contrary to popular belief, it is definitely possible to have a relationship with someone without having sex. No matter how much you try to argue with me about it, I'm not going to not date her because of her age. Got it?" Clarke snapped. "I get that you guys just want me to be careful, or whatever, but I know what I'm doing. You think I've spent the past couple of weeks just skipping around not thinking about consequences? I knowhow consequences work, I'm not a kid."

"She's a kid."

"She's not!" Clarke exclaimed, exasperated. "Legally maybe, but not for much longer. And neither of you have even had a conversation with her. Couldn't you at least hold back on the judgment until you've gotten to know her? You both know that I thought she was just some rebellious teenager when I first met her, and clearly I don't feel that way anymore."

"Clarke, you have to see that this is a bad idea..."

"Hey guys," Finn's voice interrupted suddenly, "there's a bonfire at the lake tonight. You all coming?"

"No," Clarke said abruptly. "You shouldn't go either. Don't you have a shit ton of homework to do?"

"What do you think I've been doing all day?" Finn asked, and Clarke caught Octavia looking at her suspiciously. Clarke was not one to stop her friends from partying when they wanted to, at least not for a good reason.

"Come on, Clarke, didn't you finish your homework yesterday?" Bellamy asked, seeming to at least understand that the blonde didn't want to talk about Lexa around Finn. "You should go to the bonfire with us."

"You're going?" she asked, deflating slightly. Like she'd told Lexa, she only ever went if Bellamy was going as well.

He nodded. "Come on. It'll get all our minds off of the latest drama and shit."

"Agreed," Octavia said. "I'll go grab everyone else and then we can head over. Who's our sober driver?"

"Me," Bellamy offered, shrugging. "Be at my car in five." Octavia and Finn disappeared, leaving Clarke and Bellamy alone in her art room.

"I don't want to go."

"Why not?"

"Lexa's going to be there."

"So?"

Clarke crossed her arms. "So, the last time Lexa was at a bonfire, Finn accused her of charming her way into my pants – even though we obviously haven't slept together."

"But you're together?"

"Not... officially."

Bellamy sighed. "You sure you know what you're doing?" Clarke nodded. "Okay, then I support you. I want you to be happy, and everyone else wants that too. That's all we want. It'll sink it, the idea of you dating Lexa. Don't worry."

"I... don't want to tell Finn yet," Clarke said quietly. "Could you please just not mention it to anyone who doesn't already know? AKA, anyone other than you and Octavia."

"Of course," Bellamy agreed. "Now come to the bonfire with us. It's a big lake, you probably won't even see Lexa."

Clarke hesitated for a moment, but then she sighed and relented. "Fine."

* * *

 **From Clarke – Looks like I'll be at the bonfire after all. My GREAT friend Finn has decided that we're all going.**

Lexa's eyes widened slightly as she read the text. She was currently at Luna's house, where the other brunette was digging through her closet to find something "sexy" to wear. Anya, far less enthusiastic, was sitting nervously on Luna's bed. Lexa was sitting at Luna's desk – which was very clearly never used for anything other than a storage space – looking at her phone.

 **To Clarke – You sound very excited lol.**

 **From Clarke – Oh yes, I am overjoyed. I'm especially happy that Octavia and Bellamy both just cornered me to ask whether or not there's something going on between us. Am I really that obvious?**

Lexa smiled at the phone.

 **To Clarke – Your eyes probably give you away.**

 **From Clarke – What about my eyes...?**

 **To Clarke – I can't tell if you're genuinely confused, or fishing for compliments.**

 **From Clarke – Hmm. You know how much I love flattery, but I'm actually confused this time. X**

 **To Clarke – Your eyes smile a lot, at least around me, and I've noticed that they kind of portray what you're feeling. Which I guess is fair, considering how much you usually try to contain your feelings.**

 **From Clarke – I don't do that.**

 **To Clarke – Yes, you do. Especially around your friends.**

 **From Clarke – Ugh. Maybe you're right.**

 **To Clarke – Of course I'm right ;)**

 **From Clarke – Excuse me for thinking that four years of being out of high school might have given me some extra general knowledge.**

 **To Clarke – Maybe all that went to your art instead. X**

 **From Clarke – Here comes the flattery again.**

Lexa hadn't realized that she'd been smiling until she heard Anya groan. "You're texting that guy again."

Luna's attention was drawn over to Lexa in confusion. "What guy?"

"No guy," Lexa insisted, locking her phone and setting it down.

Anya shook her head. "She's been texting someone all week, and she's always smiling this big goofy smile. It's insufferable, and she won't talk about him at all."

Lexa huffed. "It's not a big deal." Luna's eyes were searching Lexa, as if trying to confirm what she was thinking, and Lexa tried to flash her a look of confirmation.

"Hmm." Luna looked back at her closet. "You guys wanna borrow something so that people will be staring at all of us?"

"I'm good," Anya declined quickly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Suit yourself. I'll take all the attention if you guys are sure."

 **To Clarke – You're easy to flatter. X**

 **From Clarke – Am not.**

 **To Clarke – Whatever you say ;)**

Half an hour later found them pulling into the lake's parking lot and climbing out of the car. They could hear the bonfire party already in full swing, with music blaring loudly and the sound of college party goers shouting and laughing. "Maybe I shouldn't go," Anya muttered, but Luna looped both of her arms with the other girls and started tugging them down to the lake.

"Come on, Anya. If Lexa can have fun, so can you."

Anya rolled her eyes. "Lexa and I aren't the same person." Luna ignored the statement, and a moment later they were on the lake beach, surrounded by people already drunk out of their minds.

"This makes the Sunday party seem tame," Lexa commented, glancing around and not able to help the fact that she was looking for a certain blonde in the crowd.

"Oh yeah," Luna agreed, smirking. "Come on, let's get some booze."

Lexa let Luna lead her along with Anya to one of the kegs, taking the red cup that was handed to her, and sipping. She briefly recalled her conversation with Clarke earlier, and a smile peeked her lips for a moment at the thought. She took another small sip of the alcohol in her cup and told herself that she wouldn't get a refill at all throughout the night.

Anya surprised her, taking down a whole cup full of alcohol within the first ten minutes, and Luna's face lit up at seeing her do so. However, Lexa stopped Luna from filling her glass again already, naturally concerned for her best friend. She wasn't sure why Anya suddenly wanted to drink so much after being so adamant about not coming to the bonfire in the first place.

It was some amount of time later, when Lexa was halfway through her drink, that the three of them met up with one of Luna's friends – Echo. Echo was a freshman in college, apparently, and dragged them over to a group of older college kids that she'd been hanging around. Among them was Anya's brother, Lincoln, who looked quite averse to his younger sister being at the party. He didn't vocalize this opinion, however, and barely acknowledged Anya or Lexa for their sake.

Lexa began to zone out of whatever conversation had begun between her friends and the older group after a little while. She sipped her drink slowly, looking around the lake area curiously. She wondered why it was that she didn't feel out of place here, when she knew only a handful of people and was far younger than most of them.

Suddenly, her gaze caught on a familiar face – Bellamy. She wasn't sure what to think about him, but it seemed like he was one of Clarke's better friends of her group, so she did her best to assume that he was a good person. Next to him, she saw a very drunk Octavia, laughing at something that a seemingly pretty drunk Finn had just said. And then there, rolling her eyes at her friends, was the blonde that Lexa had been unconsciously searching for.

Lexa's breath immediately caught in her throat, because Clarke had changed out of her art clothes – obviously – into skinny jeans and a clinging top. Her cleavage was very visible, and Lexa felt guilty all of the sudden, soaking up the blonde's appearance, but also rather frustrated at her mother for not having given birth to her two months earlier.

"Is that her?" Luna suddenly whispered into her ear, causing the brunette to jump and avert her eyes from Clarke.

"Uh. Yeah."

"Damn. Too bad you can't sleep with her yet, she's fucking hot."

"I know," Lexa muttered in agreement, feeling Luna's presence retract and allowing herself to continue soaking in the blonde.

Blue eyes suddenly met hers, and Lexa felt her entire face flush as she realized that she'd been caught. Clarke flashed her a knowing smile, and then sent her a wink, causing Lexa's heart to skip two or three beats in a row. She swallowed thickly, sipping her drink and wishing that she could go over to the older girl.

"Who are you staring at?" Anya's voice suddenly asked, and Lexa jumped again in surprise, immediately tearing her gaze away from Clarke.

"No one."

"Ooh, that guy?" Anya asked, and Lexa followed her gaze to find that it was on Finn. "He's kinda hot. Wait, is that the guy that you almost slept with after meeting him in The Bean?"

Lexa groaned inwardly. "Yeah."

"No wonder you won't stop staring at him. I guess I can understand why you'd wanna sleep with him. Not that I'd condone it, of course," Anya stated.

"He's actually kind of an ass."

"You've spoken to him since then?"

Lexa shrugged. "I ran into him a couple of times," she said, though it was more of a half truth. "I wouldn't wanna sleep with him. He sleeps around a lot."

"Oh," Anya said. "I was kinda hoping he'd wait for me."

Lexa nearly gagged. "That's disgusting."

"What? You almost slept with him."

"Yes, and I'm so glad that I didn't."

"Mm. His tall friend with the nice hair is pretty cute too."

"Would you stop staring at them?" Lexa pleaded, physically turning her body away in hopes that Anya would get the message that she was uncomfortable by the staring. The last thing she needed was for Clarke's friends to see them staring.

Anya gave in and they both turned away, rejoining the conversation they'd abandoned.

Lexa's phone vibrated a few minutes later.

 **From Clarke – Finn saw you and he didn't freak. Looks like he doesn't hate you after all. X**

 **To Clarke – He would if I was over there with you.**

 **From Clarke – Eh. Baby steps.**

 **To Clarke – My friend Luna says that you're "fucking hot".**

 **From Clarke – She's not wrong.**

 **To Clarke – Your modesty amazes me.**

 **From Clarke – I know. :) Not my fault that I was born with a great body.**

 **To Clarke – Mm.**

 **From Clarke – Too bad it's not October. X Keep yourself contained, cutie ;)**

Lexa blushed, and wondered if Clarke was looking at her from somewhere to see.

 **To Clarke – I'm perfectly fine, thank you very much.**

 **From Clarke – Whatever you say. ;)**

"Are you texting the mystery dude again?" Anya asked, poking at her side.

"There's not a mystery dude, Anya," Lexa denied.

"So who the fuck are you texting then?"

Lexa sighed. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Guess so."

"Ready for another drink?" Luna asked suddenly, interrupting them as though she felt the tension between them. "I know that you need another, Anya."

"Sure, why not?" the girl answered, and Lexa watched the two of them hurry off toward the nearest keg.

Lexa felt suddenly very alone, though she was still with Echo, Lincoln and a few other college kids. She tried to pay attention to what they were talking about for a moment, but then she decided that she was bored, and she separated herself. She drank the rest of her cup and then tossed it into one of the nearby garbage cans.

Sighing, she made it to the treeline where she usually met up with Luna and leaned against one of the trees. She figured that her friends would be able to find her here once they realized that she wasn't with Echo anymore.

 **To Clarke – My friends have abandoned me. I might go home.**

 **From Clarke – I wouldn't blame you. I keep looking for a reason to leave.**

"Hey there," an unfamiliar voice said suddenly, drawing Lexa's attention up from her phone. A guy she didn't recognize was standing a few feet away from her, and she immediately felt cautious.

"Hi," she said, taking a step away from the tree she was leaning on and toward the rest of the party.

"Not enjoying the party?" he asked her, wearing a questionable smile across his face.

"Actually, I just needed a breather," she answered firmly, "and I think I should get back to my friends."

"You sure you don't wanna hang around over here with me?" he asked, taking a large step closer to her.

"I think I'll pass, but thanks." She took a step back toward the crowd.

"Aw come on, I bet I could offer a way better time."

"Doubt it."

He was about to say something else, but then a voice interrupted them.

"Get your filthy hands off of her," Luna snapped, drawing a few people's attention. The guy immediately took a step back.

"I didn't touch her!"

"Sure looked like you wanted to," Luna growled, standing next to Lexa now. "Get the fuck out, she's spoken for anyway."

Lexa flushed, crossing her arms over her chest and wishing that she wasn't so shy in this moment. The guy stepped back and then disappeared into the crowd. "Can we leave?" Lexa muttered, facing Luna and Anya now.

"Yes," Luna answered, still looking quite pissed off. "Why'd you leave Echo? Even college aged kids shouldn't go off alone at these things, Lexa."

"I was thinking about leaving, and I figured you'd find me here."

"You're lucky that I did in time. Come on."

"I don't think he was going to try anything," Lexa admitted, sighing, "but yeah, thanks." As she and Anya followed Luna through the crowd and toward the parking lot, Lexa calmed herself down. She didn't see Clarke around anywhere, so she tried to focus her thoughts on anything but the party.

"What did Luna mean that you're spoken for?" Anya asked quietly as they finally reached the parking lot area.

"I don't know. I'm not," Lexa answered, though she wasn't exactly sure if she was or not. She and Clarke were... dating, so to speak, but they weren't exclusive necessarily. So did that mean she was or wasn't spoken for?

"Not even a little bit?" Anya asked, as if she understood what was going through Lexa's thoughts in that moment. Lexa shrugged, climbing into Luna's car once they reached it.

She settled in the back seat, letting Anya take the passenger seat. Luna claimed that she hadn't had any of the second drink she'd gone to get with Anya, and since it had been a while since her first drink, she felt okay to drive. Lexa didn't feel like she had any other choice but to trust the girl, and it wasn't like there was much traffic in town anyway.

She pulled out her phone.

 **To Clarke – Well. I found my reason to leave. Some sketchy guy trying to get into my pants or something.**

 **From Clarke – You shouldn't walk around a bonfire by yourself, Lexa. :(**

 **To Clarke – So I've realized. It's fine, he didn't try anything, thankfully. Luna, Anya and I just left anyway.**

* * *

Clarke's attention was pulled away from her phone as she heard a new voice join their group. "Oh hey guys, I didn't realize you were here."

"We've been here a while, Murphy," Octavia stated, shrugging. "Where've you been lately? Haven't seen you on campus very much."

"I missed the week of classes," he admitted, "because I was still being dragged across Florida by my family. Thought I'd celebrate by getting a hot girl to hookup with me, but I was sadly rejected."

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Who?"

"I don't know, some brunette who was standing over there," he answered, nodding off in a general direction.

Clarke clenched her teeth for a moment, and then raised a hand into the air, "About this tall, curly hair?"

"Yeah, about."

"Wait, is that Lexa he's talking about?" Octavia interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"If it is, then he's damn lucky I wasn't there when he started talking to her."

"Whoa, chill, blondie. Didn't know you and her were a thing."

"We're not!" Clarke exclaimed, not sure if she sounded panicked or just incredulous. "But she's seventeen, so unless you feel like getting arrested..."

"Oh shit, really?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Don't worry man, she definitely looks older. I almost slept with her too."

Clarke felt sick suddenly, and she turned away from the boys. "I'm leaving." She felt her friends' eyes on her as she pushed through the crowd and made her way to the parking lot. She pursed her lips as she realized that Bellamy had driven them all, and found herself leaning against his car and staring at the sky. Since when had she become so protective of Lexa?

It was a stupid question, obviously, but it hadn't occurred to her just how pissed she could get from the idea of someone else trying something with the brunette. Her phone went off.

 **From Bellamy – I'll give you a ride back to your place if you want? Your car is there right, since you drove home first to change before I picked you up?**

 **To Bellamy – Yes, please.**

 **From Lexa – Clarke?**

 **To Lexa – Sorry, just left the party. The guy who tried to hook up with you is a guy I know – Murphy. Really sorry about him. He wouldn't have tried anything other than what he thinks is effective flirting. I don't know why I have so many asshole friends.**

 **From Lexa – Oh. It's fine, just totally threw off my mood. I think I'm going to head to sleep as soon as I get home.**

 **To Lexa – You do that. I'm probably going to do the same. Stay safe cutie. X**

Bellamy appeared in front of her suddenly, and Clarke slid her phone into her pocket. "Thanks, Bell."

"No problem. You should probably tell everyone about you and Lexa," he stated bluntly. "Maybe then everyone will stop talking about her like she's just some girl. I can tell it's driving you crazy."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Come on, let's get you home."


	13. Chapter 13

Sunday was a relaxing day for Lexa, who spent most of it by herself, finishing up some homework for the following week and sipping coffee. She texted Clarke throughout the day, but opted to not go to the warehouse once she heard that Finn was there as well. She didn't want to avoid Clarke because of Finn, but she couldn't help but want to hold off any real confrontation with the guy.

Monday and Tuesday ended up being rather boring, with Lexa only seeing Clarke on Monday when she made an extra stop at The Bean in the late afternoon. Tuesday through Thursday, Clarke had explained to her, were Clarke's three class days, which meant that all they could really do to interact during most of the week was text.

Lexa loved texting Clarke. Doing so never failed to bring a smile to her face. It felt more natural than anything to talk to Clarke.

Wednesday, though, was the most Clarke deprived she'd been all week. The blonde had classes through the morning and afternoon, and was working the last shift at The Bean to end off the day. That's why Lexa found herself hanging out with Anya at one of the little cafes near the center of town. Neither of them had homework that day, so they just talked and ate food, and finally, Anya brought up the topic that Lexa had been avoiding for days on end by now.

"Lexa," Anya said suddenly, "could you... please explain what's been going with you? And your mystery dude – or not mystery dude, or whatever. Every time you're on your phone, you looking happier than ever, and then as soon as I bring it up, you get super closed off. Is this just... part of your whole, being different thing?"

"That's not a thing anymore," Lexa insisted, sighing. "I just... don't know if I'm ready to tell you, Anya."

Anya looked hurt. "I'm your best friend, Lexa. And I talked to Luna today – she let on that she knows more than I do about it. I just... don't get it. Why won't you tell me?"

"It's complicated, Anya. You wouldn't approve – for multiple reasons."

Anya's eyebrows shot up. "Are you dating an older guy?"

"No."

"So then what?" she demanded. "Whatever it is now can't be worse than what you've got me picturing now."

"I'm not dating an older... guy, Anya. I'm dating an older girl."

Anya looked suddenly shocked, opening her mouth to say something, and then closing it again. "Oh. Wait. What? You're dating a girl?"

"Yes."

"You're... into girls?"

"I am," Lexa confirmed, and for the first time, she let herself admit wholeheartedly that she was completely into girls. "I'm a lesbian."

Anya nodded slowly. "Okay. You were scared to tell me that, Lexa? You're my best friend, and nothing can change that, you know? God, I can't imagine how hard it must've been for you to keep that a secret. I talk about guys all the damn time."

Lexa smiled softly. "I've only realized it recently. I just... didn't know how you'd react. I was kind of scared, I guess. I only told Luna because... well, she overheard a conversation I was having with this guy Finn about it."

"Finn, the guy you almost slept with?"

"Yeah," Lexa answered, rolling her eyes. "I'm... dating, I guess, his friend, Clarke. She was with him and their friends at the bonfire on Saturday. But Finn was at the bonfire I went to with Luna the weekend before, and he confronted me about Clarke and Luna overheard. That's the only reason that she knew."

"So... do you mind defining dating?"

"We're not having sex," Lexa said straightaway, "and we won't have sex. We've just been hanging out a lot, talking... the most we've done physically is kiss, so you can stop worrying about me getting someone arrested."

"Where've you been hanging out?" Anya asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Ah. That warehouse, where you picked me up that one time."

"Seriously?"

"It's not as sketchy as I'm sure you're imagining it is," Lexa insisted, shaking her head.

"Is she there right now?"

"No."

"Okay. Well, show me the place then."

Lexa's eyebrows shot up. "Um, I'm not sure that's a good idea, Anya. There are a bunch of them that could be there, including Finn, who still doesn't know that Clarke and I are... well, yeah."

"I wanna see it, and I want to meet her, because I'm sorry, but I'm not quick to trust people to take care of my best friend when they could very easily take advantage of you," Anya insisted, crossing her arms and looking very stubborn about the issue.

"Okay, well you can do all that later."

"Fine. Want to head to my place then?"

Lexa found herself following Anya out to her car – they'd gone back to Lexa's place directly after school before deciding to go out for an early dinner in Anya's car. As soon as they started driving, though, Lexa knew that they weren't heading back to her best friend's house. "Anya... where are we going?"

"Your girlfriend's warehouse."

"She's not my girlfriend. And it's not hers, it's hers and her friends', which means that someone is probably going to catch us there and get extremely suspicious. Anya," Lexa protested, biting down on the inside of her lower lip. She thought about texting Clarke and asking if anyone was at the warehouse or not, but she didn't feel like explaining her best friend situation via text, and she also didn't want to interrupt the blonde's last class of the day.

"Don't you spend tons of time there, though?"

"With Clarke, Anya, not with her friends," Lexa insisted. "Come on, can't we just go home?"

"I just want to make sure that you're being real with me, Lexa. For all I know, there's some terrifying sex chamber in there, and I don't know what to expect from you anymore. And even though I am pretty sure that you're not lying to me – despite the lies you've apparently told me recently – this should just be fun anyway,"

"I highly doubt it'll be fun. And how do you remember how to get there? You went there once, weeks ago."

"I have a good memory, which you know."

Lexa huffed, relenting and falling silent as her best friend drove her toward the warehouse. When they finally pulling into the area, she let out a relieved breath as she saw that no cars aside from one was parked there, and Lexa didn't recognize it. On one hand, that was good that it wasn't Finn, but on the other hand, it was slightly nerve wracking to not know who was there. "If we just peek in and I show you that there's nothing creepy in there, can we leave?"

"Sure," Anya agreed, parking her car and opening the door with enthusiasm. Lexa followed, much less excitedly, and found herself following her best friend up to the entrance of the building. It was open, as it tended to be when anyone was there, and the nice entrance area was still decorated.

"See, look? It's a completely civilized place," Lexa insisted, crossing her arms as she stopped at the threshold. Anya, however, ventured into the room and to the table against the wall, where pictures of all of Clarke's friends were set up.

"Which one is Clarke?"

Lexa bit the inside of her lip and entered the warehouse, joining Anya and pointing to Clarke in one of the pictures. "That's her."

"She's not bad looking."

"Did you think she would be?" Lexa asked, raising an eyebrow only to have Anya shrug in response.

"I don't know. There were a lot of people at the bonfire on Saturday. So. Where do you two hang out?"

"Her art room," Lexa answered, "but it's all the way in the back. I don't wanna go in that far without Clarke here."

"Hey, is someone here?" The voice belonged to Octavia, and Lexa relaxed physically as she realized that it was someone who at least attempted to be civil to her. The older brunette appeared in the doorway, a look of surprise covering her face. "Oh, hi Lexa. Clarke's not here."

"I know," Lexa said, flashing her best friend a glare. "Ah. This is my friend Anya. She... wanted to..."

"Make sure that there's not a hidden sex chamber in this place."

Octavia laughed suddenly, and Lexa felt herself relax. "Oh god. Well, there's not." Anya gave Lexa a sidelong glance, and she rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Anya, Clarke and I are not having sex."

Octavia smirked. "Yeah, you don't need to worry about Clarke doing anything illegal with your bestie. She's as chivalrous as they come, apparently. The girl nearly murdered our friend on Saturday for trying to get with Lexa."

"Oh, that guy from the bonfire?" Anya said, looking to Lexa with confusion.

"Yeah, Clarke got all up in his face. It was pretty funny actually. Anyway, like I said, Clarke's not here. But I can't promise that someone else won't show up, so I wouldn't stick around long if I were you. I think Finn was coming in to start building a door."

"A door where?" Lexa asked, curious.

Octavia grinned. "Well, you see, Bellamy is paying Finn to build a door on Clarke's room to surprise her, since she won't be back in here until Friday. Finn doesn't think Clarke needs a door, but I'm pretty sure both you and Clarke are tired of people walking in there when you're here. And if Finn gets his extra special door for all the chicks he brings around here, I think Clarke deserves one."

"Wait, you guys aren't mad that I've been coming here?" Lexa asked, surprised all of the sudden. "Isn't there like... a no significant other rule or something?"

Octavia shrugged. "Yeah, but that was put in place for Finn. Anyway, if we all put it up to a vote, I'm pretty sure that rule would be repealed."

Suddenly, there was the sound of a car pulling into the area from behind them, and Lexa turned around. Her eyes widened as she saw Finn's truck. "Right, well, we've gotta go. Can you make up a reason that we were here?" Lexa asked, looking to Octavia hopefully. She was beginning to think that the older brunette actually did like her, and it was making her feel much more at ease about everything.

"Of course. See you later later, Lexa. And nice to meet you Anya."

Anya nodded in response, but Lexa was grabbing her arm and tugging her out of the warehouse as Finn parked his truck. "Come on, I do not want to talk to Finn."

"Lexa?" a voice called, just as the two teenagers were ducking back into Anya's car. He called her named again as they closed the doors,and they barely managed to pull out and drive away before he was approaching them.

Lexa let out a sigh of relief, and Anya laughed. "That was fun."

"He's going to grill Clarke about me again," Lexa muttered, groaning.

"Ah, I'm sure she'll be fine. Anyway. I approve of the location, and whoever that girl was seemed decent."

"That's Octavia, one of Clarke's friends. Her brother is Clarke's best friend, I think. He's the other guy you said was cute on Saturday."

Anya hummed thoughtfully, and Lexa gave her curious look. "So, you're sure you want to get yourself into this? A relationship with someone who's older than you?"

"Yes," Lexa answered surely, "I really like Clarke."

"Thank you for telling me, Lexa. I... I guess I can understand why you didn't say anything sooner, so I don't blame you. I'm just glad that you trusted me enough to tell me now," Anya said softly. "I'm not going to tell your mom or anything, if that's what you were afraid of."

Lexa gave her best friend a smile. "Thanks, Anya."

* * *

When Clarke walked into the warehouse on Friday afternoon feeling pretty good. Finishing her homework that morning and then working throughout the middle of the day left her feeling extremely productive, and what better way to reward herself than to paint?

"Hey, Clarke!" Octavia called suddenly, as Clarke made her way through her friend's room. "Wait up. How was your day?"

Clarke paused to let Octavia join her, and then started toward her room again. "It was good. Kinda happy that get to just paint for the rest of the day."

"Mm, yeah," Octavia agreed, and Clarke furrowed her eyebrows in slight confusion at her friend until she stopped in front of her art room, her jaw dropping.

"What the fuck?" There was a plain, wood, sliding door across the entrance to her room.

"Bell paid Finn to build you a door," Octavia said, a grin across her face. "We figure that at some point, we'll probably all have doors. But if we keep doing what Finn did for his, and kinda like the front door, with the sliding door, we can still keep them all open if we feel like it. But we all kind of need our privacy, you know? And we figured that you should be next in line to get it."

"Thank you," Clarke said, still surprised as she gave her friend a grateful smile. "Wait, a second, is this because of me and Lexa?"

"I mean, partially, but we didn't tell Finn that. He got the general explanation that I just gave you," Octavia answered, shrugging. Clarke opened the sliding door, gazing at it with appreciation, and stepped into her art room. Octavia followed, and continued, "Speaking of Lexa. She showed up here on Wednesday."

Clarke knit her eyebrows and flashed the brunette a look of confusion. "Wait, why? She knew I wasn't here on Wednesday."

"Yeah, I guess her best friend wanted proof that you two weren't sneaking out to a random abandoned building to hook up," Octavia explained, smirking. "Poor Lexa did not want to be here, and they bolted whenever Finn showed up. Speaking of, he's here, so if your girlfriend does show up..."

"She's not my girlfriend," Clarke stated, frowning a little. They weren't girlfriends, were they? That was usually a separate conversation than just general dating, at least to Clarke. She wondered what Lexa had told her best friend.

"Mm, well whatever she is. I've gotta get back to my room so I can continue to try and figure out Bellamy's pass code. See ya."

Clarke only hummed in response as her friend left the room, leaving the sliding door remaining open in her wake. Figuring that she had no reason to close it, she set her phone down on her table and stretched her arms out above her head. She would question the label of her and Lexa's relationship at a later time.

She was just getting ready to resume painting when there was a knock on the side of her door. Turning her head and hoping that it was Lexa, she was slightly disappointed to see Finn standing there. "Hey," he said, "you like the door?"

"It's awesome, thanks," she said with a smile. "I probably won't leave mine looking like plain plywood, though."

He chuckled. "I figured you'd want to paint it or something. I would've put a hinged door in, but Octavia was pretty persistent about wanting them all to be sliding."

"I like it this way," Clarke stated, still smiling.

Finn cleared his throat and said, "Hey, I wanted to tell you... I'm sorry for whatever I did to make things kind of weird between us lately. I figure it's all the Lexa stuff. Frankly... if you say there's nothing going on between the two of you, I should just believe you and move on. So that's what I'm going to do now."

A pit suddenly formed in Clarke's stomach as she realized that thanking him, or saying anything positive about his sentiment, would be categorized as lying to him. Lying to him about a relationship, not just feelings, and she was pretty sure that that was much worse. "Ah, why were you so concerned about it anyway?"

Finn frowned at the response. "Don't you think that dating someone your own age would make a lot more sense? Someone who's had the same amount of life experience as you've had?"

"Sure, I guess, but lots of people around here haven't had the same experiences as I've had anyway. Maybe what I need is someone who's had better experiences than me, because at least then they might have a better outlook on everything," Clarke commented, tilting her head a little as she thought about it. Her longest lasting relationship had been a couple months long, and it dawned on her now that she'd never really thought of experiences as something to factor into one's relationship.

"And that means you'd wanna be with someone who's seventeen?" Finn asked, seeming to realize that these questions weren't entirely hypothetical.

Clarke let out a sigh. "Maybe?"

He looked at her with concern etched into his expression, and then he shook his head, turning around and leaving the room. Despite the frown that appeared on her face, Clarke was just glad that he hadn't tried to start up another argument about it. Especially now that something was already happening in between her and Lexa, she didn't want to go through anymore stress about whether or not it was right. The fact was, she'd already made her decision, along with Lexa, and that was final.

It was starting to get into the evening when another knock could be heard on the side of Clarke's door. The blonde glanced over her shoulder, expecting Octavia here to say goodnight, but saw a different, younger brunette. Her face immediately brightened. "Hey!" she said, setting down her paintbrush as she realized that Lexa was holding some sort of takeout bag in her hand.

"I would've come by earlier, but my mother had some professors over for an early dinner and she made me sit through it," Lexa apologized, "but the food sucked, so I thought I'd get something. And I figured that you haven't eaten."

"You figured right," Clarke admitted. "Did you see the fancy door Finn put up?"

"So fancy," Lexa agreed, laughing lightly. "Octavia told me on Wednesday that he was putting it up."

"Oh yeah, I heard that you and your best friend – Anya? – broke in on Wednesday."

Lexa scoffed. "We hardly broke in – the whole front door was open anyway." Lexa opened the takeout bag, and Clarke stepped around her and to her door, sliding it closed happily. "But it was Anya's fault."

Clarke hummed. "Yeah, Octavia told me. What food did you get?"

They spent about twenty minutes eating the sandwiches that Lexa had purchased from the cafe that was near The Bean, and Lexa told Clarke about coming out to Anya and Luna. Clarke didn't say much, letting Lexa do more of the talking, but she was definitely happy to hear that neither of them were going to spill about it.

The fact was that Clarke didn't care who knew about... whatever it was that she and Lexa were doing, as long as no one who might try to get them in trouble found out. Even if they hadn't had sex, Clarke knew that she could probably still get in trouble somehow until Lexa officially turned eighteen.

When they finished eating, Clarke leaned back in her chair and looked at the door behind Lexa. "What should I paint on it?"

Lexa glanced over her shoulder. "On the door? I don't know."

"Oh come on, no ideas?"

"Last I checked, you were the artistic genius here." Clarke laughed, smiling and scanning the room for any source of inspiration. Suddenly, her smile widened into a grin. "What?"

"I have an idea."


	14. Chapter 14

"Clarke, you should probably know that I don't think I've picked up a paintbrush since I was about six years old," Lexa said, feeling very unprepared as Clarke laid paints out on her already color splattered table.

"That's okay."

"Seriously, though. And it was worse than every other six year old's art, whatever it was."

"Seriously, Lexa, I don't care. We're basically going to spatter it with paint. It doesn't even have to look good. The point is that I don't want it to look like plywood," Clarke insisted, grabbing a handful of different sized brushes from her shelf and splaying them across the table next to the paints. "I promise, it'll be easy."

"You're sure you don't just wanna do it yourself?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Probably in the outcome."

Clarke rolled her eyes, grabbing one of the paintbrushes, dipping it into some purple paint, and then handing it over to Lexa."Pretend like it's your hair," she said teasingly, her smile widening as Lexa begrudgingly accepted the brush. Clarke dipped a second one into green paint, and then brought it over to the door, painting a meaningless, jagged line across the middle of it.

Lexa cringed. "I thought art was supposed to look pretty." Clarke's laugh got a small smile out of her, though, until she realized that the purple paint on her brush was about to drip onto her clothes. Squealing, she just about slammed the brush into the door, creating a strangely shaped blob of purple paint.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I guess not."

Clarke grinned. "Come on, there's nothing you wanna paint? We can cover anything up. The door is your canvas," Clarke stated, winking playfully at the brunette, who looked at the door with suspicion.

"Doesn't look like a canvas."

"Oh my god, Lexa, play pretend for five seconds," Clarke said, rolling her eyes and getting a small, smug smile from the brunette.

"Okay, fine," Lexa agreed, setting down her paint brush and grabbing for a smaller one. She dipped into some pink paint, and then turned back to the door. Clarke's bright blue eyes were on her as she painted two stick figures on the door, before then painting yellow hair on one, and brown hair on the other. "There. That's you, and that's me." She thought for a moment, getting some black paint and painting a happy face on Clarke's stick figure, and a sad face on hers. "And this is how we both feel about making me paint."

Clarke smirked, taking the black paint covered brush from the brunette and blotting out the Lexa stick figure's face. "Well, that's how I feel about how you feel about me making you paint."

"Wow, just erase my face from real life, why don't you?" Lexa glared as best as she could at the blonde, and Clarke just laughed for a moment before leaning forward and pressing her lips against Lexa's softly. Lexa, distracted from the task at hand, melted a little bit, kissing Clarke back instinctively.

Suddenly, though, a cold, wet paintbrush was pressed against her cheek, and she jumped back with a squeak. Clarke was grinning at her mischievously. "Paint the door or I'll paint you, cutie."

Lexa raised her hand to her cheek, pulling it away to reveal the black paint all over her hand. "Oh my god, get the away from me. I actually like having clothes that aren't stained."

"Last I checked, your face wasn't a part of your clothing," Clarke stated, still smiling as she swapped out paintbrushes again. "Can't you please just help me paint my door?"

"Fine," Lexa agreed, smiling despite herself, because would she really turn Clarke down? "So, where did you live before you moved here?"

Clarke smiled a little. "Washington DC."

"Why'd your parents move here?"

"My mom got a job at the hospital here," she replied, "but I guess it wasn't good enough for her a few years later. She lives back in DC now."

"Oh. That's lame."

"Mm, yeah. But I like it here, after everything. My real family – my friends – are here, anyway." She was painting blue across part of the door, and Lexa grinned devilishly as she got red paint and intersected the blonde's strokes. "Oh, so now you're oh so into painting?"

"You can't paint one whole area of the door blue," Lexa insisted, "or else it'll look weird."

"Alright, since you're clearly the paint expert here," Clarke said with amusement, a small smile playing on her face.

"I don't get it. If you paint actual nice things so often, why do you want the door to just be random paint splotches?"

"It's fun," Clarke answered. "Plus, if I put an actual picture up here, I'd be bound to get bored of it. "At least if I get bored of this, changing it wouldn't mean destroying an actual nice piece of art."

"I guess I'm just blind to the ways of painting," Lexa thought aloud, swirling her red paintbrush around in a circle.

Clarke chuckled. "You're doing fine, you weirdo. It's not supposed to look amazing."

"Well now I'm offended that you don't think my red circles are amazing."

"Oh my god, you might actually drive me insane," Clarke said, taking the paintbrush from the brunette. "Sit your pretty little ass down if you don't wanna paint."

Lexa grinned, sitting on the only empty spot on the table. She sat quietly for a few minutes, watching Clarke cover up their stick figures and creating a sea of color, random strokes and waves and shapes that somehow all fit together nicely on the now far less boring door. It was somewhat mesmerizing, watching Clarke do the easiest type of painting that there was while still looking so focused, as though it was far more important than it was in actuality.

Clarke was the one who broke the silence. "So, I was thinking that you and I should do something tomorrow while the rest of the world is partying away."

The brunette smiled a little, though Clarke wasn't facing her. "Okay. Like what?"

"Like, I should buy you dinner somewhere. Because we haven't really gone on like... a date," Clarke answered, sounding like she was nervous to ask. A few weeks ago, Lexa never would have imagined her being able to make Clarke nervous, seeing as how the blonde had just about terrified Lexa the first few times she's seen her.

"I'm not opposed," Lexa stated, still smiling.

"Good," Clarke said, a little more relaxed now as she turned away from the door to clean off a paintbrush and dip it into another paint.

They continued to talk about whatever came to their minds while Clarke painted, and finally, when it was easily around nine o'clock, the door was finished. "I think it turned out well," Lexa stated, tilting her head a little at the artwork.

"Considering that I did all of it, I guess neither of us should be surprised," Clarke teased, smiling at the brunette with slightly raised eyebrows.

"First you wanted me to help you paint, and now that I didn't, you're happy?" Lexa asked, rolling her eyes slightly as Clarke began to clean up the paints and brushes spread over her table next to where Lexa was sitting.

"Mm, in retrospect maybe it was a good thing that you didn't help." Blue eyes flashed with amusement, and Lexa felt a smile appear on her face involuntarily. "What's the time?"

Lexa grabbed her phone from where it had somehow ended up sitting just behind her on the table and checked the time. "Nine thirty." Unlocking her phone, she found that she had a few missed text messages.

 **From Luna – R U going to the bonfire 2morrow? PLS Anya won't go unless u go!**

 **From Anya – Don't go to the party with Luna tomorrow – you owe me some hang out time lately.**

Lexa bit down on the inside of her lip.

 **To Luna and Anya – Can't party or anything tomorrow night, I have a date.**

 **From Luna – Like, a real date date?**

 **To Luna – Yes. :)**

 **From Anya – What! Okay, then you owe me hang out time RIGHT NOW! :(**

 **To Anya – I'm with Clarke right now. :(**

 **From Anya – Well I could just turn up at that warehouse place if you'd prefer that.**

Lexa sighed. "I have to go."

"Oh, why?" Clarke asked, glancing over her shoulder toward Lexa from where she'd moved over to her shelf to put her supplies away.

"Best friend duties, I guess," Lexa answered, shrugging. "Thanks for letting me watch you paint your door instead of helping."

Clarke smiled. "Sure. I'll text you tomorrow." She stepped away from the shelf and toward Lexa, hardly surprising the brunette when her lips joined with Lexa's in a kiss. The feeling made Lexa feel warm and fuzzy, and as soon as it was over, a frown took over her expression. Clarke gave her a confused look, and she responded only by closing the distance between them once again with another kiss. Clarke smiled into it, and Lexa pretended for a handful of seconds that it didn't have to end. But then she was stepping away from the blonde, giving her a bashful goodbye, and carefully sliding open the newly painted door. With one last smile at the blonde, she left to go meet up with Anya.

* * *

"Lexa just leave?" Octavia asked, as Clarke found her in Bellamy's room, sitting on his couch and scrolling through his Netflix.

"Yep," Clarke replied, crouching in front of the mini fridge and unlocking it. Feeling a bit lighter than normal, she grabbed two beers, handing one off to Octavia as she went over to the couch.

"Ooh, he always buys the best brands," Octavia commented, grinning at the can before popping it open. "So, about you and Lexa. You guys like... a real thing now? Or still the whole 'she's not my girlfriend!' deal?"

Clarke shrugged, sitting on the opposite end of the couch as Octavia and spreading her legs across the cushions and over her friend's lap. "I'm not exactly sure." She opened her beer and took a sip of it. "I'm going to take her out tomorrow, though."

"Ooh, where?"

"I don't know."

Octavia chuckled. "Should've guessed as much. You don't seem like much of a date planner anyway."

"Shut up," Clarke muttered, getting another laugh out of her friend.

"Oh, by the way. Murphy texted Raven and said that we're all invited to one of his mini lakeside parties next Saturday. Apparently there's some on campus frat party that night, so the lake will be empty. It starts early in the afternoon too, so Rae and I were going to use it as our last opportunity to get some sun. Everyone's invited, you gonna come?"

"Sure, why not?" Clarke agreed. "Sounds better than the frat party anyway. Who all is invited besides us?"

"Murphy's usual gang, plus a few people that Miller knows, I guess. He's got that whole 'invite your own group' sort of thing going on, so I'm not exactly sure," Octavia explained, shaking her head and taking a long drink of her beer. "It should be pretty fun, though."

Clarke nodded. "Yeah, count me in then."

"So, did Finn talk to you?"

"What about?"

"Lexa."

"Sort of. Why?"

Octavia sighed. "He was trying to get me to say to him that I don't think you should date her."

Clarke lowered her gaze down to the can in both of her hands. "Did you?" She looked up again at the brunette.

"No, I didn't," Octavia admitted. "I don't think it's all that big of a deal, really. When does she turn eighteen again?"

"In like three weeks," Clarke answered, smiling a little as she realized that that wasn't actually so far away.

"Oh wait, really? That's soon. Yeah, I don't think it's that big of a deal, as long as you aren't doing anything illegal, which you aren't. Lexa seems pretty decent as far as teenagers go, anyway," Octavia continued. "And I mean, if you like her, you should definitely go for it."

Clarke smiled. "I do like her."

"Oh god, she's turned you into a pile of mush."

"Fuck off, Octavia, no she hasn't."

The brunette grinned widely. "There's the no-nonsense Clarke that I know and love! Not that I don't approve of mushy Clarke, but I assume that your moment of weakness is going to be between you and me... and well, Lexa, I guess."

"There's no mushy Clarke," Clarke denied fervently.

"Mmhmm, whatever you say," Octavia teased, still grinning. "Whatever, though, I'll let it go. Feel like watching some Netflix?"

"Sure. What were you gonna watch?"

"I wasn't sure, but now I'm pretty sure that we should watch something super romantic and adorable to fit your mood, and also to give you date ideas for tomorrow." Clarke glared at Octavia with such fire, that brown eyes actually widened for a moment before she let out a laugh. "Okay, okay, I'll stop. How about Orange Is the New Black? Have you caught up yet? Oh shit, you have to see it."

Clarke smiled to herself as Octavia started an episode up, relaxing into the couch and feeling oddly happy.


	15. Chapter 15

"Where's she taking you?"

"I don't know."

"Well, what are you going to wear?"

"I don't know."

Anya let out a frustrated puff of air. "Lexa!"

The two of them were sprawled across Anya's bed, side by side and staring up at Anya's ceiling as they talked. "What? I haven't had any time to think about it – you stole me away from Clarke to come hang out with you, remember? And I wasn't going to zone out and contemplate my date with Clarke when I was sitting right next to her."

"What do you guys do when you're at the warehouse, anyway?" Anya wondered, turning her head a little to look at Lexa.

"I mean, we talk and like... a lot of the time she's painting something."

"So all you ever do is talk?"

Lexa narrowed her eyes. "Well... no."

"What's she like?" Anya asked, and Lexa didn't know whether she should be happy that Anya was asking normal questions rather than getting on to her, or frustrated that she was asking so many questions.

"I mean," Lexa started quietly, "she's funny, and intense. She kinda terrified me the first few times that I spoke to her actually."

"So what changed?"

Lexa smiled a little. "She didn't change at all, actually, I guess she just developed a soft spot for me."

"So what, she's a bitch to everyone else?" Anya sounded confused, and Lexa scoffed.

"No. She's just... been through a lot. And, well, she loves her friends so much, so I guess it's more like tough love or something," Lexa answered. "I think she just has a hard time opening up to people, so she gets kinda scary as a defense mechanism."

Anya hummed thoughtfully. "Sounds... interesting."

"She's not mean or anything," Lexa insisted, rolling her eyes. "Definitely not to me. She's actually really sweet. But we tease each other a lot, which is actually pretty fun."

"I mean, there are loads of things to tease you about, so I'm not surprised," Anya deadpanned. Her jaw dropping, Lexa playfully slapped her best friend's arm.

"Wow, thanks."

"I can't really picture it all."

"What?" Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, and Anya released a sigh.

"I don't know, just you with a girl. I mean, I'm sure if I saw you two together, I would get it. But I've only heard you talk about her, or seen you texting her, and so it could just as easily be a guy from that sort of perspective. I guess it's just new," Anya attempted to explain, sitting up suddenly.

"Oh." Lexa sat up as well.

"It's not like... weird for you at all?" Anya wondered, frowning a bit. "Suddenly like... doing things with girls instead of boys?"

Lexa pursed her lips, thinking for a moment. "No, not really. But I guess that's because it's how I'm supposed to be – interested in girls and doing things with girls. Thinking about being guys now sounds... I mean, not weird, but not really appealing either."

"What if you hate the sex?" Anya wondered, leaning against her pillows at the head of the bed. "Like, you've had sex with a guy, so you know what it's like. What if when you turn eighteen, you have sex with Clarke and you don't like it?"

"I... don't think that will happen," Lexa admitted slowly, "but I mean, having sex with a guy wasn't a particular good experience for me anyway. I feel like any consensual sex I'd have now would be better. Plus, thinking about having sex with a girl – Clarke especially – doesn't gross me out at all or anything."

"Really?"

"Really," Lexa answered, slightly amused. "I mean, that kind of comes with the whole... being a lesbian thing. And Clarke's hot as people go anyway, whether or not you're attracted to girls."

"I guess, objectively yeah," Anya agreed. "I just really can't imagine it."

"What?"

"Having sex with a girl."

"Well, I guess if you haven't even kissed a girl, that would make sense." Anya pursed her lips all of the sudden, and Lexa raised both of her eyebrows, startled. "Wait, have you kissed a girl before?"

"Um."

"Anya," Lexa whined, stretching out her friend's name annoyingly. The other girl huffed, shaking her head.

"Okay fine. So, you remember when Luna told you that she took me out to that one party last year, and I said that I barely remember it because I was so wasted?" Lexa nodded. "Well... that's not entirely true. I got really wasted, yeah, but that was late in the night. Before that, Luna had dragged me over to this group of college guys, even though I told her that if she slept with one of them, she'd be putting them in the position of getting into big trouble. That's when I wanted to leave, but Luna basically kept a hold on me the whole time, so I decided that it would just be easier to stay with her, and at least make sure that she didn't screw up. And when I said that she basically kept a hold on me, I mean she was literally holding onto me. Some guy asked us if we were dating, and before either of us could answer, he said that it was hot."

Lexa raised an eyebrow, though she wasn't surprised.

"So Luna, obviously thirsty for any compliments from those guys, immediately started to get really clingy toward me in an attempt to make it seem like we were dating. And she spent like ten minutes flirting with this guy, even though the guy thought that we were a couple. When he walked off, he like glanced back at us, and Luna grabbed my face and started making out with me," Anya admitted, cringing a little bit.

"What, really?" Lexa asked, her eyes widening.

"Yeah. I sorta... well I mean, I kissed her back I guess, because I was so surprised, but then I pulled away from her and she was joking about it within a split second of it ending. It was at that point that I accepted a few extra drinks, and then a few more... and well, I couldn't really stop and I didn't. I wanted to forget about it. And that's why I never wanted, or want, really, to go out with Luna to anymore of those stupid parties," Anya finished, sighing.

"Why would you want to forget it? I mean, I get that you didn't enjoy it or anything, but it's not like you had anything to be ashamed about. She kissed you, anyway."

Anya shrugged. "It just seemed like a shameful thing, you know? It felt really wrong, And like, I knew and I know that I'm not gay, but it felt like kissing another girl just meant that I was, and my parents would not approve... and it just made me feel awful. You know?"

Lexa bit the inside of her lower lip, trying to keep from frowning too deeply and give away how much she was affected by Anya's story. "Do you really think that your parents would care that much?"

"Haven't you met them?" Anya asked back, sighing. "They were ecstatic to have their perfect son Lincoln – straight A's, got into college, is almost done with college now, isn't a douche, calls them once a week. They've always had those expectations for me, too, and it doesn't help that I'm a girl, because there are added expectations because of that. Do you know how many conversations my mom has pulled me into about how much she wants grandchildren and how she expects me to give them to her before she's sixty. That's like eleven years from now. There is no way I'm going to have kids before I'm thirty – I'm going to focus on my career before anything like that – but can you imagine if I was gay, and I told her that I would never be having kids?"

"You can have kids if you're gay," Lexa said slowly, and Anya shook her head.

"No, I know that," Anya insisted, "and I'm not trying to sound ignorant or like a bitch. I'm just saying that my parents would never get it. I mean, you don't think your mom would get it either, do you? That's why you haven't told her?"

"I... don't know how she would react," Lexa answered quietly. "I'd like to think that she'd at least try to understand. She definitely doesn't have as many expectations for me as your parents do for you, but she does have some all the same."

Before either of them could say anything else, Lexa's phone buzzed with a new text.

 **From Clarke – Are there any places you DON'T want to go to tomorrow night? Octavia says I'm a bad date planner, and I really need to prove her wrong.**

Lexa smiled a little bit as she typed out her response, though she could feel Anya's eyes on her.

 **To Clarke – No, I'm okay with whatever! But now I have really low expectations anyway, so you'll probably be fine ;)**

"It's Clarke, right?"

"Yeah," Lexa answered, glancing at her best friend. "Hey, can I crash here tonight? I really don't feel like going home after this heavy conversation we've had."

Anya smiled. "Of course. I'm gonna go shower real quick, I hate third wheeling your text conversation anyway." Lexa snickered as Anya got up and headed for her bathroom.

Making herself more comfortable on Anya's bed and snuggling a bit into the blankets, Lexa lifted her phone up to her face to read the new text message that had come through.

 **From Clarke – Oh great. Well. I guess that's better than you having high expectations. X**

 **To Clarke – So, you going to tell me where you're taking me?**

 **From Clarke – Sure, once I figure it out.**

 **From Clarke – Sorry to cut this short, cutie, but I have to get some sleep or I'll be a zombie tomorrow. Non-zombie me will text you tomorrow. X**

 **To Clarke – Okay :) Goodnight, Clarke!**

 **From Clarke – Night Lexa :)**

* * *

"Octavia was right," Clarke said, collapsing very unceremoniously onto Bellamy's couch. It was comfy enough that Clarke was pretty sure that she could fall asleep on it easily, were she in any other situation right now. "I suck at planning dates. It's going to go awfully, and I will officially be sad and alone forever after tonight."

Bellamy laughed, and Clarke knew that he was shaking his head from where he was sitting at his desk. "Over dramatic much? You know, I haven't seen flustered Clarke in a long time. It's kind of refreshing, considering that you're usually all angry and broody."

"Am not," Clarke snapped defensively, and Bellamy just laughed again.

"Look, you're gonna be fine, Clarke. And I'll tell you what. If Lexa somehow saw through you literally threatening her about the whole Finn thing and ended up getting you to date her, I think that means that she likes you enough to get past a not perfect date," Bellamy insisted.

Clarke groaned, rolling over and burying her face into the couch cushions. As she did, she heard someone walking into the warehouse. "Uh, what's with her?" Raven's voice asked.

"Oh, she's having an emotional breakdown," Bellamy joked casually.

"Shut up, Bell, stop making fun of me," Clarke groaned, though it was hardly decipherable as the words got muffled in the couch.

"Over what?"

"A date."

That got Clarke to jump up incredibly fast, nearly falling off of the couch and onto her ass. "Bellamy!"

"Ooh, what date?" Raven demanded, joining her on the couch and pushing her legs aside.

"No date."

Bellamy coughed awkwardly. "Oh, I thought you might've said something to her... sorry, my bad."

"Fuck you," Clarke growled, glaring over the back of the couch at him. He just flashed her a shy smile, and Clarke redirected her gaze toward Raven instead. "It's nothing," she insisted, "Just a date."

"A date that you're having an emotional breakdown over?" Raven asked, clearly not buying it.

"I..." Clarke found that she suddenly couldn't get more words out, and she just groaned again and flopped backwards into the cushions.

Thankfully, Bellamy was ready to pick up from there. "She and Lexa have been seeing each other for a little while, but Clarke is taking her out on their first date tonight. She thinks she's going to fuck it up."

"Oh," Raven said, looking like she was trying to refrain from appearing surprised, "well. You probably will, you suck at dates."

"Raven!" Bellamy scolded immediately, as Clarke let out a defeated sigh, dropping her hands over her face.

"I was kidding!" Raven exclaimed. "Alright, Clarke, tell me what you have in mind."

"Well I was going to take her out for dinner somewhere...," Clarke started slowly, pausing to take in a breath, "but then I'm out of ideas."

"Movie?"

"Too predictable," Clarke insisted.

"Why don't you just go down to the lake afterward?" Raven asked, sounding like she thought the idea was superb.

"Um. There's going to be a bonfire going on."

"Sure, so? That will be fun, right?"

"She's literally been to two of those bonfires in the past two weeks, Raven," Clarke argued.

Raven's eyes widened a bit. "Wait, was she at the one we were at last Saturday?"

"Yeah," Bellamy spoke up, "did you miss the whole Murphy trying to hook up with Lexa thing? Clarke got pissed."

Clarke narrowed her eyes in his direction. "You're exaggerating."

"Actually, I'm not."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Okay, no bonfire, whatever. Why don't you take her back to your place?" The brunette wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Raven!"

"I'm pretty sure she's trying to avoid getting arrested," Bellamy added unnecessarily.

Raven hummed thoughtfully. "Wait, isn't there that law in some states that you can hook up with minors if they're within three years of your age?"

"Even if that was a law here, I'm over three years older than Lexa, Raven. Anyway, it's our first real date and I want it to be nice," Clarke insisted.

Raven sighed, getting up from the couch and clearly beginning to get bored of the conversation. "So just do dinner, then. There's not a rule that says you have to have fifty parts to one date. Do dinner, at that one nice Italian place near campus, and then walk down that street that the restaurant's on. It's a cute area, you can be all romantic and cute and whatever."

"That's... actually not a bad idea."

Grinning, the brunette flipped some of her hair over her shoulder. "You should've trusted in me from the beginning. Anyway, I'll see you later, I've got to get some homework done. See you, Bell."

As Raven walked out of the room, Clarke smiled up at the ceiling. "I've got this. I can do this." Bellamy chuckled, and the blonde just rolled her eyes, sitting up and then getting up completely. "See you later, Bell. I've got to go get ready for a date."

* * *

 **From Clarke – I'm outside.**

Lexa smiled down at her phone. She'd spent her day with Luna, who had let herself into Lexa's house to, allegedly, help the brunette get ready for her date. Despite all of the "help", though, Lexa had ended up mostly dressing for the slightly cool weather. In the fall, the weather was always weird, getting cold one weekend and then blistering hot again the next weekend.

Once Lexa had finally picked her outfit of jeans and a black blouse, Luna left the brunette to her own devices to await the time that Clarke would pick her up. She'd tried not to psych the date up too much in her head, because she didn't want to be incredibly nervous by the time that Clarke picked her up. However, even after her efforts, she felt nerves jumbling around in her stomach as she smoothed out her skirt and made her way downstairs.

"Lexa? Where are you going?" her mother called from the living room. Lexa froze, turning her head and meeting her mom's gaze.

"Out with Anya," she lied easily, "I'll be home a little late. Bye!"

"If you sleep over at her place again, let me know please!"

Lexa turned back toward the door, rolling her eyes. "Sure thing." This was why she avoided her mom at all costs – the woman only tried to enforce rules when Lexa was actually around to speak to her directly, and so if Lexa just stayed away, she was free to do whatever. Of course, that hadn't been much of an issue until this past summer anyway.

Lexa left her house, her smile reappearing, and immediately spotted Clarke's car stopped along the edge of the street. She'd texted the blonde her address earlier after Clarke had texted her to say that she'd finally picked a restaurant. Lexa honestly wouldn't have minded if Clarke hadn't told her where they were going, but she'd wanted Lexa's approval. Lexa though it was endearing that Clarke seemed to be nervous about the date.

Lexa had thought she wasn't nervous, but as she approached the car, her heart was racing.

Clarke reached across the dash and opened the passenger door as Lexa headed toward it, and the brunette smiled a little as she slipped into the car. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hey!"

"I'm not sure why I expected you to actually get out and open the door for me," Lexa teased, buckling her seat belt as Clarke took the car out of park and started driving.

"Sorry, cutie, I guess chivalry really is dead," Clarke joked back, smiling softly. "But really, I didn't think it was necessary, since you clearly already think I'm awesome, therefore I don't need to impress you."

Lexa laughed at that, and didn't miss that Clarke's smile widened when she did. "You're ridiculous."

"Mmhmm," Clarke hummed, her smile still playing across her face. "So I've heard. What'd you do all day?"

"Luna came over," Lexa answered vaguely. "It was boring. I would've come by the warehouse otherwise."

"Well, I'll need to have a talk with this Luna then, if she hogged you all day," Clarke teased.

Lexa blushed a little, biting the inside of her lower lip. "I think you can handle not seeing me for a day."

"I have handled more than one day, so I guess you're right," Clarke replied lightly.

Lexa glanced out the window of the car as a comfortable silence fell around them, but she frowned as she realized that they weren't heading in the right direction to go to the restaurant that Clarke had said they were going to. "Um. You're not taking me out somewhere to murder me right? Isn't the restaurant on the way to Polis?"

"Yeah, it is," Clarke agreed, before coughing awkwardly. "See, Raven kinda suggested that I take you there, because I really am awful at dates. But about an hour ago, I decided on something a little more... um, simplistic, I guess. You like pizza, right?"

"Who doesn't?" Lexa answered, smiling again as she felt her heart rate pick up again. "So where are we going?"

"Ah, my place," Clarke answered, flashing the brunette a smile that, despite the blonde's probable intentions, gave away how nervous she was.

"Sounds good to me," Lexa said, grinning now. The idea of living away from her mom had always been appealing, and that was one of the reasons that she loved sleeping over at Anya's from a young age. She couldn't wait until she graduated high school, because even though she would be going to college where her mother worked, she would at least get to live out of her house, if all went accordingly of course. The prospect of having Clarke's apartment as a place to escape her own home pleased her, as well as the general idea of having a place to be alone with Clarke. "You don't have to be so nervous, you know? I thought you were super badass or something."

Clarke narrowed her eyes and flashed the brunette a glare. "I am."

"Mmhmm, obviously," Lexa replied sarcastically, still grinning.

"Oh shut up. I'm not nervous."

"Whatever you say."

"That is what I say."

"Alright then," Lexa returned, biting down on her lower lip to keep from laughing. Clarke tried to keep up her glare, but her lips turned up into a small smile despite her attempt.

The blonde sighed suddenly. "I don't usually... do the whole dates thing. I haven't in a while, anyway, and I guess I am a little bit nervous."

"Well, you don't need to be," Lexa insisted, glancing out the window again and noticing that they were reaching the part of town where a lot of college students and new graduates lived.

Clarke was quiet for a moment. "Do you really think that I'm badass?"

"You were kinda scary when I met you," Lexa admitted, chuckling. "But I thought it was kinda hot." Clarke raised an eyebrow, casting a sideways glance toward the brunette.

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm," Lexa answered. "Kind of intimidating, of course, but very hot."

"Well. I think we both know who the bottom is going to be once you're eighteen."

Lexa's jaw dropped as she flushed, and Clarke smirked at seeing the response out of the corner of her eye. "That's presumptuous of you."

"Oh, my bad," Clarke teased, grinning as she pulled into a parking lot that was nestled in between two apartment buildings. "We're here."

They got out of Clarke's car and Lexa followed her curiously toward one of the buildings. Clarke typed in some pass code in the keypad next to the door, and upon it beeping, the blonde opened the door. "After you," she said cheekily, allowing Lexa to step in.

"And now you're concerned with chivalry," Lexa commented.

"I just found out that you think I'm intimidating, so I'm trying to recover," Clarke teased.

"I don't think you're intimidating anymore." Lexa flashed the blonde a sweet smile. "You're actually secretly pretty sweet."

"Shut up," Clarke muttered dejectedly, though a smile peeked her lips slightly as she started for the stairs. On the second floor, they turned down a hallway and stopped in front of the fourth door. "Here we go."

Clarke unlocked and opened her door, and stepped into the apartment, Lexa following suit. "Ooh, it's nice."

"Well, it's a shoe box, but sure."

Lexa shrugged. "Considering that I have to live with my mother, any place that anyone gets to live at by themselves seems pretty awesome to me."

"Fair." Clarke walked over to her small kitchen, grabbing her phone out of her pocket. "I figured that we could order pizza and then... watch movies or TV or something. I don't know what you like to watch, though."

Lexa smiled a little. "I'm not picky – with pizza or with movies and TV."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Of course you won't just give me a straight answer," she said jokingly. "So cheese pizza is fine?"

"Yep!"

"Alright. I'll order the pizza, there are a bunch of DVDs under my TV in my room through there," Clarke said, pointing toward one of the doors, "and if you can't find something you wanna watch, we can look on Netflix."

"Okay," Lexa agreed, starting through the apartment and into Clarke's bedroom. She'd already noticed the lack of a TV in the main area of the apartment. There was the small kitchen, as well as a small table and some chairs. There was room for a TV and a couch, but in it's place was a desk, covered in homework, as well as a small shelf. Lexa supposed that it was cheaper to not have to buy a couch, and since Clarke lived alone, it would make sense that her TV would be in her bedroom.

She entered the room somewhat timidly, noticing the queen sized bed and the mounted TV, below which was a standing shelf full of DVDs. Smiling a little, Lexa tossed her phone onto Clarke's bed and crouched in front of the shelf.

Clarke walked in a minute later, and Lexa was still looking through the movies. "Do you wanna just look at Netflix?" the blonde asked, startling Lexa a little bit, and she jumped a bit.

"Sure," she agreed, recovering quickly.

"I'm sure this would be much more normal if I had a couch, but unfortunately I don't. So I hope you don't mind sitting up close and personal with me."

Lexa grinned. "I don't mind." Clarke switched on her TV, grabbing the remote and going to one side of her bed as Lexa went to the other. Clarke pushed back the blankets a bit, so Lexa did the same and they both sat with their legs crossed under the blankets and their backs against Clarke's pillows. "Your bed is comfy."

"Thanks?" Clarke chuckled.

They relaxed significantly in their close proximity as they went through Netflix and finally picked a movie to watch. Lexa hardly knew what exactly it was, even though Clarke read out the description of it, but the blonde sounded like she wanted to watch it, and Lexa didn't really care.

They started the movie and watched it in silence for ten minutes until the pizza arrived, at which point Clarke hopped up get the door and Lexa intentionally scooted a bit closer toward the middle of the bed. When Clarke returned with the food, they ate food and talked as the movie played.

By the time they'd filled up with pizza and pushed the box unceremoniously off of the bed, neither of them knew what was going on in the movie. Nevertheless, they let silence fall over them as they watched.

It was a bit more than halfway through the movie when Lexa leaned over a bit, hardly realizing, and rested her head on Clarke's shoulder tiredly. The blonde stiffened for a moment, before relaxing again.

It was about ten minutes later when Lexa realized that she was bored, no longer focused on the movie and only focused on the parts of her body touching Clarke's – her head of course, on Clarke's shoulder, and their legs brushing under the covers, since they'd both at some point extended their legs rather than keeping them crossed. Their arms were also brushing, and Lexa couldn't help but realize that this was the most physical contact they'd ever had at one time.

Lexa wanted to change that.

She nudged Clarke a little, turning her head upwards a little. When Clarke glanced down at her a bit, Lexa joined their lips in a kiss that Clarke easily reciprocated. She sat up straighter as it deepened, and Clarke pushed her tongue into Lexa's mouth suddenly. Lexa's hand moved upwards, pushing some of Clarke's hair out of her face as she hummed contently, and the blonde turned her body slightly, pressing their fronts together.

Lexa moaned quietly at their closeness.

Suddenly, Clarke was straddling the brunette across her lap, their kiss heating up considerably and causing Lexa's body to ache for the blonde. Their kiss broke for a moment of needed breath, and Lexa murmured, "Clarke..."

Clarke pulled away a bit, looking at Lexa's face carefully. "I would do so many things to you right now if I could."

"You'd have sex on the first date?" Lexa asked, smiling cheekily at the brunette.

"Mm, this hardly feels like the first date, babe," Clarke murmured in response, and Lexa moaned almost inaudibly.

"You're not wrong," she agreed quietly.

"You seem nervous. We're not going to have sex right now, you know?"

"I know," Lexa answered, slightly frustrated at herself as she realized that she was disappointed, "and I'm not nervous. Maybe slightly intimidated. I've never had sex with a girl before."

Clarke smiled, batting her eyelashes slightly. "I figured as much, but you don't need to be intimidated. I get the feeling that you'd catch on quickly."

"I'll take that as a compliment I guess," Lexa murmured, her gaze dropping down to Clarke's lips. "But since that's not happening yet, I can think of something we can do in the meantime." A grin spread across Clarke's face, but only for a moment before she leaned back down and kissed Lexa again.

The movie was forgotten as their tongues tangled together, and Lexa was sure that this was easily the best first date ever.


	16. Chapter 16

Lexa had gone home at eleven that night, long after Netflix had finished playing their movie of choice and going on to play some random show. After their not very brief make out session, they'd settled into a cuddling position and tried to watch the show for a little while before Lexa realized that it was getting a bit late, and she was actually tired enough to fall asleep. To avoid falling asleep at Clarke's apartment, despite really wanting to give in and cuddle with the blonde all night, she'd forced herself to get up. Clarke had as well, since she was Lexa's ride, and their date had ended with a sweet goodbye kiss and the promise of a text in the morning.

Lexa had slept surprisingly peacefully despite having to be alone in her own bed, and her mother had already been asleep, so she'd escaped any questioning about the dorky smile stuck on her face. Clarke had the strangest effect on her, and Lexa loved it.

Sunday morning had been peaceful, and Lexa had slept in late and woken to a good morning text from Clarke, with a note that she would be helping her friend Monty move from his mom's place into his own apartment throughout the morning and would therefore be unavailable for a while. Lexa had replied, knowing that she wouldn't get an answer, and then decided that the next best thing to hanging out with Clarke or texting her was to go over to Anya's place. She was sure that her best friend wanted to pester her about the date anyway.

However, upon arriving at Anya's house after stopping and getting herself a brief lunch and some coffee, she found that Lincoln was also over at his parents' place.

He was the one to open the door, smiling and greeting her with a, "Hey, Lexa. I didn't know you and Anya had plans today, I thought I'd come over and catch up with her a bit since our parents are out."

"Oh, we didn't have plans," Lexa was quick to say, "and I can go if you want."

"No, join us," he invited warmly. Lincoln had always been like a brother to Lexa, even though she and Anya had both seen him much less since he'd started college three years ago.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of them were sprawled across the living room couches, catching up on life and snacking on some chips that Lincoln had brought out.

"So how's school been for you guys?" Lincoln asked, and Lexa looked to her best friend to answer first, just as her phone vibrated in her lap.

"I mean, senior year is kinda more difficult than normal, but –" Lexa tuned out Anya as she glanced down at her phone.

 **From Clarke – Finally free!**

 **To Clarke – And you texted me in your first moment of freedom? I'm flattered. ;)**

 **From Clarke – Actually I went pee first. Sorry. ;)**

"Lexa?" Anya prompted her suddenly, drawing Lexa's attention away from her phone. "School?"

"Oh, yeah. It's been fine. I finally started my college application stuff last week," Lexa answered briefly.

"Are you only applying to Polis?"

Lexa shrugged. "I'll apply to a few places, but I'm probably going to go to Polis. Mom can afford it, and it's a pretty good school. Plus, they offered me a great scholarship if I get accepted, and I'm not really worried about that part."

"Well that's awesome," Lincoln agreed, nodding. "I think it'll be cool seeing you guys around campus for my last year of college next year. Kinda weird, though."

Anya snickered. "Well don't worry, we won't follow you around and try to hang out with all of your friends."

 **To Clarke – Oh damn. Bodily functions beat me :( I'm devastated.**

Lincoln chuckled. "You probably won't have to make very many new friends, considering how many people from your school will end up going to Polis. Anyway, my friends aren't assholes, so I'm sure they wouldn't care if you did hang out with them. Some of them would probably try to hit on you, though." He made a face of disgust at that. "Ugh. How's that, by the way? Tear your attention away from school a little bit to get in on the relationship drama?"

"Not me," Anya answered, shrugging, before glancing over at Lexa with a question in her eyes. When she said nothing, Anya continued stalling while Lexa mulled over whether or not to mention to Lincoln who she was dating. He might know who Clarke was, and the thought made Lexa a little nervous. She was sure that there wouldn't be judgment from him – he was like her brother, after all – but he may also have a brotherly opinion that she wouldn't want to hear. "The only time I really go out besides to get coffee or a sandwich is when this one drags me out to one of those stupid parties."

Lexa rolled her eyes, prepared to do her best to use this opportunity to drive the conversation away from relationships, but Lincoln was suddenly speaking again. "Oh, speaking of parties. A friend of a friend is throwing a kinda small friend thing at the lake on Saturday. There's a big frat party happening on campus, so we're having a smaller version of the typical bonfires, just with friends. Well... sort of just friends. My friend Nathan invited me and said I could invite some people if I wanted. I invited Echo, and she invited your friend Luna, so I figured that you guys can come too if you want to."

"Sure," Anya answered, shrugging. "As long as Luna isn't in control of the evening, I'm on board. Lexa?"

"Yeah, sure," Lexa agreed, nodding. "You know who all's on the guest list so far?"

Lincoln shook his head. "I'm not exactly sure. But anyway, sorry, I interrupted before Lexa could talk about whether or not she's been in any sort of relationship lately." He grinned widely when Lexa groaned in frustration. "That must mean that there is something going on. I hope it's not some asshole like the guy you dated last year."

"Oh no," Lexa assured quickly, before realizing that she had basically just admitted to dating someone. Anya smirked at her, and she bit her lower lip as she tried to decide what to say. "Um. I'm sort of dating someone right now, but it's not really exclusive."

"The early stages," Lincoln commented, nodding. "Well, that's cool. Has he been best friend approved?" He smiled teasingly at Anya.

Lexa took in a deep breath, deciding that she had better do this now, rather than later. Lincoln and Clarke, as well as all of their friends, went to the same college, so he was bound to find out through a friend of someone's friend at some point. "Actually... I'm dating a girl, and no, Anya hasn't met her."

Lincoln's eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he smiled anyway. "That's awesome. Why hasn't Anya met her yet, though? Don't you all go to school together?"

Anya smirked. "And this is where she tells you the interesting part, Linc. Get ready."

"Shut up," Lexa whined at her best friend, before rolling her eyes and biting her cheek nervously. "Um, she's kind of... in college. She's your age. Twenty-one."

Lincoln's eyebrows shot up suddenly. "Oh, wow. That's... interesting... When did you turn eighteen?"

"Three weeks from yesterday," Anya supplied.

"Wait, you're not eighteen yet?"

Lexa crossed her arms over her chest, feeling slightly self conscious. Her phone vibrated in her lap, and she glanced down at it subconsciously to see Clarke's name on her screen. "Ah, no," she answered, "but we're not... having sex. I mean, not yet. I mean, well, we won't before I turn eighteen."

Lincoln blinked. "Alright, but isn't the age gap kind of... hard? I feel like it would be difficult to like... find things in common with someone almost four years older than you."

"We haven't really had that problem," Lexa answered, shrugging. "And I mean... relationships aren't all about what you have in common, necessarily."

"That's true..." Lincoln nodded slowly, exchanging a glance with Anya, who shrugged. Lexa was pretty sure that her best friend had accepted it and moved on, but her brother seemed a bit more concerned. "So ah, do I know her?"

"Probably not," Lexa answered quickly, hoping to save herself from any weirder conversations.

"What's her name?"

Lexa sighed. "Clarke."

Lincoln raised his eyebrows. "Griffin?" Lexa nodded, biting the inside of her lip and hoping that whatever he was about to say wasn't something weird or bad. "Oh, yeah I think I've met her a couple of times. She's friends with some people that I'm friends with."

"Ah," Lexa said, not sure what else, if anything, she should say.

"Well... I mean, I guess that's cool. If you are both being... ya know, safe and legal... and if you both like each other, I guess you should just go for it," Lincoln stated finally. "Do many people know?"

"Some of her friends," Lexa answered, "and Anya and Luna and... you, now."

Anya shrugged. "I think that as long as she doesn't seem creepy when I meet her, and she doesn't somehow keep you from doing well in school, I'll approve."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Well thanks, Anya, your approval means everything to me. Now, uh, could we talk about something else? I think I've been on the spot enough for one day."

Laughing, Lincoln nodded and looked to Anya, asking her a question about her college application process, and Lexa let out a relaxed breath, leaning into the couch a bit. She picked up her phone again and opened her newest text from Clarke.

 **From Clarke – You were second to bodily functions though, so never fear ;) You busy?**

 **To Clarke – You mean besides being at my best friend's house and getting grilled about my love life by her brother? Nope! Why?**

 **From Clarke – Well doesn't that just sound exciting. Never mind about what I had in mind, I'm sure you don't wanna miss that ;) X**

 **To Clarke – Clarke!**

 **From Clarke – I'm working. I'm bored :(**

 **To Clarke – Say no more ;)**

"Well," Lexa said suddenly, surprising both Lincoln and Anya, "turns out that I have somewhere to be, so I'm going to let you guys have your sibling bonding time and whatnot. I'll see you Saturday, Lincoln! Bye, Anya!"

Anya smirked. "Sure, Lex. Have fun with Clarke." Lincoln chuckled as well, and Lexa gave them both her best glare.

"I will, thank you very much."

* * *

Only a handful of minutes after texting Lexa, Clarke saw the brunette coming into The Bean happily. "Hey there," Clarke called, quirking up an eyebrow, "you look like boring coffee type of girl. Can I get you one?"

"Hello to you, too," Lexa replied, smiling as she approached the counter. A few people were seated around the coffee shop. "Not so busy on Sunday afternoons?"

"Surprisingly," Clarke answered, in the process of getting Lexa coffee. "I'm starting to regret taking an extra shift today. I'd rather be painting. And I work or have class for basically every hour of the rest of this week."

"There's always next weekend," Lexa said lightly.

Clarke sighed. "Sunday maybe, and Saturday morning. Apparently I'm going to some mini bonfire thing at the lake on Saturday night. Which, by the way, if you wanted to come to so that I'm not bored out of my mind, you'd be welcome."

Lexa tilted her head a bit. "Wait, on Saturday, like a little friend of friends party thing?"

"Yeah," Clarke answered, furrowing her eyebrows a bit as she handed Lexa her coffee. The brunette took it, only to set it down and begin grabbing at her pockets for her wallet. "It's on the house, cutie."

Lexa blushed a little, but didn't argue as she picked up the coffee and took a sip of it happily. When she lowered the cup, she said, "I think I've actually already been invited to that 'mini bonfire' thing." Clarke raised an eyebrow, definitely confused now. "Anya's brother is this guy named Lincoln, and he's in his junior year of college right now. He got invited by someone named... Nathan? Apparently Luna got invited too, so he said me and Anya could come."

Clarke hummed thoughtfully. The idea of all of her friends being at the same party as Lexa and Lexa's friends – including her best friend's brotherLincoln, who Clarke was sure she'd met before – was kind of weird to her. At the same time, though, it was strangely pleasing to know that their lives were entangled in a way that wasn't just each other.

Somehow, in that moment, Clarke felt herself fall a little for the girl in front of her.

"Oh," she forced out past her thoughts, "well then looks like you'll be there anyway. I guess that means you can't turn me down now."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Like I would have. How much longer are you working for?"

"An hour or so," Clarke answered, frowning. "Could've been longer, but I'm just covering the half shift of some asshole who called in sick for just half of his shift. My boss sent me a frantic email late last night."

"An hour isn't too long," Lexa commented. She moved away from in front of the cash register, next to where people would wait for their drinks to be ready if it was early morning, when there were many customers and multiple baristas working. "Can't you go and paint when you're done?"

Clarke smiled. "Is that your low key way of getting to hang out with me for longer? Because we don't have to be at the warehouse to hang out."

"The warehouse is fun."

"It's also full of other people." Clarke raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't that what Bellamy got you a door for?"

Clarke laughed, shaking her head. "I think you just have a fetish with painting or being in an art studio or something."

"I don't think that's it," Lexa argued, though she let out a laugh of her own. "It's probably more about me liking to watch you when you're in your element."

"My element?"

"Yeah. It's cool to see you while you're making art and stuff. Plus, you always look super cute when you're in paint clothes with your hair up," Lexa insisted, smiling cheekily. Clarke felt a blush rise up to her cheeks and she smiled what she knew must be a dopey smile.

"Well, in that case," Clarke started, "I guess we can go to the warehouse when I get off."

Lexa grinned, and Clarke bit down on her lower lip to keep her smile from getting too wide. It was quite possible that Lexa was going to turn her into a pile of mush, and she honestly didn't even care.

A customer came into the coffee shop in that moment, and Lexa stood patiently sipping her own coffee as Clarke did her job. As she was handing the customer their coffee and receipt, something occurred to her. She looked curiously toward Lexa, who raised her eyebrows, expectant for a question. "Wait, you said Anya's older brother is Lincoln – as in Lincoln Tierra – right?"

Lexa nodded.

"And you texted before that Anya's older brother was questioning you about your love life... so does that mean that..."

"I told him about you and me dating?" Lexa finished, raising an eyebrow and receiving a nod from the blonde. "Ah, yeah. He was pretty chill, too, surprisingly. He's like a brother to me, so I kind of expected some long talking to or something."

Clarke let out a puff of air. "I think you and I have gotten enough 'long talking to's to last us for a long while."

"Agreed," the brunette agreed with a chuckle. "I guess it's a good thing that I told him, considering that we're both going to be at that party on Saturday."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm. I'm pretty positive that I couldn't be in the same place as you without being extremely obvious, if the last party that we were both at is any indication," Lexa stated firmly, and for some reason, that drew a smile onto Clarke's face.

"Well looks like I'll get to have a good weekend after all, then, despite the lack of painting," Clarke claimed, smiling brightly.

Business didn't pick up at all throughout Clarke's half shift, and when the guy she'd been half covering for finally rushed in, the two of them left eagerly and drove in their separate cars back to the warehouse. Clarke parked her car in its usual spot, and Lexa parked her next to it, and then they both clambered out and headed into the warehouse.

Bellamy was in his room, and glanced over her shoulder from where he was sitting at his desk when he heard people entering the building. "Hey, Clarke! Hey, Lexa."

"Hey," Clarke called back as Lexa flashed him a smile.

When they were in the art room, Clarke slid one of her extra paint shirts over the work shirt she was wearing and tied her hair up into a loose ponytail. She felt a bit self conscious as she did, since she now knew that Lexa thought she looked cute this way.

It was easy, the communication between them as Clarke painted and Lexa sat at the little table in the room, on her phone at the same time. It felt completely normal to have Lexa there with her, and Clarke smiled to herself as she realized that this was just another reaffirmation for what she'd realized earlier – she was definitely falling for this girl.


	17. Chapter 17

The week went by agonizingly slowly once it occurred to Lexa during school on Monday that she probably wouldn't get a chance to see Clarke at all until maybe Friday night. It was a rather depressing realization, and it somewhat surprised Lexa that it hurt so much to think that she might not see Clarke's bright smile for five days.

How did that happen? One day, you see a face you've never seen before and it makes you look twice, and then a month later, that face is all you want to look at. On one hand, it made Lexa feel warm and fuzzy, but on the other, it was terrifying. She hadn't ever felt like this about anybody.

Monday passed by quickly, despite her mood, and it ended rather nicely with a phone call from Clarke while the blonde was heading home from The Bean and Lexa was trying to keep her eyes open after hours of forcing herself to do homework. Hearing Clarke's voice was not the same as seeing her in person, of course, but it was a decent filler.

On Tuesday, Lexa wondered if what she was feeling could be defined as feeling clingy. Was it clingy that she wished she could see Clarke every day? Or that was constantly conscious of her phone, hoping it would vibrate to let her know that she'd gotten a new text? She didn't want to be a cliché – the clingy girl hanging around the older boy, or girl in this case, and eventually driving them away.

But it didn't feel that way necessarily, and Lexa definitely didn't think that Clarke saw it that way.

Sometimes it felt like Anya saw it that way. Anya would sometimes comment on Lexa's relationship with Clarke as if it wasn't something serious, or wasn't something to be considered in the whirlwind of life. Lexa knew that that was probably because it wasn't her relationship, but sometimes she wondered if her best friend thought that it would eventually just die out and fade away.

On the plus side, Lexa knew for sure that Anya had at least accepted the fact that Lexa was a lesbian. She'd stopped bringing up guys, and on Tuesday even asked Lexa if she thought a certain girl was attractive. It was a strange shift, but if Anya was slow to accept Lexa dating Clarke, at least she could get past the fact that she liked girls.

On Tuesday night, Clarke texted to say that she'd just gotten out of work after a long day of classes and was going to bed. Lexa didn't see the text until twenty minutes later, at which point she sighed sadly and tossed her phone away, laying down on her bed and staring up at the ceiling.

Her frenzy of different thoughts regarding Anya's opinion on her relationship had brought up a new question that she had avoided throughout the whole day. What exactly was her relationship with Clarke? Sure, they'd technically only been out on one date, but as Clarke had pointed out, it hadn't felt like the first date. At this point, it had been about a month since they'd met. It felt like longer, honestly.

But what was it really? Lexa really liked Clarke, and Clarke really liked Lexa, and they were going on dates and hanging out and kissing... were they girlfriends? Was that a conversation that still had to be had? Lexa hadn't called Clarke her girlfriend at all, because it hadn't really felt necessary to clarify, but if she had said that, would it have been wrong? Were she and Clarke girlfriends, or were they just casually dating?

She was sure that Clarke wasn't seeing anyone else, and Lexa definitely wasn't either, but were they explicitly exclusive? Did Clarke want that? Lexa definitely did.

Groaning, she reached for where she'd tossed her phone, and then started a text to the blonde.

 **To Clarke – Okay, I hope you sleep well. Btw, are you gonna be free on Friday night?**

She expected, and received, no reply, and soon the need to sleep had overpowered her never ending train of thought, and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Wednesday was easier, because she went over to Anya's after school and they forwent doing homework in favor of watching random movies off of Netflix. Lexa was pretty sure that Anya had realized how distracted Lexa had been over the past few days, and she appreciated her best friend's attempt to divert her thoughts. For the time that they were curled up in front of Anya's TV, it worked.

Thursday was like another Tuesday, and Lexa texted back and forth with Clarke all day while wondering what they were exactly. Clarke confirmed that she would be free on Friday night – but only if Lexa was willing to come to her apartment. Lexa, of course, was not opposed to doing so.

But Clarke had work for most of the afternoon until then, so on Friday, Lexa went straight home from school. She tried to make it upstairs before her mom could realize she was home – since the woman's Friday afternoon classes had been canceled. However, she had no such luck.

"Lexa! Did you eat lunch at school?"

"Uh, yeah?" Lexa stopped halfway up the stairs, turning and looking down at her mom, who had just exited from the kitchen.

"I have a fancy dinner sort of thing on campus today, but it's gonna be kind of late, so I thought maybe you could sit and chat with me while I have a late lunch, since we won't be able to have dinner together," her mom suggested, smiling.

"Mom, we never have dinner together," Lexa reminded the older woman with a raised eyebrow.

Her mother frowned. "Then maybe I would just like some time to catch up with you. Come down here and talk with me while I eat."

"Fine," Lexa agreed, sighing as she dropped her school bag on the stairs and trudged back down and then into the kitchen. She followed her mom over to their little breakfast nook that overlooked their small backyard. It was a little late for lunch, but Lexa chose not to question her mom's strange eating time. She was almost completely sure, anyway, that her mother had done it just to have an excuse to talk to Lexa.

"Have you been working on your college applications?"

"Yep."

Her mom coughed awkwardly. "Uh, well do you wanna tell me about it?"

"I've almost put together my whole application for Polis."

"Are you going to apply anywhere other than Polis?"

Lexa shrugged. "Sure, I'll apply for a few other schools, but Polis will be the easiest option, and it's not a bad school. They offer a wide range of majors, and I still don't know what I want to do yet, so that's perfect. Plus, they offered me a scholarship."

"I know, I was just curious. Obviously, I'm all for Polis. But oh, that reminds me. Are you going to graduate valedictorian?" Her mom gave her wide, expectant eyes.

"Um, no. I think that Anya will be getting it, actually. She's always had the slightly higher grades. The only difference is that we're taking different classes that don't necessarily have the same difficulty, but our GPAs get truncated before they rank us, so she'll probably end up above me," Lexa answered, though she hardly cared. "I'll be in the top percentages though."

"Mm. I thought you were focusing all of your energy on school. What happened to you recently, Lexa? You've been off of the radar more, at home less. I feel like I haven't had a real conversation with you since the beginning of summer," her mom said, narrowing her eyes in concern.

"I guess I've just developed a life separate from school, which is probably good considering that school isn't going to be my whole life forever."

The older woman cleared her throat. "Yes, but right now, that should be most all of your life. School is what's going to get you the rest of your life. You know that. I talked to Anya's mom, and she said that she's been just as focused as usual, and that she hasn't been out of the house as much on the weekends as you seem to have been. So who have you been hanging out with if not Anya?"

"My friend Luna," Lexa lied quickly, "you remember her?"

Her mom let out an displeased noise. "Oh yes, I do. She doesn't seem like the best kind of friend."

"She's a really good friend," Lexa insisted. She glanced down at her mom's plate of food, happy to see that it was almost gone. "Don't worry, mom, I'm on track for college. And I'm eighteen in less than three weeks, so soon I'm technically not even fully your responsibility."

"Lexa," her mom chided, "your well being will always be part of my responsibility. I'm your mother, and I want you to have a good life."

Lexa opened her mouth to reply, though she wasn't sure with what, when her mom's phone beeped from the kitchen counter.

"Oh! I forgot that I have to call another professor sometime before four! I better do that now."

"Ah, what time will you be out tonight?" Lexa asked quickly, as her mother stood and brought her empty plate to the sink.

"I'll be gone from probably seven until maybe eleven or so... maybe later, sometimes the professors go out for drinks after the conference dinners," she answered dismissively.

Lexa thought for a moment, and then found herself saying, "I might stay over at Anya's then."

"Sure thing, Lexa, as long as you've finished your homework. Now, I've gotta make this call. Thank you for chatting with me, I've missed this. Love you!" She grabbed her phone and rushed out of the room, leaving Lexa with a puzzled look on her face. Her mother was so strange and hard to understand – at some points, she wanted to be the only person in Lexa's life, and in another moment, she hardly cared about what Lexa was doing.

Lexa wasn't entirely sure that she minded, though.

That was until she found herself driving the way to Clarke's apartment, and the conversation that she'd had with Anya the Friday before dawned on her. She'd been lying to her mother for most of the summer already, and definitely now when it came to what she as doing all of the time. Her mother had such high expectations for her. What would she think if she knew that Lexa was gay, and that she was dating someone who probably fell below, in her mind, the type of people she wanted Lexa to date?

It made Lexa feel sick to think about it, but she tried her best to push it all out of her head as she approached the front doors of Clarke's apartment building. She recalled the number of Clarke's apartment and hit the little buzzer next to it. She was buzzed in without question, and it caused a small smile to appear on her face.

When she got up to Clarke's apartment, she knocked twice, and a few seconds later, the door swung open. Clarke was wearing sweats and a tank top, and Lexa was wearing similar clothes as well. It was a Friday night, after all.

"Hey," Clarke greeted, sounding tired.

"How was work?" Lexa asked as she stepped into the room. Clarke closed the door behind her.

"Boring." Clarke stepped closer to the brunette and placed a soft kiss on her lips, which Lexa leaned into, biting Clarke's lip when the blonde tried to pull away. Clarke chuckled at that, and the kiss lasted a few more seconds.

"Sorry," Lexa apologized without any hint of actual regret, "I just haven't seen you all week."

"Mm, valid," Clarke said, nodding. "You want food? I ordered pizza late last night and I have some cold leftovers in the fridge."

"Sure," Lexa agreed. Clarke smiled happily, turning around to step into her small kitchen. As she did, Lexa smiled to herself and silently sneaked out of the room and into Clarke's bedroom instead. The blonde's bed was messily made, and she wondered briefly if Clarke had made it just before Lexa came over. Unable to resist, Lexa sat on the blankets and leaned against the headboard.

Clarke came in with a puzzled look on her face a few seconds later, two slices of cold pizza in her hands. "Sure, Lexa, come on in and sit on my bed."

"It's comfy," Lexa justified, grinning as Clarke rolled her eyes and handed her one of the slices of pizza. She came and sat by Lexa as they started eating, and silence settled between them for a moment.

When they were finally finishing their pizza, Clarke turned to look at Lexa and said, "Well, you know how my week went, but how was yours?"

Lexa was just about to answer that it had been fine, or average at least, but both would've been a lie, and something inside of her seemed to deflate and give in, and she answered, "It was awful."

"What? Why?" Clarke asked, suddenly very concerned.

"I... just... ugh, multiple reasons. But right now I'm worn out from thinking about my mom," Lexa answered, slumping slightly against Clarke's headboard.

"What about your mom?" Clarke wondered softly, shifting so that her full body was sort of facing Lexa, rather than just her face. It gave the younger girl the impression that Clarke was actually fully listening, and that was something that Lexa rarely saw in anyone she'd ever spoken to. It made her feel special, somehow.

"She drives me insane. She has all of these high expectations for me, and I can meet most of them, because that's the way I was raised. You know, do well in school, focus on schoolwork over other things, get into college for four more years of school... which is fine, because I do want to go to college. But it's like she thinks that there shouldn't be any other aspect to me life. It really doesn't help that she's a fucking professor either," Lexa muttered, groaning and letting her eyelids fall over her tired eyes. "I was talking to Anya last week, and it made me think about how my mom would react if I told her that I'm gay.

"I'd like to think that she wouldn't care very much, but realistically... she'd see it as something that's somehow occupying my time. She wouldn't understand. She'd think that it was something distracting me from everything else – a phase or something else like that. It makes me never want to tell her. She would be so disappointed.

"And it sucks even more when I think about that," Lexa added quickly, just as she realized something else, "because now I'm thinking... what would my dad think? I know he doesn't care about me – he didn't even care enough to meet me at all as a kid. He was disappointed to even have a kid, wouldn't he be so much more disappointed to find out that I wasn't the perfect kid that I could've been?"

"Lexa," Clarke interrupted quickly, her voice softer than possibly any other time that Lexa had heard her speak, "you are not any less perfect because you're gay. And if your father was disappointed that you were born, he's an asshole, which means that his opinion definitely doesn't matter at all. As for your mom... sometimes parents are weird, and they forget about the whole love and care part of a family relationship, and jump straight to other things. For your mom, it's the drive for school and whatnot. For my parents, it's the 'well, we raised you, and we did kinda shitty job but at least we can pay for your college'... Even then, that's what my mom does. My dad is just... kinda checked out. So I get you on all the fucked up parents shit. But no matter what your mom says or does, it doesn't change who you are. And you are amazing, okay? You're smart, and beautiful, and funny, and yeah, you're gay, but you know, I'm not really mad at that."

Lexa heard a laugh escape through her own lips, and she opened her eyes to meet Clarke's blue gaze. "You know... I think I've figured you out."

Clarke blinked, seemingly caught off guard. "What?"

"I think I know why you're the way you are," Lexa murmured, tilting her head a little.

"Which is...?"

"Closed off, always being short with people and pretending like you're not secretly super sweet, which you are," Lexa answered, smiling. "I think I know why."

Clarke quirked up an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Why?"

"It's because of your parents," Lexa said softly, turning slightly to face Clarke a little more. "Because they broke your trust, and screwed up the part of your life that you had on track. And I think you're scared that other people would do that, too."

Clarke smiled a little, and Lexa realized suddenly how close they were, and that Clarke's hand was resting lightly on her hip, drawing little circles over and over again over her shirt. "You might be right. But at this point, that's just kinda me. But you're right, I'm secretly sweet – but only with you... and maybe my friends, sometimes."

Lexa laughed quietly, rolling her eyes. "Works for me."

"Are you tired?"

"A little, but you look more tired," Lexa admitted, chuckling again. "If you were that tired, you could've told me not to come over."

Clarke shook her head. "Why would I do that? How tired I am doesn't change how much I missed seeing you," she insisted, pouting adorably. "Plus, you clearly needed to talk." Lexa couldn't resist scooting forward a little and pressing a kiss to those lips, one that was instantly returned. It was short, though, because they were both definitely tired.

Much closer to Clarke now, Lexa glanced between beautiful blue eyes and then murmured, "Thank you. For letting me talk. I feel a lot better."

"Good," Clarke whispered, smiling softly.

"Can I sleep here?" Lexa heard herself asking, aware that her green eyes were widening hopefully.

Clarke blinked in surprise. "Of course, but is that okay...?"

"My mom thinks I'm at Anya's house," Lexa offered up, unsure if that's what Clarke meant by her question. "I just want to be close to you. I missed you."

Clarke softened again immediately. "Of course, Lexa."

That's how they ended up sliding under the covers ten minutes later – after Lexa got up and went to the bathroom and washed her face – curling up next to each other. As Lexa buried her face into Clarke's neck, she realized that cuddling with the blonde was easily the most comfortable thing she'd ever experienced. She never wanted to move, so she pretended, as she drifted off to sleep, that she would never have to.


	18. Chapter 18

Lexa woke up slowly on Saturday morning, and the first thing she realized was that her face was nestled against a mix of skin and clothing. Her eyes shot open in surprise, and it took her only a moment to remember the previous night, and then she relaxed. That was until she realized that her face was basically cuddled into Clarke's cleavage, at which point she felt her entire face get warm. She gently pulled backwards, only to hear Clarke groan and tighten the grip she had around the brunette.

Lexa chuckled quietly, scooting upwards a little and kissing the corner of Clarke's lips. The blonde murmured something unintelligible, and Lexa sighed contently at this feeling she had from waking up next to Clarke. It was warm and fuzzy, and just happy. She wanted to stay tangled up with the blonde in bed for as long as possible, so she rested her head against Clarke's chest again, very aware of how close to her cleavage she was, and let her eyes flicker closed again.

When she awoke again later, it must've been about an hour later, and it was far less warm than the first time. It took her only a handful of seconds of adjusting her position to realize that Clarke wasn't in the bed anymore. She still hadn't opened her eyes when she registered the sound of talking from the direction of Clarke's bathroom.

"Yeah, I'll probably go for a couple hours before that thing tonight," Clarke's voice was saying. "What time does that start again?"

Lexa didn't hear the response, and as she finally started becoming more aware, she realized that that was because Clarke was on the phone. Groaning, she lifted her hands and wiped her eyes, before finally opening them to face the bright light of the morning.

"I didn't wake up that late," Lexa heard Clarke argue, "and there's no reason."

Lexa smiled a little, sitting up and glancing over to the door to Clarke's bathroom, which was slightly ajar. She assessed her surroundings, and realized that her phone was on the floor next to her, probably having fallen sometime during her sleep. She reached down and grabbed it, checking the time. It was nearly noon, but she was hardly surprised, considering how rested she felt.

Sleeping next to Clarke was definitely the best way to sleep.

"Yeah, I'll be there in like an hour or something," Clarke said. "Yep. See you then. Bye, Bell." Just as Clarke ended her phone call, the bathroom door opened and the blonde stepped out into her bedroom. "Oh, you're awake."

"Mm," Lexa hummed sleepily. "Your bed is really comfy."

"So you've said," Clarke said with a light laugh. "So you slept okay?"

"Yes," Lexa confirmed, smiling at the blonde. "I slept perfectly. I woke up earlier, at I don't know what time, cuddled into your cleavage, though." She felt her face flush as she admitted it, and Clarke laughed.

"Well, was it comfortable at least?"

"Mmhmm," Lexa hummed, glancing back down at her phone just as it vibrated.

 **From Luna – Where U at? Ur mom said u r at Anya's, but An said she hasn't seen u since school yesterday?**

Lexa groaned, looking up from her phone as Clarke sat back on her bed next to the brunette. "People texting you trying to steal you away?"

"Something like that," Lexa agreed, shrugging. "It's Luna. Anya told her on Thursday that we got invited to the party thing tonight, and she freaked out about how fun it's going to be and how she wants to hang out beforehand so that we can help her pick an outfit."

Clarke laughed. "She sounds like fun."

"Sure, but I'd rather just stay here," Lexa mumbled, pulling Clarke's blanket up a bit as she shivered.

"Well I'll be heading to the warehouse soon," Clarke said softly, "because Bell is going to help me start listing some of my art on etsy."

"Oh, that's cool. I guess that means I have to leave?"

Laughing again, Clarke answered, "I don't think there's much for you to do here while I'm not here."

"That's true," Lexa agreed, "though you do have a comfy bed and a TV right in front of it, so I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could occupy myself just fine." She smiled widely at the blonde. "But I'll leave. I'll stop by The Bean on my way home so I can get some food and coffee."

"Okay," Clarke said softly. "Feel free to use the bathroom before you go."

"Thanks!"

* * *

"Ah, and she finally shows her face!" Bellamy teased, smiling at Clarke as she entered his room of the warehouse. Blue eyes rolled at his tone, and he laughed. "Guess you were tired last night?"

"Yep."

"That all?"

Clarke scoffed. "Why are you so insistent that there's something else?"

"Because you usually wake up at a reasonable time, and if you hadn't and I'd called you to wake you up, you would've sounded grateful that I didn't let you sleep in. Instead, you were hostile as fuck, which means that you didn't want to get up," Bellamy deducted, raising his eyebrows. "Which leads me to believe that there was something else – someone else, specifically – in your bed with you."

"Ugh, you're the worst friend ever," Clarke accused, though she didn't mean it and she knew that Bellamy knew that. "Lexa slept over at my place."

"Figured," Bellamy said, nodding, "but I thought she hadn't been to your place yet?"

"No, I... didn't take her out to a restaurant last Saturday. I wanted our date to be a little more simple, so we had pizza at my place. Last night she came over to hang out for a little while, and we were both tired, so I said she could sleep there. It wasn't a huge deal," Clarke explained, shrugging. "I slept really fucking well, though."

"Hence why you weren't up early?"

Clarke hummed. "I guess. So. Etsy?"

"Yeah! So while I was waiting for you, I stole Raven's fancy camera and went into your art room and took a nice photo of any piece of art I could grab without messing up your room or anything. They just finished uploading onto my computer, so you can go through and tell me which ones you want to sell, and then we can make your etsy profile and start listing them," Bellamy explained, turning his chair to look back at his computer. Clarke got closer, nodding.

"Sounds easy enough."

It was a couple hours of picking, listing, and pricing later that they were finally finished, and Clarke felt a strong sense of excitement at the realization that she'd just listed her artwork for sale. She then downloaded the etsy app onto her phone so that she could get any notifications from there, and felt suddenly very accomplished.

She couldn't imagine how she would feel if anyone actually bought her work.

At that point, most of her friends had arrived at the warehouse, so she made her way into Octavia's room. She found the brunette sprawled across the plush rug spread on her floor, sipping a bear and doing something or another with her phone. "You should really get a chair or something in here."

Octavia glanced up at the blonde. "Oh yeah, I think I'm gonna drag one of those bean bag chairs into here."

"So why didn't you do that before you fell onto your floor?" Clarke teased, turning around and stepping back into the entrance of the building and grabbing one of the bean bags. She brought it back to Octavia, who was grinning.

"Thanks!" her friend said brightly, moving to sit on it. "You hyped for the party tonight? I asked Murphy, and there's only supposed to be around thirty people there tops. But there's gonna be tons of alcohol, so we can get wasted as fuck!"

"I'm not sure about how wasted I'm going to get."

"Oh come on, C!" Octavia whined. "I get it – you're all responsible and stuff now, but don't you ever wanna go back to your party phase?"

"Not really. Plus, Lexa is going to be there."

Octavia tilted her head. "Did you invite her?"

"Well, yeah," Clarke answered, "but turns out that her friend Anya's brother invited them both, and another of their friends, before I did."

"Are any of them eighteen?" Octavia wondered, and Clarke shook her head. "Well then I hope the cops don't suddenly show up."

"Why would they? They never show up at normal bonfires, and if they're going to have eyes anywhere, it'll be campus. So much crazy shit goes down at those frat parties," Clarke stated, leaning against the wall.

"You'd know," Octavia commented, and Clarke scoffed, but didn't say anything about it. "Well, I thought we could all carpool to avoid the whole drinking and driving hazard, so if you wanna be our sober driver..."

"I didn't say I'm going to stay completely sober," Clarke argued, frowning.

Octavia huffed. "Okay, well we don't have anyone else who's going to stay sober."

"I will," Bellamy called from his room.

"Bell, you are always our sober driver." Clarke glanced out the door, across the entrance and into Bellamy's room.

"And that's because I don't enjoy drinking very much," he called back, "so don't worry about it."

"Thanks, bro, you and your minivan is the best!" Octavia shouted, grinning. "I still think it's weird that he bought a minivan. Anyway, like I was saying, I figured we could all carpool there from here, unless any of us need to go back and change first, in which case we can do rounds to pick everyone up, I guess."

"I think he bought a minivan because you've been forcing him to drive us all around for years," Clarke stated. "But that works for me. I will have to go home and change, though."

"Alright. But I'm more concerned about whether or not Finn is going to carpool with us. Because the party starts in a couple of hours, and he just walked in half an hour ago with a girl."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Well, if the girl leaves before we do, then we'll ask him. If not, he can stay here until he's ready to join the rest of us."

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "You're not going to go enforce your no significant others rule?" Clarke narrowed her eyes.

"I don't think that I can enforce that anymore without being a hypocrite," Clarke reminded her friend.

"True."

"I'll see you later, I'm gonna paint a little and then head home and get ready for tonight," Clarke said, pushing herself off of the wall and starting out of her friend's room.

"I'll be expecting to hear music blasting from your art studio to block out the sound of Finn and that girl in his room!" Octavia called after her, and Clarke cringed at the thought.

She didn't end up staying at the warehouse for very long, though, and after a while she was back at her apartment. She couldn't help but feel lonely when she got there, since just a few hours ago, Lexa had been curled up in her bed, sound asleep. It had been a heartwarming thing to wake up to. Lexa looked incredibly peaceful, and Clarke had hated having to get out of bed and leave her there alone. Though, it had surprised her how quickly the brunette had woken up after she'd left the bed.

Shaking Lexa from her thoughts, Clarke went straight to her closet and began stripping off her clothing. She scanned over the options she had of what to wear. She grabbed her phone from where it had just fallen with her pants onto the floor and checked the weather. It was hot out right now, which she knew, and it was apparently supposed to stay warm for the rest of the evening. The weather in Polis was always weird in the fall, alternating from burning hot to shiver inducing.

 **To Octavia and Raven – Are you guys wearing bikinis?**

 **From Raven – Hell yea. Bringing clothes tho just in case it gets cold. U know this BS weather. But it's our last chance to tan b4 it's sweater weather. I'm gonna look white AF if I don't wear a bikini and get some last minute sun.**

 **From Octavia – What she said. I asked Miller and he said that we won't be the only ones.**

Clarke tossed her phone onto her bed and reached into her closet, grabbing for her black bikini and some shorts, as well as a long sleeved, black shirt, just in case it did get cold. She slid the bikini bottom on and then tied on the top, carrying her shorts and shirt into her bathroom before putting them on.

She looked over herself. She hadn't worn a bikini in a while, considering the summer classes she'd been taking and the fact that there weren't many college aged bonfires over the summer. Her friends had dragged her out to go swimming in the lake a few times., but what Clarke couldn't figure out was why she felt so self conscious, thinking about wearing a bikini.

It took all of three seconds for her to figure it out. It was Lexa – she felt shy in front of Lexa. As she let herself admit it, a red blush spread up to her cheeks, and she shook her head in frustration and slid on her shorts. For now, she also pulled on the long sleeved shirt.

It was six when Bellamy texted that he was outside in the car. Clarke checked that she had her phone and her ID – in case by some strange occurrence she would need it – and then locked up her apartment and headed down. When she got to the car, the back door popped open, and she found herself squishing into the very back of the car, next to Raven and Octavia. Jasper and Monty were in the middle seats, and Finn was in the passenger seat next to Bellamy.

"Why are you wearing a shirt?" Raven whined as Clarke buckled her seat belt.

"I'm wearing my bikini under the shirt, chill," Clarke insisted, rolling her eyes.

"You're gonna take it off before we get out at the lake, right?" Raven asked. "I feel like we're going to be the only ones in bikinis, and it'll be weird. There is power in numbers."

"Sure, Rae," Clarke agreed, rolling her eyes.

"Plus," Octavia said with a grin, "don't you wanna show off your great boobs to Lexa?"

"Wait," Jasper said suddenly, apparently having been listening despite the conversation he'd been having with Monty a moment earlier, "Lexa as in teenager Lexa?"

"Yeah," Raven said for her, "apparently Clarke's been dating a seventeen year old."

"Yeah, so what?" Clarke snapped, daring one of them to say anything against it.

"So nothing," Octavia answered in a rush. "Lexa's great, if you're going to date any seventeen year old, she's probably the best one. Now everyone lay off Clarke, I was just kidding about the boobs thing."

"Wait," Finn called from the front of the car, "Lexa's going to be there?"

"Her friend's brother invited her," Clarke called in response. "His name's Lincoln, I guess Miller invited him."

"Oh, I've met him," Monty said, nodding. "He's cool."

"Oh, is he that super hot guy who's in your bio class, Monty?" Octavia asked, a grin spreading across her face as the guy nodded in response. "Damn. I wonder if he'd be interested in me. Do you think? He's so hot."

"Oh god, here we go," Bellamy muttered, and Clarke rolled her eyes. They were almost to the lake, Clarke realized, as she zoned out from the conversation that had just turned to how hot Lincoln was. When the car was finally parked in the little parking lot up about a minute's walk from the lake, Clarke was the first person rushing them all to get out. She had to wait for Jasper and Monty to climb out before she could, and then she let out a breath of relief.

It was kind of weird being there when there weren't hundreds of people around, but it felt somehow cooler this way. Clarke peeled off her shirt, tossing it into the middle seats of the car in case she needed it later, and then began following her friends down to the water.

There were three beer kegs – and Clarke wasn't sure how Murphy thought they'd drink all of that – as well as a few bags sitting next to them that were probably carrying even more alcohol. There weren't a ton of people around yet, but she saw Miller and his boyfriend Bryan setting up a speaker off near the edge of the forest. Murphy, Harper and a few people whom Clarke had never met were all standing around the beer kegs, talking and laughing about something.

"The highlight of the party has arrived!" Octavia shouted as they walked down to the group.

"Hey guys!" Harper greeted, grinning.

"Damn, Griffin, I can't remember the last time I saw you in a bikini," Murphy said, his eyes widening.

"If you wanna keep your manhood, Murphy, I'd get your eyes off of my boobs," Clarke snapped.

Bellamy smirked. "Clarke's still mad at you from the party two weekends ago."

"I still don't even know what I did wrong," Murphy admitted, frowning, and Clarke just rolled her eyes and shook her head. She didn't want to get into this again.

"Anyway," Harper interrupted, rolling her eyes, "how have you all been?"

Conversation started up around Clarke, and she glanced away from the group and over at Miller and Bryan, who were headed back toward them just as music began to play from the speaker. "Hey, Clarke!" Miller greeted.

"Hey Miller, hey Bryan. How are you guys?" she asked. She'd never been the best of friends with Miller, but he'd been there for her more than once during her darker times a few years prior.

"We're good," Miller said, smiling. "How about you? Happy to be two months from graduating?"

"Oh yeah," Clarke answered, nodding profusely. "So done with college. I just want to paint, sell my art, and live my goddamn life."

"Hey guys!" someone suddenly called, causing Clarke and everyone else to glance over to where another group of people were walking up. Clarke recognized them vaguely as Lincoln and some of his friends. She remembered that they were some of the college kids that Lexa had been with during the party she'd been at as well, but she didn't recall any of their names.

Lincoln met her gaze suddenly, and Clarke could feel him summing her up. Clarke flushed, remembering that Lexa had said that he was like a brother to her, and she suddenly felt shy. That was not something she enjoyed feeling, however, so she quickly did her best to steel herself from it and turn around to make introductions like the rest of her friends were doing.

She caught some of their names – Quint, Echo and Nyko. "Hey guys," Murphy said to all of them, "just a quick reminder that if you drink and you're under twenty-one, you better lie if you get caught and say that you brought your own damn drinks."

Echo laughed, and Clarke assumed that she must be nineteen or twenty.

"Hey, Clarke," Octavia called suddenly, and the blonde looked over to meet her gaze only to see her wiggling her eyebrows and nodding toward the treeline next to the parking lot. Clarke glanced in the direction and saw Lexa and two other girls that she recognized as Anya and Luna breaking through the treeline, saying something or another to each other.

* * *

"Why are you nervous?" Luna demanded as Anya drove them to the lake.

"I'm not!" Lexa denied.

Luna rolled her eyes. "You're bouncing your knee like if you stop we might blow up! So what the fuck?"

"It's just weird," Lexa insisted, "that we're going to a party that Clarke is going to be at, and it isn't some big thing where we won't even see her. You guys will probably actually meet her."

"So?" Anya asked, furrowing her eyebrows. "Shouldn't we get to meet her?"

"I mean, yeah sure," Lexa answered, biting on her lower lip, "but I'm just nervous about it. Plus, Lincoln's going to be there, as well as all of Clarke's friends, including Finn."

"Didn't you say that Clarke is scary? If Finn tries to say anything to you, wouldn't she just beat him up?" Anya asked.

"She's not scary!" Lexa exclaimed. "And Finn definitely isn't scared of her."

"Chill out, Lexa," Luna insisted. "It will be fine."

"I guess I'm just nervous that you guys won't like her," Lexa said quietly, glancing out the window and letting out a sigh as she realized that they were pulling into the parking lot. She was sure that there wasn't really anything to be nervous about, but thus far, the part of her life involving Clarke had remained entirely separate from the rest of her life. On one hand, she was glad that the two pieces were coming together, but it was terrifying all the same.

Luna had come in a bikini, saying that Echo was wearing a bikini and that a lot of girls were. Lexa and Anya were both wearing shorts and tank tops instead, and though Luna hadn't been surprised, she'd tutted at them as if she was somehow better for wearing less clothes.

Lexa was starting to get used to the strange in between that she had developed regarding her friends, and how she identified herself. She wasn't the same girl as she was months earlier, but she wasn't some brand new person either. Conversations with Luna, like the one about their clothing choices, usually made her realize that.

"Wait," Luna started saying as they got out of Anya's car, "Anya, which guy from the last party we were at is your brother?"

"The bald one," Anya answered.

"Wait, for real?" Luna asked, jaw dropping. "He's fucking hot."

"You think everyone in college is hot," Lexa chided. They were breaking through the treeline now.

"They are," Luna justified. "Do you think we'll all go through a super hot phase in college, too?"

"Oh my god, that's a lot of beer," Anya said, and Lexa finally looked forward, down in the direction that they were walking. There was music playing from a speaker closer to the trees, and there were indeed three beer kegs sitting around the group of people. There were about twenty total, including the three of them. It didn't seem like anyone was drinking yet, which Luna commented on as they made their way closer.

Lexa's gaze suddenly caught a blue one, though, and she felt her face light up as she realized that Clarke was looking at her.

"Oh hey guys," Lincoln was saying suddenly, drawing Lexa's gaze away. He then glanced at the five or six people standing around him who's conversation had halted upon their arrival. "Guys, this is my sister Anya, and her friends Luna and Lexa."

"Oh, we've met Lexa," Raven commented, smirking as Clarke crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Surprisingly, I think I've met her as well," one guy – who Lexa immediately recognized as the guy who had been trying to flirt with her at the last party she'd gone to – said.

Clarke scoffed. "Shut the fuck up, Murphy," she snapped.

"What! I didn't say anything bad!"

Bellamy laughed. "I think even looking at Lexa will be enough of reason for Clarke to murder you, dude. I told you, she's still mad at you about before."

"Whatever," Murphy said quickly, shaking his head. "How about we open a keg?" He flashed Clarke a glare and then turned around, and Luna grabbed Anya and pulled her toward the keg as a few other people followed him.

As the people dispersed, Lexa realized suddenly that Clarke was wearing a bikini, and her mouth went dry and she was sure that her eyes widened as their gaze fell on her chest. She immediately snapped her eyes up though, and saw Clarke smirking at her. "Hello to you, too," she teased, and Lexa flushed, taking a step closer to the blonde.

"Hey," she said, "how was listing all of your art?"

"Went well," Clarke answered, nodding. "I feel strangely adult because of it."

"Newsflash, you are an adult," Lexa reminded her, laughing and raising an eyebrow.

"Wow thanks, I had no idea." Clarke did her best to scoff, but she ended up smiling anyway. "It's highly possible that none of it will sell, though."

"Oh shut up," Lexa chided, "I bet you'll sell at least one thing within the week."

"What do you wanna bet?" Clarke asked, stepping a little closer and smirking as she lifted an eyebrow suggestively.

"Loser has to buy dinner for the other?" Lexa suggested.

"Mm. That's vanilla, but sure," Clarke agreed. "Now, I think I need some beer."

They made their way over to the keg and each filled a red solo cup with beer, and just as they were done, they were bombarded by Anya and Luna. Lexa groaned inwardly as they appeared in front of them. "Hi!" Luna said to Clarke. "I'm Luna, this is Anya."

"Hey," Clarke returned, glancing in between them with surprise, and then looking to Lexa, who probably looked like she wanted to drop dead. "Nice to meet you guys."

"You too," Luna said. "Sorry, Anya was muttering about how she still hadn't gotten to speak to you. She's still half convinced that you're evil."

"I never said that," Anya said in a rush, and Clarke raised an amused eyebrow at her. "Ugh, nice to meet you. We're gonna, ah, go." Anya grabbed Luna and tugged her away quickly.

"I'm sorry about them," Lexa said, taking a long drink from her cup.

Clarke laughed and shook her head. "It's fine. My friends have been far worse about you, so you really don't need to apologize."

Clarke and Lexa stayed together for a good portion of the beginning of the party, and Lexa found herself feeling a bit shy around her friends. However, they ended up actually being very nice to her, and found herself relaxing a lot around them. She actually found that she got along pretty well with both Octavia and Raven, and Bellamy seemed really nice as well.

At some point, Lexa felt herself getting tipsy – a feeling she hadn't had since the summer – and she excused herself from the group to get some air. Luna bombarded her as she was walking. "Where you going?"

"No where," Lexa answered, "just needed a breather. I think I drank a little too much."

"It's a party, that's what you're supposed to do," Luna insisted. "Anyway. How are things with your girlfriend? She's really hot – have I mentioned that before?"

"Yes," Lexa said, laughing, "and you're not wrong. Ugh she's so hot."

"Why do you sound so mad about that?" Luna asked, laughing. "Aw, wait, I remember this from the summer. You're such a horny drunk. Wishing that you and your girlfriend were willing to break the law?"

Lexa rolled her eyes. "She's not my girlfriend... I mean... I don't think... but I mean, I'd like her to be."

"Wait, you guys still haven't talked about that?" Luna asked, her eyebrows knitting together. "Oh come on, there's no way that you guys aren't exclusive. You better get on that, Lex."

"Is there any water anywhere?"

"Not that I know of. I mean, unless you wanna drink lake water, but I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of reasons that you shouldn't do that," Luna answered, laughing. "Looks like you're going to have to push through the tipsiness, Lexa. I'm going to go find where Echo went. See ya."

As Luna walked off, someone else was suddenly approaching Lexa. She turned and saw that it was Clarke. "You okay?" Clarke asked, seeming mildly concerned.

"Yeah," Lexa answered, stepping closer to her and wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck. "I'm just a little bit tipsy."

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm, and you're really hot," Lexa answered, nodding and letting her gaze fall down to Clarke's cleavage for a moment.

Clarke laughed. "Well thank you." Lexa leaned forward, grabbing Clarke's lips with her own in a needy kiss. Lexa hummed contently into it, and Clarke pulled away a little. "I don't think you need anymore to drink," she teased.

"Can't I kiss you if I want to?" Lexa murmured against the blonde's lips.

"Of course," Clarke answered, breathy and taken aback. Lexa kissed her again, her tongue pushing through Clarke's lips forcefully. She felt more than heard Clarke moan, and suddenly the roles were reversed, and Clarke was in control of the kiss. Lexa stumbled backwards a little, but Clarke was holding her waist firmly as they got lost in each other.

Obnoxious whistling was what broke them out of the moment, and their kiss broke as Clarke glanced over at where Murphy and Harper – as Lexa had learned was one of the girl's names – were looking at them with smirks on their faces. Clarke lifted her middle finger at them. "Fuck off, pervs," she snapped, grabbing Lexa's hand and pulling her back toward the party. Lexa bit on her lower lip, aware that her cheeks were flushed. "If you couldn't tell," Clarke said to Lexa, "Murphy is a fucking asshole. I'm gonna get another drink."

"You're not driving, right?"

"No, Bellamy is," Clarke answered, and Lexa realized that her hand was still wrapped up in the blonde's. It made her feel warm inside, though that was perhaps the alcohol in her system. "Are you driving?"

"Anya is," Lexa answered, glancing over to where Luna and Anya were talking to a few people nearer to the speaker that was still blaring music. What she found was not what she was expecting, because Anya and Luna were both definitely drunk, and Lexa was sure that if Lincoln were next to them, he'd have forced Anya to leave by now. Lexa recalled the reasoning that Anya had for getting drunk the first time she went to a party, and briefly wondered if there was some motive like that this time as well. She would ask her best friend later. "Or... not. I'll figure something out."

"What a trustworthy sober driver you have," Clarke teased, stopping by the beer keg and going to fill up a new cup. The keg dripped a few drops into it, but then gave out. "How the fuck did we empty one of these things? Someone here is going to die tomorrow."

Lexa giggled, and Clarke gave her a funny look as she started getting some beer from the second keg. "Aren't you cold?" Lexa heard herself ask.

"Not after that kiss, babe," Clarke answered, winking at the brunette as she took a sip of her beer. "Actually, now that you mention it, it is starting to get kinda chilly. I have a shirt in Bellamy's car if it gets any colder."

"Clarke!" a voice called, and Lexa turned around to see a drunk Octavia and Raven stumbling over to them. Octavia was the one who'd spoken. "Hey! Are you guys drunk yet?"

"No, O," Clarke answered, raising an eyebrow at them.

"We took some shots," Raven explained. "Harper brought jello shots. They're so good. Did you have any?"

"No," Clarke said, looking amused now. "I think you guys have had enough to drink, though."

"Just because you wanna be boring and not drink doesn't mean that we can't get wasted," Octavia insisted, laughing. "We don't get drunk often enough. Don't worry, we're gonna be safe and we'll even let you say 'I told you so' tomorrow. C'mon, Rae, I think Murphy and Harper are gonna get out more shots!" The two of them stumbled off again, and Lexa laughed.

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow," Clarke agreed. "To be honest, the frat party on campus is probably ten times worse than anything we're doing here."

"Really?" Lexa asked, tilting her head.

"Mmhmm. Polis U frat boys are idiot. Finn was one for his first two years of college," Clarke explained, "and well, I went to a lot of frat parties when I was eighteen and nineteen. Bad times, wouldn't recommend. C'mon, let's go make sure our friends aren't dying."

It could've been hours, or mere minutes, later that they left. Lexa had let herself get talked into taking a jello shot by Luna, and her already tipsy self had been persuaded all too easily. Clarke had been going up to Bellamy's car to get her shirt when it happened, and when she got back, Lexa was pretty sure that she saw the blonde snapping at Murphy, Harper and Echo – who were with Luna and Anya and had the jello shots. But Clarke said nothing of it to Lexa.

She'd also started drinking beer again even though she knew that she shouldn't really have anymore.

Though she didn't necessarily forget anything, the alcohol and the noise and the darkness caused the rest of the night after that to be somewhat of a blur. She remembered that Lincoln and Quint lit a fire, and a bunch of them sat around it and laughed and told bullshit stories and drank. Lexa zoned out for most of it, leaning against the blonde instead and nearly falling asleep. When she sat up to talk to Anya, who had nudged her, she looked at Clarke and realized that in the darkness, with the glow of the fire on her, she was absolutely stunning.

Clarke was definitely the center of her attention for the rest of the night, and as it started to get later, she started to worry that maybe she was being clingy. She got the same sense of dread and worry that she'd had earlier in the week – was she indeed too clingy? What exactly was the relationship between her and Clarke? Did Clarke want her as much as Lexa wanted the blonde?

When those thoughts starts swirling, she excused herself from the circle around the fire and went back over to the beer kegs. Instead of getting another drink, though, she threw her cup into the garbage bag sitting on the ground and sat on the keg, looking out at the lake. Her vision was swirling a little.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped protectively around her. "Hey, wanna go home?"

"No," she mumbled in response to Clarke's question.

"Wanna go to my home then?" She turned and looked at the blonde, smiling and nodding. Clarke smiled in return, standing up straight and offering a hand to the brunette. Lexa took it thankfully. "Bell's gonna take everyone home in shifts, because as it seems, you drunk teenagers don't have a sober driver anymore."

Lexa laughed lightly.

"Bellamy's taking us first shift," the blonde said softly, squeezing Lexa's hand as if she could tell that something was bothering her. She didn't ask, however, so Lexa didn't say anything about it.

Lexa recalled getting into Bellamy's car, in the middle seat next to Clarke, and him driving them through the dark town and stopping in front of Clarke's apartment. She heard Clarke thank him as she pulled Lexa out of the car with her.

As they made their way into her apartment after a walk upstairs, Clarke asked her, "Are you tired?"

"Mmhmm."

"Okay, get into bed then. I'll be there in a minute."

Lexa didn't hesitate, walking into Clarke's room and sliding off of her shoes, dropping her phone onto the floor and then crawling into the comfortable bed. Once under the blankets, her head on Clarke's pillow, she fell right to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Clarke woke up at eleven the next morning, and Lexa was still passed out next to her. She smiled fondly at the younger girl. She hadn't wanted her to get too drunk the night before, and she was certain that Lexa would've been far less out of it had she not taken the jello shot that she did. Frowning, the blonde carefully pulled away from Lexa and got out of bed. Her head was perfectly clear, but she knew that Lexa's wouldn't be. Aside from the fact that she drank a lot, her body was definitely not used to drinking that much.

She padded quietly into her kitchen to get a glass of water and an aspirin. Back in her bedroom, she set the drink and the pill on her nightstand, next to where Lexa was sleeping, and then made her way back around to the other side of the bed. Sliding back under the covers, she wrapped her arms around the brunette and tugged her closer so that she was spooning her. Satisfied, Clarke let her eyes flicker closed again and she did her best to fall back asleep.

She was just beginning to doze off when Lexa started to stir. She let out a pained groan, and Clarke immediately released her hold and let the brunette turn over onto her back. "Oh my god, I feel like shit."

"Can't say that I'm surprised," Clarke admitted, her left hand moving to brush some hair out of Lexa's face. "I got you water and some aspirin." She nodded to the nightstand, and Lexa turned her head to glance at it.

Exhaling in relief, Lexa murmured, "Thanks. I'll have to take a second to work up the energy to sit up and get it."

"Oh come on, Lexa, sit up," Clarke insisted, reaching over the brunette to grab the water and pill. Lexa grudgingly forced herself into a sitting position and took both items from the blonde, gratefully swallowing the pill with a big gulp of water and then slowly sipping up the rest.

"Thank you," she said afterward, setting the glass down again and sighing, falling back into Clarke's pillows. "Can I just stay here forever?"

Clarke smiled, propping herself up on her arm and looking at the brunette curiously. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Yep," Lexa answered, smiling. "I just wish my head would stop hurting."

"You shouldn't have taken that jello shot."

Lexa hummed indifferently. "Oh well."

"Have you ever been that drunk before?"

"Yeah," Lexa answered, and Clarke furrowed her eyebrows in slight concern. "I got drunk with Luna sometime over the summer. I blacked out for about ten minutes and then slept in her car. It was interesting."

Clarke nodded. "Sounds not fun. Um... can I ask you a question?" Lexa nodded, looking at Clarke with confusion written over her face. "Before we came here, when we were still at the lake, you got kinda distant and it seemed like something was bothering you. And last night before I fell asleep, I remembered that you said a lot of things were bothering you this week, but we only talked about your mom. Was there more stuff that you wanted to talk about? Or that you need to talk about?"

Lexa's expression froze for a moment, as if she was debating whether or not to respond, but then she released a long sigh. "Yeah. Something else has been bothering me."

"What is it?" Clarke asked carefully, wondering if she should be worried.

"I've just been... I mean, it's kind of bothering me that I don't know that... ah... I don't really know how we're defining this," Lexa started, her voice very quiet. "I mean, what's going on between us. Are we just dating? Are we exclusive? Are we labeling this as something? It's just... it's just been on my mind lately."

"You know you could've asked me about that at any time, right?" Clarke asked softly, and Lexa sighed.

"That's originally one of the reasons I wanted to see you on Friday night, aside from the fact that I just wanted to see you anyway. But my mom happened and then we were both exhausted so... I just forgot about it until last night again," Lexa admitted, snuggling into Clarke's blanket a little. "I just... am scared that I'd be taking this more seriously than you. And it's not that I don't think you're taking it seriously, it's just that I'm scared that I'd be too clingy and you'd think I was weird or something."

Clarke frowned. "You're crazy, Lexa. You haven't come off as clingy to me at all," she promised. "You don't have anything like that to worry about."

Lexa turned her head fully now, meeting Clarke's gaze head on. "So... we're..."

"Whatever you want us to be, babe," Clarke answered, quiet and sincere. "I felt like we were exclusive from the minute that we kissed, but maybe that was just me."

"Well," Lexa said, "I definitely haven't kissed anyone else, so I guess it wasn't just you."

Clarke smiled softly. "So I guess there's only one question then."

"What's that?" Lexa asked, furrowing her eyebrows a little expectantly.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Clarke asked, her voice quiet. "Officially and exclusively?" Lexa flushed, and Clarke chuckled. "You could've brought this up to me when it started bothering you earlier in the week, and I would've asked you the same thing."

"Yes, I do want to be your girlfriend," Lexa murmured, still blushing as she turned onto her side so that half of her face was hiding in Clarke's pillow. "I guess I was just worried that you might not... want to label it, or something."

"Still worried about that?" Clarke asked playfully, and Lexa shook her head, a smile growing on her face. "Well good." Suddenly, the blonde's phone dinged from the second nightstand, and Clarke turned over to grab it curiously.

"Who is it?" Lexa wondered.

"No one," Clarke answered, her eyebrows lifting in surprise as she read the notification, "someone just bought one of my paintings. I guess I'm gonna have to go buy a box for it so I can ship it out tomorrow."

Lexa sat up a little, grinning. "Looks like you owe me a dinner, then."

"You know," Clarke started, smiling as well, "I can't really say that I'm mad at that."

* * *

It was well past noon when Lexa pushed open her front door, already prepared to make a break for her room. Before she could take two steps into the house, however, her mother stepped in from the kitchen with her arms crossed. "Lexa."

"Mother."

"I thought you were in your room this morning, but I went up and realized you weren't, and I don't remember you being home much yesterday either after you spent the night with Anya. Care to explain? Did you spend the night at Anya's again?" the older woman demanded.

Lexa shook her head. "No. I was at Luna's yesterday, and then she and Anya and I went to this party thing with Lincoln. You remember Lincoln, don't you? It went kind of late, but I was home by midnight. I didn't see you around when I got home. I left early this morning, because Anya and I had plans to do homework this morning."

The lies were rolling off of her tongue so easily that it almost terrified her how good she'd gotten at this. "Alright," her mom said, sounding skeptical. She coughed awkwardly. "I meant to ask... what do you want for your birthday?"

Lexa frowned. A year ago, she and her mom were on far better terms, and just like every year, her mother had splurged a bit to get her present. The year before had been her biggest present – her Mercedes. For some reason, it hadn't crossed her mind that her mom might want to still get her a present this year. "I don't need anything." She felt guilty all of the sudden again, despite what Clarke had reassured her of on Friday night. Her mother was just trying to be a good parent, getting too caught up in certain aspects, and all Lexa did was take from her and lie to her.

"Oh come on, you're a teenager," her mom said, chuckling, "there has to be something you want."

For you to love me for who I am, if I were to tell you who that is.

She didn't say that, and she didn't want to. She didn't want to say anything like that before she was eighteen. She didn't want to chance her relationship with Clarke.

"I don't know, mom, I don't really want anything," Lexa lied again. "I have homework, though, so I should probably go upstairs."

"Wait, didn't you just say you were at Anya's doing homework?"

Lexa nearly cursed out loud as she realized her error. "Oh yeah, but that was the homework for the classes that Anya and I have together. I have some more that I need to finish before tomorrow."

"Maybe you should've done it yesterday instead of partying all day," her mother stated smugly.

Lexa shrugged. "Yeah well, I didn't. See you later." She quickly started up the stairs and made it to her bedroom. She closed and locked the door behind her, and then dropped her phone on the end of her bed and collapsed into the blankets.

Her first thought was to shower, but she'd already done that at Clarke's apartment. Being naked at such a close proximity to Clarke had been slightly unnerving, actually, and Lexa had forced herself to keep from touching herself in Clarke's shower. She'd used Clarke's shampoo as well, and now as she laid in her own bed, she could still smell Clarke's familiar smell.

A week and six days. That was how long it was until her birthday. Just under two weeks. Thirteen days. The thought brought a smile to her face, but even though she knew that it was a short amount of time, it felt too long.

Clarke was her girlfriend, and she was sure that the next time she saw the blonde, she would have trouble keeping her hands off of her. Clarke was like a magnet, and Lexa couldn't stay away. Not that she wanted to.

She thought back to her shower in Clarke's bathroom and moaned involuntarily. Before she realized what she was doing, her shirt and bra had been tugged off of her clean body, leaving her in just the shorts she'd been wearing the previous night as well as her underwear. Her eyes flickering closed, she dragged the pads of her fingertips down from her collarbone, between her breasts, and down to the center of her stomach. Sighing at the feeling, she forced her right hand to continue down into her underwear, and her left hand found her left breast, squeezing it lightly and then teasing her nipple.

As her fingers slid through her folds, Lexa wondered if she should be able to wait the thirteen days. She was almost positive that she and Clarke would not take long after Lexa turned eighteen to have sex. But it felt like far too far away, and Lexa had been aroused by the blonde every time she'd seen her since the very first time. Granted, the first time had been just after she'd made out with Finn...

She pushed that thought out of her head before it could linger, and she pressed her fingers against her clit suddenly, drawing a gasp from herself. As she touched herself, she conjured up the best image she could of what Clarke might look like with her clothes completely stripped away. It wasn't incredibly hard to imagine, since she'd nearly seen all of her chest the day before when she'd been wearing that damn bikini.

Moaning, Lexa finally pushed two fingers into herself as her hips rocked impatiently back and forth and her left continued to touch her breasts. Her eyes squeezed shut tightly, and blonde hair, blue eyes, and bare, pale skin flashed through her mind. She did her best to imagine that Clarke was there on top of her, her hand between Lexa's legs instead of her own. "Fuck," she moaned out, driving herself up and up until she finally reached her orgasm, letting out a throaty moan and relaxing into her blankets. Her body was covered in a light layer of sweat, and her hand and thighs were far from dry. It seemed that another shower was in order.

She gingerly pulled her hand out from between her legs, looking at her wetness and exhaling slowly.

Her phone beeped suddenly from the end of her bed, and Lexa sat up slowly, dropping her hand onto her lap and ignoring the fact that she was making herself more of a mess. She reached for her phone with her left hand and saw a text from Anya.

 **From Anya – U home? Just saw your mom leave, but I know that u didn't drive last night so I'm assuming that your car here doesn't mean you're here necessarily. I'm outside, nevertheless.**

"Fuck," Lexa cursed, jumping up and rushing to her bathroom to take the fastest shower humanly possible. As soon as she was done, and fully clothed in fresh clothing, she texted Anya back.

 **To Anya – Yea, I'm in my room, was about to do laundry. Come on in.**

She took her blanket off of her bed, wondering why she'd been dumb enough to masturbate over her blankets rather than under. If her sheets were dirty, at least she could just pull her blanket up and wash them later.

Her door knob jiggled a moment later, and then there was a knock on the door. "Uh, your door is locked."

"Shit," Lexa muttered, dropping her blanket on the floor and going over to the door. She unlocked it and let Anya in. "Hey, sorry. I locked it to keep my mom out. You said she left?"

"Yeah, I don't know. I saw her driving off when I was pulling up," Anya answered.

"Well good, because I told her that I was with you all morning, so she probably would've thought it was weird that you were coming over right after I came home from your place," Lexa muttered, shaking her head and going to her bed to continue stripping it. She may as well wash it all.

Anya coughed awkwardly. "Ah, why did you lie to her?"

"She thought I was out all night again, and she was all antsy because I told her that I slept over at your place on Friday night as well," Lexa admitted, cringing a little as she said it. "And I didn't want her to go on a rant about me needing to come home at night, so I told her that I did come home and that I left early to go to your place."

"Alright," Anya said slowly, nodding. "So... you were with Clarke, then, really? I kind of assumed that you were on Friday, since Luna said that your mom said you were with me when you weren't. But last night too...?"

"Ah, yeah."

"You were drunk," Anya stated. "Well, we all were. You didn't..."

"Sleep with Clarke while I was drunk?" Lexa asked, frowning. "No, I didn't. Clarke didn't drink as much as I did, and she'd never take advantage of me like that."

"I didn't think she would, I was just checking. Um, she seemed nice, by the way. From what I remember. I kind of... don't remember the end of the night. Who took me home?"

"Bellamy gave lots of people rides home in shifts," Lexa answered. "He took me and Clarke back to her place first. I didn't want to go home drunk... with my luck, my mom would've still been awake waiting for me and she would've been so pissed. Plus, I like Clarke's place."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Her bed is really comfortable," Lexa answered, sitting on her bare mattress and studying Anya for a moment. She wanted to tell her best friend that she and Clarke were official now, with a label and everything, but how did she bring that up in the conversation? "Um... speaking of Clarke..." She trailed off, and Anya raised an expectant eyebrow. "Um, we're like... official now, just so you know. Like... she's my girlfriend."

"Well it's about time, isn't it? Haven't you guys been seeing each other for weeks now?" Anya asked, smiling and making her way over to the bed, sitting next to Lexa. "You know that you don't need to be scared of talking to me, right? Sometimes it hard for me to absorb new information – and get used to this person you've grown into. The real you, or maybe just the more fully fledged you. And by the way, I like this version of you. You're happier. And I saw you last night with Clarke. She makes you happy."

Lexa smiled as well, glancing down at the floor for lack of a better place to look while Anya's eyes were on her. "She does make me happy."

"Well, good," Anya whispered. "So, that's something I wanted to tell you. Luna wanted to throw a birthday party for you on your birthday, but I convinced her to do it the day before, on Friday."

Lexa looked to Anya with confusion written on her face.

"So if you want us all gone by midnight, when you're officially eighteen, I'll pitch that to Luna as well. Luna says that her parents will be gone that night, so we can have the party there. And... you're not really supposed to know about it, so don't say anything. I just wanted to let you know. She's making me talk to Lincoln to get Clarke and her friends' numbers, so they can come. Is that okay with you?" Anya asked carefully.

Lexa felt a smile spread over her face as she nodded. "Yes. And I don't know about the midnight thing. I don't know if Clarke and I would be that... um, abrupt. We can wait until Saturday night, probably. Plus, if Luna's planning the party, there's gonna be alcohol, and I don't want my first time with Clarke to be while we're drunk."

Anya laughed. "Okay, fair enough. I just wanted to check. But remember, it's supposed to be a surprise." Lexa nodded in understanding. "Are you excited? Less than two weeks now. You'll finally be an adult and you'll be able to brag to me for two months about how cool you are for being a whole number older than me."

Lexa grinned, laughing. "Yes, I'm very excited for that of all things." She bit down on her lower lip, stifling her next laugh. "And for ah... yeah, the other things."

"You're horny as fuck, you know?" Anya asked, grinning evilly. "I totally walked all the way upstairs before I texted you, and I heard you in here."

Lexa's entire face flushed red. "What! Anya!"

"What? How was I supposed to know that you'd be doing the dirty with yourself in the exact moment that I came over?" Anya demanded, though she was still grinning. "It's fine, Lexa. We all do that."

"Ugh," Lexa groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I hate you."

"No, you love me," Anya insisted, chuckling. "Come on, wanna go get some lunch?"


	20. Chapter 20

"So, when's Lexa's birthday?" Raven asked Clarke curiously, as both of them were stretched out across Bellamy's couch in the warehouse. It was Wednesday, and the week had already been far too long. Clarke hadn't seen Lexa since Sunday, which was already aggravating enough. She hadn't managed to get a shift for Wednesday night at The Bean, however, so she found herself going to the warehouse, where she found only Raven.

The two of them had turned on Orange Is The New Black and then collapsed onto Bellamy's couch lazily. They hadn't spoken since sitting down, until Raven asked the question. "Next Saturday," Clarke answered, a smile coming to her face without her realizing. "I don't know why it felt so far away before. I think I made her age such a big deal at first that it feels like it's somehow not able to change."

Raven snorted as she laughed. "You're ridiculous, Clarke. Do you guys have plans?"

"Um..." Clarke frowned. "No, not really yet."

"You better get on that," Raven teased, and just as Clarke was about to reply, both of their phones beeped. "Random number," Raven said dismissively as she looked at hers.

"Same," Clarke replied, but she opened the text message to read it anyway.

 **From Unknown – Hello! This is Lexa's friend Luna! Before you ask how I got your numbers – don't worry about it! Next Saturday is Lexa's 18thbirthday, and Anya and I are throwing a party for her the day before, next Friday. It's at my place (my parents will be out of town) and I'll send my address once each of you tell me whether you're coming. I'm providing food, but since a few of you are 21+, it would be rather nice of you if you guys provided alcohol. Anyway, it's a surprise party, so we CAN NOT tell Lexa! You're all invited, but only Clarke's attendance is mandatory. Lemme know if you can come ASAP, please and thank you! Adios!**

Raven had opened her own text message by that point, and she snickered. "I met this Luna girl at the party on Saturday. She's an interesting character."

"Looks like the first half of Lexa's birthday plans have been made then," Clarke commented. "And you're all coming, by the way, because as much as I wanna hang out with Lexa, hanging out with just her and her two best friends sounds like an awkward fest that I don't need."

"Of course we'll come," Raven answered incredulously. "I'm not gonna lie, your girlfriend is seriously growing on all of us. She's really so nice, and she's not like... juvenile. I guess in my mind, anyone under the age of twenty needs to grow the fuck up, but she's not half bad."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Well thanks, I'm glad she's not half bad in your book."

"That isn't to say that she shouldn't grow up at all, of course," Raven teased, "because I'm pretty sure that we've established that you're desperate as fuck to be fucked. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, you haven't been near as boring and bossy since getting with Lexa. And that must mean... that you've been doing a lot of... you know." The brunette wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Clarke scoffed.

"What is with you and thinking that the only way to relax is to masturbate?" she snapped.

"It's the only way to relax your kitty," Raven said sympathetically, "especially when your girlfriend can't put out because she's underage."

"Shut up," Clarke groaned. "You're the worst friend."

"Am not!" Raven rolled her eyes, laughing. "Finn is a much worse friend. Have you two even talked at all recently? You used to be pretty chill around each other, once the whole sex thing passed."

"That was a long time ago," Clarke muttered.

"I know, but that's what I'm saying is that you've always been pretty friendly. You haven't been talking as much since all this Lexa stuff. Aside from fighting, anyway. Usually any fighting that ensued between the two of you had to do with him making some bullshit mistake and you yelling for a few minutes and then helping him fix it," Raven insisted, and Clarke groaned again. "I'm just saying, C. Is he still mad? Do you think he's just butt hurt that you got Lexa and he didn't?"

"Ew, no," Clarke insisted instantly, not even wanting to consider that possibility. "That's gross. Lexa's gay, he never could've ended up with her. Ifhe's still mad, it's because he thinks that I'm making a mistake."

"Well, he's an idiot." Raven crossed her arms defensively. "For what it's worth, the rest of us totally support you and Lexa. Even Jasper, after I got him to stop staring at her on Saturday."

"Wait, what?" Clarke demanded, sitting up a little.

Raven grinned. "I'm just kidding. I mean... he was staring, but Lexa is kinda hot, so I guess you can't really blame him."

"I hate men," Clarke huffed out, relaxing into the couch again and shaking her head. "Maybe I am just completely gay."

"You are what you are," Raven said, shrugging. "Is that really something you've thought about – how gay you are? From what I can tell, you've slept with guys, and you've slept with girls, and right now you're interested in a girl. Does it have to be one way or the other?"

"Well, no," Clarke answered thoughtfully. "I just... I don't know, Finn asked me about it awhile ago. It doesn't matter, of course, but it's just a thought. I haven't looked at a guy and found him significantly attractive in a while."

"Maybe that's because you've been falling for Lexa for over a month now."

Clarke sat up a little again, looking over at Raven with wide eyes. "What did you just say?"

"Oh come on, you're so in love with her," Raven insisted, furrowing her eyebrows a little. "I mean, aren't you? Or at least falling in love with her. Have you seen the way that you look at her?"

"Well, considering that I can't see myself when I'm looking at someone, I'll go with no."

"Right," Raven said with a laugh. "Well, you have to know that you're at least falling for her."

"Yeah." Clarke sunk into the couch.

"You gonna tell her?"

Clarke shook her head.

"Alright, go at your own pace, whatever."

"I'm kind of... scared."

"Of what?" Raven asked, sounding shocked.

Clarke felt her face flush. "I've never... been in like a real, healthy relationship with someone, with like actual real feelings. It's kinda scary."

"Oh come on, you were with that one guy during your first year of college," Raven started. "What was his name? Max? Matt?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Matt. And he was an asshole – he cheated on me two weeks into our relationship, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well... what about that girl you dated at the beginning of this year?"

"That relationship was a disaster," Clarke muttered, putting her hands over her eyes. "It's just... I'd just about swore off relationships since then, and now look at me."

Raven was quiet for a moment. "Are you regretting this thing with Lexa?" Clarke took in a deep breath, pulling her hands off of her face and staring up at the ceiling.

"No, definitely not," Clarke decided. "Like I said, I'm just scared."

"Maybe you should get home, princess," Raven said quietly, sitting up and looking pointedly at the blonde. "Get some sleep, it's been a long week already." Clarke nodded in agreement, sitting up as well and then standing. "And, Clarke... thanks for talking to me about all of this. You don't open up very often, but it's nice... you know, to hear you talking about feelings and stuff. I think that Lexa is really good for you."

Clarke felt a smile pulling at her lips. "I think so, too. See you later, Rae."

* * *

"So no to the bonfire on your birthday idea?"

Lexa rolled her eyes as she sandwiched her phone in between her shoulder and her ear while she drove. "No, Luna, I'm almost positive that I'll have better plans. You know... with Clarke."

"Right, yeah," Luna acknowledged. Lexa felt somewhat bad playing along with this, but she knew that Luna wanted her to not expect the party that was coming in a week. Lexa was glad that Anya had told her, but she would of course play along for Luna's sake. Until now, the furthest extent to which she'd celebrated her birthdays had been with Anya, staying up late, watching movies and eating food. It had always felt like a nice break from their normal lives, but now, that would feel a lot more normal. Lexa felt like she'd lived more in the past few months than she had ever before in the rest of her life. So maybe a party was in order.

"Well, I've gotta go," Lexa said to her friend as she drove up to her destination. "I'll see you... tomorrow maybe."

"I'll text you if Anya agrees to go to the bonfire tomorrow," Luna told her happily. "See you, Lex!"

The call ended, and Lexa dropped her phone into her lap as she parked her car in front of the warehouse. It was a few hours before Clarke would be off from work, so the blonde was most definitely not in the building at the moment, but Lexa was surprised to see that no other cars were around either. In fact, she'd been counting on someone being there, because the large front sliding door was currently closed.

"Shit," she muttered, shutting off her car and climbing out. She grabbed her backpack and then closed the door, starting over to the building. Did they lock the front door? She was sure that it must lock, since warehouses were often built initially for storage anyway. She tentatively reached out to the door once she was in front of it, pushing it to the side and marveling as it opened easily. No lock.

The inside of the warehouse was pitch black, however, and Lexa realized that she only knew how to turn on Clarke's light. Deciding not to bother with any other lights, she turned on the flashlight on her phone and stepped into the front room. She glanced around, shining her light around as well, and noticed that a bean bag had been moved from the front room over to Octavia's room. Smiling to herself, she stepped into the brunette's room and slowly made her way through the rest of the warehouse until she got to Clarke's. Once there, she felt along the wall until she found the switch, and the lights in the room and the hallway flickered on obediently.

Smiling proudly, she turned off her flashlight and set her phone on the table, dropping her bag on one of the chairs. She glanced around the room for a moment, and then made a quick decision. Grabbing her phone again, she made her way back through the dark building and to the front room. She glanced outside, noticing that still no one was there, and then grabbed one of the three bean bags that were left. She carried it back to Clarke's room and put it next to the shelves on the wall.

Lexa grabbed her backpack and then collapsed into the beanbag. She had a paper to work on, so she pulled out her laptop to start. Clarke had already told her that she'd be at the warehouse tonight, but Lexa had decided that there was a better chance of actually getting to hang out with her girlfriend if she was here first, since Clarke was bound to be pretty tired. Plus, if she went home to do her homework, she was chancing getting stuck there with her mom or something.

The building was peaceful, if not a little creepy, without any sounds echoing through it.

It was about an hour later when Lexa noticed the hall light up a little more just as the sound of big light switches being turned on made noise as well. Someone else was in the warehouse, and thought Lexa knew that it must be one of Clarke's friends, she still couldn't help but feel a little crept out.

She assumed that they'd just go to their own room and go about their business, but she had no such luck as Finn suddenly glanced into the room. Of course it would be him, the only one who had to pass Clarke's room to get to his. "Clarke, I thought – oh. You're not Clarke."

"Nope," Lexa answered, looking up from her computer at him. "She's ah, at work."

"Yeah, that's why I was confused that the light was on, but not the others. Do you know where the switch for the others are?" Lexa shook her head. "They're in Octavia's room, pretty easy to see in the corner. The fancy, big building kind. Turns all the lights on in the rooms that have them – except for the back of the building and Bellamy's room."

"Thanks," Lexa said quietly.

"So. You waiting for her?" Lexa nodded. "How's she been? I mean... I've seen her, of course, we just haven't really been talking much."

"She's good," Lexa answered. "Working a lot, on top of school, but she's happy."

Finn nodded. "You make her happy."

Lexa felt a blush rise to her cheeks. "Ah, yeah I guess so."

"No, really, you do," Finn insisted. "She's just been so much more... present lately, with everything. School, work, all of us. I just... I think you've made her a better person. Or, not made her really, just brought it out in her. She kind of gave up on relationships after her last one."

"Oh."

"I'm just trying to say that... I'm sorry for being an ass," Finn finally blurted, sighing. "I kind of thought that you were going to screw her over, yeah... because you didn't tell me that you were under eighteen, and it seemed like you were just... uncaring about everything. I didn't want that for Clarke."

"I had a weird summer," Lexa said, for lack of any other explanation. "I care about Clarke a lot."

"I know you do," Finn admitted. "I just wanted you to know that I know that. Anyway, I have some stuff to do, so... have fun with... whatever you're doing."

Lexa laughed. "Homework."

"Right, have fun with that. I'll... see you around." He continued down the hallway, and Lexa let out a breath. That had been unexpected, but a smile came to her face as she realized what it meant. The last of Clarke's friends finally fully supported them being together, and Lexa couldn't help that it felt fucking amazing to know that.

It was a couple hours later, when Lexa was just finishing up her paper, that anyone else walked into the room. This time, however, it was Clarke, her eyebrows furrowed, probably at the fact that the light was on. Lexa shut her laptop, and their gazes met. "Well hey there," Clarke greeted, smiling and tilting her head a little. "You been here long?"

"Yes," Lexa admitted. "I was doing homework and waiting for you. If I went home, there was a good chance that my mom would've somehow dragged me into dinner with her or something. Anyway, you shouldn't be surprised. My car is outside."

"Right," Clarke said, rolling her eyes as she stepped into the room and slid her door closed. "I guess I didn't see it. If I'd known that you were here already, I would've brought food or something."

"You do owe me a dinner," Lexa reminded the blonde, smiling cheekily and sliding her laptop back into her bag. "I stole one of the bean bags from the front of the warehouse, because I saw one in Octavia's room and I didn't wanna sit in your hard chairs all afternoon."

"I'm sorry my chairs aren't up to par," Clarke said with a smirk, extending a hand to the brunette. "Only their backs are hard, anyway. How about dinner tomorrow?"

"That sounds good," Lexa agreed, taking Clarke's hand and standing up. "How was The Bean?"

"Uneventful," Clarke answered, pulling Lexa closer to her. "I texted you, but you didn't answer."

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. "Oh." She glanced over at her phone, sitting on Clarke's table. "I guess my phone is on silent. I was writing a paper."

"Sounds boring," Clarke said, shaking her head and then closing the distance between them with a kiss. It lasted a few seconds, and then Clarke pulled away again. "Did Finn see you here?"

"Yeah," Lexa answered, "I got here and the place was all closed up. I didn't know where the switches were for the lights so I just came here and got these lights. Finn came in about an hour later and thought you were in here."

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "What did he say?"

"A bunch of sappy stuff," Lexa answered, smirking, "about how I make you happy and how I bring out more good things in you, blah blah, all that stuff that I already knew."

Clarke's face was flushed suddenly, but she played it off as though she were unaffected by the admission. "Oh wow, you already knew all that did you?"

"Mm, indeed. Oh, and then he apologized to me. I've gotta say, it was pretty nice."

"Guess he's not so much of an asshole, huh?" Clarke murmured, tilting her head a little. "Ah well, I knew that eventually he'd get over himself."

"I had my doubts, though I don't really know him very well, so that's probably why," Lexa stated, "but I'm glad that he's okay with you and me now. It feels good to know that your friends don't all hate me anymore."

"They never hated you, weirdo," Clarke tutted, though a smile was slowly tugging at her lips. "Hey, what are you doing on your birthday?"

"You mean on my actual birthday, or during the surprise party that Luna's planning for me?" Lexa laughed as Clarke raised her eyebrows.

"You know about that?"

"Anya told me. She wanted to make sure that... I mean, ah, yeah she just told me," Lexa corrected quickly, heat rising to her face

Clarke smirked. "She wanted to make sure of what?"

"She said she'd tell Luna to end the party at midnight if I wanted," Lexa answered, biting down on the inside of her lip.

"Ah." Clarke grinned, and Lexa let out a laugh, shaking her head.

"And I told her not to," Lexa added teasingly. "But as far as what I'm doing on my actual birthday... as of right now, I have no plans. Why? You gonna change that?"

"That was my intention, yes." Clarke smiled softly.

"What do you wanna do?"

Clarke blushed. "I... don't know yet. You know that I'm awful at planning things. But can't you just say that you'll spend the evening with me no matter what it is that I decide that we'll do?"

"What if you end up taking me out somewhere creepy and murdering me?" Lexa's eyes widened as she feigned fear, and watched as annoyance flashed across Clarke's face for a moment.

"Lexa, I'm not going to murder you," she huffed out impatiently. "If I was going to murder you, I'd have done it by now. I wanna take you out for your birthday. Please?"

Lexa smiled, biting down on her lower lip. "Okay. But my curfew is ten."

"If that was actually your curfew, babe, you'd definitely end up breaking it," Clarke retorted, and Lexa grinned playfully.

"Oh yeah? For you?"

"Fuck yeah for me," Clarke snapped, turning suddenly and pinning Lexa against the table, her hands falling on the paint splattered wood on either side of the brunette. "You joke about it now, but in a week, I don't think there will be any joking."

"You're very confident," Lexa whispered, her breath stolen at the sudden much closer proximity of their bodies.

Clarke smiled softly, pressing the front of her body into Lexa's. "Maybe I have reason to be."

"I don't doubt it," Lexa breathed out. Clarke closed the remaining distance between them with a soft kiss that Lexa practically melted into. She hummed contently against Clarke's lips, surprised as she felt two hands on her hips, dragging down until they were on the back of her thighs. Suddenly, she was lifted and sitting on the table, wrapping her legs around the blonde and moaning as Clarke's tongue delved into her mouth.

They broke apart only for air, and then Lexa let out a breath.

"I definitely don't doubt it."


	21. Chapter 21

On Saturday, Clarke took Lexa out for dinner as promised, and Lexa went home afterward despite her urge to ask if she could stay at Clarke's place. Despite Clarke's reassurances from the weekend prior, she still felt as though she may be being too clingy. On one hand, she knew that she wasn't, but it still felt like a good idea to not get used to staying with Clarke every weekend. At the very least, she wouldn't want her mother to start getting suspicious.

It was somewhat hard for her to sleep, however, when she found herself thinking about cuddling with Clarke and how much nicer it would've felt to be wrapped up in her arms as she drifted off. She was only able to finally sleep after laying in bed for a handful of hours, and woke up late because of it.

She didn't wake up to a pleasant morning, either, because her mom had gotten up bright and early to make her breakfast and to talk.

"Lexa," her mother started, once she had Lexa sitting down and eating, "if I ask you just one question, will you answer it?"

Lexa froze, before giving in and nodding. What else was there to do, anyway? She couldn't rightly say no, and the worse case was that she lie, something that she'd already been doing so often anyway.

"Have you been... seeing someone? Is that why you've been gone so often, especially on weekends? Are you dating? I just want to know," her mom pleaded, frowning and setting down her coffee as she looked seriously to the younger brunette.

Lexa observed her mom for a moment and realized for the first time in a while how similar their appearances were. Aside from her mom's hair being slightly darker than her own, and with slightly lighter skin, they had a similar bone structure in their face. Lexa had often wondered what part of her appearance had come from her father, considering how much came from her mom.

She used to think that she was a lot like her mom, physically and otherwise, but now she preferred to think that she was different. It was always nearly impossible to deny the physical resemblance, however.

She felt weakness suddenly take over her body, and she slumped a bit. "Yeah, I am dating someone."

What harm could the admission do, really? Her mother wasn't the stalker type, so it wasn't like she'd find out who it was. Plus, she was bound to think that it was just some boy at school, in which case if she did try to figure it out, she'd be utterly misdirected. Her mom exhaled in relief, and Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. "Oh thank god."

"What?" Lexa asked, somewhat shocked and definitely confused.

"I've been so worried about you, Lexa. I talked to some of my friends from the university, and they were saying that that their kids usually became withdrawn when they were sneaking around doing something. Especially around your age. And I... well, I was scared that you'd been doing drugs or... or worse, I don't know. If it's just that you were hiding a boy from me... well, that's much less scary... I mean... unless..."

"Mom," Lexa interrupted quickly, "I'm not doing drugs. I'm just dating someone. That's it."

"You could have said something during any of the times that I've been asking you about how you've been," her mom tutted. "At least then I could've known that you were okay."

"Clearly I'm okay," Lexa insisted, shaking her head. "If I wanted to tell you that I was dating someone, I would've. Frankly, I can't see how it would matter to you other than for you to judge me and tell me that my focus should be on school and only school."

The older woman deflated suddenly, and Lexa felt guilt suddenly rising. "Do you really think that's how I would react?"

"It's how you always react, mom," Lexa snapped, ignoring the guilt she was feeling and focusing more on the anger she felt toward her mom. "You can't have a conversation with me without it being about school, or how I'm not focusing enough on school. You even said that school should be almost all of my life right now. But I'm not you, and school isn't going to me priority for the rest of my life like it is for you!"

She had barely noticed her voice rising until she finished speaking, and realized that she'd stood up.

"So excuse me," she continued, her voice quieting significantly, "if I thought that it would be any different once I openly admitted to not being entirely focused on school.

"Lexa..." her mom's voice drifted off, and Lexa just shook her head, turning and running up to her room. She locked her door just as she heard feet on the stairs behind her, and then leaned against the cold wood and exhaled deeply. "Lexa! We need to talk about this!"

"No, we don't!" Lexa shouted back, feeling tears well up into her eyes. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"I'm your mother, Lexa! You need to talk to me!"

"Are you?" Lexa demanded, hearing her words more than feeling herself ask them. "Because it doesn't feel like it!" Her tears were escaping now, running down her warm cheeks freely as her mother went silent.

"Fine," she heard the older woman mutter in defeat, "we can talk about this later." She heard footsteps making their way through the hallway and back down the stairs. Despite everything, the discussions and slight arguments they'd had, this was the first time that Lexa had ever truly fought with her mom, and even that thought made her want to cry even harder. She pushed away from her door, falling into her bed in a heap and letting herself cry it out.

Yeah, she wished she'd stayed at Clarke's place.

* * *

On Monday, Clarke was slightly worried about her girlfriend. She'd texted Lexa the previous day a few times, and received no reply throughout it. She'd chalked it up to homework, or a dead phone or something , but it worried her all the same. But luckily, Monday morning while she was walking into work, she got a reassuring text from the brunette.

 **From Lexa – I'm so sorry I didn't see these yesterday. I fought with my mom after waking up, and I accidentally left my phone downstairs before I locked myself in my room. I didn't realize until I was going to sleep, and I was exhausted so I just crashed.**

Clarke sent Lexa a text in return saying that it was alright, but a frown appeared on her face from knowing that Lexa had been fighting with her mom. She didn't like that Lexa didn't like her mom, even though she thought that it was understandable for her to feel that way. Personally, she thought that Lexa's mother was far better than either of her own parents, but to Lexa, it must feel terrible. After all, didn't lots of people go through a 'I hate my parents' phase before they were in college?

She just had a feeling that eventually Lexa would be over the anger she felt for her mom, and would want to rekindle the relationship. Clarke didn't know how to tell that to Lexa without sounding like she was trying to patronize her, so she kept it to herself. She just wished that it could be at least a little easier for her girlfriend.

On Tuesday, Lexa seemed completely back to her normal self, and she and Clarke texted actively throughout the day despite their classes. Clarke kept insisting that Lexa should pay attention, and Lexa kept insisting right back that she was fine. The blonde really hoped that that was true, because if she was ever the reason that Lexa didn't do amazing at something, she would definitely kick herself for it, and probably pretty hard.

Wednesday was uneventful, despite the stress of classes topped off with work. Clarke managed to get out for lunch, which she had with Bellamy, and he brought up Lexa's party that Clarke had actually been thinking quite a bit about.

"So, we're all going?" he asked, and she nodded. "Do you think it'll be weird at all? What if Lexa wouldn't want us there?"

Clarke shook her head. "I don't think she'd care. I mean, she likes that you guys like her. Frankly, I think she deserves a fun party. She's turning eighteen, anyway."

"I guess we all already know that she likes parties," Bellamy reasoned, shrugging. "Who all got invited?"

"Ah, you and Octavia, Raven, Jasper and Monty... me, obviously. Lincoln, since he's Anya's brother, and that girl Echo from Murphy's party. It's not a huge thing. I think Luna wanted to play it kind of safe with the guest list," Clarke answered. "I'm just glad that she didn't invite Murphy or something."

Bellamy raised an eyebrow. "So, Finn wasn't invited?" Clarke had barely even realized that Finn hadn't been one of the people that Luna invited, but even as she raised her own eyebrows, she was hardly surprised.

"Well, the invite went out in the middle of last week, and that was before Finn apologized to Lexa. I'm pretty sure that both Luna and Anya know all of the drama behind that, so I don't really blame them for not inviting him," Clarke offered as explanation. "I don't think it would necessarily matter either way, but if he wasn't invited, he wasn't invited. We can't do anything about it. It's Lexa's party."

"Lexa didn't write the guest list," Bellamy reminded her, but Clarke didn't really have time to say much else after that, because he had to go off to his creative writing class, and Clarke had her three dimensional arts class.

Thursday went much like Tuesday, a day full of texting Lexa during class and then ending the day with work. When she finally hit her pillow that night, all she could think of was that there were two days until Lexa's birthday, and she needed to think up something to do for her date with Lexa on Saturday.

* * *

Waking up on Friday morning was a relief, because Lexa knew that not only was it her last day of school for the week, but her surprise party was also that night. She'd been doing her best to talk about her plans for the week without letting on to Luna that she knew, and every time Friday evening was brought up, she and Anya would share a knowing look as Luna lied about what she would be doing.

It was nice, though, to know that Luna was going through so much effort to plan a party for her. In fact, it almost made Lexa wish that she didn't know that it was coming.

Halfway through the school day, Luna bombarded Lexa in the hallway.

"Hey, Lexa! My plans to go out to the movies tonight canceled," she announced dejectedly. "Anya said maybe the three of us could do a movie tonight instead. You up for it? My parents are out anyway, so we can make popcorn and have candy and maybe drink some beer and watch movies?"

Lexa smiled at her friend. "Yeah, sure. What time should I come over?"

"Seven," Luna answered, grinning. "Great! I figured it's better that we hang out tonight anyway... don't you have plans with Clarke for your birthday tomorrow?"

Flushing a little, Lexa nodded. "Yeah, she's taking me out... I think. I'm not exactly sure."

"Taking you out to her bed?" Luna asked, smirking and looping her arm through Lexa's. "You must be pretty excited."

Lexa bit down on her lower lip. "Ah, I mean, yeah. I haven't really... thought about it too much."

"Sure you have! You must be? I mean, how could you not? Wouldn't you have already been on your knees for that girl if it weren't for your age?"

"Luna!" Lexa exclaimed, appalled. "Seriously?"

"What's the problem, Lex?"

"I'm just... kinda terrified. Clarke's done this before. I've never... had sex with a girl before. I've only even had sex with one person, and it went terribly," Lexa muttered, shaking her head. "I'm scared that I'll do something stupid."

"Lexa, you're probably lucky that your first time with a girl is with someone who's done it before. I mean, imagine if both of you were clueless during it. I mean, you might feel calmer about it, but you wouldn't feel as satisfied, I bet," Luna reasoned. "Plus, it's your birthday tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised if you became a temporary pillow princess all night."

"A what?" Lexa asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

Luna shook her head. "Never mind. Don't stress about it, Lexa. You've got another day to calm yourself down about it, and honestly, if you're really that freaked out, talk to Clarke. I'm sure that she'll understand. No one said that you have to have sex with her tomorrow."

Lexa frowned. "Well, yeah I guess you're right. But I want to..."

"Then don't stress about it. It's going to go just fine. Clarke doesn't seem like the type to be impatient anyway," Luna said. "I mean, at least not when it comes to you. She'd probably wait ages for you."

"Why do you think that?" Lexa asked, her eyebrows shooting up.

Luna smirked. "Have you seen her face around you? She's whipped as fuck. I mean, you're pretty whipped, too, but yeah. Quit worrying about it. I'll see you tonight."

Half an hour before Lexa was supposed to be at Luna's house, she'd just changed into a nice outfit. She wondered why Luna had gone with a movie night as her fake hangout plan, since that would imply that Lexa should wear lazy clothes. There was no way she was going to show up at her birthday party in anything less than what she would wear out, especially if Clarke was going to be there.

As she sat on the edge of her bed, ready to twiddle her thumbs until she should leave, her phone vibrated with a new text message.

 **From Clarke – Hope you're ready to get plastered. Jasper and Octavia put themselves in charge of supplying drinks for this party.**

Lexa couldn't help but smile.

 **To Clarke – Who's all there?**

 **From Clarke – Everyone who Luna invited came, but I'm not telling you that. Shouldn't you be at least a little surprised?**

 **To Clarke – Hardly. I already know that you, Octavia and Jasper are there. If Octavia is there, Raven probably is too, same with Bellamy. I know that Anya and Luna are there, and Anya would've invited Lincoln. Luna would've invited Echo. Oh, and if Jasper's there, Monty would be too. The only person in question is Finn, really.**

 **From Clarke – Fuck, you're good. Finn's not here. Invite went out before he apologized, and I wasn't about to say anything to your friend about it. Here's the question – when are you gonna get here? :(**

 **To Clarke – Luna told me seven.**

 **From Clarke – Can't you show up early? Octavia and Raven are fighting over which one of them will be able to yell happy birthday the loudest. Jasper and Monty are starting bets. We're just waiting on Anya and you.**

 **To Clarke – Well I definitely can't show up if Anya isn't there, duh. I will be there at seven. You can wait ;)**

 **From Clarke – A whole half hour? Maybe not. :(**

 **To Clarke – Twenty-five minutes babe.**

 **From Clarke – Oh my bad, the five minutes makes all the difference. Since when do you call me babe, though? Not that I'm complaining. X**

 **To Clarke – Since I decided that I would. And you better not be complaining, because then I might not show up at all.**

 **From Clarke – Your threats are so obviously empty. Like you wouldn't show up for free booze and me :^)**

 **To Clarke – So modest I see.**

 **From Clarke – Yes :D**

 **From Clarke – OKAY Anya's here! You can come early now!**

 **To Clarke – So needy xx**

Lexa was hardly aware of the grin spread across her face as she slid her phone into her pocket and stood up. She slid on her shoes and grabbed her keys, before starting downstairs. Her mom was in the kitchen, she knew, but she heard no call of curiosity from her. In fact, her mom hadn't spoken to her all week, and Lexa was starting to feel really guilty about it.

She'd talk to her later, though, once the excitement of her birthday had passed.

Taking a breath, she left her house and went out to her car. Ten minutes later, she was pulling up to Luna's house. She saw four cars parked sporadically along the street, not collectively in front of one house. Lexa thought that Luna was clever to make sure that everyone did that, but she recognized three of the cars easily. She saw Clarke's and Bellamy's and Lincoln's.

As she parked her car in front of Luna's house, she forced herself to keep a straight face. She knew that she'd appear surprised no matter what, because she was pretty easily startled when it came to loud noises anyway, so she wasn't too worried about pretending.

She walked up to the front door, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. She'd only been to Luna's house a couple of times, so she wasn't sure that she was on a walk in uninvited basis yet. Plus, she was a little early, so it was fair enough that she gave Luna a moment to freak out about the fact that she wasn't supposed to be there for ten more minutes.

She waited at the door for nearly a full minute as well, until it finally opened to reveal her best friend. "You better be ready to act surprised," Anya muttered, narrowing her eyes pointedly. Lexa bit on the inside of her lower lip.

"Of course," she replied, and Anya pulled the door open all the way, stepping backwards. Just as Lexa stepped in, people jumped out from the study and the dining room, which were on either side of the entrance hall, and yelled all at once.

"Happy birthday Lexa!"

Lexa knew that she jumped a little, but mostly she just grinned.

The party was actually perfect. Lexa had never imagined what it would be like to have a whole party dedicated to her, because parties hadn't really been something she'd liked a lot until recently anyway. Clarke greeted her rather nicely with a kiss, and Lexa mumbled something about her managing to wait after all.

Clarke had also not understated how much alcohol their was, because it seemed like Octavia and Jasper had provided a pretty huge variety of options. At first, Lexa was apprehensive about drinking too much, because she didn't want to get drunk again while Clarke was hardly drinking.

Clarke seemed to feel bad when Lexa said it that way, so the blonde suggested that they both just not worry about it. Lexa agreed, mostly because everyone else seemed to want to get her hammered.

There was pizza – a lot of pizza – which kicked off the party. Once their bellies were fall full, the drinking started in full swing. Lexa hadn't had enough different kinds of alcohol to know what she was drinking half of the time, she just knew that it all tasted like shit and made her feel incredibly buzzed, and then tipsy, and quickly coming onto drunk.

It was easy to do, too, when Echo suggested that they play drinking games. Anya and Lexa had both been hesitant to agree at first, but eventually did. Lexa had never played any drinking games before, since her party experience was pretty much limited to standing around on a lakeside, drinking and listening to crappy music.

First up was Never Have I Ever, which Lexa definitely did know how to play. It became rather frustrating, however, when it seemed that she and Anya were the two who had done the least. Clarke insisted that it wasn't a bad thing, and Lexa knew that, but it still felt somewhat disappointing.

Bellamy tossed out the, "Never have I ever had sex with a guy," however, and Lexa had to drink to that, cringing as she did.

"Ooh, Lexa you've slept with a guy before?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you surprised?" she asked, leaning against Clarke a little, already feeling drunk.

Jasper nudged Raven. "She did almost sleep with Finn, remember?" As Raven nodded in understanding, Clarke feigned a gag.

"Could we please not talk about that? Thanks."

"Aw, you jealous, C?" Octavia teased, grinning widely. Before Clarke could say anything, Lexa grabbed her face gently and brought their lips together, and their kiss quickly heated up despite the people around them. They only broke apart when Anya came and clapped loudly next to their faces, at which point they separated each with a smirk on their face.

Clarke looked pointedly at Octavia. "I don't think I have anything to be jealous over, O."

After Never Have I Ever, Echo suggested Truth Or Dare, which Lexa immediately vetoed. The last thing she needed was to be dared to do some crazy shit. She could already imagine the things that Clarke's friends might dare each other to do, and she didn't want that kind of experience.

That's when Monty suggested Kings, which Luna, Lexa and Anya had never heard of. After a run down of the rules, they agreed, and by the end of the game, Lexa was definitely drunk. Clarke, however, seemed pretty put together, and Lexa wondered if she'd stopped drinking alcohol. When she asked the blonde about it, while everyone was scrambling into the kitchen for a second round of pizza, Clarke just smirked and shook her head. "Sorry, babe, I don't do the black out drunk thing."

"But I don't want you to have to take care of me again just because I'm drunk," Lexa whined, frowning.

"This is your birthday celebration, Lexa," Clarke said, nudging her, "and you should have fun. So if you wanna drink, you should drink. I'm not going to let you kill yourself. I already watered down four of your drinks."

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah, you weirdo," Clarke answered, smiling softly. "Enjoy your party. You're almost an adult."

"Mm," Lexa glanced between Clarke's eyes and then down at her lips, leaning forward and grabbing them in a kiss. Clarke's hands fell securely on her waist, holding her up as she leaning into the blonde. The kiss ended after a few seconds, though, and Lexa pouted at her girlfriend.

"You really are a horny drunk," Clarke murmured teasingly. "Come on, we have plenty of time for making out later. Let's go get some more food in your belly."


	22. Chapter 22

"Fucking Jesus Christ," someone muttered from the other side of the room, and Lexa rolled over a little, groaning. Whatever surface she'd been laying on disappeared suddenly, though, and she found herself in a heap on what felt like soft carpet.

"Shit," she muttered, her hands falling over her eyes.

"Lexa?" The murmur came from wherever Lexa had just fallen from, and she forced her eyes open and her hands off of them, facing the bright lights that suddenly intensified the pain already shooting through her head. As her eyesight vaguely adjusted, she realized that she was looking up at Luna's bedroom ceiling, and that she'd just fallen from the bed.

"Shit," she bit out again. "I just fell."

"No shit," the voice from across the room said, closer now. Lexa took just a moment to realize that it was Luna. "I let you sleep on my bed, and you just fall right off."

"My bad," Lexa muttered, a laugh shaking out of her only to be replaced by a groan. "Ow."

There was movement on the bed suddenly, and Clarke's face appeared above her. "Hungover much?" Clarke asked her, raising an eyebrow as her lips turned up into a smile. "Pretty fantastic birthday morning, huh?"

Lexa answered in a groan, squeezing her eyes shut as she heard more shuffling from the bed. Suddenly, Clarke was leaning next to her, helping her up.

"Come on, Lexa," she coaxed, and Lexa stood up, sitting on the bed in relief once she was off the floor. "I'll get you Advil or something." She looked over to Luna, who was propped up against the wall on the other side of the room. "You have painkillers, right? Because if not, you're about to have a bunch of monsters on your hands."

"Yeah, aspirin in the cabinet by the fridge," Luna answered, waving her hands dismissively. Clarke rolled her eyes, turning and exiting the bedroom.

"What time is it?" Lexa asked, looking to her friend and relaxing into the mattress below her.

"Early, actually," Luna admitted, nodding to an electric clock that was sitting on her dresser, which displayed the time as nine in the morning. "Pretty surprising, considering that we were up until who knows when. Actually, I guess it's not surprising. I heard heaving about an hour ago, and haven't been able to stay completely asleep since then. I think it was Echo, because I heard her stupid loud car running and leaving about half an hour ago."

"Exciting."

"By the way, my present to you was this party, so don't say anything about me not getting you anything."

Lexa rolled her eyes, though she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face. "I wasn't going to say anything. I don't need anyone to get me anything."

"Anya got you something, but she said she'd give it to you on Sunday or Monday. Doesn't wanna interrupt everyone else's gift giving or some shit like that," Luna admitted. "Oops, maybe I wasn't supposed to say anything about that. Blaming the hangover."

"Fair enough," Lexa said with a pained laugh, but then Clarke was coming back into the room with three water bottles and a bottle of pills. She tossed one of the waters to Luna, who barely managed to catch it, and then brought the second to Lexa. The brunette took it gratefully, accepted the aspirin that was handed to her as well. After she swallowed it down, and Clarke was handing a pill to Luna, Lexa let out a sigh. "I'm never drinking again."

"You say that now," Clarke teased, giving her a pointed look. "I swore off drinking so many times between the ages of eighteen and twenty. It's a miracle that I got myself to drinking as little as I do now."

"It's too much fun in the moment," Luna huffed out in annoyance.

"Okay, fine. I'm never getting that wasted ever again," Lexa corrected, shaking her head for a split second before her headache forced her to stop.

Clarke sat on the bed next to the brunette, nudging her softly. "By the end of the night, you were basically just drinking water. Could've been worse."

"Thank you," Lexa murmured, leaning against the blonde, "for not letting me, as you said, kill myself."

"No problem, babe," Clarke returned. "It is your birthday, after all. Can't have you going and dying on me."

Luna snickered. "At least not before you get to –"

"Luna!" Lexa exclaimed, sitting upright despite herself, to cut her friend off. "Shut the fuck up."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I'm going to make sure that everyone else didn't die. And Bellamy was up when I went down there, so he'll probably try to make some food or something. You should come down and eat something."

"Mkay," Lexa murmured, and Clarke placed a soft kiss on her cheek before leaving the room again.

"Man, she really likes you."

Lexa smiled. "I sure hope so."

"I mean, she really likes you, Lexa. Don't you ever look at her eyes?"

"Yes, Luna, as a matter of fact, I do."

Luna shook her head. "Clearly not close enough to realize that she sees the world when she looks at you. I'm sure she'll tell you at some point, once she realizes it."

"Realizes what?"

"That she loves you, you idiot."

* * *

 **From Lexa – So what time are you gonna pick me up?**

 **To Lexa – Seven, like I told you this morning ;)**

 **From Lexa – No earlier? :(**

 **To Lexa – No, I'm sorry :( I really have to finish this homework.**

 **From Lexa – Okay, fine. But you owe me ;-;**

 **To Lexa – Babe, it's your birthday. I'm not gonna leave you hanging. I just really have to finish this. X**

 **From Lexa – I know. I just miss you. Have fun with doing homework :(**

"I thought you were urgently trying to finish this before your date with Lexa," a voice said from Clarke's threshold, causing the blonde to look up from her phone to see Bellamy.

"I am," Clarke insisted, "but Lexa texted. She thinks I'm doing homework."

Bellamy chuckled. "Will it even be dry when she gets to see it?"

"Bell," Clarke started, scoffing, "you do realize that this is charcoal, right? It's not paint."

"Right." He nodded, stepping into the room as Clarke made her way back to her third easel, which had a pad of paper on it. "Well, it looks awesome. She'll love it."

"I need to stop procrastinating," Clarke muttered, shaking her head as she picked up the piece of charcoal she'd been drawing with all day, after her first one basically ran out the previous day after starting the piece. "If I'd started this on Monday, I wouldn't have had to take the whole day off yesterday, and I could be hanging out with Lexa all day on her birthday instead of just tonight."

Bellamy let out a sigh. "She'll understand."

"I know."

"Are you okay? You seem kind of... on edge," Bellamy said slowly, raising his eyebrow. "Almost like Pre-Lexa Clarke."

Clarke turned her head to glare at him. "Pre-Lexa Clarke?"

"Yeah, that's what we're all calling the irritable version of you, the one from before you got with Lexa," Bellamy explained. "It was Raven's doing, if you want to kick her ass for it."

"I'm not going to kick her ass." She looked back at her easel, moving the charcoal again swiftly.

"You going to kick mine? You seem like you're going to kick someone's."

"I'm not," Clarke snapped, her hand freezing. She let out a long breath, and then shook her head. "I'm just... stressed out."

"About... tonight?"

"No, Bellamy," Clarke snapped sarcastically, "about the planets fucking colliding. Yes about tonight!" Bellamy snorted, and Clarke just sighed, abandoning her charcoal and turning to face her friend.

"What are you so stressed out about?"

"I don't even know. I just... am. I really like Lexa, Bellamy. Do you know how weird that is for me? It's just... I've waited for her all this time to turn eighteen, which is already weird enough, and now it doesn't feel real that she's a legal adult now," Clarke muttered, her head shaking. "I'm just... scared, I guess, of all of the possible implications. I know it's stupid, I should've been scared when she was under eighteen... I don't know, Bell, I'm just scared."

"Tell you what, Clarke," Bellamy said quietly, a small smile on his face, "finish the piece, get ready for your date. Take Lexa out to dinner, then when you show her this drawing and she flips out about how amazing it is, talk to her. I'm not the person that you need to talk to about how scared you are. Neither is Raven, or Octavia... you have to talk to Lexa, because she's the one you're scared of."

Clarke's eyebrows knit together as she shook her head. "I'm not scared of Lexa."

"Yes, you are. Because you're used to people being scared of you, and suddenly, she's the only person who can ruin you," Bellamy stated. "Talk to her."

Before Clarke could even think to speak again, he was gone.

Biting down on her lower lip, she turned around again to face the charcoal drawing in front of her. It was almost finished. Her hand closed around the charcoal again, and she brought it up to the paper. She could do this.

* * *

 **To Clarke – Sorry if I'm interrupting homework, but what should I wear?**

 **From Clarke – Homework is finished, I'm at my place getting ready :P You can wear whatever.**

 **To Clarke – "Whatever"? Really? No, tell me where we're going, or tell me what to wear.**

 **From Clarke – Okay, fine. A dress, or same level equivalent. See you in an hour. X**

Lexa smiled at her phone. She didn't usually wear dresses, and for a moment she thought that she'd just go for something a bit different, but she found herself drifting over to her closet and laying her eyes on the dresses she did have anyway. As she looked through them, she realized that she really had no idea which to wear, and frantically grabbed for her phone again. She dialed her best friend without hesitation, relieved when she picked up immediately.

"Hey, we already hung out like all day, don't you have a date with Clarke soon?"

"Anya!" Lexa exclaimed. "Which of my dresses do I look best in?"

"How would I know? You haven't worn any dresses since like... I don't know, that school awards ceremony last year, and I'm pretty sure that a date dress is different than a professional, awards ceremony dress," Anya said.

"You're really not helping."

"Alright, well eliminate whatever you wore to the awards ceremony. I remember it, it wasn't particularly sexy," Anya insisted, and Lexa rolled her eyes, pulling off the remaining four dresses off of their hangers and bringing them out to her room. She laid them across her bed. "Okay, what's left?"

"There's the red one with that weird puffy shoulder thing... yeah, no, my mom bought this for me like a year ago," Lexa muttered offhandedly, tossing that dress aside and looking down at the final three. "Okay, three left. My two black ones, and a green one."

"Okay, don't go for the green. That's more of a spring dress, because otherwise it clashes with your eyes," Anya stated.

"Wait, what do you mean? I can't even remember the last time I wore it."

"My birthday dinner last year. It wasn't the greatest winter dress, it washed out both your skin tone and your eyes. Your eyes already get kind of bluer during winter anyway," Anya explained. "You know what, never mind, it doesn't matter. Just don't wear the green one. We're down to the two black ones? I don't remember them."

Lexa looked thoughtfully at them both. "Okay, let me send you pictures." She pulled her phone away from her ear and switched over to her text app, snapping a photo of each dress and sending them off Anya. When she brought her phone back up to her ear, she could tell that she'd been put on speaker phone while Anya checked her messages.

"Alright, so one of these you must've bought this past summer with Luna or something," Anya said, chuckling.

Lexa glanced down at the dress that was strapless and rather short. "Ah, yeah."

"I say go for the other one. It's kinda classy, but it seems like it would look pretty hot. No idea when you bought it, though," Anya commented. "Try it on, then Face Time me so I can see."

Lexa set her phone down and then slid off the clothes she was already wearing. Without regard to her underwear, she carefully stepped into the dress and then struggled for a moment to zip it up all the way. She then grabbed her phone and switched the call over to a video call. She moved over to her full length mirror and turned the camera toward it. "How's it look?"

It had a single sleeve on her right side, her left shoulder left bare. It clung surprisingly well, and fell down to her knees. It wasn't too loose or too tight, so it left her feeling both attractive and comfortable.

"Is it at least half decent?"

"Are you kidding, Lexa?" Anya demanded. "You look fucking hot. Clarke will probably die when she sees you. Just make sure that you do your eyeliner so that your eyes still stand out."

"What's with you and my eyes?" Lexa asked, rolling her eyes and turning the camera back to her face as she began to slide her dress off.

"Your eyes are like the focal point of your entire being, Lexa. Um, are you taking it off?" Anya asked, raising an eyebrow on the other side of the call.

"Yes," Lexa answered, "because I'm wearing a white bra and blue underwear."

"So?"

"So, I'd like to try to look nice under my clothes. I would like my underwear to match at least."

Anya snickered a little. "Fair enough, but I won't be helping with that part. You need anything else?"

"Nope, thanks Anya. I'll text you tomorrow," she said, grinning widely as Anya shook her head in amusement.

"Alright, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Hah, I plan to," Lexa stated firmly, smirking when she hit the hang up button. She dropped her phone on her bed and pulled off her underwear, going back to her closet to grab the sexiest underwear set she owned. It was just black, but she figured that black was safe anyway. She pulled the underwear on, and then clipped on the bra, glad that she had invested in a strapless bra at some point. She then pulled the dress on again, happy to see that the top part of it was tight enough to hold up the bra.

Pleased, she shuffled over to her bathroom and looked at her face in the mirror.

Over the next twenty minutes, she slowly made herself up. She took her hair down from the bun it had been tied in after the shower she'd taken after getting back to her place from Luna's earlier that afternoon. It fell around her face in still slightly damp waves, and a few particular uses of her curling iron finished it off just fine. All that was left was makeup, and she took Anya's advice and did her best to make her eyes pop. She wasn't usually the biggest fan of using makeup, but she did like the way that it made her look. She felt relatively successful when she was finished, and she sent a selfie of herself to both Anya and Luna for approval. Once she'd received it from both of them, she let herself finally relax.

She sat up in her room for the remaining minutes until Clarke finally rang her doorbell. Lexa's mom was out for the evening, and the brunette had been sure to let Clarke know that so that she didn't just have to text that she was there.

Lexa was already seated downstairs by that point, in her living room, and she hopped up as soon as she heard the bell. She had a clutch purse with her, even though she was pretty sure that she wouldn't need her wallet or her keys, so she made sure she had it and then headed for the door.

The first thing she noticed when she opened it was the dress that Clarke was wearing. It was light blue, and hugged her curves absolutely beautifully. It was short, but not tight to her thighs, and as Lexa forced herself to look up, she realized that Clarke's cleavage staring at her. Her eyes widened, and her gaze jumped up to meet Clarke's eyes. Somehow, the blue dress intensified her gaze, which was darker than the dress itself. "Hey," Clarke greeted, biting on her lower lip and batting her eyelashes a little. "You look really beautiful."

"Thank you," Lexa said, a blush rising to her cheeks instantly. "So do you."

Clarke laughed, extending a hand to the brunette, which Lexa took eagerly. "I don't think I properly wished you a happy birthday this morning, so happy birthday."

Lexa smiled, stepping out of her house and closing the door behind her. She opened her purse quickly to grab her keys and lock the door, and then she looked back at the blonde. "Thanks. I don't feel any older."

"Since when do birthdays actually make anyone feel older? Honestly, the only thing that ever makes you feel older is your appearance. And you definitely don't look any older than you did yesterday," Clarke teased, leading Lexa down to her car.

"So I still look seventeen?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Babe, you haven't looked seventeen at any point since I met you. And it's not like it really matters. You aren't seventeen, and there's really nothing wrong with looking younger than you are."

"I guess you're right."

Clarke opened the passenger door for Lexa when they reached the car, and she smirked. "Of course I'm right."

"Alright, Miss 'Chivalry Is Dead'. What's with the sudden courtesy?" Lexa asked, biting back a smile as she slid into the passenger seat. Clarke closed the door, making her way around and into the driver's seat.

"It's your birthday," Clarke stated, as if she needed reminding, "so if that means I have to hold a few doors, I think I'll survive."

Lexa blushed again. "Alright, well I won't argue with you." Clarke pulled the car out of Lexa's driveway, and then started off toward wherever their destination was.

"So, please tell me that you didn't just spend all day sitting around?"

"I didn't," Lexa promised, chuckling. "Anya came to my place after we all left Luna's. We hung out like we used to do on my birthday. I never used to do the party thing. Not that it wasn't fun, because it was, but I never really had a lot of people to organize a party for."

Clarke shrugged. "I've never done much for my birthday, at least not since I was little. Usually I just force my friends to treat me like I'm a goddess, and then we go out to eat or something." Lexa laughed at that, and Clarke cracked a smile as well. "It's why a few of them started calling me princess... though, that's started to die down, which I'm eternally grateful for."

"Princess?" Lexa asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"It was Finn's doing I think," Clarke explained, shaking her head. "He and Raven are really the only ones who ever say it anymore. And not often. Guess I've become a much less demanding person or something. You have any nicknames now or as a kid?"

"No," Lexa stated flatly. "I don't really like nicknames. I mean, Luna and Anya call me 'Lex' sometimes. See, my mom's name is Alexandria, and since she apparently lacks any creativity, my name is just a shortened version of hers. I could've just as easily been an Alex."

Clarke flashed a wide smile at the brunette. "Like Alex Vause?"

"Sure, like Alex Vause," Lexa answered, smirking and rolling her eyes. "Anyway, my name is already a shortened version of another name, so I don't see the point of nicknames. It's literally four letters."

"Okay, but what about things besides that? I mean, princess isn't short for my name or anything."

"Nope, nothing," Lexa answered, shaking her head.

Clarke smiled, cocking an eyebrow. "Well, hang around my friends enough and they'll pick something or another to call you."

"Wow, I'm so excited," Lexa deadpanned, causing Clarke to laugh brightly. "Where are we going?"

"Can't tell you until we're there," Clarke insisted, flashing her girlfriend a mischievous look. "It's need to know information."

Lexa's eyebrows shot up. "And I don't need to know?"

"I think I recall that you promised you'd let me take you out on your birthday," Clarke stated, "so does it really matter?"

Lexa glanced out the window, and immediately realized where they were going. Just beyond the middle of town, where most of the shops and restaurants were, was the most expensive area of Polis. That's where the few office buildings were, as well as a few higher class stores and restaurants were as well. "Clarke," Lexa whined upon making her realization, "are you taking me somewhere really fancy?"

"Lexa," Clarke whined back playfully, "I asked you to wear a dress, so are you really that surprised?"

"But it'll be expensive."

"So what? You're not paying, so don't worry about it."

"But you're paying."

Clarke gave her a wink. "That's the point." When Lexa only frowned, Clarke sighed. "Lexa, it's your birthday. Consider this part one to your birthday present."

"Fine," Lexa muttered. "But what do you mean part one?"

"There are three parts to this present, beautiful," Clarke told her softly, just as they were pulling into the fancy area of town. "We have reservations anyway, so we can't cancel."

They ended up walking into one of the nicest Italian places in town, and Lexa really couldn't be bothered to complain about the fact that Clarke had taken her somewhere so fancy. She mostly just really appreciated it, so she thanked Clarke profusely, until the blonde told her that it was really not worth ten thank yous.

Lexa ordered one of the cheaper items on the menu, trying to keep Clarke's expenses to a minimum, and Clarke didn't complain. The dinner was delicious, and Lexa obviously had no complaints about the company. It was nearing nine by the time they'd finished, because Clarke insisted that they get dessert since there had been no cake or anything at the party from the previous night.

When they left, they got right back into Clarke's car, and Lexa didn't have to question where they were going. "So, part two of your present is at my apartment," Clarke said, smiling shyly at the brunette, "and when I explain it to you, you can't get mad at me."

Lexa raised an eyebrow questioningly at the blonde, who just grinned even wider.

"So, when I told you I was doing homework earlier... I was actually finishing it. Your present. I took off work yesterday and started it early, since I couldn't work on it all night because of your party. But I didn't manage to finish it before the party, so I had to finish it today," Clarke explained.

"What is it?" Lexa asked, her eyes widening in anticipation.

"You'll see."

A comfortable silence settled between them as they drove to and then parked next to Clarke's apartment building. Lexa tried not to be too eager as they got out of the car and started up to Clarke's place, but she was really excited to see her present. Just the fact that Clarke would paint or draw anything for her was mind boggling enough, but Lexa was sure she might die when she saw it.

She didn't, in fact, die, but her jaw dropped the instant she saw the framed drawing sitting on Clarke's table. It was her.

But at the same time, it wasn't her. The woman on the paper was definitely far more beautiful than she was, definitely older, not a clumsy, awkward teenage girl. "Oh my god," she breathed out. "It's... wow, it's fucking amazing."

"You like it?" Clarke asked brightly, and Lexa turned and grabbed Clarke in a tight hug, surprising the blonde a little.

"Are you kidding?" she demanded. "I love it, it's amazing. Thank you."

"I apologize for the frame. It was a little last minute. Could've been nicer. You can change it later, if you want," Clarke murmured, holding Lexa close.

"Seriously, Clarke, it's perfect. Don't apologize for any of it, you weirdo," Lexa whispered, placing a soft kiss on Clarke's neck and then pulling away. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," Clarke returned, her face glowing. "I didn't really know... what to get you, but I figured you'd like it. I mean, you really like to flatter me about how good my art is anyway."

"It is good," Lexa insisted, shaking her head as Clarke chuckled. "So, what's part three of my present then?"

Clarke bit down on her lower lip, and Lexa didn't miss her eyes darkening. "Well, I have a number of ideas, but they all require your approval."

"Yeah?" Lexa asked, her heart pounding in her chest as Clarke stepped closer to Lexa. Their proximity had already been so close that Clarke's breasts bumped into Lexa's now, and dark eyes were drawn down to the cleavage that had been staring at her all night.

"Yes," Clarke repeated, chuckling and grabbing both of Lexa's hands. She pulled Lexa around the table and toward her bedroom. It felt surreal, following Clarke into the room, where Clarke then stopped them and brought their lips together desperately. Lexa forgot about the bigger picture as she got lost in Clarke's lips, but when neither of them could breathe, Clarke pulled away. "We don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, you know? I don't want you to be uncomfortable, or scared, or anything."

"I'm not scared," Lexa whispered.

"Lexa," Clarke said softly, "your heart is pounding."

"There is more than one reason for that," Lexa murmured, her arms dropping and wrapping around Clarke's waist. "I want to do this with you. We've both waited long enough."

Clarke searched her gaze, smiling. "You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Excellent," Clarke muttered, bringing their lips back together as their clothed bodies came together fully. Lexa barely realized that Clarke had been fumbling with the zipper on the back of her dress until it was being pulled all the way down, and her back was suddenly exposed to the cool air in the apartment. Clarke's fingers trailed down her exposed skin, and she shivered. Lexa brought her own hands around to Clarke's back, feeling for a zipper, but Clarke giggled against her lips. "Side zipper," she murmured, and then separated herself from Lexa in order to pull the straps of her dress off of her shoulders. Then she undid the side zipper and the dress dropped uselessly to pool around her feet.

Lexa's eyes widened in appreciation as her gaze fell upon Clarke's nearly entirely exposed body. Her skin was fair and soft looking, and she had perfect curves that Lexa never would've been able to visualize without seeing them like this. She was wearing dark blue underwear and a dark blue bra, both each a little lacy and leaving just enough to imagination that Lexa wanted to tear them off. "Oh fuck," she moaned out, and Clarke laughed against, stepping a fraction of an inch closer before lifting her hands to Lexa's shoulder and gently pushing her dress strap off of it. She gently tugged the dress down and off of Lexa, who inhaled deeply as the majority of her skin became exposed.

Clarke scanned her figure for a moment, but just a short moment, before meeting her gaze again. Lexa was entrapped in her crystal blue eyes. "Beautiful," Clarke muttered, closing the remaining distance between them and pressing her lips passionately against Lexa's. Her tongue slid through to meet Lexa's forcefully, and Lexa moaned as she was pushed backwards, toward Clarke's bed. Before she knew it, she was lying flat on it, her head on Clarke's pillow, with the blonde straddling her purposefully.

Lexa's entire body was on fire, every inch of her skin that touched Clarke's burned in the best way. Her body was already reacting so desperately, her hips lifting off the mattress slightly to meet Clarke's, and the blonde gently stroked her midsection with her hand. "Clarke," Lexa heard herself whine against her girlfriend's lips, and Clarke moaned in response, pulling her lips away from Lexa's and pressing them against her neck instead. Lexa suddenly felt Clarke's thigh press against her center, through her underwear, and she gasped. Her hips moved involuntarily against it, creating friction as best as she could.

Clarke propped herself up a bit more, separating her lips from Lexa's skin. Her free hand was wrapped around the brunette, tugging on the clasp of her bra. "Can I take this off?"

"Please do," Lexa whined, and Clarke unclasped it single-handedly, pulling the strapless piece of clothing off of her easily. It disappeared somewhere off the bed, and Clarke rejoined their lips, her left hand coming up to gently touch Lexa's breasts. Lexa felt herself moan into Clarke's mouth, but then her it was gone, and Clarke's tongue was suddenly in the valley between Lexa's boobs. Her nipples were hard, and she was grateful when Clarke finally took one in between her lips. "Fuck..."

She kept her center rubbing against Clarke's thigh, wondering when her girlfriend would finally touch her. When Clarke pulled her face away from Lexa's chest, her hand finally lowered itself down to Lexa's underwear. Tentatively, her fingers pressed against her through the clothing, replacing her thigh, and Lexa gasped as she did.

"Clarke," Lexa hissed, her hips bucking against her will.

"Your panties are wet," Clarke murmured as she leaned down and pressed her lips to Lexa's neck again. Lexa hadn't even noticed how wet she was, but before she could think anything of it, Clarke's hand had slid into her underwear, and two fingers were sliding through her folds.

"Fuck," Lexa gasped out, "Clarke!"

"I've got you, babe," Clarke whispered softly against her neck, her fingers rubbing against her clit gingerly. Lexa moaned, her breathing increasing and her entire body itching at this point. "Because it's your birthday," Clarke continued, "I won't tease you too much."

"Thank fuck," Lexa whimpered, and suddenly two fingers slid into her, and she let out a needy moan.

She could tell that Clarke was being gentle with her, but her body felt desperate to come. Clarke's tongue was against her collarbone, along with her teeth and her lips, and Lexa barely heard her when she murmured, "I love that I can touch you." Lexa whimpered again, trying her best to thrust against Clarke's fingers.

"Clarke," Lexa moaned, feeling herself tighten as she felt herself coming up to her high. "Fuck, fuck!" Her orgasm ripped through her senses in a long moment, almost frozen in time, and then she relaxed into the bed, breathing heavy. "Fuck."

"Mmhmm," Clarke hummed in agreement, placing soft kisses on the curve of Lexa's neck. Just as Lexa was beginning to come down, her breathing evening, Clarke whispered something again. "Can I taste you?"

Lexa had hardly realized that Clarke's fingers were still buried inside her, and she moaned, nodding. "Yes."

Clarke's presence right next to her disappeared, and suddenly she was resting between Lexa's thighs, her darkened eyes directed at Lexa's center. Suddenly, her tongue was running across her wetness, and Lexa let out a relieved sigh at the feeling, before Clarke's fingers began to move again and she felt herself desperately wanting to come again.

It took longer this way, but Lexa thought that might be because Clarke was purposefully making it take longer. Either way, when she finally came again, she felt utterly relieved, and Clarke fully detached herself from the area between Lexa's legs. She sucked her fingers clean, and Lexa moaned as she watched, sucking her lower lip into her mouth.

"Well that was worth the wait," Clarke murmured softly, resting her weight on top of Lexa, who bit back a grin.

"Yes," she agreed. "I wanna make you feel good too, Clarke."

"How about tomorrow?" Clarke asked, placing a soft kiss on the corner of Lexa's lips. "It's your birthday, after all."

Lexa pouted, and Clarke chuckled, kissing her fully instead now. Lexa accepted the kiss easily, letting Clarke control it without any hesitation. When Clarke pulled away, Lexa nodded shyly. "Okay, tomorrow." Clarke rolled off of her, laying alongside her now instead.

"Happy birthday," Clarke murmured. "Was it a good one?"

"The best," Lexa answered, rolling her eyes and smiling sleepily at the blonde next to her. "Um. I'm naked, you're not." She wasn't sure when exactly her underwear had come completely off, but they were entirely gone now.

Clarke glanced down at her still partially clothed body. Reaching behind herself, she gave Lexa a smirk and unhooked her bra, sliding it off her body and tossing it away. Lexa's eyes widened as her gaze fell on Clarke's exposed breasts. She hardly realized when Clarke's underwear was gone as well, but a low chuckle from the blonde finally drew her attention back to blue eyes. "Such a perv," Clarke teased, wrapping her arm around Lexa and pulling her close. Their breasts smashed together somewhat in between them, and Lexa leaned forward to close the last bit of space in between them with a kiss.

Then she nestled her head into Clarke's neck, exhaling softly. "Yeah, this was the best birthday ever."

"I'm glad, babe," Clarke murmured, and their bare legs tangled together as Clarke adjusted herself a little to pull the blankets up and over them. And like that, they fell asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Lexa's eyes flickered open at what felt like early morning, and realized that light was peeking into the room through the slightly open curtains on the window across the room. Her body began to shift positions, but she froze as she felt an arm tighten around her.

The previous night suddenly came back to mind like a flood through a broken damn, and Lexa felt redness rush to her cheeks. Closing her eyes and focusing on her proximity to Clarke, she found that she could feel the blondes bare breasts pressed against her back. Their bodies were entirely flush together, and Lexa let out a pleased sigh.

When she opened her eyes again, she realized that she'd fallen asleep with makeup still on her face, and she groaned inwardly. Though she didn't want to leave the bed, she figured that if she got up while Clarke was still asleep, she might be able to get back into bed before the blonde woke up. So she carefully maneuvered her way out of Clarke's hold, and then got off the bed, padding across the room and into the bathroom once she was free.

She didn't even look at her smudged makeup before beginning to wipe it away with water and her hands. After a moment of trying and failing to wipe it all away this way, she opened the cabinet under the skin and found makeup wipes. Assuming that Clarke wouldn't mind if she took one, she grabbed one out of the pack and then stood back up and looked into the mirror at her terribly messy face and began to wipe it clean.

Then, she rinsed out her mouth as well as she could, stealing a bit of Clarke's toothpaste.

Once she felt clean enough, she quickly went to the bathroom, washed her hands, and then sneaked back out into the bedroom. Clarke had rolled over onto her back, but her eyes were still firmly shut. Lexa went around back to the side of the bed she'd slept on, and slid back under the covers. It still felt weird to her that she was entirely naked, as was Clarke, but at the same time, it was strangely comfortable to be exposed like this.

Lexa's heart rate increased as she turned onto her side, facing her girlfriend and just watching her for a moment. Her first instinct was to just stare and ponder how the hell she was dating someone so incredible, but her second instinct was much more primal, as it dawned on her that Clarke was still entirely naked as well. She scooted forward a little, and leaned up, placing a soft kiss on the corner of Clarke's lips. The blonde murmured something, turning over again and forcing Lexa to quickly scoot out of her way, else Clarke would've ended up entirely on top of her.

"Clarke," Lexa whispered, extending her arm under the blanket and pressing her hand on Clarke's midsection.

"Mm?" the blonde hummed, her eyelids fluttering a moment before finally opening. Clarke's eyes went slightly wide for a second, as if she was remembering where they were and what had happened the night before. "Good morning."

"Morning," Lexa returned, biting back a wide smile.

"You already got up."

Lexa nodded. "We didn't even wash our faces before going to bed."

"I'll be right back then," Clarke murmured, pushing the blankets off of herself and rolling over before standing up from the bed. Lexa's mouth went dry as she got a full view of Clarke's bare back and ass. She made her way to the bathroom, and Lexa watched shamelessly. Just before she disappeared into the smaller room, Clarke glanced over her shoulder and sent Lexa a knowing wink.

The door closed, and Lexa sighed happily, pulling the blankets up around her and inhaling deeply. By now, Clarke's bed was easily her favorite place. It smelled like Clarke, for one, but as Lexa laid there, she realized that it also smelled like her. At least, it did now after the night before.

The bathroom door opened again a couple minutes later, and Lexa glanced up with wide eyes as she now had a full frontal view of her girlfriend. Clarke bit down on her lower lip, making her way back to the bed and laying back down on it. "Do you have to be somewhere today?" Clarke asked quietly.

"Not really," Lexa answered. "I should probably go home at least tonight, though, or my mother will probably murder me. But I'm all yours this morning."

Clarke pressed her lips against Lexa's softly, and the younger girl immediately reciprocated, sliding her tongue against Clarke's lips. Clarke let her in without question, and Lexa felt a surge of confidence all of the sudden. Her hands found Clarke's midsection again, gently touching Clarke's soft, smooth skin.

Not letting nerves stop her, she dragged the pads of her fingers upwards on Clarke's body, until they reached Clarke's chest, and she boldly spread her palms across her boobs. Clarke let out a pleased sigh, and pushed her front closer to Lexa's, pressing her breasts against Lexa's hands. Lexa got the message, and she squeezed them experimentally. The hum that escaped Clarke's lips and vibrated against Lexa's was enough for the brunette to know that it was okay. Lexa's heart was pounding in chest, though, and she knew that she was terrified of messing up somehow.

Clarke pulled her lips away from Lexa's, and her blue eyes met Lexa's gaze. "Lexa," Clarke said, quietly yet firmly, "if you don't want to –"

"I do," Lexa interrupted quickly, knitting her brow.

Clarke's expression softened slightly. "I know you do. But you don't have to now if you aren't ready."

"I'm ready," Lexa promised, shaking her head. "I'm just... scared that I... won't be able to make you feel good."

"How about," Clarke murmured, raising her left hand up to her own breast and grabbing Lexa's right hand, "you just try anyway. And if for some strange reason," she continued, dragging Lexa's hand across her skin, down toward her center, "you do something that doesn't feel good, I'll tell you."

Clarke's hand stopped moving when their joined hands were just below her belly button. "Okay," Lexa agreed, biting down on her lower lip and scanning Clarke's face. Swallowing thickly, she forced away her nerves and closed the distance between them with another kiss. When Clarke sighed contently against her lips, Lexa squeezed the boob she still had a hold of and her hand move further down Clarke's body.

When she reached Clarke's center, she forced out anything other than the thought that she wanted to make her girlfriend feel good, and she slid her hand down over Clarke. Clarke's hips moved forward a little, wanting the touch, and Lexa obliged, sliding her fingers across Clarke's folds.

She was slightly surprised by the fact that Clarke was already wet, but it wasn't too hard to believe in retrospect, considering the previous night. Clarke sucked in a breath as Lexa found her clit, and the brunette released her lips and brought her own to Clarke's neck and collarbone as her fingers worked slowly in between Clarke's legs. She teased around Clarke's clit and opening, and it wasn't until her girlfriend pushed her hips, letting out a moan, that Lexa finally entered her.

Clarke breathed out in brief relief, but then moaned again as Lexa began to move her fingers. Considering that her only experience with anything like this was masturbating, she was still slightly scared. At least when she was masturbating, she knew what was feeling good or not as it was happening.

But it got less nerve wracking after a minute, once she realized that instinct was helping her well enough. Also, as soon as she realized that Clarke was about to come, the last of her nerves and fear faded away instantly.

When Clarke's breathing evened out, and Lexa fingers were no longer buried inside the blonde, Clarke scooted closer to Lexa. Their breasts squished together between them. "See, I knew there was nothing to worry about."

"I guess I was scared that you wouldn't come."

Clarke chuckled. "You know sex isn't all about orgasms."

"Sure, but they're nice," Lexa said, lifting an eyebrow as a smirk appeared on her face.

"You're not wrong," the blonde agreed, smiling softly. She let out a content sigh, draping her arm over Lexa's waist under the blanket. "This feels surreal."

"I agree."

"It felt like you were never going to turn eighteen," Clarke admitted quietly, and Lexa frowned. "I almost still don't believe it finally happened."

Green eyes rolled playfully. "Yeah well, it did."

They laid in Clarke's bed like that for a while, talking and holding each other. When it was past noon, they both got up dejectedly. Clarke decided that before dropping Lexa off at her house, they should stop for coffee, and Lexa didn't object.

She also didn't object when Clarke insisted that she change into some of her own clothes rather than the same dress she'd worn the night before. That was how Lexa ended up back in her panties and bra, but also in leggings and a t-shirt that belonged to Clarke. They smelled like the blonde as well, and Lexa had to keep herself from grinning about it too much.

Clarke drove them to The Bean, after making sure that Lexa hadn't forgotten her present. Lexa let Clarke buy her coffee, but as she accepted it, she told herself that whatever she did with Clarke next would involve her paying, not Clarke.

Back at her house, Lexa gave Clarke a goodbye kiss, another thank you for the incredible birthday, and then grabbed her dress, her phone, the little clutch purse she had, and the framed drawing from Clarke's car and did her best to sneak into her house. She knew that her mom was home, because both her car and her mom's were still outside.

Halfway upstairs, she heard a call from her mom's room. "Hey, Lexa! Can I talk to you when you get a minute?"

"Yeah," Lexa called down, "just a sec."

As Lexa went up to her room and dropped her dress onto the floor lazily, she realized that her mother could be prepared to say a number of things to her. It could be a quick happy birthday, or an attempt to make up for their fight the previous week, although really Lexa probably owed the apology, but it could also be the same old shit.

Lexa grabbed a hair tie and left her room, starting down the stairs as she tied her hair up and glanced around. Her mom, she realized, had left the master bedroom and was waiting for her in the living room. "Hey," her mom said quietly, as Lexa dropped her hands to either side of her body and walked over to sit on the opposite end of the couch.

"Hey."

"You were out all night. And Friday night."

Lexa nodded. "Yeah, birthday celebration stuff, you know?"

"I figured," her mom said, nodding. "I wasn't sure what I should get you, but since it's your eighteenth, I thought I'd just give you some cash. That way you can spend it yourself. So here." Her mom reached into her pockets and procured two hundreds. Lexa's eyes widened.

"Mom, you don't –"

"Come on, Lexa, you're an adult now," her mom insisted. Lexa nodded shyly, accepting the money.

"Thank you."

"So, how was your birthday? Did you hang out with Anya?"

"Yeah, Friday and yesterday afternoon."

Her mom nodded slowly. "So last night, you were with the guy you're dating?"

Lexa's stomach tightened at the question, but she forced herself to nod. At least now she was only half lying."

"You were safe, right? You don't want to get pregnant before you even get into college."

"Yeah, mom, don't worry about that."

Her mother looked at her carefully, and Lexa suddenly feared that she might be able to see right through her lies somehow. She hadn't ever before, of course, but the fear was still there. "So how is that anyway? College applications? They're due in November, right?"

"End of November," Lexa answered, nodding, "but I actually turned my Polis application in last week. Because, you know, they do rolling admissions. I could find out whether or not I got accepted within in the next couple of weeks. This week at the earliest, but that would just be if they happened to look at my application first. Lots of people apply early for rolling admissions."

"Well, let me know as soon as you find out."

"Of course."

* * *

"Hey guys!" Clarke called happily as she walked into the warehouse, noticing that most of her friends, not Jasper or Monty, were sprawled across Octavia's floor. She wondered briefly why that seemed to be the trend, when Bellamy's room was just across the entrance with a super comfortable couch.

"Ooh, look who's in a great mood," Raven teased, grinning. "Was it good?"

Clarke scoffed. "Don't be weird."

"Oh come on!" Octavia said, laughing and shaking her head. "You finally got laid, and by the girl you've been waiting for for longer than a month."

"Obviously it was good," Bellamy stated, "or she wouldn't be that happy sounding."

"This conversation is making me uncomfortable," Finn muttered.

Raven snorted. "You don't get to be uncomfortable just because you almost slept with Clarke's girlfriend."

"She's right," Clarke agreed. "Is there beer?"

"You can take on from my room." She gave Bellamy a grateful smile and the turned to go get herself a drink.

"Did she like your drawing?" Octavia called.

Clarke blushed. "Yes." She crouched in front of Bellamy's fridge, opening it and grabbing a drink. As she headed back into Octavia's room and took a seat on the floor next to Bellamy, Raven flashed her a smile.

"So everything went perfectly and shit?"

"Yep."

Finn chuckled, shaking his head. "I never thought that I'd see the day where you were a sap, Clarke."

"I'm not sap!" Clarke squeaked out in defense, narrowing her eyes as she opened her can of beer and took a long drink. "Just because I'm happy in a relationship doesn't make me a sap."

"No, what makes you a sap," Raven started, "is that you're like a love struck idiot around Lexa. And it's actually pretty adorable."

"I'm not love struck!"

Octavia rolled her eyes. "You totally are."

"Am not!"

"Tell me that you haven't fallen head over heels for Lexa," Raven dared her, raising both of her eyebrows expectantly.

"I..." Clarke's voice trailed off, because as she thought about it, saying that she wasn't in love with Lexa felt like a lie. Even though she hadn't decided that it was necessarily the truth, it felt like a lie to deny it. "Ugh, whatever. I'm not a sap. Let's talk about something else."

Bellamy stepped up and started a new conversation, but Clarke drifted off into her own thoughts anyway. The next step, she realized, was to decide whether or not she was actually in love with Lexa.

Because that would definitely be a first.


	24. Chapter 24

"So," Anya started, leaning back in the seat a bit. She and Lexa were seated in their usual corner of The Bean, after school on Monday. Lexa had been planning on going to the warehouse for the last hour that Clarke would be there, but Anya had insisted, saying that she had to give her her birthday present still. "How was Saturday?"

"Wait, I thought you said you wanted to give me something? Now you just wanna talk about my date with Clarke?" Lexa asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah?" Anya rolled her eyes. "We'll get to the present, don't be so greedy. Come on, don't you wanna talk about it? I know you didn't talk about it to your mom yesterday. You were too busy getting money shoved at you."

Lexa crossed her arms. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." She thought back to Saturday, and couldn't fight the smile appearing on her face. "It was amazing. The dinner was great, and then she gave me the drawing that I sent you a picture of. And then... well, I'm sure you can fill in what happened afterward."

"That's all I get?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like a detailed account?" Lexa raised both of her eyebrows, smirking as Anya crinkled her nose.

"Okay, fine," she gave in, shrugging.

"Aw, you mean you don't feel like imagining me and Clarke having sex?"

Anya gagged. "You've made your point, Lex. Anyway. So you had a good date?"

"Yes," Lexa answered, smiling apologetically at her best friend.

"Has she dropped the L bomb on you yet?"

"Why do you and Luna both keep thinking that's going to happen soon?" Lexa demanded, crossing her arms. "If she loves me, she'll tell me. And if that happens soon, then cool, but it could be a while from now. I don't want to be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for it just because you and Luna think that she's going to tell me soon."

"I'm just saying," Anya defended herself quickly, "that I think she loves you. And so do her friends. A few of us were talking about it at your birthday party."

Lexa let out a groan, running her hand through her hair. "Well, I don't want to get hung up on it, okay? And neither should any of you. Frankly, details of our relationship isn't really any of your guys' business."

"Alright, fine." Anya sat up a bit straighter. "I'll cut it out. At least I've finally got used to you and her dating."

"Valid point."

"Anyway, ready to hear what your birthday present is?"

Lexa couldn't help but smile. "Sure."

"So, I talked to Echo, and I got her to sneak into the admissions office at Polis. She got our applications and put them at the top of the review list last week after we turned them in, which means that we should have our acceptance letters any day now," Anya explained, grinning widely.

Lexa's jaw dropped. "You had Echo sneak into the admissions office?"

"Hey, it's not like she really broke the rules or anything. All she did was move us to the top of the review list. You and I both know that a lot of people apply early, and rolling admissions are no fun if you still have to wait months to get an acceptance letter," Anya insisted.

"You mean a letter. You don't know that we'll get accepted."

"I'm pretty damn sure."

Lexa looked over her best friend carefully. "You know, maybe you've been hanging out too much with Luna now." The corner of her lips pulled upward, and Anya grinned.

"Maybe. Anyway, our futures shall be told by the end of the week," Anya announced proudly. "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," Lexa returned, shaking her head despite the smile on her face. "You're crazy. We better get in, or else you just sped up our utter depressing results."

"At least then we'd have time to polish our applications to apply somewhere else. I mean, yeah I wanna go to Polis because it's cost efficient, especially considering how decent of a school it is. But I'll leave state if I have to. There are definitely better places than here."

Lexa blinked. "Yeah, well. I don't want to leave."

"It wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to you."

"Yeah well, it would still suck pretty bad," Lexa muttered. "Anyway, wanna knock some homework out of the way?"

* * *

"Not working tonight?" Bellamy called as Clarke stepped into the warehouse. Turning her head, she saw him sprawled over his couch.

"No, I worked all morning. Plus, yesterday I sold another piece on etsy, so I have to package it and send it out before eight today," Clarke answered, smiling widely and starting into his room. "I should start painting more, now that I think about it. I haven't finished anything in the past month. Aside from Lexa's present, of course, though that was different."

"Speaking of Lexa," Bellamy said, sitting up and giving Clarke room to sit down on the couch as well, "did you talk to her on Saturday?"

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, sitting down. "Yes, obviously. What do you mean?"

"I mean, did you talk to her about being scared of her and committing and whatnot?"

"I'm not scared of her! Or committing!" Clarke squeaked, crossing her arms and visibly tensing. Bellamy gave her an incredulous look. "It's not... it's not like that, Bell. It's more like... I'm scared of the possible bad things that could happen. I don't actually think they'll happen... but if they did, like they usually do, then what?"

"I don't know, Clarke, but you should, since you were supposed to talk to her about it on Saturday."

"I'm sorry, it's not like we were busy with other things or anything like that!" Clarke exclaimed, her voice raising unintentionally.

"Look, C, I'm not trying to tell you what to do," Bellamy insisted, shaking his head and giving her a sad look. "I'm just saying that you should talk to her. I know that you care about her, and I would hate to see you two lose each other because you didn't bring up the one thing that could put a strain on your relationship."

Clarke lowered her gaze. "I know, but... what if she... ugh, never mind, she wouldn't leave me over something like this. You're right. I just need to talk to her about it."

"Exactly."

"Ugh, I already suck a this."

"You're fine, Clarke," Bellamy argued. "And you'll be fine. You don't have to just call her up and say something about it. Wait until this weekend, when you two can hang out. Or do it whenever you want, just talk to her. It's pretty weird that you're comfortable talking to me about all of this, and not your girlfriend."

"You're my best friend, Bellamy." Clarke's voice was even, steady, serious. She'd never really just openly admitted that before, but it was true. "I mean, you're right, I need to talk to Lexa about it. But that doesn't change that you're easily the right person for me to talk to when I can't talk to her."

"Aw, you really have become such a sap," Bellamy teased, grinning widely at the blonde, who immediately kicked him from her side of the couch. "Hey!"

"Doesn't give you the right to tease me," Clarke insisted, before getting up off of the couch. "I've gotta go package up that piece and bring it to the post office. Wanna help, or are you too busy laying on your couch and basking in the fact that you have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon?"

"My class got canceled," Bellamy muttered, but he followed her movements. "I'll help."

* * *

Lexa stared down at the envelope in her hands. She was seated in her living room, just having driven home from Anya's house. Her best friend had gotten her letter the night before, Friday, and her mom had opened it without Anya knowing. Anya only found out this morning that she did indeed get into Polis U, and had immediately called Lexa and invited her over to tell her. Of course, Lexa was overjoyed for her best friend, but her own letter was now glaring up at her.

It was still in the envelope, of course, because Lexa's heart was pounding and she wasn't sure if she should open it while she was alone. She could go to Clarke's, or the warehouse if that's where her girlfriend was, or she could even go back to Anya's place. If she wanted, she could get her mom to come sit by her at least. The older woman was only one room away, anyway.

But no, she had to do it alone. If she didn't get in, she didn't want anyone to see the tears that would undoubtedly begin to fall. She didn't want to see disappointment in anyone's eyes before she got a chance to process the result. Lexa had spent most of the week preparing herself for the worst, because elation was a far preferred emotion to devastation.

Taking in a deep breath, she turned the envelope over and stared at the seal. On it, it read **"Polis University Admissions Office"**. Taking in a deep breath, she stuck her thumb into the side of the seal, forcing it to break, and she dragged it through the whole envelope until it was open. A neatly folded piece of paper was stuck inside. Lexa swallowed down her nerves as best as she could, and pulled the letter out.

She found herself in another staring contest, with the folded letter this time, for about two minutes until she finally found the courage to begin to unfold it. Her hands shook, and her heart pounded, as she finished unfolding. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she took in a deep breath. As soon as her eyes were open, she forced in on the first word following the greeting, and let out a loud breath of relief when she saw the word **"Congratulations"**. She read the rest of the letter over briefly with blurred vision, and barely registered a door closing and her mother walking into the living room.

"Lexa? Is everything okay?"

Lexa looked up, blinking away tears and feeling them fall from her eyes. "I got in."

"To Polis?"

"Yes!" Lexa exclaimed, jumping up excitedly as her mom hurried over to her. "Oh my god."

"Are you really surprised? You deserve this, Lexa, you work so hard," her mother insisted, grinning and wrapping her arms around her tightly. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Lexa whispered, burying her face into her mom's shoulder. She wasn't sure why she was crying, but she couldn't help but feel utterly relieved. The next four years of her future were set, everything was going perfectly.

"I'm so proud of you." Her mom pulled out of the hug, smiling widely. "Oh my god, we're going to see each other all the time on campus."

Lexa laughed, rolling her eyes and wiping her face. "Oh yeah, what every teenage girl wants to hear about college."

"I won't bother you," her mom promised, laughing as well. "I'm just so happy for you. I know you want to go to Polis so badly. Is Anya going there? Your boyfriend?"

The question caught Lexa entirely off guard, and she opened her mouth to answer, only to shut it again. "Um. Anya is."

"Your boyfriend isn't?"

Lexa scanned her mom's face thoughtfully. Aside from the confused expression she was wearing on her face, her green eyes were full of joy and excitement, and for the first time, Lexa felt like her mom was truly excited for her, truly proud and happy. And before Lexa could stop herself, she heard herself blurt, "I don't have a boyfriend."

"What? I thought you were dating someone?"

"I am, but... it's not a boy. I mean, she's not a boy," Lexa continued, unable to stop herself now. She wouldn't chicken out.

Her mom blinked. "Oh, you're... dating a girl?"

"Yes."

"Okay... that's, um, slightly unexpected. Are you...?"

"I'm a lesbian," Lexa answered quietly, nodding. "But I'm... I'm still the same person you've raised, you know? I just love girls."

"I know, Lexa," her mom tutted as she shook her head incredulously, "did you think that I would think of you differently?"

"I... don't know what I thought," Lexa admitted. "I was just unsure, I guess. You've always wanted me to get perfect grades, have perfect friends, and be perfect all the time. But this makes me less perfect."

"Sure, it's not ideal. I mean, there are certain things that will possibly play out differently in your life now, but I'm not ridiculous, Lexa. You are just as amazing as you've always been. The only difference now is really the way that I might get grandchildren one day," her mom said, smiling softly and putting her hands on Lexa's shoulders, squeezing. "I'm still so proud of you, Lexa. Who's the girl?"

Now for part two, Lexa thought, inhaling deeply. "She goes to Polis."

Her mom's neatly formed eyebrows lifted. "Oh? She's in college?"

"Yes, she's... graduating with her associate's degree in November," Lexa answered quietly, biting down on her lower lip. "Her name is Clarke."

"I've never heard of her." Lexa tried not to sigh in relief, but she'd been slightly worried that her mom would recognize Clarke's name from campus and end up having predetermined opinions on her. "How old is she? She's getting her associate's degree... so twenty?" Her mom's voice was devoid of any dead giveaway about how she felt with the situation.

"Twenty-one."

"And you've been dating her how long?"

"A little while," Lexa answered slowly, swallowing thickly. "But we didn't... you know, when I was under eighteen."

Her mom raised an eyebrow, and Lexa bit down on the inside of her lip. "Are you mad?"

"Concerned. She didn't... manipulate you at all?"

"No! No, not at all. Definitely not."

"So on your birthday last weekend... you were at her place all night?" Lexa nodded. "You've been seeing this girl for a while? Since summer? Have you been drinking too?"

"No," Lexa lied, frowning. "I mean, yes to the since summer. But we weren't dating at first. I met her at the end of summer."

"How'd you meet her?"

"She works at The Bean." True, but not really the answer.

"What's she in school for?"

Lexa crossed her arms over her chest. "Art."

"You're dating someone who works at a coffee shop and is getting a college associate's degree in art? Seriously? And she's over three years older than you," her mom chided, shaking her head. "Really?"

"Are you really mad about this?" Lexa demanded. "I'm happy, mom. And you and I both know that I'm going to be able to support myself through and after college, so does it really matter what who I date does as a job? It's not like she's a criminal or something."

Her mom pursed her lips. "Well, I won't stop you. You're an adult now. Just, for the record, I'm not... entirely on board with this."

"You haven't even met her yet, mom," Lexa said weakly, letting out a sigh.

"So how about I meet her?"

Lexa blinked. "I'll... ask her. I mean, I'll ask her when she's available. Of course you can meet her."

Nodding, her mom looked her up and down. "Alright, thank you. Anyway, I have to go to lunch with some coworkers of mine. Congratulations on Polis, and I love you, even though your choice of girlfriend might be somewhat worrying."

"Mom."

"Fine, okay, I'll shut up until I at least meet her. I'll see you later. Let me know when she'll be coming over."

Lexa nodded, and her mom turned around and started out of the house, grabbing her keys off of the table by the entrance. Once she was gone, Lexa let out a relieved sigh. Despite the fact that her mom was iffy about Clarke, there was so much to be happy about. She was going to go to Polis U, and her mom didn't hate her for being gay.

Grinning, she refolded her letter, folding it two more times in order to slide it into her pocket, and grabbed her phone. Time to go tell her girlfriend the good news.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Forgot to update yesterday, so four chapters here we go! HOME STRETCH YALL! IT'S LIT**

* * *

"What did it say?" Anya demanded, as Lexa held her phone to her ear with one hand as she drove with the other. "Please tell me that you got in. I'll forfeit my own acceptance if you didn't. Seriously. Lexa! Why haven't you said anything yet?"

"You haven't let me get a word in!" Lexa exclaimed, grinning widely. "I got in, so you can get your panties out of the twist they're in."

"Oh thank goodness. Congrats, Lex! We're going to college together!"

"I don't know why I was so scared about it. It seems like I should've been calm, but hindsight is twenty twenty I guess. But that's not all. After I told my mom that I got in..." Lexa's voice trailed off, and she bit down on her lip. On one hand, she was pleased with the way her mom had reacted to her being gay, but she was not exactly thrilled about her reaction to Lexa dating Clarke.

She knew that her mom's reaction made sense, at least it would to her mom. Honestly, Lexa wasn't sure that she wanted her mom to meet Clarke. It wasn't that she thought, or cared if, she didn't like her, but Clarke felt like a private part of her life. Clarke was hers, and she didn't care what her mom thought.

But she'd already told her mom that she could meet Clarke, so she would have to talk to her girlfriend about it anyway. With any luck, Clarke's schedule would be booked up for a few months.

"Lexa? What did you do after you told your mom?" Anya was saying, knocking Lexa out of her thoughts.

"Right, yeah, sorry. I told her. That I'm gay, I mean," Lexa admitted.

Anya was quiet for a moment. "Really? How did she react?"

"She actually didn't care at all. I'm kind of surprised, but mostly just super grateful. She was asking about my boyfriend, and she was in such a good mood about the letter... I figured it was as good a time as ever. The problem is that I told her about Clarke as well, and she wasn't really mad... just, somewhat disappointed I think," Lexa explained.

"Why? Because she's older than you and you guys were dating before you were an adult?"

"Maybe, but mostly because I think that she doesn't think that Clarke is good enough for me. My mom's all about four year degrees and long term careers, big goals and shit like that. And I mean, so am I. But I don't care that Clarke doesn't want that for herself. It's not like she's going to keepme from doing what I want to do," Lexa said, rolling her eyes. "I just... I also told my mom that she could meet her."

"Oh wow, have fun with that," Anya said, laughing.

"Seriously, Anya, I'm so regretting ever telling my mom that I'm dating someone. I mean, she did say that she won't stop me from dating Clarke, not that she really could, because I am an adult, but I'm afraid that she's going to be really judgmental or something," Lexa admitted with a sigh. "I don't know if Clarke even wants to meet her."

"Well... why don't you talk to your girlfriend then?"

"I'm driving over to her place right now. I've got a whole shit ton of stuff to tell her apparently. What should I start with? College, or my mom?" Lexa turned into the parking lot of Clarke's apartment building.

"Your mom," Anya answered. "Or maybe not. I don't know. If she isn't cool about the mom thing as much, it could be good to tell her that first, so that you can top if off with good news. Or you could tell her the college part first, so that she's already in a good mood when you mention your mom."

"It's not like I think she's going to be mad," Lexa said, parking her car and turning it off, but not moving. "I'm just... I don't know, I feel slightly uncomfortable with the idea of her meeting my mom already. We haven't even been dating for that long."

"So tell that to your mom," Anya insisted. "Like you said, you're an adult now. You don't need her approval. Introduce her to Clarke when both of you are ready for that."

"You're right," Lexa said, sighing and shaking her head. "Ugh, I don't know what I'll do. Thanks, though. I'm at Clarke's place now, so I have to go. See you."

"Bye, college buddy!"

Lexa laughed, rolling her eyes as she hung up the call. Sliding her phone into her pocket, she got out of her car and started over to the front of the building. She hit the buzzer for Clarke's apartment, and her girlfriend's voice spoke through the box a moment later. "Who is it?"

"Lexa. Sorry, I probably should've texted first," Lexa answered, her face flushing as she realized that she'd forgotten to tell her girlfriend that she was coming over.

"Don't worry about it, cutie. Come on up." Clarke's voice cut out as the lock on the door clicked to indicate that she could now open it.

"Hey," Clarke greeted her once she'd reached the door, smiling widely. "I'm actually happy to see you."

"Oh actually?" Lexa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I was getting bored, and you know, you're kinda somewhere near the top of my entertainment list." Clarke gave her a teasing smile. "Plus, I haven't seen you all week, and that's never fun."

"True," Lexa agreed.

"You want some food or something?"

Lexa shook her head. "No, I'm okay. Actually, I have a few things to tell you." Clarke raised her eyebrows, tilting her head.

"Alright, go ahead," Clarke said, turning and going into her kitchen. She opened her fridge and grabbed two sodas, and Lexa cleared her throat.

"Well, I told my mom that I'm gay," Lexa started, her heart rate slightly elevated even though she knew that she really didn't have much to be nervous about. "And she's completely fine with it."

Clarke flashed the brunette a wide smile as she set the second soda down on the little table just outside of her kitchen. Lexa smiled gratefully and moved over to it. "That's awesome, Lexa. Seriously."

"Yeah. Ah, and I told her about you and me," Lexa continued, biting on her lower lip. Clarke's smiled flickered a bit, but it didn't disappear, and Lexa tilted her head. "It kind of went hand and hand with telling her that I'm gay, because I told her a little while ago that I'm dating someone anyway."

"Right," Clarke said, nodding and opening her soda, taking a long drink. Lexa leaned against one of the chairs by the table, her right hand over her still closed soda, as Clarke turned around, moving into the kitchen. "That's cool."

"You don't sound like you think it's cool."

"It's not that I don't," Clarke said quickly, turning back around now that she was further from Lexa. "I guess I'm just... um, I'm surprised. Do I... I mean, am I going to meet her?"

Lexa's eyebrows knit together slightly. "Um, she wants to meet you. But you don't have to if you don't want to, not yet anyway. I don't know that I'm comfortable with you two meeting yet either. My mom is a bit much."

"Mm." Clarke glanced down at the can in her hand.

Lexa frowned. "Are you mad?"

"No."

"But you don't seem not mad."

Clarke shook her head, taking another drink of the soda. "I just don't know that I'm ready for that."

"For what exactly?" Lexa asked, tensing as her voice raised a little, against her will. "Her knowing about us doesn't really change anything. You and I are hardly a secret."

"I know that," Clarke insisted quickly. "I'm just... it's kind of terrifying. My parents don't even know that I'm into girls, Lexa. I didn't even really know until the beginning of this year. I mean, I probably always did a little, but still. And I won't tell them, at least not yet."

"I didn't ask you to," Lexa defended.

"I know you didn't."

"So what's the problem?"

Clarke pursed her lips together. "There's not... I mean..." Lexa scanned her girlfriend carefully, and then took a step backwards.

"I can go. If you need to think or something." Clarke said nothing, and Lexa shook her head a little, turning around.

"Wait, no, don't." Lexa froze. "I'm not mad that you told your mom about us, Lexa. Like I said, I'm terrified."

"Of my mom?"

"No. Of... just... things."

Lexa turned back around, crossing her arms over her chest as Clarke set down her soda can on the kitchen counter. "What things, Clarke? I don't know how to fix this if you won't talk to me."

"There's nothing to fix, Lexa, I'm just an fucking idiot," Clarke snapped, her hand jumping up to her forehead, brushing through her hair.

"You're not an idiot," Lexa argued, stepping closer to the table that lay in between them. "Why do you think that?"

"Because, Lexa, I'm terrified of you."

Lexa froze, her frown deepening as her eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean you're scared of me? How could I scare you? I'm probably the least intimidating person I've ever known of."

"It's not like that," Clarke breathed out, shaking her head and turning away again, to which Lexa responded by stepping closer, slightly around the table.

"So what's it like?"

Clarke glanced at her, and then let out a shaky sigh. "Before last weekend, it didn't feel as real."

"What? You and me dating? Are you trying to say that now that I'm an adult, you don't want to date me?"

"No!" Clarke exclaimed, exasperated and taking a step closer. "It's not that at all. It's that, when you and I couldn't have sex, and we had to be careful, it the reality of this relationship thing wasn't as heavy."

"What do you mean relationship thing?"

"I mean, Lexa, that this is the most serious relationship I've ever been in. Every person I've ever dated has ended up being a cheater, a liar, or just a fucking asshole. I've never been happy in a relationship, and before I met you, I was ready to throw away any thought of having a person care about me in more than a friend sort of way. I was going to stop thinking about relationships altogether, do my art, maybe hook up with some people so that I didn't dry up... you are so not what I planned. And as soon as you turned eighteen, and a future with you became a hell of a lot more plausible and realistic, it hit me. I'm fucking terrified of this messing up. Of me messing up and hurting you, or me getting hurt, or just... it ending. And I'm an idiot for thinking that, because I do trust you... but I'm fucking falling in love with you and it's fucking terrifying," Clarke finished, swallowing thickly and then taking in a deep breath. Her eyes were watery, and Lexa's heart was racing, her own eyes tearing up a bit as well.

"Clarke," Lexa whispered, gathering up her courage and walking over to Clarke, stopping in front of her. "First of all, you're not an idiot. And if you think we've moved too fast or something, you can tell me. I won't get my feelings hurt."

"It's not that it's gone too fast," Clarke clarified, sighing, "it's just that I'm not used to relationships becoming better as they go. It scares me... makes me think that the end will be way worse than normal."

Lexa brought her hands up to the sides of Clarke's face, pushing back her hair and then draping her arms around her girlfriend's neck. "Who says there's an end? You know, sometimes it's better to not assume that a relationship will end. I mean, do you look at your friends and think, 'well, I hope that when our friendship ends, things don't go too badly'?"

"No."

"So don't do that to me," Lexa murmured. "You're not the only one of us who's been scared before. The idea of being with you has terrified me a number of times. I mean, sure I internalized it a lot until it was mostly gone, but it's still something I've felt before. And it's okay to be scared, isn't it? As long as we talk about it, like now, and don't act rashly because of it."

"You mean that I shouldn't act like an idiot just because I feel like one?" Clarke asked, smirking a little.

"You said it, not me," Lexa teased quietly, a smile pulling at her lips. "Has this been bothering you for a while?"

"Since last Saturday," Clarke admitted, her gaze falling. "Before I took you out. Bellamy told me that I should talk to you about it after dinner, but I sorta forgot. Plus, I wasn't worried about it while we were out."

"I don't want you to be scared," Lexa whispered as she felt Clarke's arms slide around her waist. "Especially not of me, or us, or whatever. So what can I do to make you not scared?"

"Just... remind me that you're not going to disappear," Clarke mumbled back, their faces just inches apart now. Lexa's eyes flickered in between Clarke's, and she closed the distance between them, their lips meeting softly. The kiss was slow, gentle, and when it ended, Lexa bumped her nose against Clarke's.

"I'm not gonna disappear. In fact, actually, the second thing I wanted to tell you," Lexa murmured, pausing to press another fluttery kiss against Clarke's lips, "is that I got my letter from Polis admissions."

Clarke pulled back a little to meet Lexa's gaze. "And?"

"I got in," Lexa answered, grinning.

"Of course you did," Clarke said, smiling widely as well, "did you think you wouldn't?"

"I was... preparing myself for the worst outcome," Lexa admitted. "You know, so that I didn't get too depressed if I didn't get in. But yeah, I did get in, so far enrolled as an undecided major. I'm still clueless as to what I'm going to do with my future."

"College is a good start." Clarke leaned forward again and pressed their lips together in another kiss. "Congratulations," she then mumbled into it. "And I'm sorry for –"

"Don't apologize," Lexa tutted immediately, pulling her lips away and leaving just their foreheads touching.

"How about I apologize in a different way then?" Clarke murmured suggestively, grabbing Lexa's lips and taking a step to the side and backwards, toward her bedroom.

Lexa heard herself giggle, and she pulled away to give Clarke a questioning look. "It's like the middle of the day."

"So? You're really going to pass up sex because it's not nighttime?"

"Well, when you put it like that..."

Clarke grinned, stepping away from the brunette and grabbing her hand. "Come on, beautiful." Lexa let herself be led into the room, but just before they got to the bed, Clarke's phone started ringing from where it was sitting on her nightstand. "Fuck. Let's ignore it."

Lexa rolled her eyes, going over to the phone and glancing down. "It's Octavia."

"So? Fuck her."

"You should answer it."

"Fine," Clarke agreed, frowning and grabbing her phone. "Hello?"

As Octavia spoke, Lexa slid off her shoes and climbed into Clarke's bed. Blue eyes were trained on her as Lexa pulled the blankets up to her chin, and then proceeded to strip her clothes off under the blankets. Clarke's eyes widened.

"Uh, yeah, O, I heard what you said. Okay, yeah no, I didn't hear the last part. Um, just recap?" Lexa pushed her discarded jeans and underwear from the bed, letting them fall from under the blanket to the floor. Clarke bit her lip impatiently, and Lexa then reached down to her hips and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over herself. She flung it aside and then started on her bra. "Okay, yeah. Sure, we can. Not right now, though. Because, Octavia, I'm busy. What? No! No, that's not – no! No. I'll see you later. Yes... No, shut up. See you later. Bye."

Clarke set her phone down, and Lexa raised an eyebrow at her. "Bed's off limits."

"Oh really? It's my bed," Clarke countered, crossing her arms.

"This is now a no clothing zone," Lexa explained, biting down on her lower lip for a moment. "So you're, ah, going to need to remove those before you join me."

"You looking for a striptease, Lexa?" Clarke asked, smirking as her hands found the bottom of her shirt.

"Mm. I just don't wanna be the only naked one here."

"I can't even see you right now." Lexa bit the inside of her cheek, forcing her shyness away and pushing the blankets down off of her. Clarke's eyes widened, darker already. "Oh."

"You gonna take off your clothes now?"

Clarke's gaze met Lexa's, and the brunette blushed as they stuck there even as Clarke tugged off her shirt. She released her bra clasp in a swift motion, letting it drop away. Lexa's mouth went dry, and she couldn't help it as her gaze raked across her girlfriend as Clarke tugged off her pants and underwear at the same time. She looked away quickly however, until Clarke was suddenly approaching the bed. "You're allowed to look, you know?"

Lexa sucked her lower lip into her mouth, and Clarke sat on the edge of the mattress, sliding her legs down next to Lexa's.

"You're allowed to look, and you're allowed to touch," Clarke murmured, laying down on her side, facing Lexa. "You don't have to be shy."

"Can't help it," Lexa admitted, glancing for a split second down at her girlfriend's body, and then back up. Clarke leaned down and pressed her lips against Lexa's, sliding her tongue across them and then through them. Lexa hummed contently, aware that their fronts were now flush with each other.

"Touch me," Clarke whispered, pulling away for a moment and then closing the gap again. Lexa slowly placed her hands on soft skin, dragging her fingers across it carefully. Clarke pushed her body forward, against Lexa's, and the brunette understood that Clarke was trying to get her to be less shy about touching.

She couldn't help that it was intimidating, the idea of touching Clarke. She was still afraid that she might do something wrong. Experimentally, she lowered her hands to Clarke's hips, and pushed them over suddenly, so that she was on top of Clarke. The blonde moaned suddenly, and Lexa forced her tongue into Clarke's mouth, reversing who was in charge in an instant.

Clarke didn't argue, and Lexa ignored her nervousness, pulling her mouth from Clarke's despite the noise of discontent that the blonde muttered. Their skin rubbed against each other hotly as Lexa lowered herself slightly, pressing her lips against Clarke's collarbone. Clarke let out a small noise, and Lexa slowly lowered herself again until her mouth was exploring the skin around Clarke's breasts.

Clarke whined quietly, and Lexa glanced up at her quickly before finally pulling one of her nipples into her mouth. Her girlfriend released a pleased gasp, and the noise encouraged Lexa. As she paid Clarke's chest attention, she slid her hand up the blonde's inner thigh. Clarke's hips bucked suddenly, and Lexa took this as a good sign, easing her fingers to Clarke's center.

As soon as she touched it, Clarke moaned again, her hips rocking as Lexa touched her. This part she could do, so as she detached her lips from Clarke's nipple and continued to press her tongue and lips against Clarke's soft skin, her fingers worked diligently between her legs.

Clarke's breathing quickened, and she gasped, "Lexa," grabbing gently for Lexa's face and guiding her back up to be level with her own. Their lips met instantly, their tongues tangling. Lexa let out a loud gasp when two fingers suddenly pressed against her slit.

"Fuck," she groaned against Clarke's lips. It took all her effort to continue moving her own fingers in a steady rhythm as Clarke did the same to her. Their lips were no longer attached, but their breaths were mixing as they worked each other up. Lexa released another moan, along with a profound, "Fuck," as Clarke brought her up and up toward orgasm.

"So noisy," Clarke teased, and Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, suddenly adding a third finger into her girlfriend and picking up her pace. The blonde's breathing suddenly cut off as she let a loud, "Oh shit."

"You were saying?" Lexa murmured back.

Clarke came just before Lexa, and they both moaned out some loud expletive or something, and then Lexa's weight collapsed onto Clarke.

"Oh fuck, sorry, I'm on top of you."

Clarke chuckled. "I noticed. It's fine, though. You're kinda small anyway."

"You and I are like the same height," Lexa argued, furrowing her eyebrows. Clarke just grinned, pulling her fingers out from between Lexa's legs and bring them up to her mouth. Lexa's eyes widened as she slid them through her lips and sucked.

"Tasty," Clarke said when she pulled them back out. She gave Lexa a sly look. "You can taste me if you wanna."

Lexa carefully removed her own hand from between Clarke's legs, and gingerly brought her wet fingers to her mouth. She closed her mouth around them and sucked on them purposefully. "Mm," she hummed, her eyes flickering closed. When she was done, she opened her eyes again and met Clarke's curious gaze. "You taste really good."

"Good to know." Clarke winked at the brunette, still smiling widely. "Um, so, when Octavia called, she gave me this spiel about having a huge crush on your best friend's brother."

"Lincoln."

"Yeah, him. She said that she apparently invited him to hang out at the warehouse, and now she's freaking out and wants me to go over there so that most of us are there when he is," Clarke said, her hands sliding over Lexa's back and down to her ass. Lexa let out a content sigh at the feeling, still trying her best to listen to her girlfriend. "She told me to get there within the hour or she'd change her Netflix password."

"You use Octavia's Netflix?"

"Me and my friends share a lot," Clarke answered, chuckling. "So you wanna come?"

"I just did," Lexa reminded her lowly, and Clarke let out a loud laugh.

"You're ridiculous. You wanna come to the warehouse with me or not? Realistically, Octavia will kick us out of her room after he's there for ten minutes. She really likes him. They actually went out earlier this week," Clarke admitted, smirking. "We can grab lunch on the way. C'mon, please?"

"Of course you weirdo," Lexa answered, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "But I'm kinda comfy right now."

"I'm a comfy pillow then?"

"The comfiest."

"Well that's good to know. How about you use my body as a pillow later, though, because I really like Netflix," Clarke reasoned, batting her eyelashes at the brunette.

Lexa pouted. "Fine. But I'm coming back here to hold you to that tonight."

"Fine by me!"


	26. Chapter 26

"Octavia?" Clarke called out as they entered the warehouse. Clarke was definitely not the happiest with the fact that Octavia wanted her to come down to the warehouse – it had cut her Lexa time short. Of course, she was grateful for any time to have with Lexa.

She was mostly relieved that she'd finally talked to Lexa about her feelings regarding relationships. Unsure of why she'd been so scared, she felt absolutely relieved now. "I'm in here!" Octavia called, but Clarke and Lexa had both already entered her room by that point. "Lincoln's on his way here."

"You look like you're about to have a psychotic break," Lexa stated, and Octavia flashed her a glare.

"Okay, I'm really nervous. This place was trashed when I got here, because apparently Jasper and Monty brought Harper and Murphy over last night, and they used my room as their own private drinking space," Octavia growled, crossing her arms. "Plus, I've only been officially out with Lincolnonce, and now he's coming here and it's just... this place is personal, you know?"

"If it makes you feel better, Lexa saw this place before she even knew my name," Clarke offered, raising an eyebrow.

Octavia huffed. "That doesn't help. I just really don't want it to be awkward when he gets here."

"I'm getting the feeling that it'll be more awkward with us here, O."

Lexa chuckled. "Yeah, and I've known Lincoln practically since I was born. He wouldn't let it get awkward, though, he's way too smooth and like...nice."

"Yeah well, I'm awkward," Octavia insisted.

Clarke glanced around the room, noticing for the first time that aside from the desk and the small desk chair that had been in the room, there was a small love seat couch against the wall along with a rocking chair. "Uh, when did that get there?"

"Bellamy thinks that he's all responsible and shit, so he went out and bought some new furniture for his place. This is his old stuff," Octavia answered, shaking her head as if saying that the topic was irrelevant.

"Hello?" a voice suddenly called from the main entrance, and Octavia jumped at the sudden noise.

"Hey, Lincoln, in here!" she called back shakily, and Clarke caught Lexa trying not to laugh as Lincoln walked in.

"Wow, this place is... interesting. Oh, hi Lexa. Hi Clarke," Lincoln said, noticing them. "Didn't know you guys were going to be here."

"Oh, we're not," Clarke said quickly, grabbing Lexa's hand as the brunette bit back a grin. "We were just on our way to my art studio. See ya."

"Clarke!" Octavia hissed, but the blonde was already pulling Lexa out of the room and toward the back of the warehouse.

Lexa laughed when they reached Clarke's room, and asked, "You weren't even gonna stay over there for more than thirty seconds? You made me get out of your bed for that?"

"No, of course not. It was for the Netflix password, remember?" Clarke reminded her, smiling cheekily. "But I needed to come here at some point today anyway. Gotta pack up another painting that someone ordered."

Lexa grinned. "Is that the third one?"

"Fourth actually," Clarke admitted, blushing a little as she began to move to the back of the room, while she saw Lexa out of the corner of her eye sitting on her table top. "I sold another earlier this week, and sent it out on Wednesday. If I can get this one out before seven or so, it can ship tonight and the person will get it on Monday or Tuesday."

"Where are you shipping it to?"

"Minnesota," Clarke answered.

"So it's not just me that thinks that you're art is awesome, huh?" Lexa asked pointedly, and Clarke rolled her eyes, unable to fight her smile.

"Guess not."

"Hey, what day is your graduation ceremony?"

Clarke glanced over at the brunette, smiling sweetly at her. "Why? You wanna come and help celebrate my half-assed college experience?"

"An associate's degree is still a degree. Looks better than having to put some college on those stupid forms that people are always filling out," Lexa reasoned. Clarke shrugged.

"I guess that's true. It's November nineteenth. I can't fucking wait. I'm so done with going to classes," Clarke breathed out, shaking her head. "I won't have any school next year, and most of my friends will be finishing still."

"I'll be starting."

"Yep, everyone will be in school but me."

Lexa laughed, and Clarke felt a smile tugging at her lips again. "I'm just excited for an upgrade from high school."

"I guess it is better than high school," Clarke agreed, finally finding the painting she'd been looking for, as well as the box and wrapping material she needed to package it up. "At least you'll already know people, both in your year and senior year."

Lexa hummed thoughtfully. "True. Are all your friends going to be in their last year next year?"

"Well," Clarke started, moving over to the table and setting down her packaging supplies next to her girlfriend, "everyone but Bellamy. This year is his last, he's actually a year older than most of us, because the rest of us are Octavia's age. And actually, it might not end up being their last year. I think Octavia was considering going for a masters – she's doing journalism or something. I don't know about everyone else for sure."

"I think I'd be fine with just a bachelor's."

"But don't you not know what you wanna do yet? How can you decide what level degree you'll get if you don't even know what degree you'll be getting?"

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Okay, true. I just mean, if I don't have to, I probably won't go past my bachelor's."

"Well, I don't blame you. School takes a lot of time." Clarke finished wrapping her canvas carefully, and slid it into one of the sort of flat boxes that she'd purchased for her first shipment. Then she grabbed some packing tape, sealed it all up, and looked to Lexa. "Well, that's all I had to do. Wanna take it to the post office with me and then come back to mine? You wanted to get back in my bed, didn't you?"

Lexa batted her eyelashes at the blonde. "Of course."

* * *

"Thanks for making us wait to show up, Lex," Luna muttered sarcastically as she and Anya bust into Lexa's bedroom, "I really need help with math."

"Why couldn't Anya just help you?" Lexa asked, rolling her eyes as she leaned against her wall, seated patiently on her bed.

"You're better at calculus than I am," Anya claimed. "Anyway, you did agree to help."

Lexa gave her friends an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I was at Clarke's last night, and this morning."

"Please tell me that you two aren't just having a ton of sex to make up for lost time," Luna pleaded, dropping her backpack in the middle of Lexa's floor and sprawling across it as Anya took the desk chair.

"We don't get to see each other like at all during the week, so you can't really blame us for wanting to have some fun on the weekends. Plus, it's not like we just had sex yesterday," Lexa demanded, scoffing.

Anya raised her eyebrows. "Did you tell her about college and your mom?"

"Wait, what do you mean college and your mom?" Luna demanded, crossing her arms. "Are you two keeping secrets from me now, what the fuck? I tell you guys everything!"

"We both got our Polis acceptance letters," Lexa explained quickly, "me and Anya. And I told my mom that I'm gay, and about Clarke after I told her about college."

Luna's eyes widened. "Okay, wow. Congrats by the way. How did your mom take it?"

"She was really supportive actually," Lexa admitted, "though a little skeptical about Clarke. I hope that once she meets her, she'll realize that she's awesome. But that might not be for a couple of weeks, because I don't know that I'm ready for Clarke to meet her, and I don't think Clarke is either."

"Wait, so you didn't talk to her, or you did?"

Lexa nodded. "Oh no, I did. We... talked it out. It's complicated, but everything's fine now." Luna gave the brunette an incredulous look.

"That's all we get?"

"Luna, my relationship with Clarke isn't all public knowledge. I'm not going to recount our whole conversation to you. Clarke had some concerns about relationships, and they were settled," Lexa summed up as she narrowed her eyes at her friend.

Luna nodded slowly, and then opened her mouth again. "And then you had sex?"

"I don't wanna hear about that," Anya interrupted quickly, shaking her head. "I'm glad that it worked out well. So. Math?"

Lexa chuckled at her best friend, and slid off of her bed and down onto the floor next to Luna to help with calculus.

It was about an hour later, when they were finishing up, that there was a knock on the door. "Lexa?" It was her mom.

"Yeah, come in," Lexa called back, and her mom appeared as the door opened.

"Oh, hello Luna, and Anya," the woman said, seeming slightly disappointed all of the sudden. "I saw a car out front that I didn't recognize..."

"Mine," Luna offered, giving the older woman a smile.

Lexa laughed lightly. "Were you expecting Clarke?"

Her mother coughed awkwardly, shaking her head even though Lexa saw right through the lie. "Speaking of her, though, have you found out when I can meet her?"

"She's actually pretty busy for the next few weeks... you know, work and college and whatnot. But I'll let you know as soon as she's available," Lexa answered quickly, giving her mom the best genuine smile she could muster.

Lexa's mom nodded dismissively, looking back to Luna and then Anya. "How have you girls been?"

"Pretty good, Ms. Woods," Anya answered, and Luna nodded along.

"Have you two met Lexa's girlfriend then?"

Lexa glanced away, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Of course her mother had come in here just to pry. On one hand, it was frustrating, but on the other, at least she cared enough to inquire. "Um, yeah."

Luna nodded, picking up after Anya and continuing, "Clarke's really cool. She's probably the most responsible of the college kids that we hang out with."

"Oh, you hang out with a lot of college kids?"

Lexa let out a long breath, running her hand up through her hair and willing Luna to stop talking, but her friend continued anyway, "Well, we've been to a few college parties."

"Alright, Luna, you can stop now," Lexa bit out quickly, Luna giving her a surprised look.

"Is there drinking at these parties?" Her mom's arms were now crossed, and her eyes were trained on Lexa. "Because Lexa told me that she hasn't been drinking."

"Oh come on, mom," Lexa started, "you know that I go to the lake a lot. Just because people drink there doesn't mean that I drink."

"Yeah, seriously, Lexa's super good about not drinking," Luna continued, obviously trying to right her mistake. "I mean, sure I drink sometimes, but Lexa's a good girl."

Lexa nearly face palmed herself, but managed to resist for long enough to quickly say, "Yeah well, we really have to help Luna finish her calculus homework, mom, so we'll talk later?"

Her mom gave her a pointed look, and then nodded, leaving the room and closing the door. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Luna apologized quickly. "I really didn't mean for that to happen."

Anya was laughing already, and Lexa gave Luna a forgiving smile. "It's fine, Luna. I just... I told her that just because I'm dating someone who can legally drink, I'm not."

"You were drinking before you got with Clarke."

"Yes, Luna, but my mother doesn't need to know that."

Luna nodded. "Yeah, okay, you're right."

"That was hilarious," Anya said, grinning as she finally recovered from her laughing. "No wonder your mom hates Luna."

"What? She hates me?"

Lexa glared at Anya, and then looked softly back at her other friend. "I mean, she's not your biggest fan. She thinks that you're irresponsible. Granted, the one time that she met you was when you dropped me off during the summer and backed into our trashcan when you were driving away, because you were tipsy. She doesn't know that you'd been drinking, and I'm sure she'd like you a lot less if she did."

"If it helps," Luna defended, crossing her arms over her chest, "I've vowed to stop driving while intoxicated from now on. I just need to make another friend who can be my sober driver."

"Do you really make friends to fill certain roles in your life?"

"Of course not," Luna denied. "I'm just saying. Lexa has her permanent sober driver, because Clarke hardly ever drinks."

"She drinks. She just doesn't get drunk. Anyway, her sober driver is Bellamy, and he rarely drinks, so by extension I guess he's my sober driver as well."

Anya shrugged. "Honestly, let's just all use Bellamy. He seems cool."

"Deal," Luna agreed, grinning widely even as Lexa let out a groan, "now how about you guys help me finish this last part of my homework, and then we go out to the lake or something?"

* * *

 **From Lexa – You don't have to if you're not ready, of course, but it's been a week since I told my mom about you, and she's super antsy to meet you.**

Clarke stared down at the text message. She couldn't lie and say that she was entirely ready, but she also wasn't completely opposed to the idea. The last thing she wanted was for Lexa's mom to think that she didn't want to meet her, or that she had anything to hide. And the fact was, if Lexa's mom ended up liking her, she'd probably be set. It wasn't like her parents were going to support her at all regarding her relationship, so Lexa's mom might as well, right?

 **To Lexa – Sure, let's do it. We're going to that bonfire tonight with everyone, though, right? So how about next weekend? I know that's another whole week away, but you said you wanted to laze tomorrow and I'm busy all week.**

 **From Lexa – Of course, next Saturday?**

 **To Lexa – Works. X**

 **From Lexa – Awesome, I let her know, she's pleased now. I'm sure she'll love you. What's there not to like anyway?**

 **To Lexa – I started college late, then decided to only get a half degree. I used to drink and sleep around instead of school or work. My entire college is paid for by my mother because that's the only support she gives me. I work at a coffee shop and sell artwork on the side.**

 **From Lexa – Um, so? Stop being so down on yourself, I think you're amazing. :c**

 **To Lexa – Aw, thanks babe ;)**

 **From Lexa – Don't fish for compliments :(**

 **To Lexa – Who did any fishing? Not I!**

 **From Lexa – Yeah, yeah, whatever. My mom said that you can either come over to eat, or we can go eat out somewhere. (PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU'RE OK WITH THE SECOND OPTION BC MY MOTHER'S COOKING IS ONLY SUB PAR AND SHE JUST SAID SHE WANTS TO TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING FANCY)**

Clarke smiled at her phone. Her mother was a horrendous cook, and her dad was only decent at it, so she was used to not having homemade meals. Especially since she couldn't cook either.

 **To Lexa – Eating out sounds nice. ;)**

 **From Lexa – Good to know – and I don't appreciate your sexual innuendos.**

 **To Lexa – Yes you do ;)**

 **From Lexa – My mother is seated right across the table from me. Excuse me if I'd rather not turn bright red while texting you. Anyway, she said that's fine and we can go to that one Italian place near campus.**

 **To Lexa – Works for me. So if you don't wanna turn bright red while texting me from all the way over there, why don't you come here? ;)**

 **From Lexa – Aren't you supposed to be painting right now?**

 **To Lexa – I was, and then you texted, beautiful. X**

 **From Lexa – Go back to painting :P**

 **To Lexa – Nu, you should come to the warehouse and keep me company :( OH and bring me coffee.**

 **From Lexa – You only like me for the coffee.**

 **From Lexa – I'll be there in 15. X**

Clarke grinned, setting her phone down and making her way back to her easel. Just as she was about to pick up where she left off, a voice surprised her. "Why'd you stop blaring music? It was entertaining."

Clarke turned around again, seeing Finn standing in her doorway. "Oh, I didn't realize it stopped. I took a break to text Lexa. Apparently I'm going to meet her mother next Saturday."

Finn raised an eyebrow as the blonde moved back over to her computer. "Are you ready for that?"

"Ready as ever, I guess. I just really want Lexa's mom to be supportive of the two of us, and it's hard for her to do that if she hasn't even met me. I mean, my parents are completely not in the picture – they don't even know that I've ever dated a girl or would be interested in doing so. I'd like Lexa to at least have a healthy relationship with the one parents that she has around," Clarke explained. "And I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Of course, just don't mention your bad mistakes phase with all the drinking and sex and stuff."

"Oh yeah, you mean the time that I got stupid enough to sleep with you?"

Finn smirked. "Ha ha."

"You brought it up, not me," Clarke said with a grin. She restarted her play list, and then looked back to Finn. "Yeah so, I guess I'm kind of nervous for it, but I'm happy about it at the same time."

"Well, I hope that goes well for you both. I'm really happy that things are working out so well between you. I've never really seen you as happy as you've been lately," Finn admitted, smiling. "Sorry I almost fucked that up when it was starting."

"Don't worry about it. You were just trying to protect me," Clarke reasoned, "and by the way, contrary to what I've said in the past, if you actually met a girl that you really liked and were trying to be with... I would want you to be able to have a chance with her and be happy. When you're done fucking girls over, of course."

"Hey, I'm not nearly as bad of a fuck boy as I used to be. And I actually went on a legitimate date with a girl yesterday, didn't you hear?"

Clarke raised both of her eyebrows.

"Okay, well... I mean, we did go on a date, and then we went and had sex. But she's nice, and I wouldn't want to just throw her aside or anything," Finn said, grinning widely.

"Some things never change," Clarke teased with a shake of her head. "Well, like I said, I want you to end up happy too, Finn. Just thought I should make that clear. I'm not always very nice to you."

"You really aren't usually very nice to anyone, so I'm starting to like you a lot more than Pre-Lexa Clarke." Finn smiled softly at her. "Anyway, thanks for the music, I better get back to the shelf I'm making. See you later."

"Yeah, don't be surprised if the music goes off in a little while, though. Lexa's coming over."

Finn laughed, nodding. "Alright, princess."


	27. Chapter 27

"Are you seriously this nervous about your mom meeting Clarke?" Anya demanded, crossing her arms as Lexa laid in a heap on the other girl's bed.

"More like the other way around. I'm nervous about Clarke meeting my mom. She's going to ask Clarke all sorts of horrible questions and Clarke will probably realize that I'm not worth having to deal with my mother and then she'll dump me."

Anya was laughing already, and Lexa flashed her a deadly glare. "Okay, Lexa, you're ridiculous sometimes, but there's no way that you think that will happen."

"Okay, maybe not," Lexa muttered dejectedly. "I'm just worried that it won't go well. My mom has been trying to get me to talk about Clarke all week. If you or Luna asked me as many questions about Clarke as she does, I'd think that you had a crush on her. But I'm not about to spill Clarke's whole life story to my mother."

"I'm sure it won't be as awful as you think it will be. Is your mom driving you?"

"Hell no," Lexa answered, sighing in relief. "I'm going to drive over to Clarke's about an hour before and we're going to meet my mom at the restaurant. She had a Polis faculty meeting today or something. With all the English professors I guess. So she hasn't been home."

"Is Clarke nervous?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her since last night," Lexa muttered. "I'm scared that she's going to be nervous and make me even more nervous, or tell me that she doesn't wanna do it. I mean, that might be easier, but at the same time, my mom would probably rage hardcore. I just... ugh."

"Have you at least checked your texts so that your girlfriend doesn't think that you've died?" Anya demanded, grabbing Lexa's phone from where she'd dropped it on the floor after barging into Anya's room. Lexa narrowed her eyes at her best friend, who began typing away at the screen.

"Did she text me?"

"Let's see. You've got, 'What time are you gonna be here?', and 'Lexa?', and then 'Do you think you'd wanna come over after dinner with your mom?'," Anya read off, and Lexa sat up, extending her hand to her best friend. "Wait no, I wanna answer. Let's see if she can tell it's not you."

"What are you saying?" Lexa asked, slumping back into Anya's pillows.

"I said, 'I'll be over in about an hour' and then 'Is that code for sex because yes to the sex'," Anya answered, grinning widely.

Lexa jumped up, tackling Anya and grabbing her phone. She was horrified as she realized that Anya had actually sent the text to Clarke.

 **To Clarke – FUCK that was Anya. But yeah I'll be over in an hour, and of course I'd wanna come over after :D (with or without sex obviously don't listen to Anya)**

 **From Clarke – LOL okay babe. X**

"I hate you," Lexa said to Anya, both of them sprawled across the floor now.

"Yeah, whatever."

"I love Clarke."

Anya hoisted herself up onto one arm, looking at Lexa with wide eyes. "Finally you admit it? Damn. I thought that would've happened like two weeks ago. Are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't want to scare her," Lexa admitted, furrowing her eyebrows. "She's about to meet my mom tonight. What if I tell her afterward, and then she freaks out?"

"Play it by ear, I guess," Anya suggested, laying back down flat on her back. "I'm glad that you finally realize that, though."

"She's... ugh, I don't know, incredible. Literally fucking amazing. I don't know who I'd be without her."

"You'd be Lexa."

"Yes, obviously, but you know what I mean."

Forty minutes later found Lexa driving away from Anya's house and instead toward Clarke's apartment. She was aware of her fingers tapping impatiently against her steering wheel, and she tried to relax but frankly, she was nervous, and she couldn't help it.

She got buzzed into Clarke's apartment without question, and Lexa briefly thought that she should tell Clarke to stop doing that, in case some serial killer or something arrived at her door step at the same instance as Lexa was supposed to show up. She was sure that those were going to be the first words out of her mouth when Clarke opened the door for her, but instead she just threw herself into Clarke's arms pathetically. "I'm nervous."

"Hello to you, too," Clarke said, chuckling. "How come you're nervous? You know me, and you know your mom. What's there to be nervous about?"

"My mother is going to scare you away, Clarke!" Lexa exclaimed, pulling out of the hug and moving around the blonde, sitting on the round table as Clarke shut her apartment door. When she turned around, Clarke crossed her arms over her chest.

"Do you really not know how to use chairs?"

"Clarke."

"Alright fine, you're nervous. But your mom isn't going to scare me away. I'll have you know, I am prepared to be impressive as fuck. I've been through the shitty parts of my life already, and I am fucking ready to meet your mom," Clarke declared, stepping into her kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Alcohol?"

"Yeah, Lexa, because the best thing to do right now is to get you tipsy and then go meet your mother," Clarke deadpanned, grabbing two cokes out of the fridge and passing one to Lexa, unamused. The brunette took it despite herself, and popped it open, downing half of it in one gulp. "What, are you pretending it's beer or something? You're really that nervous?"

"I shouldn't be," Lexa muttered. "I just spent over an hour at Anya's house bitching about how you're going to realize that I'm not worth the hassle that is my mother."

"That's ridiculous," Clarke said, setting down her unopened drink and coming over to the table, putting her hands on its surface on either side of Lexa. "I think as far as parents go, mine are far shittier than your mom. Parents don't scare me away, Lexa."

"What scares you away?"

Clarke laughed, raising a concerned eyebrow. "Are you trying to scare me away now?"

"No, I just figured I should know," Lexa murmured, wrapping her legs suddenly around Clarke's waist and pulling her body directly next to the table. Their lips came together a second later, and Clarke made a surprised noise at the sudden action.

Clarke smiled into the kiss for a moment, before pulling her face away and giving Lexa a pointed look. "Are you trying to get me to distract you?"

"Distract me," Lexa whined, leaning forward to grab Clarke's lips again. Clarke hummed happily against her lips, surprising Lexa when the brunette suddenly found herself with her back flat against the table.

"You like getting on top of tables so much," Clarke murmured against her lips, supporting herself above Lexa.

Lexa moaned as Clarke's thigh suddenly slid in between her own, and her body arched up off of the table as her hips tried to press into it. They were both wearing long jeans, but even though there wasn't any skin contact, Lexa's center was already craving Clarke.

"Fucking shit," Lexa panted as Clarke ground her thigh against her sex, the clothes hardly an issue even though they probably should've been. "I'm gonna come without you even touching me."

"I'm okay with that," Clarke murmured, her lips now over Lexa's pulse point. Lexa groaned, aware that her jeans were now sticking to her legs, and she was going to need to clean up her underwear after this.

She thought for a moment that she might not actually come all the way like this, but then Clarke's hand, the one no longer holding her up, was under her shirt, over her bra. Lexa never knew that contact over clothing could feel so damn good. "Fuck, Clarke!" Clarke continued to grind her thigh into Lexa's center, and the brunette felt her mind begin to get lost as her body reacted. When she came, she was sure that she yelled out something, but she couldn't remember. It was when she was laying flat against the table again, looking up at Clarke with wide eyes as her chest rose and fall quickly, that she muttered, "I think that was a sufficient distraction. I didn't know someone could come like that."

"The female orgasm is a magical thing," Clarke claimed, sitting up and straddling Lexa across her hips. "You really are very noisy during sex. It's really hot."

Lexa felt her face heat up. "I can't help it."

"Hey, like I said, I'm not complaining. I like it," Clarke murmured, dipping down again to place a sweet kiss on Lexa's lips. "But you should probably go clean yourself up down there so that you don't smell like you just had sex when we leave." Clarke winked at her knowingly, and Lexa rolled her eyes.

"Fine, but you're on top of me, so I'm not sure how easy it'll be to get up."

Clarke chuckled, carefully getting off of Lexa and the table, and the brunette sat up, knowing that her hair was probably messed up as well. She made her way into Clarke's room, and then her bathroom, and set about fixing herself up.

Despite the distraction, by the time Clarke's car was parking in the lot nearest to the restaurant, Lexa's fingers were fiddling with the hem of her shirt nervously. "Calm down, cutie," Clarke insisted as she parked. "She won't scare me away, I promise."

"Okay," Lexa mumbled, and they both got out of Clarke's car. As they started toward the restaurant, where Lexa's mom had texted saying that they had reservations at for efficiency's sake, Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand. The blonde squeezed it immediately, and Lexa was relieved that it made her feel better.

They entered the restaurant, which was pretty busy considering that it was a Saturday night, and approached the host, who gave them a kind smile. "Table for two?" he asked.

"No, we're here with the Alexandria Woods reservation," Lexa said quickly, unsure as to whether her mom was already here.

"Ah okay," he said, nodding. "Yes, the rest of your party is already here. Follow me."

As they started after him, Clarke turned her head a little to whisper to Lexa, "Let's make a bet. If all goes well, I'll top you tonight. If not, you top me. Fair?"

Lexa narrowed her eyes in an attempted glare at the blonde, who just grinned widely. She was then distracted however, by her mother sitting in the center of one side of a booth. Across from her were two more place settings, and Lexa took in a deep breath as they approached the table. "Hey, mom," Lexa heard herself greet, and the older woman looked up, jumping up from the table.

"Hello, you must be Clarke," was the first thing she said, smiling brightly and extending a hand to the blonde. "It's so nice to meet you. Lexa talks about you a lot."

Lexa's jaw dropped. "Only because you wouldn't stop asking me about her."

Clarke was already stifling a laugh as she shook Lexa's mom's hand. "It's really nice to meet you as well, Ms. Woods."

"Please, call me Alexandria," her mother said with a shake of her head, sitting back down in the booth. Clarke and Lexa took their seats as well, but the brunette was feeling completely blindsided. Where had this side of her mother come from? Even Anya didn't call her mom Alexandria. "I hope the drive wasn't far or anything. I was on campus."

"No, I live really close to here," Clarke said, smiling, "so it wasn't a problem. Helps to live close to campus, anyway."

Their waiter suddenly appeared, giving the three of them a polite greeting and then asking them for their drink orders. When he was gone, Lexa's mom gave the two of them another smile. "So, Lexa tells me that you're an artist."

"Yes, I paint a lot. And I draw sometimes," Clarke said, nodding. "I've always loved art. I can't really picture myself doing anything other than that."

"Well, it's good that you know what you want to do with your life. Lexa's still not sure, her major is undeclared."

"She knows that mom," Lexa said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"I'm just making conversation," her mom tutted. "So Clarke, you're getting your associate's degree, but if you went to college after high school, wouldn't you have it by now?"

"I started college late," Clarke admitted, "about a year and a half late. I made up the missing semester with two summers worth of classes. After I graduated high school, my life kind was turned upside down because my parents had just divorced and well, it wasn't so pretty."

"That's awful," Lexa's mom claimed, frowning. Their drinks were being set in front of them all suddenly, and they all thanked the waiter. "That's why I'm mostly glad that Lexa's father left before she was born. At least he didn't leave sometime while she was a kid. I think divorces are always hard on kids."

"But don't you ever wonder what we would've been like if he'd stayed?" Lexa asked, looking curiously at her mom, who shrugged.

"I know what it would've been like. He would have been a money waster, not worth the trouble, and eventually he would've either left, or I would've kicked him out, and you would've been a kid struggling to understand why your parents had just suddenly split apart," her mom explained concisely, frowning.

Lexa sighed. "I guess you're right."

"I can't imagine what it would've been like if my parents split when I was younger," Clarke admitted, frowning. "They always seemed pretty happy until they weren't. That was probably the weirdest of it. But I don't really need them in my life anymore. My family is with my friends now."

Lexa's mom smiled. "That's sweet. So, are you looking to do art full time after getting your degree?" The older woman looked down at her menu as she asked, and Clarke and Lexa did the same, realizing that they hadn't looked at all yet.

"Maybe not full time," Clarke answered. "I work at The Bean, and I'll probably keep that job until I really don't need it anymore, which might be awhile. Surprisingly, though, that coffee shop gives pretty good benefits, so I'm not really complaining."

"I told Lexa that she should've tried and get a job there over the summer," Alexandria said, glancing up at Lexa, who was purposefully looking away, "but she insisted that disappearing without a trace every day was more up her alley."

"They weren't hiring," Lexa insisted, finally finding something on the menu that she wanted.

"That's where you two met, isn't it?"

"Well –"

"Yes," Lexa interrupted, remembering her lie and flashing Clarke a look. The blonde was suddenly biting back a smirk, realizing that Lexa hadn't told her mom about the Finn thing. Lexa was pretty sure that she had perfectly valid reasons for omitting that certain tidbit of information from her explanation on how she'd met Clarke, but she had only just remembered that she'd said it.

"Why do I feel like I'm missing something?"

Lexa's eyes flickered closed, running a hand through her hair. "We didn't actually meet at The Bean," she admitted, because Clarke was giving her a look that basically said that it was her call to choose what to say. "I met a friend of hers at The Bean, and he showed me this warehouse that he and all his friends had, and that's where I met Clarke."

"A warehouse?" her mom asked curiously, and Lexa was just relieved that she was dropping the topic of how they met.

"Yeah, me and a bunch of my friends own this warehouse that's divided up into a bunch of different rooms. Each of us have one. I do art in mine, my friend Finn does carpentry in his... and so on. No mortgage or anything either, the guy who sold it to us just gave us a flat and final price. That's probably a little sketchy, but we took it."

"It's pretty cool," Lexa admitted, smiling at her girlfriend.

Their waiter approached them again suddenly, and they quickly each ordered. The waiter nodded politely and asked, "Will there be a split check tonight?"

"I can cover it all," Clarke said quickly, and Lexa didn't miss the impressed look on her mom's face.

"That's ridiculous, Clarke, I'm the one who took you two out. I'll be paying."

Lexa was pretty sure that an alien had come and body swapped her mother or something, because she was definitely far too nice and accepting and... Lexa really just didn't understand.

The waiter smiled. "Alright, one check. Your food should be out shortly."

Throughout the rest of the meal, Lexa's mom didn't ask a single invasive question, and Lexa actually found herself relaxed by the end of it. As Lexa's mom was filling out the check when dinner was over, Clarke dismissed herself to go to the restroom, and Lexa looked to her mom with wide eyes. "So you like her?"

Her mom looked up. "Are you kidding? She's a very sweet girl, Lexa, of course I like her. Did you think that I wouldn't?"

"I don't know, you seemed really skeptical when I first told you about her. Because, you know, she's older than me and she's not doing four years of college and whatnot," Lexa explained nervously.

"I know you, Lexa. I know that you're going to pursue what you want no matter who you're hanging out with. You're not that impressionable," her mom insisted, smiling softly. "And I trust you. Clarke seems like a very nice girl, and I can tell that she likes you a lot. And you clearly like her a lot. Why would I try to mess that up?"

Lexa let out a relieved breath. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"I don't actually think you have, but I love you too," her mom said, smiling. "Are you going back to Clarke's place tonight, or coming home?"

Lexa smiled shyly, aware of the blush coming to her cheeks. "I'll be home tomorrow morning." Her mom just laughed and shook her head.

As they were exiting the restaurant, Lexa's mom turned back to Clarke with a smile on her face. "It was so nice to meet you, Clarke."

"You too, Ms. Woods," Clarke returned, smiling and accepting the hand that was extended to her.

"Alexandria," her mom corrected. "We should do this again sometime, it was so nice to actually get a glimpse into Lexa's life for once. But I better go now, it's been a long day and I'm not young anymore, I'm gonna need to sleep pretty soon. I'll see you tomorrow, Lexa. Lovely to meet you, Clarke."

"Bye, mom," Lexa said, smiling at her mom as the woman started off to her car. As soon as she was out of ear shot and Clarke and Lexa were heading back to Clarke's car, the brunette said, "Okay, that did not go how I thought it would. She loves you."

"Why do you sound so surprised? I'm amazing," Clarke teased, grinning.

"I know that," Lexa said, shaking her head, "but I didn't expect her to be open minded enough to see it. I guess I underestimated her."

"I'm just glad that we have at least one supportive parent between the two of us."

Their car ride home was mostly quiet, but really only because Lexa was caught up in deep thoughts. She was aching to touch Clarke, and to thank her and tell her that she loved her. She wanted to pour the elation she was feeling right now into her girlfriend, but she wasn't sure that she knew how.

It was when they finally walked back into Clarke's apartment that she gathered up her courage to do something. "Hey, you know that deal you tried to make with me before dinner? Can we reverse it?"

"You wanna top me?" Clarke asked curiously, lifting an eyebrow.

Lexa scoffed. "You know that I'm not always a bottom."

Clarke hummed in agreement, a look of amusement on her face. "Alright, that's true. But I'm perfectly content making you feel good. Not that wehave to have sex just because we're in the same fucking room alone."

Just as her words were ending, Lexa stepped forward and crashed her lips into Clarke's, pushing the blonde backwards and toward her room at a startling speed. They stumbled for a moment, and Clarke caught herself on her bedroom door, which was conveniently closed. Lexa pinned her there, dominating her girlfriend's lips with her own.

They took a break for breath, their chests both rising and falling quickly. "What was that for?"

"I... I guess it's a thank you," Lexa whispered, her eyes searching Clarke's. "For everything. For being so amazing and just as perfect as you can be. I just... I – I..."

"Slow down," Clarke murmured, smiling a little as Lexa fumbled over her words.

"I can't, Clarke, because you make me feel so full and alive. And I was so terrified of my mom being a bitch, but she loved you and I just feel so fucking happy," Lexa said, her words spilling out of her. "And I just... I don't know who I'd be without you, and I c-can't even fucking imagine it because I love you and I know that last week you told me that you were falling in love with me but I didn't make a big deal about it because you were scared and I'm sorry if me saying that scares you but I love you and I just can't not say it, because right now it's all I can think of and I want to lay you out on your bed and show you how much I love you."

Clarke's breathing had sped up, and before she could say anything, Lexa brought their lips together again as she carefully opened the bedroom door with her hand. Clarke moaned as Lexa pushed her into the room and to the bed. The blonde was under Lexa in a second, and Lexa was practically tearing at her clothes. After each piece was removed, she traced the exposed skin with her lips and teeth and tongue, and Clarke moaned and hummed at the feeling. "Lexa," she whispered, but Lexa didn't want her to talk yet. She tore away Clarke's pants, sliding them down all the way, followed by her underwear.

Lexa looked on at Clarke's center, wet and waiting. She'd never done this before, but she assumed that it couldn't be too hard.

"Lexa," Clarke murmured again, but this time it was a plea, and Lexa lowered herself in between Clarke's legs. Slowly closing in on the waiting area, she blew coldly on it, and Clarke moaned. Gathering up her courage, she licked along Clarke's slit, hearing a pleased noise from her girlfriend.

She was careful, worried that she might do something wrong, but every noise that Clarke moaned or gasped out was one that urged her to keep going. And Clarke tasted so good. She already knew that, of course, but she tasted even better like this. Thinking about it made her moan into Clarke's center, and the blonde reacted instantly, her hips bucking upwards.

Lexa flattened her tongue over Clarke's clit, sliding two fingers into her girlfriend purposefully. She could tell that Clarke was close, and she was very pleased when the blonde let out a loud shout of her name and then collapsed onto the bed, spent. Lexa gently pulled out of her, placing a soft kiss on the inside of Clarke's thigh, and then sucked her fingers clean before crawling up to lay next to her girlfriend.

"You always call me noisy," Lexa murmured, "but you're easily as loud as I am. It just so happens that you're usually the one making me scream."

Clarke turned her head to give Lexa a sweet smile. "You're probably right, but I'd like to think that you're still noisier."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Lexa said, chuckling.

"You help me sleep at night," Clarke admitted bashfully, wrapping her arms around Lexa suddenly and pulling their front together. "Just maybe, with less clothes."

Lexa giggled, biting down on her lower lip and then making quick work of stripping away her clothes. "There, better?"

"Yes." Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa again tightly and then scanned her face carefully. "I love you, too, by the way. In case you didn't know? I didn't know how to tell you."

"Neither did I," Lexa murmured, placing a quick peck on Clarke's lips, "it just sorta came out. I was scared that you might get scared."

"You don't scare me anymore," Clarke promised. "I mean, obviously it's a little scary that you're probably the only one who could crush me. But I don't think you'll do that, so that's a reassuring feeling. I really love you, Lexa. I do."

"I love you, too," Lexa said, grinning. "But you know, I just showed you how much I love you... maybe I need you to show me just how much you love me."

Clarke grinned. "That can be arranged, beautiful."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hold on! Don't go any further! You guys have had the privilege of not having to pay much attention to my rants every chapter, but lemme just get this one in before you finish the story c;**

 **As I've said previously, this story's original is on Archive of Our Own, and is part of a series called Ameliorate ... The second story of the series is titled Tainted, and it is currently being posted still on Ao3. Now, it WILL be posted on HERE when it is FINISHED! (Approximately 8 - 10 days from now... hopefully no longer than 10 days) Of course, if you do want to, you can go onto Ao3 (my profile is ToriWritesStories on there) and read it now while it's going. But I will be doing 2 chapters a day whenever I post it on here, just like this :)**

 **Thanks for enjoying and reading, you beautiful people 3 I loved writing this story, and I'm glad that the people here on FF who don't read on Ao3 got a chance to read it as well 3 xx**

 **Enjoy the last chapter! XX**

* * *

"Doesn't it feel kind of weird that Clarke is graduating before all of us?" Raven asked, looking around at the group.

Octavia rolled her eyes. "It's a completely different level degree, Raven, chill out."

"Well, I'm excited for our graduation next year," Raven stated, and Bellamy scoffed.

"What about my graduation at the end of this year? No one's excited for me?"

Lexa smirked. Clarke's friends, who were all quickly becoming her friends as well, never failed to amuse her. "Clarke and I are excited for your graduation," she offered up, flashing him a bright smile as he grinned at her.

"Thank you, Lexa."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Lexa's just still in the phase where she's trying to make sure that we like her, she doesn't mean it."

"Are you kidding? I'm starting to like Lexa more than I like Clarke," Octavia said, and Lexa laughed, shaking her head. "Anyway, Bell, of course we're excited for your graduation. Just not as excited for our own graduation."

"Mine and Raven's hardly count," Monty said, shaking his head, "we both wanna go on after our bachelor's."

"It's still a degree," Finn rebutted with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, and I'm probably going to go for my master's, too. I should be able to get it in less than two years, too, because I've gotten so many extra hours and I'm going to pull what everyone else seems to do here and take some summer courses to jump ahead," Octavia explained, smiling proudly. "I've got my life planned out guys. Be jealous."

"So do all of us," Bellamy reminded her. "You're not that special, O."

"Um, as my brother, you're not allowed to say shit like that."

"Guys, shut up," Raven chided suddenly, "the ceremony is about to start."

The lights were dimming in the campus auditorium, and all of them set their gazes on the stage, where the headmaster was walking out with a smile on her face. Lexa felt herself zone out a bit as the woman spoke, and her thoughts began to swim. For some reason, it felt weird sitting at a college graduation when she had yet to experience even her own high school graduation. She was incredibly excited for Clarke, however, and as much as her girlfriend insisted that she hardly cared about getting her associate's degree, Lexa knew that she was excited as well.

However, Lexa was slightly bummed that Clarke had to sit among all the graduates. It was expected, of course, and understandable, but Lexa wished that she could be sitting next to her to witness just how excited she was.

It seemed that there were just over a hundred people at the ceremony getting their associate's degree in something or another, and when the name calling finally began, Lexa sat up straighter in her seat expectantly.

As the headmaster read out people's names with last names at the start of the alphabet, it occurred to Lexa that Clarke was lucky to have a G last name. Lexa would have to wait until nearly the very end of her graduation ceremony before getting called. She had a feeling that that would just build up the suspense and possible just make her anxious, but she was sure that she'd be just as excited by the end of it anyway.

Right now, though, was Clarke's moment, and when the headmaster finally called out, "Clarke Griffin!", all of the people sitting next to Lexa cheered loudly, and she did so along with them. Clarke walked onto the stage to receive her certificate, shook a few people's hands, and then was off the stage again.

"Aw, they grow up so fast," Octavia cooed playfully, and the rest of them laughed lightly.

The ceremony didn't take too much longer, and when they were all allowed to lead, Lexa was pulling along with the rest of Clarke's friends to find the blonde. When they did, they all grabbed her in a huge group hug. "Fuck, you guys, it's just an associate's degree, I don't deserve this much praise," Clarke gasped from the center of the hug.

They released her, blue eyes met green ones. Lexa smiled widely at her girlfriend. "Congratulations!" she said, as the rest of the group offered up their congratulations as well.

"Thanks you guys," Clarke said, laughing and shaking her head.

Bellamy nudged her happily. "Wanna go for drinks to celebrate? You can all just come to my place, since Lexa can't drink out anywhere."

"Sure, but I've gotta go home and change first," Clarke agreed, smiling at him. "Lexa and I will meet you guys there."

"Alright! See you there then."

The group disappeared off toward the parking lot, and Lexa was left with her girlfriend, who she immediately wrapped her arms around and kissed without warning. Clarke hummed happily into it, and when they broke apart, she raised an eyebrow. "That was a nice congratulations."

"There will be more later," Lexa promised, winking at her. "Oh, but that's not all." Lexa pulled away from the blonde in order to fumble with the clutch bag she'd brought specifically to carry the envelope that was in it. "And before you say anything about it, it's from my mother, so you can't turn it down."

She produced the envelope and handed it to her girlfriend, who opened it curiously and pulled out the check that was inside it. Her eyes widened. It wasn't really a ton of money, but about the size that Lexa's mom deemed right for a graduation gift. "Lexa, I can't take money from your mom."

"It's a graduation gift, Clarke, you can't really turn it down. If you do, my mom might not like you anymore, and let's be honest, neither of us want that," Lexa insisted, smiling softly. "Come on, don't you need to go and change?"

Clarke sighed inwardly, giving in and sliding the check back into the envelope. "Yes, come on. You didn't drive here yourself did you?"

"No, Bellamy took us all in one car," Lexa answered with a shake of her head, following the blonde as she started toward the parking lot as well. "So, do you feel all official and stuff now that you have a fancy certificate?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Clarke smirked. "No, but I do feel relieved that I'm done with college now. I can focus on my art and... I'm just really happy." They got to Clarke's car and were soon on their way to Clarke's apartment.

"So is everyone just planning on staying over at Bellamy's, since he's usually the sober driver but we're going to his place?" Lexa asked, tilting her head and looking to Clarke, who shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't really wanna stay over there."

Lexa gave her a smile. "If you want, I can be your sober driver for once. So you can drink some and celebrate."

"You sure?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing away from the road.

"Yep," Lexa confirmed. "It's your graduation day anyway, so it would be totally uncool for me to drink and you not to."

"Is your mom expecting you home tonight?"

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Is she ever expecting me home on the weekends? She didn't even expect me home before she knew I was dating you."

"Okay, valid point."

When they got to Clarke's place, Lexa sat herself on the table in the main room while Clarke slipped into her bedroom to change. Grabbing her phone from her pocket to distract her, she realized that she had a bunch of missed messages.

 **Group Message: Anya and Luna and You**

 **Luna – WHERE IS LEXA AT**

 **Anya – She's at Clarke's graduation, obviously.**

 **Luna – Oh, Lex tell Clarke I say congrats.**

 **Luna – I guess that means you're busy all night. Dammit.**

 **Anya – Obviously, Luna.**

 **Anya – Why?**

 **Luna – Wanted to go out to the bonfire that's tonight. It's the first one where the bonfire is actually gonna be a big deal, because it's cold AF outside.**

 **Luna – You in?**

 **Anya – I guess.**

 **Anya – I can't believe I started hanging out with you again. All you do is steal all my free time.**

 **Luna – It's what I'm good at :-)**

 **Luna – Can I pick you up in an hour?**

 **Luna – Lex, you're of course free to join as well. Once you're done fucking your girlfriend in celebration of her being done with college, ofc.**

 **Anya – Luna, that's gross, stop. You can pick me up in an hour, yes.**

Lexa rolled her eyes at her friends.

 **You – Have fun at the bonfire. Clarke and I are going to Bellamy's for drinks. I'm the sober driver tonight, though. Which, by the way, you two better not drive while drunk. I'm still holding Luna to that promise that you weren't going to do that anymore.**

 **Anya – Oh don't worry, Lincoln and Echo are here and Lincoln isn't drinking. How was Clarke's graduation ceremony?**

 **You – Was good :)**

 **Luna – Stop distracting Anya, Lexa, I'm trying to get her to take another shot with me. ANYA where did you go btw I can't find you.**

 **Anya – I'm right behind you, are you really that drunk already?**

 **You – Well, have fun with that you guys. I'm about to head out with Clarke. See you Monday. :)**

Lexa dropped her phone in her lap just in time to see Clarke exit her room, dressed now in jeans and a sweater. "It's cold out," she complained.

"That's what happens when it's almost winter," Lexa teased, scooting off of the table and standing upright, sliding her phone into her pocket now. "Ready to go?"

"Usually you're the one complaining about wanting to just stay here," Clarke realized, smirking as she grabbing Lexa's hand and started toward the front door.

Lexa shrugged. "Yeah, well, it's a special day for you, and I want you to celebrate with your friends."

"They're not just my friends, you know?" Clarke gave Lexa a pointed look as they left the apartment and started down the single flight of stairs. "They're your friends, too."

"I know," Lexa agreed. "Actually, Octavia said that she's starting to like me more than you, so you better watch out. I might steal all of your friends for myself."

"I'm okay with sharing, but don't push it," Clarke teased, and they pushed open the door and stepped back out into the cold. As it got later, the temperature was dropping from where it had been slightly warm to now. It was bound to almost freeze in a few hours, and Lexa and Clarke both rushed as quickly as they could to the latter's car.

Later, Lexa was sitting on Bellamy's living room couch with a glass of water in her hand, while her girlfriend was sitting next to her, talking animatedly with the group as they all drank. Bellamy had even chosen to drink, though he was the most sober there besides Lexa. It was kind of interesting being the sober one for once, but Lexa didn't really mind. It was funny to actually be able to absorb what kind of drunks everyone was, and watching Clarke get tipsy was actually quite rewarding. She wasn't quite the same horny drunk that Lexa was, and she mostly just got loud and easily amused when she was drunk. Her temper also seemed like it was shorter, but luckily nothing happened to instigate anything. What made Lexa smile the most about it, though, was that Clarke clung to her a lot while she was drinking.

Clarke stopped herself after a certain number of drinks, though, and Lexa wasn't surprised. Clarke was not one to get drunk, and she was sure that it had to do with her past experiences with drinking and partying.

It was nice to just be there with her girlfriend and all of their friends. She wondered if this was what she'd been craving months earlier, was it just this sense of freedom and relaxation that she'd wanted when she started trying to push herself out of her comfort zone? If not, then she'd just gotten incredibly lucky by ending up where she was now.

Clarke suddenly pressed a soft kiss on her cheek and murmured, "I love you," into her ear, and Lexa couldn't help but smile at the blonde.

"You two are so cutesy and gross," Raven claimed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking pointedly at them both.

"Deal with it," Clarke snapped, cuddling into Lexa's side.

"Why does she get to sleep on the couch?" Octavia whined to Bellamy, flinging herself onto the last available area of the couch. Lexa glanced at the time on her phone and saw that it was starting to get very late.

"She doesn't," Lexa stated, carefully getting up from the couch despite Clarke's protests. "We're gonna go, it's late."

"I don't wanna leave," Clarke mumbled, pouting up at Lexa, who just laughed and shook her head, grabbing her girlfriend's hands carefully.

"Come on, Clarke, we're gonna go back to your place and we can cuddle there, okay?"

Bellamy snickered. "You haven't had to deal with a drunk Clarke yet, have you?"

"No, but I'm very certain that I'll be fine," Lexa answered, laughing as well as she got Clarke to stand up.

"We'll see you guys later," Octavia chimed, and Lexa flashed them all a smile.

Clarke seemed to sober up a little when they walked out into the cold after leaving Bellamy's apartment building. "It's cold."

"I know, that's why you wore a sweater."

"It's not warm enough," Clarke complained, pouting at Lexa again.

Lexa got Clarke to her car, and the blonde eagerly climbed into the passenger seat, sighing happily at the warmth that came with the car. Lexa got Clarke's keys from her pocket and started the car, quickly flipping on the heater and then starting their drive back to Clarke's place.

"Don't crash my car," Clarke teased, smiling softly, "I really like it."

"I'm not going to crash it," Lexa promised. "I'm not the one whose been drinking, remember?"

"Mmhmm. You're awesome, you know? I love you."

Lexa couldn't help but laugh, and she gave Clarke a sidelong glance. "Well thank you. I love you, too."

"You know, I never thought I'd ever say this, but I'm really glad that you almost slept with Finn."

Lexa laughed, shaking her head and scrunching her nose. "I mean, meeting you was really the only good thing that came from that. I don't ever wanna think about what almost happened instead."

"You're right," Clarke said, chuckling. The blonde let out a content sigh, and Lexa was glad that the drive to Clarke's place was short, because she was beginning to feel tired. They were nearly there already, though it helped that the roads were empty this late at night. "I just love you a lot."

"So you've said. I thought I was the lovey drunk," Lexa teased.

"No, you're the horny drunk. And I'm not drunk. Just like... really tipsy. I stopped myself before I could get too drunk."

Lexa hummed. "So I noticed." She pulled the car into the parking lot for Clarke's apartment, and they both rushed from the car to the building, where it was warm again. Once up to Clarke's apartment, they both quickly changed into some of the warm sweats and sweatshirts in Clarke's closet and readied themselves for bed.

When they were finally done, they curled up under the blankets in Clarke's bed comfortably. "Hey," Lexa murmured, "Thursday is Thanksgiving."

"Mmhmm."

"My mom said that you can come have Thanksgiving dinner with us if you want."

Clarke's tired eyes lit up a little. "Okay."

"What do you usually do for Thanksgiving?"

"Drink beer while Finn and Jasper watch football," Clarke answered, smiling in amusement as she snuggled closer to the brunette. "Dinner with you and your mom sounds nicer."

"Then you better cash that check before Thursday, or my mom's gonna scold you about not doing so."

Clarke nodded. "I'll do it on Monday. I'm sleepy."

"So go to sleep," Lexa cooed quietly, smiling and tangling her legs with Clarke's under the blankets. Clarke let out a happy sigh and then Lexa knew that she was drifting off to sleep.

Whether or not this was what Lexa wanted when she first forced herself to be different than her norm, whether it was luck or not that brought her to this point, all she knew was that she'd never been happier with herself or her situation than she was right now, and that was all she had ever wanted.


End file.
